


Blue Roses and Golden Apples

by RedxLipstick



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alpha Victor Nikiforov, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Fisting, Anal Sex, Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Anxious Katsuki Yuuri, Biting, Blood, Blow Jobs, Bottom Katsuki Yuuri, Bottom Victor Nikiforov, Breastfeeding, Breeding, Breeding Kink, Chubby Katsuki Yuuri, Cloaca, Come as Lube, Coming Out, Consensual Underage Sex, Crying During Sex, Crying Victor Nikiforov, Cussing, Depressed Victor Nikiforov, Depression, Dirty Talk, Eros Katsuki Yuuri, Face-Sitting, Families of Choice, Family Feels, Financial Issues, Flustered Victor Nikiforov, Gender Dysphoria, Genderfluid Character, Genderfluid Katsuki Yuuri, Genderfluid Victor Nikiforov, Genderfluid Yuri Plisetsky, Grooming, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Imprinting, Insecurity, Jealous Katsuki Yuuri, Jealousy, Katsuki Yuuri and Victor Nikiforov are Yuri Plisetsky's Parents, Lactation Kink, Lingerie, M/M, Male Lactation, Male Menstruation, Marriage Proposal, Masturbation, Mating Bites, Mating Bond, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Medication, Menstruation Descriptions, Nesting, Omega Katsuki Yuuri, Oral Fixation, POV Victor Nikiforov, Pack Dynamics, Painful Sex, Panic Attacks, Pansexual Victor Nikiforov, Parental Death, Parents Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Past Christophe Giacometti/Victor Nikiforov, Past Relationship(s), Pining Victor Nikiforov, Podium Family, Possessive Behavior, Possessive Katsuki Yuuri, Possessive Victor Nikiforov, Pregnancy Kink, Protective Katsuki Yuuri, Protective Victor Nikiforov, Pseudo-Incest, Purring, Rimming, Rough Sex, Rutting, Scenting, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Fisting, Sex Toys, Smut, Switch Katsuki Yuuri, Switch Victor Nikiforov, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Top Katsuki Yuuri, Top Victor Nikiforov, Unhealthy Relationships, Victor's League of Evil Exes, Weight Issues, Weird Biology
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-06
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2018-10-15 08:38:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 30
Words: 111,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10553348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedxLipstick/pseuds/RedxLipstick
Summary: After a whirlwind night Victor Nikiforov is sure he's found his mate in one Yuuri Katsuki. But Yuuri doesn't remember any of this? Worse still-how can Victor control his every alpha instinct screaming at him to claim his omega?Victor goes to Hasetsu to court and coach the lovely omega Yuuri Katsuki. Then Yuri Plisetsky shows up and Victor and Yuuri are pretty sure they just became parents and adopted a pup.This is the story of Victor and Yuuri falling in love through the skating season and of Yuuri, Victor, and Yuri growing together as a family!This story covers Victor and Yuuri meeting at the GPF banquet through the canon timeline, and beyond (with lots of fluffs stuffed in along the way)!





	1. Prologue: The Banquet

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! Thank you all for reading! This is un-beta'd so I apologize for any grammatical/spelling errors. 
> 
> I'll update the tags and add specific chapter warnings to each chapter as-needed. 
> 
> I do not own Yuri On Ice-I just like to skate around in their world from time to time.
> 
> ***FOR NOTES ON THE TIMELINE OF CANON EVENTS USED IN THIS STORY AND MY SOUNDTRACK FOR THIS STORY, PLEASE SEE THE END NOTES***
> 
> Please see this beautiful artwork Bullsfish did for Chapter 16 here: https://bullsfish.tumblr.com/post/161968753084/victor-and-yuuri-laid-down-on-the-blanket-and

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor is pulled into Yuuri's drunken dancing and realizes the omega is his mate.
> 
> "Pro·logue /ˈprōˌlôɡ/ noun: a separate introductory section of a literary or musical work"
> 
> Songs:
> 
> Gold by Kiiara  
> Take Me On The Floor by The Veronicas

He had to be an omega. He just had to be.

God, even if he wasn't an omega-he had to be Victor's mate. He knew it, like he'd never known anything before.

He felt-something-for the first time in...years.

This was his mate. He had to be.

This tiny, unassuming, Japanese male, who somehow became the life of the party after too much champagne.

He didn't know if he wanted to rip him off that pole, away from Christophe's verdant scent and the prying eyes of the other attendees, or continue watching from the sidelines. Victor stood frozen in place, watching the beautiful skater rub his plush groin all over the pole that Christophe had magically produced out of nowhere.

The alpha swallowed again and again, trying futilely to gulp in fresh air to clear his head of the pheromones clouding his thoughts. His fangs teased his gums with pinpricks, and his own personal brand of scented venom-the velvet musk of muted and weeping roses, crushed to release their fragrance-seeped like a veil across his tongue.

_Keep it together, Nikiforov._

Victor startled when his senses were plunged into a sweet wave of the Japanese skater's singular, omega scent-apples. Sweet, golden apples, so ripe they boughed the branches in the orchards and perfumed the air with a heady, sugary scent that almost bordered on being overwhelming-consuming in intensity.

He felt a damp brush of skin on skin and was yanked to the impromptu dance floor, suddenly finding himself gathered up in the arms of the preening, drunken omega he'd been admiring all evening now. Yuuri. Yuuri Katsuki.

He had barely recognized the man earlier, even after they competed together in the final. But then, Victor had been numb to the world for a long time by now. Everything seemed muted in greys and blues, and he forced himself to strive for golden medals on golden skates to break the monotony-but even that was failing as of late to break through his shroud.

It took this omega getting in Yuri Plisetski's face and challenging him to a dance-off of all things; for the tiny omega to twist the entire room around his fingers as he twisted his body around that shiny pole with Christophe as back-up, to garner Victor's attention.

Now, he had Victor's attention. All of it. Always. He couldn't look away. Couldn't hear anything but Yuuri's accented mumbles. Couldn't smell anything apart from those sweet, golden apples, making the alpha's mouth water and his fangs ache in his jaw.

Had Yuuri been using such a strong masking soap all along that Victor never noticed those sweet apples cloying around the omega's person until now? Had Yuuri never really spoken in Victor's presence before, that his beautiful voice just now resonated in the alpha's ears? How had Yuuri escaped Victor's notice before? Had Victor really been so out of it all?

It didn't really matter anymore, nothing mattered anymore-save for his omega mate, Yuuri, newly found, and the new center of Victor's world. Yuuri was all the gold Victor would be chasing from now on.

Victor sighed on an inhale of Yuuri's scent, so close he felt dizzy with the heady sweetness, The omega placed his warm hand against the alpha's cheek, turning his face towards only his own gaze. As if Victor needed encouragement to focus on Yuuri's beautiful face.

The omega started leading the alpha in a sensual flamenco, swirling his hips and showing off his flexibility and ballet-borne poise. And God, but Victor was doing all he could to keep upright and not keen and sink himself into the omega's obviously damp scent glands, teasingly swollen right under his jawline, tempting the alpha to claim him with every close brush of their torsos.

Yuuri didn't have an alpha, a mate, he was unbonded-and that sole thought was what allowed Victor to reign his ridiculously barbaric inner-alpha in, hope wasn't lost. He could, would, claim Yuuri as his mate, bond with him, there was time and opportunity-he wasn't claimed yet.

Victor whined pitifully and twisted his body in towards Yuuri's, curving into him in need- _please, please accept me, Yuuri, please._

The omega spun them again, bringing himself out of an artful arabesque, and leaned in towards Victor's neck. The alpha whimpered-this small omega had wrecked him, utterly. He knew he was being shameless and entirely inappropriate in public-but really, nothing about this was appropriate anyway.

Victor was twirled back to the side of the dance floor and Yuuri ended their dance by wrapping the taller man in a tight embrace. The alpha stiffened and his eyes widened while his pupils dilated-every instinct he had screaming at him to make a claim on this sweet omega crooning at him in practically a mating presentation in front of all these onlookers.

The omega started swaying his pelvis back and forth nonsensically towards the alpha. Their hips kissed and Victor almost fucking lost it-he pressed his lips together desperately to keep his venom in his mouth and gulped helplessly against the urgent need to bite, to claim his sweet mate.

Yuuri looked blearily up at Victor and slurred in Japanese before switching to English, "Be my coach, Victor~"

Victor found himself nodding jerkily, without even considering-of course, anything, the world, for Yuuri, his mate.

Yuuri released his hold around the taller man and Victor whined almost petulantly at the cool rush of air hitting his chest through his thin dress shirt in the warm omega's physical absence. Yuuri stumbled away, and his coach tugged on his arm, trying to wrangle the hyper omega back towards the exit.

The alpha curled his lip and a violent snarl rumbled through his chest, threatening to spill from his mouth in a horrid social faux pas. Yakov appeared suddenly, smacking the stiff alpha upside the back of his head and grumbling at him to pull himself together.

Victor jumped at the rough treatment and ran his fingers through his fine hair in frustration, with more than a hint of desperation-Yuuri was getting further away from him as he trudged towards the exit with his coach's guiding hand on his shoulder.

He looked frantically around for anything to write with-nothing!

He would-he would..."Yuuri! What's your number?!" The hapless alpha called to the retreating omega and his coach through the room, the onlookers having dispersed to chatter in groups about the wildness that was this year's banquet-quite scandalous, really!

The omega turned and squinted at the platinum halo in the distance-where had his glasses gone to? Was that halo the source of the good smell that was so soothing? Like sinking into a bath of warm rose water~ He didn't want to lose that! That smell was Victor! Victor the skater. Victor, his everything for so very long now.

Yuuri crowed what he was pretty sure was his phone number in a string of stilted Japanese. Celestino tutted and firmly pulled the drunk man through the exit of the banquet room and the door slammed shut with a loud bang that made the omega jump and cower into the beta next to him-wrong, his companion smelled so utterly wrong to him now that his memory was filled with velvet roses.

Victor swore and made to go after the pair that had just exited when Yakov caught his arm and growled, "Vitya, just because there's no reporters here doesn't mean your recklessness hasn't been seen by the world tonight," gesturing towards the cell phone clutched loosely in the alpha's sweaty hand.

Victor made to shrug his nagging coach off but suddenly Georgi, Mila, and Yuri were all around him too, shuffling him off towards another exit while the other attendees tittered around Christophe's newest distraction of trying to juggle some of the dessert pastries-still mostly naked, of course.

"Find him online tomorrow, man."

"You can always get a hold of him through the ISU, Victor."

"I'm pretty sure Yakov knows his coach, Moron."

His inner-alpha was panicking, his heart was racing, palms sweating in flashes of heat and chills, and he couldn't stop gulping and swallowing his venom now, running in fragrant rivulets down his tongue.

His chest felt like it was being squeezed with bands of gold while he felt like his heart was a bird beating its wings frantically against a cage, trying to escape through his ribs. Victor swayed dangerously on his feet and paled. His Russian team mates exchanged surprised and nervous glances as Yakov continued to push and hustle them all towards the exit.

His head pounded, his heartbeat was in his throat now, he couldn't hear anything-everything was roaring and rushing in a whirlwind, echoing!

Victor smacked his lips open and venom pooled and dripped down his chin over his swollen bottom lip, bruised from biting and trying too hard to keep his mouth shut and his fangs away in proper society. The alpha gasped and gasped-wheezing for air, and nearly fell in a feint by the time the group had made it through the elevator and up to their floor of the hotel.

Victor crashed through his door and fell haphazardly onto the bed, muttering in Russian about his mate, and Yakov rubbed a hand on his creased brow- _he didn't get paid enough for this ridiculous drama._

He stuffed the alpha under his blankets after removing his shoes and left a cold, wet washcloth on Victor's sweaty forehead. He shut the lights off except for a dim lamp and shushed Victor, before leaving the dramatic alpha to calm himself down and sleep.

In the near-darkness, Victor managed to take deep breaths after calming his heart rate to match the ticking of the clock on the night stand. He rationalized to himself-everything would be better in the morning. He would find Yuuri. He would find his mate. He would present himself as a suitor, it was clear Yuuri was interested, and he would claim his omega. It would all be okay. Everything would be alright...

So why did his mouth still burn and his stomach still ache?

 

 


	2. Interlude 1: The Next Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor wakes up to a new morning, without Yuuri.
> 
> "In·ter·lude /ˈin(t)ərˌlo͞od/ noun: 1. an intervening period of time 2. something performed during a theater intermission"
> 
> Song: 
> 
> Intention by Kiiara

It wasn't better the next morning after the banquet. All the lies Victor had to tell himself, the sleeping pills he tried to dose himself with to calm down, the fitful dreams he had finally fallen into-nothing was better when he woke up the next morning.

His throat was swollen and sore, it felt like he was swallowing around molten rock. He smelled the tang of copper and his nostrils burned when he tried to push his face deeper into the hot, plush pillow. His lips felt torn and when he cracked his eyes open and lifted his head from the pillow he whimpered pitifully-the white linen was covered in smears of blood and stunk with the matte tang of his venom. He brought a shaking hand up to his mouth and warily touched his gums where he felt his fangs throbbing, they had fully extended then, in the middle of the night, and he wasn't even in a rut-yet.

He had heard that when an alpha or omega found their mate that it was an instant thing-you just knew, more than anything. He knew alright-the knowledge that he had found his mate and then lost him all in one night battered against his weary instincts like repeated kicks and sucker punches to his insides. Every nerve was on fire-assuaging him to find his mate and claim him-again and again, just to be secure in the bond. He couldn't swallow around the swollen scent glands or venom sacs in his throat, overproducing his scented pheromones and alpha venom in tandem-all of his biological instincts in overdrive.

Why hadn't Yakov-fucking anyone-why hadn't they let him go after the omega last night? This clearly wasn't his dramatics-this was his real, live mate for crying out loud! Obviously he had been acting delirious-hell, he had been delirious with want, with need-but he knew even with all his past history, he had clearly never responded to anyone like he had to Yuuri at the banquet, his mate. He needed to find Yuuri! He needed to contact him! How could they part ways now?

Just as he reached for his phone to see how much longer he had before their evening flight back to Russia, his every muscle screaming at him, his cock throbbed and instantly stiffened as if in reaction to a burning brand. The alpha whined as his cock head pulsed mercilessly and blood flushed the wide head purple while his foreskin slowly rolled back, away from the swollen, over-sensitive tip.

He had never felt like this. His instincts, his biology, had never ruined his body so thoroughly like this before. He groaned in pain as his sex gave another hot, painful twinge and his eyes widened when he felt his knot begin to swell at the base of his cock without any stimulation at all-it had been but seconds since his dick had stiffened in the first place upon waking.

When he had presented as alpha upon hitting puberty, even his first rut cycle hadn't been this intense-his body ached, hurt, was screaming for his mate. Pheromones oozed out of his glands, oily and viscous, staining the air with the mute scent of roses.

Victor panicked and managed to grab at his phone even as his mind started clouding, his body warring with him after he had forced himself to sleep, even fitfully, for the few hours in the night-now he was awake and needed to find and claim his mate, nothing else mattered.

He managed a jumbled text to Yakov: _'Ruttt. Cancle fly-'_ before throwing his phone on the thin carpet and rolling back into the pile of blankets and pillows he had amassed underneath him in the night.

This was a fucking disaster. As the last of his sensibilities left him, Victor groaned in frustration-his stupid, primordial body was trying to force him to claim his mate but he couldn't find the elusive omega unless he had his rational mind intact and could actually work out a way to contact him, maybe even look for him in this godforsaken hotel before they left to their respective countries, so far from each other-

Victor pushed his face into the softness beneath his body and screamed into the pillows-where was his mate? Why had he been abandoned-again... His old lovers, they were nothing next to his mate. Its not like his past hurts could even hold a candle to what he was feeling now, but the lonely emptiness echoed and reverberated through his mind and body in aching waves-painful-it hurt, _Yuuri! Where are you Yuuri? Why have you left me?_

He suddenly froze and stiffened, his nose twitched and he scrabbled out of the sad nest of soft fabrics he had rolled into-without a mate, without his mate, alone. He smelled something sweet, it was so, so feint, but it was there-his omega! He chased the trace scent to the cold, hard surface across from the nest that was missing his mate. He found a small grouping of food and grabbed urgently at the yellow, smooth, and cool fruit that smelled just like his mate-an apple, that was the name of this food?

The alpha shook his head-it was so hard to think past the static instincts blaring through his senses and fragmented thought processes. He cradled the-apple-to his feverish, damp skin and crawled back into his empty nest. He nearly sobbed as a pang of loneliness speared through him, sending aches through his bones. His mate, his omega-this should be Yuuri's nest he was in. They should be in this nest together, mating. He sniffled and nuzzled against the apple's warming, smooth flesh and in a fit of need sunk both of his fangs to the root into the fruit's pulp and moaned in simultaneous agony and bliss while his painfully hard cock gushed a fountain of ejaculate all over the sheets. His knot twinged, twitched, and hardened further.

He pushed his shaking hands down, down his body, tucking them underneath where his pelvis was pressed against the bed and wrapped both of his hot palms around the violet knot that was painfully pulsing-seeking stimulation and compression from his mate's body. The alpha moaned around the mouthful of sweet apple his fangs were still sunk into, venom and saliva drooling and oozing around his lips sloppily and soaking the pillow beneath. He snuffled and groaned, rubbing the stuck fruit against the pillow while his fangs pulsed pleasurably and spit out streams of venom into the pulpy flesh as his hands began pressing against his knot.

The alpha's knot throbbed and pulsed, like he could feel the thrum of his blood-his heartbeat-in his groin. He moaned again, pitching nearly to a scream as his fingers pressed and pushed against his knot spasmodically, matching the beat of his lifeblood. He squeezed his eyes shut and saw his beautiful mate. His tiny, fragile omega underneath him, the lithe body warm and welcoming to it's alpha. His mate's greedy slit swallowed the alpha's knot whole and clenched, milking and begging for more seed. The alpha could smell and feel his omega on his fangs, as he sunk them into his scent gland and bonded his mate with his venom, searing the scent of roses into the sweet, sweet apples.

He shuddered and he felt a rolling wave of heat from his groin to his gut, pushing from his chest and burning throat in a hoarse moan-his cock jerked and his knot spasmed as he flooded more semen all over the nest. The alpha rubbed his hands through the warm, sticky fluids and whimpered at the oversensitivity in his tender sex, even as he continued to squeeze and massage his swollen knot with the slick.

The alpha whined and felt hot tears burning under his eyelids, rolling down his face-his omega wasn't here. His instincts has fooled him and he wanted to stay in the daydream-he never wanted to come back to himself, alone. He pulled his aching fangs from the wrecked apple and rolled over it with his body and scooted back and forth over the crushed pulp to spread the sweet scent into the nest with his own musky pallor.

His whines pitched and keened and he desperately arched his back as his legs fell open wantonly, cock still straining upwards, the firm knot unrelenting and causing his sex to lever and shake with every movement. The alpha was so very desperate for his omega-he would be the one to submit, if only it would bring his mate to him, if his mate would accept him and bond with him. He winced as the cool air hit his naked and vulnerable entrance, and he pushed his tense sac aside even though his knot was swollen and pressing up against his testicles warm with sweat and fluids.

He ran his shaking fingers through the tacky semen drying on his skin and brought a single finger pad to rub against the puckered hole now exposed to the room. He cried and begged for his mate's touch, his mate's acceptance, before gulping his sobs down and forcing his mind back to the daydream of Yuuri's presence with him in the mating nest.

As his own finger breached his hole, he gasped in relief. His Yuuri was above him, loving him, taking him, and making Victor into his own. He had no care anymore for the world, he only saw his omega's body above his own-molding him anew.

Victor wasn't trying to keep track, but he truly had lost even an idea of how many times he must have come throughout the course of the rut. His knot was finally softening, and his brow cooled with the sweat from his breaking fever. The bed was a soaking, reeking mess of fluids and he winced at the thought of Yakov ever seeing anything like this from his star pupil. He had completely lost control. Fucking lost it. Gone.

He checked his phone and groaned-only, at some point in the past hours, he had lost his voice. His voice came out as a hoarse, pitched cry and he reached a shaking hand for a water bottle on the bedside table to pour over his arid tongue.

His phone was flashing a low battery signal and he had dozens of missed calls and texts from Yakov in all caps-but it looked like his coach had come through for his sorry ass anyway. He had a hotel clean-up crew scheduled to come in the evening and the flight had been rescheduled to an early morning the next day.

Victor rubbed his dirty hands down his damp face and tried taking some deep breaths-Yakov and him needed to talk. His life had changed in the course of a day. Everything was different now. He needed to clean up and get his shit together to get back to Russia in the interim and then he would focus on finding his mate again. His head spun with low blood sugar and overwhelming-everything, he was still in sensory overload.

He could do this. He could be responsible and figure his new life out. He would have to be, for Yuuri.

 

 


	3. Interlude 2: Home to Russia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor flies home to Russia and thinks of Yuuri on the way. 
> 
> "In·ter·lude /ˈin(t)ərˌlo͞od/ noun: 1. an intervening period of time 2. something performed during a theater intermission"
> 
> Song:
> 
> Breathe Me by Sia

He must look like a loon. Well-he felt like a loon so he really didn't give a damn anymore, not at this point. Too much had passed for him to really care about appearances now.

Victor clutched his Makkachin tissue box cover closer to his chest and inhaled his mate's feint scent deeply before letting out a sigh. He had balled-up his dress shirt from the fateful banquet which still carried traces of Yuuri's scent on it and had tucked it into the tissue box cover he liked to have around at competitions. It was like a security blanket to him now-even if grabbing it so fretfully only reminded him of his mate's absence in his life in a very physical, solid manner.

He was on a plane back to Russia. Back to his singular family member-Makkachin-currently in the care of Yakov's ex-wife Lilia while he was away at competition, per usual. Unfortunately, that meant setting foot into his apartment which was still tainted from his most recent breakup.

He was a lot to take, he knew that. Really, he was...dramatic, at the best of times. It didn't help that his scent was frankly heavy and overwhelming to his dating partners even with masking soaps, body mists, and balms-it always smelled like slowly rotting roses to them. Truly, that could have been a blinking neon sign to him that obviously none of them had been his mate, or his destined partner-true mates, and true life companions, would be attracted to each other's scents like nothing else.

Then, there was also the fact that he was a rather sorry alpha. Sure, his rut came every month on cycle like it was supposed to. It had even come early this month, after interacting with Yuuri at the banquet-so his testosterone was kicking, really. He growled and produced venom like a good alpha should...but fuck it if his venom didn't smell like fucking flowers-roses. Really? He liked it, sure, but no one he had ever tried to attract had. What if-what if Yuuri didn't like it? If Yuuri really was his mate and had responded to his scent like Victor had responded to his, then why had the omega bailed on him? No number, no address, no further communications at all. Nothing.

Victor liked topping, but he liked bottoming even more at times. He had cut his hair after getting sick of being ridiculed for being too effeminate an alpha. He liked playing with his gender identity and roles but the public did not and at the risk of crumbling another relationship he had tried to give in and go with acceptable standards for alpha appearance and behavior. It hadn't worked. His relationship had ended anyway. He was too much-always too much. Too clingy. Too hyper. Too obsessive. It wasn't easy for people to get to know the man, the alpha, behind the icy mask of _'Living Legend Victor Nikiforov'_ and every time he let someone glimpse the real him, it ended things-horribly.

Even if Yuuri ever wanted him back...how could he share his broken shell of a self with that beautiful man? He had nothing to offer his mate-he was a failure and all the golden medals he had won made no difference to that truth. He had never even been able to successfully share a rut with anyone, not since-well, he shook his head, _no reason to ever relive that._ Victor shivered a bit and shifted in his seat, trying to rest his head against the window and soothe his nerves.

It also hadn't helped that he had been unable to feel-anything-for so long now. None of his partners had woken anything inside him either, much to their irritation. They gave up, they left him, they always left in the end. Everyone left him. Yuuri had left him.

Victor felt tears stinging his puffy eyes again and squeezed them shut hard, burying his fingers into the Makkachin plush tissue box cover, and sniffing pathetically.

_Yuuri didn't leave you. He is a figure skater just like you. He has responsibilities to uphold just like you do, Nikiforov, so get your shit together like your mate for God's sake. He is getting ready for Worlds, just like you. You'll see him there and have a chance to really talk._

With any luck he wouldn't lose his shit and go into an off-cycle rut, not if he started getting himself used to Yuuri's scent now. The alpha took another deep whiff of his hidden, crumpled dress shirt and felt his venom sacs and scent glands twinge uncomfortably. A flash of fire went through his throat, his gums, his chest, and the alpha stiffened before trying to force his body to relax into the sensations.

_That's right, Nikiforov, get used to this. You don't want to act the fool around your mate again because you can't handle his scent like a fucking wild teenager, just presented._

He whined quietly to himself and took his phone out, scrolling through pictures of the banquet that were both comforting and painful to see at the same time. He just couldn't shake the feeling that he had somehow messed things up.

Why hadn't Yuuri tried to contact him?

Had everything he felt been entirely one-sided? Was it really possible for him to have deluded himself so deeply?

Yes, yes it was.

He took a shaky breath and forced himself to focus. He would skate his love bare for his mate, his omega, and he wouldn't mess up when he saw him at Worlds. When he had skated to 'Stay Close to Me' (Aria-Stammi Vicino, Non Te Ne Andare) through this most recent season it had really been a plea for anyone to see-he was so utterly alone, so empty inside. He wanted someone, anyone to come save him-to help him save himself, really. It was a gold-winning routine but it was hollow and sour in Victor's heart, and up till now he hadn't had real inspiration beyond a nameless, faceless somebody, anybody.

Yuuri. Yuuri was his somebody. Yuuri was his everybody. He would perform for his mate only, always, and show the omega just how much he needed him in his life, how wanted and cherished he was to the alpha. Victor had already looked up everything he could find about the reclusive Japanese skater online. He had pestered his friends in the skating world with questions and had followed Yuuri's friend and social media addict, Phichit Chulanont, on all of his online accounts.

It wasn't just a biological thing. It wasn't just alpha and omega. Victor had really lost his heart, if he had a heart to lose anymore, well it was gone, to the hands of Yuuri. Sweet, courageous, beautiful Yuuri who made music with his body. Victor had looked up every recorded performance of Yuuri's that existed online and had downloaded all of the songs the omega had ever performed to onto a new playlist on his phone. He was in slight shock over never noticing this talented and beautiful competitor before, but then, he hadn't noticed anything or anyone in a while. The omega clearly had confidence issues, and some underlying technical skills to work on, but the raw talent and beauty in every movement was there-the Japanese skater was unlike any other performer Victor had seen.

Victor laid his head back in the seat, hugged his mate's scent close to him, and listened to his song for 'Stay Close to Me' on repeat. He daydreamed about skating the piece as a duet, a pair skate routine, with his mate and it soothed his ragged emotions. Yuuri would understand Victor's feelings if he didn't already have an inkling once he saw the alpha perform this for him at Worlds. Everything would be okay then, Victor just had to hang on until then.

He almost groaned when he remembered Worlds was in March, almost three months from now! But Yuuri had said he wanted Victor to be his skating coach (another sure sign the omega wanted the alpha around)! So Victor could use this time to get things ready for his upcoming move to Japan to be with Yuuri. It was weird that they wouldn't be in regular contact between now and then, right? But Victor hadn't figured out a way to directly contact the omega yet and was trying not to think too hard about how hurt he was that Yuuri hadn't made any effort that he knew of to contact him either.

_Worlds. It was all going to be okay then. They'd see each other again. He would show his true devotion to his mate. They would live happily ever after. The end._

Victor turned his music up a bit like he was trying to drown out his vicious internal monologue, his doubts, fears, anxieties-he felt like he was drowning. But at least it was something-he was feeling pain, yes, but it was still feeling. He sighed, he really needed to pull himself together.

_Yuuri. Worlds. Stay Close to Me. Stay close-always, Yuuri, always. Stay with me._


	4. Adagio 1: From Russia, To Japan, With Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A brief flashback to Victor's conversation with Yakov before his flight back to Russia and a visit with Yuuri who's practicing for Nationals back in Detroit. 
> 
> "A·da·gio /əˈdäjō,əˈdäjēō/ MUSIC adjective & adverb: a music term used for slow, sustained movements. The ‘adagio’ portion of ballet class may encompasses high développés above 90°, or partnering work"
> 
> Song: 
> 
> Northern Lights by Cider Sky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Please note: This chapter has some quasi-scientific/medical descriptions of anatomy and menstruation.

"Yakov, Yakov-it's him. I've found my mate, Yakov! I know it!" The flushed alpha rasped as best he could, after losing his voice in his rut, over the phone while his soiled hotel room was being cleaned by the poor maintenance staff-he would need to leave a large tip for them, he had made a disgusting mess. He could smell his reeking pheromones from down the hallway, once his door had been opened they had seeped out.  

Yakov grunted at him-that was encouraging.  

"Yakov, I went into a damned reactionary rut after the banquet! That's what that was! You know my rut day wasn't supposed to be until later this month-you put it on my calendar yourself since I can never remember," he laughed.  

"Victor, I've known you for most of your life, and you need to get your head out of the clouds and pull yourself together. Don't let some random omega mess up your golden record. If you start to focus on him and his shoddy skating you're going to lose your true focus and lose your gold. Now, I switched the ticket for tomorrow morning and I'll see you for practice the next day, on time, Vitya," was all Yakov had to say.  

The alpha frowned, "I was calling to discuss re-working my contract after Worlds, so I can be closer to Yuuri. I don't know how attached he is to his current coach, but he's got talent, Yakov, I know he does, I've been watching his videos since my rut ended. You could bring him on in Russia-" 

"Vitya. No. After a Prix performance like that, I wouldn't be surprised if he dropped his current coach. You don't even know if he's going to continue in skating. The reporters were all saying he was thinking retirement." 

"He's my mate, Yakov," Victor whispered, hating that his emotions were so overwrought, he was tearing up-this was ridiculous, Yakov was always a grump, he shouldn't be letting if get to him now.  

"You don't know that. He could have just been pre-heat, and everyone could see how drunk he was, not controlling his body at all. With how close to you he got, his hormones probably just overwhelmed you, that's all. If anything, you should be trying to make sure you aren't going to have anymore run-ins with him if he affects you like this, not at competitions. You're being dramatic, as always, Vitya," Yakov sighed, rubbing his puckered brow with his hands in exasperation.  

Victor was his star skater, and also his most high-maintenance pupil. The alpha was reckless, dramatic, and had his head in the clouds more often than not-but he was a genius on the ice. Now if only he could keep the excitable man's feet in his skates and on the ice and not wandering towards some nobody omega skater, that would be golden.  

Victor didn't say anything. He pressed his lips shut against the pitiful whine that wanted to slip out. He wouldn't prove Yakov correct in his accusations.  

"Listen, Vitya, I know you've had a string of bad partners," the gruff coach tried to gentle his voice to coddle the flighty, sensitive alpha on the line, "But you need to stop looking for your true mate so hard and let them find you. If you stopped jumping in with every person that smelled halfway good to you then maybe-" 

"Stop it, Yakov! I-I don't want to talk about-that-right now," Victor couldn’t help himself, he actually let out a whine.  

The coach cleared his throat, "Alright, I'm sorry, Vitya. I didn't mean to upset you. Just, come home to Russia and we'll work on cleaning up your free skate for Nationals. We can talk about what you want to do next season, what kind of theme you want to go with, after Worlds. Come on, Makkachin is waiting for you." Yakov held back a heavy sigh, _the things he did for his skaters with glass hearts_.  

Victor felt his stare glaze over and his hand almost felt numb with how cold his body had gotten, "I-I want to make it to Worlds," he said quietly.  

"Alright, we can do that. Just make sure you get on that flight on time and come home tomorrow." 

Victor had a bad habit of forgetting-everything, especially times and schedules.  

"Can we..." Victor took a breath, held it for a second, and released, "Can we talk about getting Yuuri to Russia after Worlds? If he was having pre-heat symptoms during the Grand Prix Final then maybe that's why he skated so bad and he'll be better at Worlds." 

"We can see, Vitya. Just get on that plane." The coach shook his head and frowned, he really should have just switched his ticket to stay behind with Victor to make sure the hapless alpha got on the damned flight on time, but he needed to stay with Yuri and Mila to chaperone them as they still weren't legal adults, though they both acted like adults more than Victor did half the time.  

"I'll remember," Victor assured before biting his lip, "Um-Yakov?" 

"What, Vitya?" 

"Call me when I need to leave for the airport tomorrow morning?" 

"...Of course." 

"Poka _(Bye)_ , Yakov."  

"Skoro uvidimsya _(See you soon)_ , Vitya."  

*~~~* 

"Yuuri, I think we should call it a day," Celestino tactfully waved the Japanese omega over to the side of the rink.  

Yuuri blinked, once, twice, sniffled and nearly jumped when he looked down to the ice beneath his skates and saw a drop of blood on the white surface, soaking into the shavings from the cuts his skates had made.  

He felt a sharp twinge in his pelvis and a spike of heat jolted up his lower back-well, early menstruation following an early heat-he shouldn't be so surprised. His skating had been off since his failure at the Grand Prix Final so his many flubs today during practice hadn't clued him in like usual to his body's less than ideal state of being.  

Ugh. He could feel his ears heating as he blushed-even thinking about the disaster that was his entire experience at the Grand Prix Final still made him nauseous with anxiety, embarrassment...sadness.  

Vicchan. Then finally seeing his idol, Victor Nikiforov, skating on the actual ice he would put his skates onto in the same day, had been so emotionally overwhelming. And he had messed up. Spectacularly.  

After all that, he had woken the day after the banquet Celestino had forced him to go to, feeling hungover and shockingly about to start a heat? He didn't remember anything from the night before, only that Celestino had told him he had gotten drunk and that he had to pull Yuuri out from the hall and help him to his bed in the hotel. He knew he had a tendency to get blackout drunk and apparently do ridiculous things if Phichit's Instagram was any sort of record to go by, but he hadn't done that in a while. He just hadn't wanted to be at that banquet at all, around his idol after crashing and burning during his one chance to skate for Victor in person.  

He had been having monthly heats and menstruating since he had presented late around 19. He had thought he was a beta like his sister and both of his parents, but apparently he was just a late blooming male omega. Though male omegas had cloacas where a beta, alpha, or female omega's rectum would be, there was really no way of telling externally if it was in fact a cloaca and not a rectum outside of a male omega's mating cycle when it became apparent with the production of slick and menstrual blood. Unless a family had a great concern, there was no need to x-ray or ultrasound to detect a uterus or different internal anatomy until a male omega presented naturally.  

Even blood tests could be unreliable until their bodies went through a presentation-so it really had been a surprise for Yuuri's family when he presented. Most male omegas presented between ages 16-18 but he had presented at 19. He was always a oddball. Always messing up. In everything, apparently.  

And okay, like he really needed the menstruation week after the one-day miserableness that was a heat to remind him how utterly out of control his body was to him twice a month and how upset his body was that he hadn't conceived a baby during his heat day? It's like his uterus was punishing him for not getting knocked up by ripping his insides apart.  

It was difficult enough to have to hope for all the competitions he was in to fall outside of his heat and menstruation days. It's not like make-ups were allowed just because you were on your period. The ISU had strict rules regarding alpha and omega mating cycles. If an alpha or omega  were to experience a heat or rut on the day-of a competition, and didn't catch it in time to pick up a one-day emergency suppresant (which wasn't even available over the counter in pharmacies in some countries), then they could skate their short and free programs in one day, the second day of the competition, with documentation from a doctor, of course. And who wanted to go through that hassle, drama, and embarrassment? Generally in a foreign country, on top of it all.  

It's not like any performed well after a day of wrecking their bodies though-to be honest, but it was better than no exceptions, like what happened to other athletes who had team matches and would just have to miss their matches entirely, no make-ups.  

For menstruation? You were out of luck. It apparently wasn't considered enough of an impairment to impede a skater from competing. Well, Yuuri had some choice words for whomever had decided that, but that was neither here nor there at the moment.  

Ever since he had been having heats, he had only ever thought of one individual-one alpha-Victor Nikiforov. It's like his body was completely convinced Victor was Yuuri's mate, his one and only, just because he had idolized him since childhood and had pictures of him all around his room and-okay. He was-a little-obsessed with the alpha. But, he had never really thought of Victor in a sexual manner, had never really thought of anyone in a sexual manner, until his heats had started.  

He had no idea his obsessive focus on the alpha would actually affect him in-person, as far as his mating cycles went. But, well, here he was. He had woken up the day after the banquet, hungover, and shockingly, in a heat. His heat hadn't been supposed to arrive for two weeks later, but it had been triggered by something-someone-and had come early.  

In retrospect, it was probably his dumb body and hormones focusing on his brief glimpses of Victor in-person and freaking out, thinking his mate had arrived. But that was impossible, not only was Victor lightyears out of Yuuri's league, he didn't even know what the alpha smelled like. You couldn't exactly know who your true mate was unless you knew you were scent compatible. He had read on some online chat forums that Victor smelled like flowers, but he didn't know how much he trusted those shady sources.  

Yuuri had talked with Celestino before the GPF, knowing his heat was coming in two weeks but wanting to be extra careful-he would be around Victor after all-he had hoped; and the Italian coach had assured him that if somehow his heat was triggered before an event, he always came prepared for his students with emergency suppressants and a switchable travel ticket.  

Well, Yuuri hadn't needed the emergency suppressants because his heat had started the day after the banquet, after the entire competition was over with, but Celestino had quietly re-booked their plane tickets after knocking on Yuuri's door to rouse him before heading to the airport and hearing only muffled groans in response. He had an inkling, Yuuri's pheremones had been out of control when he put the drunk omega to bed the night before, but he had thought at the time it was his drunkenness lowering his control over his bodily inhibitions.  

Yuuri hadn't spoken with Celestino about it since they had gotten back to Detroit. He never wanted to speak about his mating cycles at all if he could help it, with anyone. It was emberassing enough to lose control like that, let alone to have to talk to anyone about it afterwards. He had no idea why his heat had come so early, but he could only assume it was the stress of everything messing with his hormones.  

There could be no other possibility-nope-and he refused to entertain any other thoughts on the matter of what caused his early heat. Stress. He had been so stressed. He had even experienced an anxiety attack after the free skate, and his anxiety medications had seemingly done nothing to help. The emergency medication he had for anxiety attacks just put him to sleep, really, so he hadn't been able to take that to see if it would do anything.  

Yuuri put his skate guards on and stepped off the ice. Maybe he would do alright in Nationals? Probably not. He sighed and tried to meet Celestino's concerned gaze.  

"I'll be back for practice tomorrow," he mumbled.  

He shuffled away before waiting to see if the Italian beta would say anything else and searched his bag for some acetaminophen and his menstrual cup. It was such a pain to be a male omega, the one cloaca they had for all purposes-breeding, defecating, menstruating-was completely inconvenient if you wanted to use anything aside from a pad to handle your period. But, well, it was what it was.  

Male omegas weren't exactly common, the latest census of medical facilities around the world had estimated one male omega for every 200 female omegas. So it's not like companies were lining up to design products that would cater to the small percentage of the population that had cloacas and not more common vaginal openings or rectums.  

Now, he would be going back to the small dorm he inhabited and maybe masturbate to alleviate some of his cramps. He winced at that errant thought and shook his head as he walked up the steps towards his floor of the training facility housing building. He was so pathetic and embarrassing. He was in love with-no, no he was obsessed, unhealthily so, with-Victor Nikiforov. He had like zero chances of ever making anything happen with his supposed interest because for one thing he was a male omega and nobody really liked that gender, unless they were looking for an actual honest-to-God mate and thought they might be unlucky enough to have a male omega as a true mate. And he could never be Victor's mate, the idea was laughable. He had nothing to offer any mate let alone a living legend skater.  

Yet despite all this, he knew, he just knew, that no matter how hard he tried to stop it, when his toes were curling and the tears were pricking his eyes, just as he was about to gush all over his silicone dildo, he would see Victor's face behind his closed eyelids. Victor's face and no one else's-ever. He was pathetic. And disgusting. And a failure. He was nothing.  

The omega slumped his posture and fished through his bag for his keys as he approached his door, before stumbling as he almost stepped onto a thin, flat box laying innocuously on his (not hilarious) Japanese welcome mat, blearing a cheery "Ohayou!!!" to everyone who came upon it, courtesy of Phichit of course. That's odd, the box seemed to be from a delivery florist company and it was definitely addressed to him, but who would ever send him flowers? 


	5. Adagio 2: Stay Close to Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri masturbates and reminisces on his most recent heat. Victor awaits Yuuri's response to the flowers he sent.
> 
> "A·da·gio /əˈdäjō,əˈdäjēō/ MUSIC adjective & adverb: a music term used for slow, sustained movements. The ‘adagio’ portion of ballet class may encompasses high développés above 90°, or partnering work"
> 
> Songs:
> 
> Honey by TRACE  
> Aria (Stammi Vicino, Non Te Ne Andare) by Ensemble FOVE

_'I never did get your number at the banquet, but here's mine: xxx-xxx-xxxx_  

 _I know you're probably busy_ _preparing_ _for Nationals and then Worlds like me,_  

 _but I wanted you to know I was thinking of you._  

 _I miss you._ _I can't wait to see you at Worlds,_  

 _and then maybe we can figure things out_ _for the future?_  

 _Always yours, xoxoxo'_  

Yuuri squinted at the note again in utter confusion. Who on earth was this? Whomever had sent the flowers had the florist type up that message and put it under the arrangement in a generic card. There was no return address or any indication of who had sent the flowers to him. Obviously the person was under the impression Yuuri could figure out who it was just by their message alone, but Yuuri had no recollection of much of the banquet at all and didn't remember meeting anyone new there, and certainly not anyone he would be talking about his future with? His future in what regard, too?  

This person's message was way too familiar for Yuuri's comfort. He had no idea what he had done while blacked out but maybe he didn't want to remember if this was any consequence of that.  

Was it another skater? They had mentioned preparing for competitions? But he hadn't connected with any of the other skaters in this regard to his memory-which, alright, was shoddy in this scenario-but still, he would have remembered meeting someone who sent a message this familiar to him, right?  

Perhaps it was a reporter? Or some crazy fan had gotten into the banquet and was trying to score tickets from him or something?  

Yuuri shook his head and put the note down. Well, he wouldn’t be calling that number, that was for sure. He didn't want to contact some crazy person who thought they would be discussing anything about his future with them. He would have to be on his guard at future competitions and he re-vowed to never drink at a public dinner like a post-competition banquet ever again-who knew what he would do next time?  

Should he tell Celestino? Well-he really didn't want to bring up anything pertaining to the Grand Prix Final-ever. So, no, then.  

He tossed the box and the note with it into the trash can under his desk. The flowers were more difficult. He had been sent a flower crown made of blue roses with the note.  

If he was being honest with himself, which wasn't often, the only person this particular color of rose made him think of was Victor Nikiforov. After one of his more famous wins when Yuuri was younger, Victor had been crowned in blue roses while carrying a matching bouquet of them.  

Did whoever sent these somehow know of his odd obsession with Victor?  

He shivered-God he hoped not.  

He felt another cramp roll through him and groaned. He needed to get into bed.  

He didn't know who had sent the flowers or the mysterious message and he didn't want to find out, the whole thing creeped him out-a lot. But...he pressed the roses to his lips, and inhaled deeply-scenting the heady and rich fragrance.  

He felt his blush pool in his cheeks and warm his neck and ears, the scent of roses had followed his memories since his early heat after the banquet and he didn't know why. During his heat, he got a bit hazy, but he could remember focusing in on the scent of roses on his dirty clothes from the banquet. Since then, he swore every time he had been stressed or anxious, he had tried to conjure the scent of roses once more to his mind, he could almost smell them-soothing him, focusing him, stitching up his ragged edges.  

This was an entirely new development in his life and he really didn't want to examine or think on it too deeply. He just tried to focus on skating and finishing his final year of school up so he could graduate.  

But these roses were right here, beautifully delivered to him, and reminding him so strongly of Victor. He might as well-  

Yuuri undressed and turned his lights off except for a small, dim lamp. He carried the roses with him to his bed and tucked them securely next to his pillow. The omega rolled over and grabbed the balled-up blanket he liked to cuddle, it was, embarrassingly enough, a promotional item of Victor Nikiforov's that had come out many years ago that he had bought online as soon as he had seen it. It was a small, lap-sized microfleece blanket that had an image of Victor mid-quad on the ice.  

He cuddled the blanket close, pushing it up over his ears to muffle noises from outside his tiny dorm and remind him soothingly of being in his mating nest-secure, safe, warm, comfort-before pulling up his phone's music app and playing Victor's latest free skate program song, 'Stay Close to Me' and placing it on repeat, softly in the background.  

The omega turned his head back towards the roses and inhaled deeply before letting out a deep breath and trying to relax his aching body.  

One day, he would skate Victor's free skate program himself, perfectly. One day, he would show Victor he was worthy of being on the same ice as him. One day, one day- 

He only wished the look of intense longing and near sadness on Victor's face was for him, but he knew that would never be true. It didn't hurt to daydream though- 

Yuuri pushed his hand down towards his groin, brushing his fingers lightly against his already half-erect dick and feeling it jump and pulse in his hand. His hole twitched and he could smell some of his sweet slick had seeped out past the barrier of the menstrual cup.  

The omega whined and pushed his lips against the soft, soft rose petals-rubbing them back and forth over the fragile flowers and feeling the gentle texture of the rose's furls soothe his sensibilities. He pitched his whining to a keen before exhaling a sharp gasp as his hand rubbed over his slit, smearing pre-ejaculate around on his cockhead.  

 _Roses. Rose petals falling on him like velvet_ _rain_ _drops_ _. Roses petting over his body like feathered brushes. Victor, his true mate, kneeling for him and kissing his erection, rubbing his thighs and abdomen in lustful adoration._  

Yuuri groaned and felt a lick of heat move through him-he remembered how vivid his most recent heat had been. Perhaps because something had triggered it early, but it was the most intense heat he had ever experienced.  

 _He pushed his cock into his alpha's mouth, and cried out as Victor's fingers ran up the back of his body, smoothing and rubbing around his plush hips and curves. His mate pushed his fingers into Yuuri's body and a rush of slick squirted out of his stretched hole, eagerly greeting the alpha's entry. The omega whined and curled into the side of their mating nest, woven of soft blankets, pillows, and rose-scented clothing. His nose traced the_ _faint_ _scent of roses and he nuzzled deeper into the nest, rolling and rubbing his body in his mate's scent._  

Yuuri was panting now, swallowing deep lungfuls of the fragrant roses by his face while his hand worked his erection in time to Victor's beautiful music. As the song hit one of the crescendos he moaned out loud as his dick twitched and throbbed for release.  

 _His scent glands burned, aching and full but still just leaking the scent of apples-his mate hadn't marked him with his alpha venom to permanently fuse their scents together. The omega cried and thrust his cock into his fisted hands, wet with his own slick, while his hole puckered and spasmed for something to fill it. But he was empty, so empty, and he had no mate with him in the nest to fill him, to fulfill him._  

He arched his back off the bed and buried his face against the soft fleece of Victor's blanket, the smell of roses soaking in the air, while he came all over his hands, just as the music hit the final peak.  

 _His slick had soaked the nest and the omega preened happily in the damp fabrics, giddy with the scent of roses on the clothing his nose was buried in. He had balled up one of the shirt's sleeves and was sucking on it, tasting the lingering aroma in the fabric._ _He_ _had one_ _fist_ _tucked into his hole, his mate's knot was holding him together, and his other hand was still_ _stroking_ _his cock that just refused to go down even after countless orgasms. But he cooed happily around the mouthful of fabric scented with his mate's rosy smell, he felt his alpha's presence all around him and happiness welled_ _in his chest like a warm balloon._  

 _His alpha hadn't abandoned him, he had left his omega mate with his scent_ _after all_ _. His alpha would find him, they were true mates._  

 _The omega cuddled into the side of his mating nest, thinking blearily that it was a good nest to attract his mate to him, he had woven it with care, and muffled his moaning in the scented fabric he was still sucking on. He pulled his fist out of his hole and sighed as his pucker gaped, spasming, and more slick gushed out into the nest-all the better to attract his true mate to him from_ _where ever_ _he had gone._  

 _He whined, his mate would return soon, right?_  

 _Stay Close to Me. Stay close-always, Victor_ _, always. Stay with me._  

Yuuri blinked and tried to calm his breathing down, even the hazy flashbacks he did have of his heat were so intense, they made masturbating since then interesting. He looked over to the rose crown he had mashed on one side with all of his nuzzling and carefully placed it on his bedside table, he would have to consider saving it. It reminded him of Victor, after all, so what harm could come from saving it? It's not like the creep who had sent it to him would know if he kept it or not.  

He turned his music off and buried himself under Victor's blanket, cuddling the soft fleece against his face, he should at least try to get some sleep now that his cramps had calmed down a bit, so he would be in better shape for practice tomorrow.  

*~~~* 

Victor had been checking his email obsessively whenever he could manage to catch a break from the rink and Yakov's yelling to see if the flowers he had ordered for Yuuri had been delivered yet. He couldn't find the omega's number but did find the address of the training facility he was staying at in the United States and had sent flowers with his phone number in the message in the hopes that Yuuri had simply not contacted him yet because he didn't know how. He had chosen a crown of blue roses, which if Yuuri had followed his career at all, he'd understand the reference and would probably find it amusing. The omega was certainly his king, and he deserved to be showered in crowns of roses.  

He couldn’t wait until Yuuri called or texted him! He was so glad he had thought of this! Now he wouldn't have to wait until Worlds to speak to his mate~ 

Yakov yelled at him to get back on the ice and the alpha sighed before putting his phone back in his bag and heading back towards the rink. He'd talk to Yuuri soon and everything would be alright. 


	6. Aria 1: Poodles in Roses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor tries to court Yuuri again, unsuccessfully. He goes to Worlds and Yuuri isn't there. 
> 
> "A·ri·a /ˈärēə/ MUSIC noun: a long, accompanied song for a solo voice, typically one in an opera or oratorio" 
> 
> Song:
> 
> Blackbird by Dido

_'I saw Nationals didn't go well for you, but I know_ _you've got golden talent in you, love. I've seen it in_   _the music your body makes as you dance along the ice._ _We can talk about your future more at Worlds._ _I think_   _you would do really well with a change of scenery from Detroit._ _How does Russia sound ;)_

 _But really, I miss you so much, it hurts!_ _I can't wait to see you in person_ _again, darling~_ _We can dance the night away again after_ _the competition is over._  

 _Did you get the blue roses_ _I sent you?_ _Blue because I dream of you often, and of course,_   _blue is one of my signature colors, after all~_  

 _I never did hear from you,_ _but I know you were_ _busy training!_ _I hope you enjoy these roses, my dearest, yellow and orange_ _because oh, how you fascinate me and bring me the most_   _profound joy!_ _If you cannot call or text me, dear,_ _how about you write me_ _back if you have time?_ _I miss you so much, darling~_  

 _My email is:_[ _PoodlesInRoses_ _@xxxxx.com_](mailto:PoodlesInRoses@xxxxx.com) 

 _All my love, xoxoxo'_   

*~~~* 

Worlds was steadily approaching and Victor still hadn't heard a peep from Yuuri. It was disheartening to say the least-depressing was closer to the truth of what he felt as the days dragged by without a word from his mate. He tried to not obsessively check his phone or email so often anymore, always feeling that pang of disappointment when he saw whatever message notification he had received was not from Yuuri.  

Maybe he really had deluded himself after all. It had been so long since they had seen each other, since they had spoken. He had received no response from the omega after sending the crown of blue roses about two weeks after their fateful encounter at the banquet post-Grand Prix Final. Maybe Yuuri hadn't gotten them? It was the only explanation that didn't make his heart ache in his chest.  

He sent more roses with another, longer, message this time. Praying to any deity that would listen for his mate to bless him with a response. He used a different florist this time, just in case, and made sure to check the tracking alerts on the delivery frequently-if not obsessively; he really should get a grip. But reason and sense eluded him at the best of times, and when his mate was involved? Well, Yakov should just be glad he only had Victor's distraction and mooning about to complain about, and that the lovesick alpha hadn't up and flown off to Detroit to see the omega on a whim-something he had been talked out of doing many, many times by now.  

 _'Vitya, you'll just scare him away if he really is interested in you with all this attention. Stop focusing on that omega and get your head in the game or you'll lose your golden streak and sponsors while you're at it!'_  

Yet, aside from following any social media he could regarding the reclusive Japanese skater, and the blue roses, he hadn't tried to contact Yuuri at all over the time since sending the second floral delivery. He did want to give the omega some space if that's what he needed to figure his feelings out or maybe, hopefully-God, he prayed so-get himself ready for a move nearer to Victor, his mate!  

Victor's ruts had been, frankly, hellish since the reactionary-rut he had experienced after the banquet. He left each one feeling battered and haggard, like his soul was being torn into pieces without his mate there beside him. He didn't even need the sex, he didn't need any physical contact, really, if only his Yuuri would just spare him a small hint that he even felt some inkling of want for Victor in return, it would buyou his drowning heart until they could be together again.  

He had spent his last rut sobbing into his lonely nest more than he had spent any time masturbating, and it was really taking a truly negative toll on his body. If he didn't orgasm while his knot was swollen, it was extremely painful and could lead to negative after-effects like body aches, fevers, nausea, hot flashes, and a shorter temper. But he just couldn’t bring himself to get lost in his feverish fantasies of his mate when he was pining for him so harshly. He couldn’t remember who or what he thought of during his ruts before meeting Yuuri, but the omega had wrecked his body for anyone else without ever even touching him in any sexual way. 

He knew he was clingy. He knew he was too much. He was honestly terrified of pushing Yuuri away. But he just-he needed his mate-on an instinctual, primal level, everything in his body cried out for the omega. The longer he was away from Yuuri his nerves felt like they were on fire and the horrible sensation of wrongness never left.   

Didn't Yuuri feel even a little of this terrible longing to be near to his mate?  

Unless-Victor had entirely deluded himself and all of this was hopelessly one-sided... 

The doubts, the insecurities, they gnawed at his frayed sensibilities relentlessly.  

Worlds was soon, so soon. He just had to make it to Worlds and he would see his Yuuri again and they could talk everything out. And who knew? Maybe he would even hear from the omega before then, if he emailed him after receiving his bright gift of yellow and orange roses.  

*~~~* 

 _He was alone. Cold and alone. Always alone._  

Yuuri hadn't called, texted, emailed, or in any other way tried to communicate with Victor. And he hadn't shown up at Worlds. Even if he wasn't going to be in the competitor lineup, Victor had thought-foolishly hoped-that the omega would make an appearance if for nothing else than to scope out the future competition and do some networking.  

Victor was out on the ice, alone, about to skate his heart rending solo free skate to 'Stay Close to Me', and Yuuri wasn't there, wasn't anywhere near, and he had no idea if he would ever even see the omega again with how he had seemingly disappeared from the skating world as far as social media was concerned.  

The golden blades on his feet felt like iron weights, dragging him down to drown under the ice he loved to dance upon. He tasted ashes and his eyes burned with unshed tears as he continuously gulped around the venom his hormones were feeding an over-production of, demanding he claim his mate and end his torment. But he couldn’t claim his mate. His mate wasn't here. His mate maybe wasn't even his mate, after all. How could his true mate leave him like this? How could he reject him so cruelly? And for nothing he could think of he had done to deserve such treatment-he had wrecked his fevered mind trying to figure it all out, really.  

The alpha was completely falling apart and he couldn't seem to pull any semblance of togetherness from his sorrowful state. Yakov had tried to help, to at least encourage the dramatic alpha to keep in together long enough to win gold and take a break before preparing for the next season.  

 _'Clearly this Yuuri isn't interested, Vitya. Let's win gold, get back home to Russia, and you'll come back next season stronger than before. Look at_ _Georgi_ _, he's doing fine skating with his theme of heartbreak.'_  

But Victor wasn't having it. He wasn't Georgi. And if Yakov was making a joke at his expense, it would always be too damn soon where this topic was concerned.  

He knew he was dramatic, he couldn’t go a week without someone chiding him for his flare, but the rejection of a true mate was life-ending. He didn't know how to pick himself back up from the shambles of what had been before.  _Before Yuuri. There was no before Yuuri, and there would be no after._  

He couldn’t even manage a fake smile for the cameras. He got into his starting pose as the music came on over the speakers and the audience quieted in anticipation of another genius performance by the golden living legend Victor Nikiforov.  _And it all meant nothing to him. Gold was nothing, skating was nothing, life was nothing without_ _Yuuri_ _in it._  

It was the ultimate rejection, and he wouldn't recover.  

He skated his soul bare, tore his heart open for all to see with his golden skates, and only just kept himself from crying during his pathetic plea for his mate through his performance.  

The medal he won, golden, of course, was meaningless.  

 _Yuuri hadn't come. Yuuri didn't want him. His mate didn't want him._  

_What did he have left?_


	7. Aria 2: Starry Eyed Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christophe tries to cheer Victor up unsuccessfully. Victor sees an interesting video of Yuuri performing his free skate program from the most recent season and leaves for Japan. 
> 
> "A·ri·a /ˈärēə/ MUSIC noun: a long, accompanied song for a solo voice, typically one in an opera or oratorio"
> 
> Songs:
> 
> Smile by Vitamin C  
> Starry Eyed Surprise by Paul Oakenfold  
> Get Mine, Get Yours by Christina Aguilera  
> I Follow Rivers by Lykke Li

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Please note: I've updated the tags to include the relationship between Christophe and Victor. They do not have a romantic relationship featured in this story. Their sexual encounter in this chapter is used only as a plot device. Victor and Yuuri will remain the focus in this story going forward. 
> 
> The chapter summary is: Christophe tries to cheer Victor up by taking him clubbing, drinking, and dancing and they end up in bed together. Victor misses Yuuri, is sad, and cries. The chapter ends with Victor seeing Yuuri's video skating his free program 'Stay Close to Me'.

_He was dizzy, so, so dizzy. Everything was spinning. His head, the room, the face swimming in front of him, the body on top of him-Victor moaned weakly and canted his hips up, up, up towards the pleasure spreading through his groin as his lover thrust into him in a forceful rhythm, shaking the bed against the wall. Yuuri, Yuuri~_  

Christophe had smelt the distress on his friend from the podium, he hadn't even been trying to mask it for God's sake, and sternly informed Victor that they would be spending the evening clubbing to get him the fuck over whatever it was that was weighing so heavily on him.  

"You want an omega? We'll fucking find you one! You're Victor fucking Nikiforov, man, you can have anyone!" 

"Until they get to know the real me and take off," the alpha muttered despondently, he wasn't having any of Christophe's overbearing positivity at the moment.  

Christophe just shook his head and tugged the grumpy Russian along, nothing a night of alcohol, dancing, and some feel-good sex between friends wouldn’t fix.  

They somehow ended up at a bizarre 24-hour roller rink which the Swiss skater found  _hilarious_. They put rented rollerblades on their bruised, bloody, and broken feet and raced each other in dizzy laps around the rink to random pop music, blaring over the empty hall.  

Christophe ended their time at the roller rink by grabbing Victor's hands and spinning them in a spiral, round and round, while they both laughed-the larger alpha finally pleased he could crack a smile and even a laugh out of his glum friend-until they let go and fell onto their asses sharply, but still giggling away. It's not like they hadn't taken a few falls in their time after all these years of skating.  

Christophe crawled over to Victor on his knees and groaned when he saw the silver alpha was back to not-smiling, just laying on the scratched floor and staring at the fluorescent lights in the ceiling tiles distantly.  

"Come on, babe~smile!"  

He grabbed the fair alpha's thin cheeks and pinched, trying to stretch his friend's face into a semblance of a smile as Victor swatted at his hands and tried to scoot himself away from Christophe.  

The Swiss man started singing the old pop song "Smile" by Vitamin C, yelling to be heard over the music still playing in the building-was that Paul Oakenfold playing? Victor pushed his friend away again before getting back to his feet.  

"Put a smile on your fa-a-ace~" 

"Christophe!"  

"Victor?" 

"Did you pregame our night already at the hotel bar?" The Russian scoffed, unamused at his friend's exuberance while he was feeling so put out.  

"I'm just trying to cheer you up, babe!" Christophe smiled happily at his friend, pulling on his hand after he got back to his own feet and leading them both over to the side wall so they could take their rollerblades off and get to the next part of the night: alcohol and dancing.   

 _The music pulsed around them and Victor thought he might be sick if his giddy companion tried to shove another drink in his hand._  

Victor had turned away from every single alpha, omega, and beta that tried to approach him on the dance floor-except for Christophe, whom he was implicitly comfortable with, having had the other man's hands all over his body more times than he cared to remember.  

Christophe's large, fleshy hands were warm and nearing possessive as they gripped the slimmer alpha's hips to him and rocked them both in time with the beat of the music. Victor threw his head back and tried to smile as he saw hundreds of bubbles floating through the fanned-in air inside the club, apparently their cute idea of trying to liven things up. He grimaced at best and sunk back into Christophe's arms, sighing and trying to find any comfort in the embrace of his friend-but it just wasn't Yuuri.  

Christophe pulled Victor with him off the dance floor and over to the bar, yelling, "Time for body shots~" on the way while the silver-haired alpha groaned in annoyance and exhaustion.  

But Christophe didn't stop. He had seen his friend through several bad breakups and this wasn't even really a breakup. He had watched that Japanese skater dance drunk off his ass with Victor at the banquet in December and then his friend told him he was mooning over the omega because he hadn't heard from him since? The lovelorn alpha had even tried sending the omega flowers, twice, with romantic messages, and nothing-no response.  

Victor was going to be fine, if Christophe had anything to say about it. Yuuri couldn't possibly be Victor's true mate anyway, or whatever it was the alpha kept babbling about interspersed with sad mumbling in Russian. If the kid really was Victor's true mate then he wouldn't have been able to go so long without contacting the alpha back, he'd miss him too much, it would be painful in intensity.  

Christophe laid Victor out on the bar counter like the gorgeous silver platter he was, and prepared his feast: a double shot of tequila on the countertop, a juicy slice of lime in Victor's lovely, heart-shaped mouth, peeking suggestively from between his fair, parted lips, and a trail of salt from the man's navel, following his silver happy trail down into his tight pants which the Swiss skater had unceremoniously unzipped for the occasion. God, licking that stripe down Victor's firm pelvis had almost been Christophe's undoing, but he collected himself, trailed the salt down his friend's body in the remaining trail of saliva from his ministrations, and got ready to take his shot.  

He bent over his friend and licked the salt back up from where he had sprinkled it, taking the time to suck on Victor's fair flesh at the end of the trail, right where his silver curls starting poking out from the part in his zipper- _no underwear, baby, naughty~_  When Christophe bent to bite the lime wedge from between Victor's lips, he paused for a second, kissing the mopey alpha in a quick peck, a question more than anything-it had been a while since they had hooked up, was it still okay? 

Victor stared and stared, blinking when his friend pulled his lips off his mouth, after what felt like an eternity of him trying to hold still from squirming while his friend licked his body as he pleased, before pressing their lips together just briefly.  _All he could see was Yuuri. All he could hear, feel, smell, was Yuuri. Yuuri. He wanted Yuuri._  

 _But Yuuri wasn't here. Christophe was here. Christophe could make him forget-even for just one night._  

Victor leaned up on his elbows and pressed their lips together again, the slight, salty tang left on Christophe's lips making him think of heated blow jobs in closets, dressing rooms, and bathroom stalls before competitions or during banquets in the past-nights of passionate sex to follow.  

The other alpha smelled completely different from Yuuri's omega, sweet, sweet smell. He even smelled quite different from Victor's floral, but pungent scent. Christophe smelled like pine trees, frigid and fresh.  

Victor shut his eyes, not wanting to see the kind, hazel eyes and golden curls before him-no, he wanted warm, brown eyes and silky, onyx hair.  

"Make me forget, Christophe, please," Victor whined quietly, arching up to nip at the larger alpha's ear petulantly.  

"Now that, I can do, baby. I'll make you forget your own name," the larger alpha growled back at his silver friend, before scooping him up in his arms off the bar counter and making their way to the exit. Victor's pants were still mostly undone, you could see his pubic curls, silver in the club lights, and his shirt was pushed up above his navel but fuck the camera phones, the reporters, the gawkers-it had been much too long since Christophe had warmed a chilly night with the beautiful alpha in his arms.  

 _Stars were winking and dancing before his eyes. Everything was shimmering and sparkling, dancing and swaying._   

Victor couldn’t catch his breath, between his panting and moaning-Christophe made it his mission to pull as many sounds from his friend's lips as he could, grinning at each pleasured cry that reached his ears.  

Victor gasped and moaned again, shamelessly loud, while he grabbed his knees to spread his legs shamelessly wider for his lover. Christophe had slicked up three of his fingers and had buried them into Victor's hole, while he was sucking marks all up and down the silver alpha's trembling thighs.  

He pressed against Victor's prostate gland and the silver alpha keened and wailed to the ceiling, jolting as fiery bursts of sensation moved through his body.  

"That's right baby, relax on my hands, you don't have to think about anything at all," Christophe soothed, whispering over Victor's luminescent skin, damp with sweat and slightly reflective in the dim light of his hotel room.  

"Fuck me, Sugar! Yuri, Yuri YA lyublyu tebya~ _(Yuuri, Yuuri I love you~)_ " Victor found himself moaning out between his panting breaths, helplessly drawn into the waves of pleasure Christophe was visiting upon his body.  

"What's my name, baby?" Christophe growled, biting at Victor's pale collarbone and sucking a purple mark into the flesh, "That's all you should know, Vitya, my name, nothing else, just forget-" 

Victor arched his back, his knees shook where he held them, and he screamed Christophe's name as tears ran down his face. The Swiss alpha pulled his fingers from Victor and cooed when the Russian whimpered at the loss of sensation, his hole gaping and spasming to be filled, the edges puffy, pink, and slick-ready to be ruined on Christophe's thick girth.  

Christophe eased his way in and Victor practically howled as he was fucked into. His friend bent him near in half and set up a punishing pace. His cock wasn't the longest Victor had ever had but it was certainly the widest around, he could feel his muscles stretching taught around the intrusion as sharp spikes of pain burst in his hips and pelvis. Victor groaned, more in pain than pleasure at this point, and squeezed his eyes shut- _Yuuri, Yuuri, Yuuri, my love, Yuuri~_  

Christophe petted his warm hand on Victor's thigh comfortingly, and slowed his pace to give the other alpha a minute to adjust, before he shifted his hips and brought sounds of pleasure from the silver alpha's beautiful, heart-shaped mouth once more.  

"That's it, Vitya. Don't you love my cock tearing you apart? Your ass is mine, baby," Christophe growled, bending the flexible Russian even further so he could growl and bite at his neck-far, far below his scent gland, they were not scent compatible at all, and Victor's rosy scent could give him headaches if he got the other alpha's oily, scented pheromones anywhere near his mouth.  

"Christophe, please!" Victor cried, clenching his teeth and grinding them as he noticed with despair his fangs hadn't even tried to extend, his knot was firmly subdued, though his cock was fully erect-his body didn't even work right without Yuuri.  

His lover grabbed his long cock in hand, kind enough to not comment on the lack of any swelling or knot around the base though they'd been fucking long enough now that it should have made an appearance, and started jerking Victor to the rhythm of his thrusts.  

Victor's abused hole was burning, even with the lube and the stretching, his fangs were numb in his gums, no venom dripped onto his tongue, and all he could smell were pine trees. His hardness was from his flighty fantasies of Yuuri, before he realized who he was thinking about and tried to stop in a torturous cycle of longing, pain, and guilt. Sex with Christophe has always been good, comforting at best, always fun-this was not fun.  

Falling into bed with Christophe wasn't fixing his heartsickness for Yuuri, if anything it had made all of his emotions much worse, stronger in their intensity, in his desire for his omega mate. He knew Christophe meant well, he knew the Swiss alpha loved him in his own way, but this wasn't the answer to his problems. He felt his cock droop and soften a bit and Christophe paused in his ministrations.  

"Baby?" 

Victor started to cry in earnest, big, ugly sobs pulling from his mouth as his body shook and he crumpled in embarrassment as Christophe pulled out of him.  

"Oh, sweetheart. Vitya, honey, it's alright. It's going to be alright, babe," Christophe tried to murmur softly, petting and hugging the balled-up alpha as best he could.  

Victor sniffled and gulped, his voice cracked, and he whispered a request so selfish he nearly winced when it passed his lips, "Make love to me?" He was disgusting. Pathetic. But he needed to be loved so badly. He felt so alone, so wrong, so empty without his mate and he needed someone-anyone-to love him, he could pretend it was Yuuri for the rest of the time, anything, to soothe his jagged heart; he was in so, so much pain.  

"Of course, love," Christophe cooed, wrapping himself around Victor from behind and nuzzling the back of his neck, placing soft kisses up and down his spine and along his shoulders while he nudged his cock back between the alpha's slick cheeks.  

"Lemme make it all better, sweetheart," Christophe whispered, as he entered Victor again, holding his alpha friend close to his chest while he gently thrust into him from behind, all while keeping up a steady stream of kisses and loving nibbles to the silver alpha's back.  

Victor whimpered and kept crying, softer now, not big, horrible sobs anymore, and squeezed his eyes tight shut-as shut as they would get-and conjured his true mate to mind.  

 _Yuuri, his sweet, sweet_ _Yuuri_ _. Yuuri who smelled like apples. Yuuri, with kind, cool hands. Yuuri pushing into him again and again, loving him, making Victor his. Yuuri brushing kisses along his neck, his shoulders, his back. Yuuri nuzzling him and cooing sweet nothings._ _Yuuri_ _,_ _Yuuri_ _, Yuuri, I love you, Yuuri~_ Victor gasped and went still for a second as his cock finally twitched and poured hot ejaculate all over his own fist, where he had been tugging on it next to Christophe's own hand, fondling his soft balls and playing in his silver curls.  

Christophe grabbed his friend to his chest tightly, pushing deep, deep, deep and spilled into the silver alpha's body, and Victor had never felt emptier. 

*~~~* 

Victor was back home in Russia now.  

Christophe's cheery texts and pictures weren't helping him.  

Nothing was helping him.  

He was at an utter loss.  

He couldn’t skate, not well.  

Yakov was done with him, he could tell.  

Everyone was done with him, especially Yuuri.  

And how could he even look Yuuri in the eye now, even if he did see his precious omega again, knowing he had betrayed their bond. It was one thing to have fun sex with his friend in between relationships, and he knew Yuuri and he were far from a relationship, Yuuri hated him for all he knew, but he  _knew_  Yuuri was his true mate and he had let someone else into his body anyway, willingly. And in the end-was it even worth it? That small orgasm? After which he had immediately curled up in sick guilt and cried, again-God, poor Christophe, he really was an amazing friend to put up with Victor's moods. And Victor had needed to think of Yuuri and only Yuuri to get himself to orgasm-he was ruined. Ruined for anyone else. And he was looking at potentially a life alone, if his experience with Christophe had taught him anything; if Yuuri continued to ignore him.  

His phone buzzed.  

Victor ignored it and rolled into Makkachin's comforting, warm fluff, nuzzling his face against his dear pet and tugging the blanket higher over them both from where they were cuddled on the couch.  

His phone buzzed again. Then again. Again. And again. What the hell? 

Victor turned and sat up on the couch, Makkachin cuddling up onto his lap around his bent legs. He looked at his phone, dozens of alerts from social media accounts he followed, as well as texts from friends.  

 _Yuuri Katsuki tries to skate Living Legend, Victor Nikiforov's free skate program, "Stay Close to Me"._  

His heart jumped. His stomach fluttered and flipped. His mouth flashed dry then his venom began producing overtime, hot and stinging on his tongue. He felt his heart beating in his throat, making his scent glands pulse.  

 _Yuuri._  

He felt fuzzy around the edges, and there was a faint ringing in his ears.  

 _Yuuri._  

Makkachin's cold, wet nose shocked Victor's arm, as his dog whined for pets from his lap.  

Yuuri skated his free program. His free program which had come to mean so very much to him, in regards to his true mate.  _Stay close to me, Yuuri, always with me, Yuuri, Yuuri, Yuuri~_  

Victor immediately brought up the video and watched it, and then watched it again, and again, the beautiful rendition bringing tears to his eyes.  

 _Yuuri wants me back! This is his way of reaching out to me!_  

 _He could see the longing, the emotion in the Japanese skater's movements, the story he told with his skates a loving caress._  

 _I must go to him!_  

_Yuuri, Yuuri, love, I'm coming~_


	8. Allegro 1: Home to Japan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor prepares for his move to Japan while realizing Yuuri must not see him as a mate yet and decides to try courting him in person while he's in Hasetsu acting as the omega's coach. He moves to Japan and has his first re-acquaintance with Yuuri in the Yu-topia Katsuki onsen. 
> 
> "Al·le·gro /əˈleɡrō/ MUSIC adjective & adverb: Rapid tempo movements, often includes jumping steps. Petit allegro includes smaller jumping steps. Grand allegro includes large expansive jumps such as grand jeté"
> 
> Songs: 
> 
> If You Could Only See by Tonic  
> Let Go by Frou Frou  
> Keep Breathing by Ingrid Michaelson  
> He Feels Like Home to Me by Corrina Fugate  
> The Great Escape by Patrick Watson

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNINGS:
> 
> Mentions of past parental death  
> Mentions of car accidents

Preparations went surprisingly quick for Victor's move to Japan once he had made the decision to actually go, and refused to be deterred by the only people directly involved: Yakov and Lilia. If they could only see what Yuuri meant to him, how he felt about the omega, truly, then maybe they would understand. He couldn't go on without the omega any longer. He had a legitimate reason to move to be with Yuuri now, too, legitimate by society's standards at least, since no one seemed to believe him when he said Yuuri was his true mate and they must then be together. He was going to be Yuuri's coach.  

The normally absent-minded alpha forced himself to make a list, a plan, and stuck to it. He consulted websites on moving to different countries for work, even managed to navigate his way around some native Japanese websites by having the Hiragana, Kanji, and Katakana characters translated into the Cyrillic script on his computer utilizing a handy (and expensive) application. He applied for a work visa for Japan and was approved, of course paying extra to expedite the process for his expedient timeline. 

Victor had to figure out what address he was shipping his belongings to. He had Christophe help him, and they ended up tracing the location of the video to Ice Castle skating rink, located in the small town of Hasetsu, and found Yuuri's home, Yu-topia Katsuki, from there after some diligent stalking-er- _research_.  

Victor wasn't selling the small apartment, really a flat more than anything, that he owned. He didn't want to deal with renting it out, either, perhaps Yuuri and he would stay there if they were back in Russia for competitions, it would be useful to keep-even if it was tainted with bad memories. Maybe Yuuri would help him paint over those bad memories with good.  

Victor tried to focus past the thought of painting over all the bad memories in his apartment with Yuuri-across every surface available-and tried to bring his attention back to the task at hand: packing. He would be taking everything he owned with him to Japan in boxes, except for the furniture in his apartment which would stay behind. He had considered hiring professional movers but really, it was time he actually go through his belongings in a way he hadn't done since he had first moved to this apartment upon turning 18 and leaving the training facility where he had been housed dormitory-style near to the skating rink Yakov worked from.  

His parents had passed away when he was ten, and he didn't have family beyond them he knew of, not that he cared to look anyway. Yakov and Lilia, both already training him in skating and dancing, had stepped into the roles of parents beyond then, though he had declined living with them as their legal ward and had chosen the training facility housing himself. In the beginning, he hadn't wanted to feel like he was replacing his parents, his family, with anyone else. Later, he just didn't know how to even be around anyone he would consider family anymore, how to live in a family's home and feel like he belonged.  

He was a sentimental person. Forgetful, to be sure, but nostalgic when it counted. He was a bit of a hoarder as a result. He had boxes and boxes of things from his exes which he threw out now. No need for their bad vibes to stick around. He had all of his skating paraphernalia packed neatly up already, that had been the first round of items to be packed, easy, as he wasn't giving any of it away.  

Now, he was towards the back of his closet, where he kept the few things he had left from his childhood, from his parents-his family. He couldn’t bear to even open the dusty boxes. He simply put the older boxes all packed up right into newer boxes without opening any of them and taped everything shut. Good to go as-is.  

He felt like he had spent his entire life past the age of ten simultaneously running from any semblance of family, like his self-imposed distance from Yakov and Lilia, and running  _towards_  some form of family in his search for romantic partners, a true mate, who wouldn't abandon him. Well, until Yuuri, he hadn't found anyone who had yet to abandon him in some way. He just prayed that Yuuri would choose to remain with him now, even if it wasn't as a mate, any presence the Japanese omega held in Victor's life, any role, so long as it was continuous, he felt would be enough of a blessing upon him.  

He didn't know how Yuuri felt about him but he was pretty sure at this point that Yuuri didn't see him as a true mate. He hadn't responded to either of his messages sent with the roses-his heart twinged uncomfortable every time he remembered that. Yuuri hadn't made any moves towards contacting him at all, until that video. Obviously that had been a call for attention from Victor. He wasn't sure what kind of attention Yuuri wanted from him, just his presence as a skating coach as the omega had requested at the banquet? Did he want anything past that? But no matter what Yuuri wanted, Victor would give anything to Yuuri.  

Maybe the video had been Yuuri's way of auditioning for Victor? As another ask at the Russian skating legend to be his coach?  

Truly, Victor was awed by the raw talent and beauty in the omega's skating. He would be honored to be Yuuri's coach. He had no idea how to coach someone, but he would figure it out along the way-anything for Yuuri.  

If Yuuri wanted something more-anything for Yuuri. Anything.  

Victor was moving his entire life to Japan for Yuuri, happily. He had no inspiration left in Russia, anyway. And when he had seen his mate's call for attention-the decision had already been made. He would go to Japan. He would move everything. Everything would be focused on Yuuri. He would coach Yuuri. He would try to court Yuuri, too, and hopefully the omega would see they really were true mates and would accept him as such; but the goal of this move, his cover, he supposed ruefully, was to coach the omega.  

First and foremost he would be Yuuri's coach. Secondly, he would try his hardest to become the omega's mate.  

Every time he remembered Yuuri may not want to have anything romantic with Victor, the alpha went into a near panic attack.  

 _Yuuri didn't want him. Yuuri would leave him._  His mind panicked and he would feel hot jolts in his ribs. His heart filled his chest and pressed against his lungs- _He couldn’t breathe!_  

 _Keep breathing._  

 _Just keep breathing._  

Everything would be alright. He would arrive in Japan. Yuuri would welcome him. Yuuri had called to him after all. Maybe courting the omega in person would elicit a more positive response, well, any response, really.  

It didn't matter how much Yakov yelled at him. It couldn’t shake him when Lilia started crying. He needed to do this. Russia didn't feel like his home anymore. But Japan did. Yuuri was his home, every single moment over the past months since the GPF banquet had been dedicated to Yuuri, seeing him, thinking of him, courting him-every moment belonged to Yuuri. And somehow, in all the emotional chaos that had been for him, Victor had come to think of the Japanese omega as his home. And that was an unshakeable feeling within Victor.  

The concept of 'home' was one that had changed many times over the course of Victor's life. Once upon a time, home was with his Mom and Dad. When that fateful car accident took them away from him, home had changed; home became a sparse dormitory, home became his skates on the ice, home was the hugs Lilia sometimes gave him and the smell of her Chanel perfume.  

When he moved to his apartment and adopted Makkachin, home became the feeling of the curly-haired poodle in his arms, the warm feeling of the dog curled against his body in bed at night, and the sounds of his poodle's happy barks when he came home after a long day of practice on the ice. Home was important to him and it wasn't a feeling that changed very often within him. Without even noticing, Yuuri had become home to him.  

Listening to Yuuri's performance music, smelling the apple-scented candles he had taken to keeping in his bedroom lately, watching videos of the omega skating, anytime he could feel close to Yuuri-that had become home to him. He laughed a bit manically when that realization crashed into him, laying with Makkachin in bed one night, trying to fall asleep, and needing to roll over to pull the cold, glass candle jar nearer to his bed on the nightstand so he could smell the scent of apples in the air before calming enough to close his eyes and rest:  _he feels like home to me_. Yuuri had become home for Victor and he had only interacted with the omega for such a brief time.  

 _He was wrecked. Ruined. And he didn't want to recover._  

It was time to let go of Russia, of every place and feeling he had always known as home before Yuuri, and go to Japan, to go home.  

He felt like he was making a great escape, to be honest. Escaping from the suffocating feeling of numbness that had creeped into his sensibilities for the past couple of years. He was escaping from the lack of inspiration weighing his skates down like iron instead of the golden blades he was used to dancing on. He was escaping from the people who didn't want him, his own, personal 'league of evil exes' as he liked to think of them. He was escaping from all the bad memories, the grief of losing his parents, the loneliness that seeped into his core as the years went by and he grew into adulthood, from the heart wrenching fear of not reaching gold in a skating competition and losing Yakov and Lilia too.  

He needed to let go of everything and just make the jump, make the great escape, and go to his mate, his home, his Yuuri.  

*~~~* 

He was on the plane home. Makkachin was at his side. His belongings were all packed and shipped ahead of him except for the small suitcase he had boarded the plane with. And even though Yakov had stubbornly chased him to the airport for one last confrontation, Victor felt a serene sense of right. He had made the right choice. He was going home.  

 _"Vitya! Don't go!_ _S_ _tay here!"_  

 _"Yakov, you were the best coach I've ever had. You always will be."_  

 _"If you walk away_ _now, you can never come back!"_  

 _"_ _Dasvidaniya_ _. I'm sorry I can't do as you say this time."_  

*~~~* 

When Victor did arrive in the small town of Hasetsu, after taking a train in from the nearest airport, he was delighted to see large posters of his Yuuri plastered all over the train station. Yuuri was absolutely lovely, surrounded by cherry blossoms, making a beatific face. He took pictures of the posters to save as wallpapers for his phone screens and grinned.  

 _'His mate was so stunning, so gorgeous,'_  he caught himself thinking dreamily, he was so dramatic, he really was, as everyone told him; he chuckled at himself and his mooning before finding the taxi he had ordered between stilted Japanese and thickly-accented English, and tucking himself and Makkachin away inside with the small suitcase he had actually brought on the plane.  

 _What if Yuuri was_ _the one to greet him_ _? What would he say to him? God, he hoped he could control himself around the omega's sweet scent after all this time._  

He arrived at Yu-topia Katsuki, crunched his way up the snowy walk, and let himself in.  

*~~~* 

Yuuri's parents were wonderful, and unknowingly hilarious. He could see the strong resemblance in the short, curvy woman that had introduced herself as Yuuri's mother before ushering him towards the onsen to relax after his long flight. Her hospitality was magnanimous, and as soon as Victor explained he was here to coach her son to win the next Grand Prix Final ( _'The what?' 'A, uh, skating competition? A big one?'_ ), she seemed to welcome him into the inn as if he were family-which he fervently hoped to truly be one day.  

It seemed Yuuri was still sleeping. This was fine for Victor, he felt like he had been preparing for their re-acquaintance for years, but still felt at a loss.  

Yuuri's parents managed to communicate with the Russian alpha alright in stilted, accented English, but Victor definitely planned to learn Japanese soon, it was important to know the native tongue of his mate's home, and now his home.  

They were delighted with Makkachin and it filled Victor's heart with warmth and love to learn that Yuuri had owned a poodle just like Makkachin, but miniature, named Victor, or more affectionately, Vicchan. He wondered if that strong coincidence had anything to do with himself but quickly brushed the thought aside-he was preparing himself emotionally and mentally to start at square one with Yuuri, courting him anew-no pre-existing thoughts or assumptions. Honestly, it was the only way to keep his heart from heavy aching when he remembered the omega had ignored his roses and messages.  

*~~~* 

Victor settled into the warm onsen and sighed.  _This really was heavenly, a yutopia._   

He had only been soaking for a short while when he heard steps rushing towards him and his nose twitched at the sweet scent of apples, a bit of a tangy hint to the smell-distress? Or was that more surprise, than distress? He felt like he had no time to prepare himself. He was naked, for God's sake.  

Well. He knew he was aesthetically pleasing to most people. Maybe he could entice his omega with his body? Maybe Yuuri would be so shocked he would agree to be Victor's student with no fuss?  

 _Would he be rejected?_  

Victor's heart pounded, his fangs pricked his gums as his venom started flowing in anticipation of seeing his mate after so long, his scent glands were beginning to ache-Yuuri was so, so close.  

He forced himself to relax and act-casual? He settled back against the stone, wet washcloth on his head, as he heard the door slide open and his omega stumble into the open.  

"Vi-Victor...Why are you here?" 

Oh-his heart. He sounded-like he didn't want the alpha there? Was he unwanted? 

He pulled the washcloth off his head and stood from the water, putting himself brazenly on display for his mate.  

"Yuuri, starting today, I'm your coach. I'll make you win the Grand Prix Final."  

He reached his hand out to the omega- _take my hand, Yuuri, take me, Yuuri_ -and when he got no response from the dumbfounded Japanese man, he winked saucily, trying to elicit any other emotion but shock from his mate's face.  

He got a shriek in response.  

He wanted to curl up and die.  _Bury him here, please, so he can at least stay_ _close to Yuuri._


	9. Allegro 2: Torn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor gets settled into his new home with Yuuri, but things don't go as he had hoped. 
> 
> "Al·le·gro /əˈleɡrō/ MUSIC adjective & adverb: Rapid tempo movements, often includes jumping steps. Petit allegro includes smaller jumping steps. Grand allegro includes large expansive jumps such as grand jeté"
> 
> Songs:
> 
> Standing Still by Jewel  
> Torn by Natalie Imbruglia  
> I'll See It Through by Texas

Yuuri had shrieked at him and bolted back inside.  

He had been rejected.  

Again.  

He had nothing.  

He was nothing.  

He was pretty sure it was medically impossible for his heart to shatter inside his chest but that's what he felt was happening. He couldn't breathe all over again. 

Victor wasn't sure how long he continued to stand there, the locals and visitors to the onsen starting to gawk at his odd behavior and probably his reeking odor of depression, wafting a definite aura of moldy, wilted roses through the air by then.   

Eventually, Yuuri's mother, bless that women, seriously, had gathered his sad self up from the onsen, bundled him up into one of the inn's green yukata, and settled him in the dining room with a warm bowl of miso soup and some tea.  

Victor couldn't guess what he would have done if Yuuri's mother hadn't have rescued him. Perhaps the omega mentioned to her he had left a suitor wrecked in the onsen. Maybe she just saw Yuuri running away from the direction of the onsen. He didn't know. She must have known her skittish son would have made a poor host to Victor; it was as if her attentiveness and overwhelming kindness were layered over him to soothe the rejection and hurt from her shy son.  

It took Victor a good hour to finish his soup, his tea, and soothe his nerves enough to come to terms with the fact that Yuuri must be _shy_. From what Yuuri's mom tried to impart as she hovered over him and checked on him again and again, her son was quiet, shy, and rarely seen mingling with people outside from his bedroom, or the places he would practice skating and dance, and exercise around town.  

Maybe presenting himself to the omega he wanted to court, the extremely shy and quiet omega he wanted to court, buck naked, hadn't been the best of ideas...  

This was certainly not the Yuuri he had met at the banquet. The Yuuri that had swept Victor off of his feet in a sensual flamenco.  

That Yuuri had been drunk, and perhaps Victor should have put more stock into that fact-Yuuri had been drunk that night. Just how drunk had the omega been to alter his behavior so apparently erratically?  

But Yuuri, 'that Yuuri' or 'this Yuuri', 'banquet Yuuri' or 'onsen Yuuri', 'drunk Yuuri' or 'sober Yuuri'-Yuuri was Yuuri. He was Victor's mate, the alpha was positive of it, having been unable to gulp his venom down fast enough and keep his fangs put above his gum line as was appropriate for being in public, since he had re-acquainted himself, even if ever so briefly, with the omega. Yuuri was Yuuri. And Victor loved and wanted him in all ways, in all of his forms, all of his nuanced personality representations.  

It didn't mean his heart still didn't hurt, throbbing with reminders of his rejection over and over every few minutes. It didn't mean his loneliness still didn't eat at his sensibilities, wearing on him even though Yuuri's mother assured Victor that Yuuri would be in as soon as he was done shoveling the snow outside on the walk, and that her son really didn't mean to be rude or snub him.  

Victor drank another cup of tea and took some deep breaths before curling up with Makkachin on the floor next to the table and promptly falling asleep. It had been a long flight. It had been a long day. His nerves were utterly frayed. He had been through so much in the last 24 hours. He was so, so tired, and maybe when he woke up, Yuuri would be back and everything would smell so, so sweet again... 

*~~~* 

Victor woke up on the floor of the dining room to the sweet, sweet smell of Yuuri, though the scent had been tainted with a constant, anxious tang since he had first smelled his mate again, in the onsen.  

He could hear the omega speaking with someone at the table next to where he was now spread on his back with Makkachin laying warmly against his side.  

He sat up and gathered Makkachin into his arms. He could feel his top falling down, off his shoulder, and shivered slightly as Yuuri's gaze drew goosebumps over his revealed flesh.  

His stomach clenched with-misery? His sternum felt like it was on fire with heartburn, his ribs felt like they would buckle and snap under the pressure this heartbreak was putting on him. His stomach churned acidly and growled.  

"I'm starving," was all he could manage for a moment, blinking the sleep from his eyes and reorienting himself with his location, his situation, and remembering why exactly he felt so physically and mentally terrible.  

"Hungry," he murmured as he looked back towards Yuuri, where he sat at the table next to a female alpha.  

He felt his eyes sting with tears he blinked away, his scent glands and venom sacs producing in overdrive now, and causing his throat to feel swollen and his body to ache- _Dear God, was he going into another damned reactionary rut? He had been rejected-AGAIN-what on God's green earth was wrong with his forsaken body?!_  

And who was this female alpha so near to his mate? He wanted to snarl at her but clamped his mouth shut. He tasted copper and could feel his fangs slowly making their way through his gum line.  

He needed to get away from everyone before he went into a rut.  

Maybe food would help his body calm down.  

Yuuri seemed attentive to him now, bringing him his own favorite food per Victor's request. He had asked to know Yuuri's favorite food, not-so-subtly trying to bring up his desire to coach the Japanese skater-and solidify his role in the omega's life by doing so-again with his request. Yuuri hadn't denied him this time, so that was a teensy, tiny, smidge in the right direction-right?  

The food was amazing. Katsudon. A little bowl of Heaven right here on the table.  

It was almost enough to distract him from ogling the gorgeous omega across the table, but not quite. He hoped Yuuri didn't notice, but he could tell the female alpha, Minako, Yuuri's ballet instructor, did notice, and started sending sly smirks in his direction while the omega remained oblivious to the silent exchanges between to the two alphas.  

Yuuri had gained weight since Victor had last seen him-a lot of weight. He knew that omegas had curvier body types in general because they needed the weight to sustain pregnancy and birth babies.  

Honestly, it looked good on the omega. It certainly made Victor ache to wrap himself around those curves, to feel their soft weight above his body, to rub his lips across and kiss every single inch of flesh-he really needed to pay attention to Yuuri and stop undressing the quiet man with his eyes.  

He started asking Yuuri about the dish he was eating and the omega explained he ate it after winning competitions. But he hadn't thought the omega had won any recently? That's why he hadn't been at Worlds.  When it was revealed that he in fact hadn't, but continued to eat the calorie-rich reward anyway, frequently, the alpha had some harsh comments-he wanted his Yuuri to go for gold and to not be satisfied with anything less, it was the least of what the omega deserved, after all.  

And while he loved the omega's extra weight, he would need to be back to his competitive, slimmer weight in order to do the beautiful things with his body on the ice that Victor wanted to draw from him, that  _only Victor_  could draw from Yuuri.  

If his comments were a bit mean to the omega, he tried to steel his fluttering emotions at his own harshness, this was for Yuuri's own good, for his career as a professional skater, for his path to golden glory that Victor hoped to lead him upon. If he wasn't mean, he worried Yuuri wouldn't take him seriously. All of his coaching experience was gleaned from interactions with Yakov, after all, and it's not like that man even knew the meaning of the word 'tact', or at least not in his interactions with Victor.  

He still didn't like the way Minako sat so close to the omega, so familiarly, but he could now tell he was definitely going to go into a rut in the next couple of hours, and knew he was being ridiculous as a result of his instincts going internally haywire while his senses were repeatedly assaulted with Yuuri's sweet scent-unblemished, pure, un-claimed.  

*~~~* 

After they ate, they moved his boxes which had arrived earlier that day into the tiny, traditional banquet room upstairs, and oddly enough, right next to Yuuri's. Both of the rooms were situated back and away from everyone else's rooms, both guests and family, because Yuuri, and now Victor, would be the only long-term residents of the building with secondary genders that would experience mating cycles on a regular basis and thus afforded a higher need for privacy-God, that had been a fun conversation with Yuuri's sister, revealing himself as an alpha and asking to stay close to her un-mated, omega brother and away from everyone else-as if they all couldn’t smell his pre-rut pheromones reeking off of him anyway-heady, heavy roses in bloom.  

He was alone with Yuuri. Finally.  

He honestly didn't know what to say now. What to do.  

He knew what he wanted to do; but Yuuri stood there awkwardly, silently.  

Victor weakly brought up the coaching fee-as if he would ever charge Yuuri anything for him inserting himself into the omega's life like this, the pleasure was surely all Victor's own.  

Yuuri could only answer with a quiet 'thank you' before Victor dropped to his knees in front of the omega, who was on the floor, and turned his head slightly at a tilt, shamelessly bearing his scent gland to the man in an unspoken plea. He nearly whined into the silence, he was submitting himself to this quiet omega, an alpha, it was pathetic, it was difficult, and it didn't seem to matter at all to the omega.  

Yuuri stayed silent, but Victor ran his hand down Yuuri's arm, reaching for his hand, before moving his other hand underneath the omega's chin-he couldn’t bear their distance. He needed everything about this sweet omega in front of him, needed and wanted to consume him in all manner of ways. Yuuri's skin was so very soft, smooth, and the scent of apples surrounded Victor dizzyingly. His mouth watered and his throat burned.  

Having his hands on the omega was almost too much, he could feel his top hanging open and the cool air causing his revealed, right nipple to pebble. His whole body felt hot, but he needed Yuuri so badly. He didn't have anything to nest with. He was in an unfamiliar place. His instincts were screaming at him. He needed his mate. He wanted Yuuri to be with him through this. He could tell the omega was approaching a heat himself, his scent was heavy and sugary on Victor's tongue, like thick syrup drizzling over his senses.  

And what if there was someone else? What if he preferred that Minako to him? Yuuri certainly knew her a whole lot better and was evidently comfortable around her. What if Victor couldn't even try to ask the omega to court him as well as coach him because Yuuri was already romantically taken, even if he remained physically un-claimed? Victor's every instinct was screaming at him to claim his mate-but he wouldn’t, couldn't force himself onto sweet Yuuri.  

How could he gentle himself to allow the omega to trust him like he clearly trusted the ballet teacher?  

He was submitting to the omega here on the floor, even if he had greedily placed his hands on the Japanese man's arm and face, his gland was still presented quite wantonly. He would let Yuuri ruin him if he wanted-anything.  

He swallowed some more venom-saturated saliva off his tingling tongue, and nearly croaked a string of questions at the silent omega, needing to know everything about his mate, but more importantly, needing, so desperately, for the man to just not leave him alone in his rut, with no nest, and in an unfamiliar place:  

"Yuuri, tell me everything about you." 

"What kind of rink do you skate at?" 

"What's in this town?" 

"Is there a girl you like?" 

"Before we start practicing, let's build some trust in our relationship."  _Please, please trust me,_ _Yuuri_ _. I would never, ever hurt you. I want you so badly,_ _Yuuri_ _, my love. I love you. I love you so very, very much._  

The omega stood up and bolted- _again._   

Damn everything-he needed to stop scaring the skittish omega he wanted to court away!  

He wanted Yuuri to trust him. He wanted Yuuri to love him. He wanted Yuuri to need him and want him the way he already so desperately, emotionally clung to his mate.  

He needed to stop startling the shy man enough to cause him to run away from him! 

"What? Why are you running away?" 

Yuuri went to his room right down the hall, so close. But the door separating them made Victor feel so far away-almost like they were in different countries again.  

"Yuuri, lets sleep together. As your coach there's so much I need to learn about you," he desperately tried again.  

He was rejected with a yell of, 'No!' 

He was rejected again.  _Again and again._  

He went back to his own room. Alone.  

He sat on the hard mat on the floor, nearly in tears as he realized he didn't have anything at all to even make some small semblance of a nest with before his rut began in earnest. He felt so exposed and raw, frayed, and vulnerable.  _He was torn. All torn up. Inside and out._  

Makkachin whined at him quietly, sensing his disquiet, and he put his one, extra blanket on the floor for his poodle to sleep on before removing his clothes and putting himself under the remaining blanket on the floor and turning into his pillow to cry.  

He had no idea what to do. He had no idea what he had done to bring himself to this point-well, nothing he wanted to contemplate at the moment. Nothing had turned out even like he had hoped for in worst case scenarios.  _He was naked, alone, torn_ _as_ _under_ _, rejected and_ _abandoned_ _by_ _his mate_ _over_ _and over_ -and about to start a rut, a reactionary rut, for the omega down the hall who was ignoring him and their obvious chemistry. He knew the omega was about to go into what was likely a reactionary, or extremely coincidentally timed, heat, he had smelt it surely.  

His cries turned into big, ugly sobs and he was gasping for breath, snot and tears soaking his pillow. He wailed and tried to muffle his cries with his hands futilely-he was so hot, everything felt too hot and stuffy- _h_ _e was suffocating._  

Suddenly he heard a knock on his door and stilled, his ragged breathing puffing hotly into the damp pillow. He tried to hold his breath to quiet his hiccups and shuddering gasps- _God, he hadn't cried this hard since he was a child_ , but this had all just been far too much on his already exhausted and frayed state of mind.  

He managed some deep breaths and picked his face up off the pillow as he heard another tapping knock on the wooden frame of his door and then-timidly-so quiet he couldn’t be sure he wasn't deliriously imagining it, he heard Yuuri's voice: 

"V-Victor?"


	10. Pas de Deux 1: When the Lights Go Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor and Yuuri experience a heat and rut at the same time. 
> 
> "Pas de deux /pä də ˈdo͝o/ noun: a dance for two people"
> 
> Songs:
> 
> I Miss You by Adele  
> Kill the Lights by The Birthday Massacre  
> Goodnight by The Birthday Massacre  
> Falling Down by The Birthday Massacre

Yuuri let himself into Victor's room and the alpha whined, before gasping a hiccup and sniffling as a result of just how hard he had been sobbing into his pillow over this quiet omega standing before him now.  

He could feel his mind losing itself to the hot haziness clouding his senses, pushing his nerves to the edge and touching his skin with fire. His rut was here. He was in a rut, he could feel it. This omega, his mate, shouldn’t be here with him when they were not bonded-it wasn't safe.  

 _Everything smelled so sweet. Apples were hanging heavy on their branches, waiting to drop into the soft earth beneath them, welcoming them with fertile curves. The fruit smelled dizzyingly sweet, drawing the alpha_ _to it with sensual caresses to his_ _senses. Syrup slicked and dripped onto the alpha's tongue, burning and sweet-so sweet, so very, very sweet._  

The alpha whined again and forced himself onto his back before the omega, submitting. He felt spikes of nerves and anxiety rush through him at the lack of a nest-he couldn’t even provide a mating nest for his omega, he was a wretched, useless alpha. They weren't safe during a mating cycle outside of a nest, nothing was safe outside of the nest-his mind was cloying and crowded with shouts from his warring instincts like he was standing in a large hall with hundreds of people shouting and echoing all around him.  

He hadn't been with anyone during a rut since-he couldn’t even think the name-didn't want to ever, ever think that name. He hadn't had a nest then, either. He had had nothing to protect him. Nothing to shelter him. No nest. No home. Now he needed a nest, and he knew he was home, but he still needed a nest. This omega-his mate-he could trust him. He forced his body to go pliant to the omega's whims, he trusted his mate implicitly, even if it was new.  

The omega pitched a keen in response to the alpha's whines and dropped to his knees, shuffling over beside his mate's prone form on the floor.  

"V-Victor," Yuuri started again, "I thought I heard... D-do you need help, Victor?" 

What a foolish question. The alpha was clearly miserably deep into a rut, abandoned by his mate, and fighting every instinct in his body to not jump on the sweet omega in front of him and claim him all over, again and again- _submit, submit, submit, do not advance onto this omega._  

Suddenly, Yuuri's nose twitched and he finally seemed to notice the overpowering musk of roses hanging in the air aside from his own sweet scent.  

 _Roses bloomed everywhere in heady abundance. Each petal opening and unfurling to reveal secret centers deep in the blooms, pushing their gossamer scent in all directions to veil and matte over the omega's senses. Their velvet fragrance, lusty in appeal and possessive in strength, settled over everything it brushed in its' wake, dancing and rolling across the air from virile bunches of blossoms. The omega sighed and tried to draw in as deep a breath as possible, swallowing the heavy scent of roses all around with each inhale. Rose petals falling like raindrops. A rosey bower above his body, softly weeping and dancing petals along the omega's flesh._   

"Victor, are you..." Yuuri swallowed before continuing timidly, "A-are you in a r-rut?"  

The alpha could smell the omega's heat overwhelming him by the second. The omega's sweet scent intensified painfully, burning sugar into the alpha's senses. The omega let out his own whine and doubled over, clutching at his pelvis while a fresh wave of sweet apples blossomed into the air, his slick must be running down his legs-hitting the night air.  

The alpha shook, staying on his back in submission to the omega, and whined a response pitifully, before forcing himself to grit, "Rut. Go. Please." 

The omega shook his head 'no' and his eyes widened, their chocolate irises so welcoming, drawing the alpha in, "I-I have a nest. Sh-share with me?" Yuuri stuttered out, a red blush blooming over his whole face, his ears, and down his throat at his own forwardness. But his rational mind was quickly leaving him as Victor's had, instincts taking over, and how many heats had he spent dreaming of this very alpha right here on the floor? His mate-Victor. His instincts knew it. His whole body cried out for the alpha. He had never, ever done anything even remotely sexual with anyone else, but Victor was in a rut and needed a nest- _his mate_  was in a rut and needed a nest, and Yuuri had a nest, he was a good omega and would give his alpha a nest to mate with him in.  

Victor opened his mouth as his jaw gave a strong, sharp ache and his fangs finally punctured through his gums, blood pooling briefly onto his tongue with a spurt of spicy venom too. The alpha moaned and curled into himself, on his side, leaving his right scent gland entirely exposed to the room-to his omega, in an act of ridiculous trust-bold, reckless, foolishly in love with the Japanese man as he was.  

The alpha's cock was quivering, completely swollen and erect, and his knot was already the size of a tangerine and growing, aching for attention and quickly turning purple as the blood continued to rush and pool in the hardened flesh.  

Victor's blanket was lifted off of him and a warm hand grabbed his arm and hauled him up with surprising strength. He was beyond words. He was running on instincts now, completely. He could smell his mate's sweetness around him, and he knew he was safe now. He felt a quiet sense of rightness settle onto him as he followed the omega to his nest-to their nest. His mind was battered and weary, and he couldn’t even begin to try and handle his emotions or conscious thoughts outside of his animalistic drives at the moment-so he stopped trying to sort through it all, and he just followed his mate, blindly, lovingly, trustingly, down the dark hallway.  

The alpha curled into the comfortable, plush nest that smelled so sweetly of his mate everywhere he nuzzled and cuddled. His chest rumbled with low growls and he clawed a bit at the walls to fluff them, before rolling onto his stomach and rubbing his knotted erection all over the base of the nest to entangle his own scent with his mate's.  

His mate curled around him, warm flesh rubbing silkily against his own, and all was right with the world. He was in heaven with his mate in their safe, beautiful, perfect nest. He felt tears return to his puffy eyes in relief-his mate was finally here with him, he wasn't alone anymore.  

As the omega nudged his way into the alpha's arms, Victor was momentarily shocked when he felt a pitched, velvety purr begin to thrum from his throat-he had never, ever purred before, not even at his happiest. His mate had brought out his purr for the first time, and Victor was entirely overwhelmed. He buried his face against the omega's neck and nuzzled while warm tears ran down his face, and he continued to purr happily with his mate in his arms. The omega answered with a purr of his own, a very, very quiet purr that Victor was only able to hear because the omega scooted so that his alpha's ear laid against his collarbone, close to the base of his throat to listen.  

The comfort of listening to his mate's purrs soothed every one of his ragged feelings like a cool balm, smooth and soft, and so, so right.  

After a long while of cuddling and nuzzling as close as they could manage, the omega's purrs started to jilt and break with whines, and Victor could feel his mate's soft cock begin to harden and poke against his own legs. When he pulled his mate closer to him, his hand slipped on the omega's thigh, soaked in slick, and scenting their nest so nicely.  

His mate tried to mumble something in Japanese and he answered back in Russian before his tongue lost the ability to form words again. He tried again, in English, "Yes?" Victor managed.  

"H-Hai," the Japanese omega bit out before whining in English, "Yes." 

"Mate," the omega breathed and the alpha answered by placing the tips of his fangs against the base of the omega's neck, far under where his scent glands were, his knot swelled and his hardness thrummed in anticipation.  

Victor rubbed the surface of his fangs against the omega's damp skin and moaned loudly while his venom ran freely out of his mouth, dripping onto his mate's shoulder. He pitched his moan to a proverbial question and the omega responded by keening and pressing his flesh up against the alpha's mouth. The alpha bit down hard enough to bruise, but not to puncture the flesh, and sucked a purple, mottled welt into his mate's neck, marking the omega.  

A tiny amount of reason was yelling at him to not permanently bond this omega to himself, his mate-he didn't know why, but not yet. Something would have to happen first-but he couldn’t think about that now. His cock twitched and his body stiffened as an orgasm rolled through him, just from tasting the salty, sweet flesh of his omega. The omega purred again, louder than before, and swiped up some of his alpha's cum before stuffing his fingers greedily into his mouth and suckling the sticky substance off of them, finishing with small, kitten licks while his happy purring and cooing filled their warm nest.  

The alpha had pleased his mate and he felt happiness well up inside of him, pride, and fulfillment. He bent to nuzzle his mate's soft testicles and the shy omega closed his legs a bit, whining, while Victor could see his face blush in the dimly lit room they were in. But Yuuri stuffed his fingers back into his mouth and continued sucking on them, before relaxing onto his side, legs closed together, so that Victor could see his mate's exposed hole and testicles sticking back out between his beautiful, soft thighs. The omega's entire backside was wet and glistening with slick, and the alpha could see his mate's hole was puffed up around the edges and pink, spasming and twitching for something to fill it.  

He knew he needed to court this omega, his mate. He knew instinctually that he couldn't have all of his mate right now. But he couldn’t stop himself from slathering his tongue all over his mate's thighs, licking up as much of the sweet slick as he could get. He nuzzled his way up the omega's legs and sucked gently at his exposed testicles, leaving kisses behind his tongue's every swipe.  

He finally reached his mate's dripping, eager slit and he hungrily ran his tongue from the omega's scrotum to the top of his crack. He managed to swipe a mouthful of the syrupy slick off his mate's flesh before he laved his tongue and sucked at the omega's puffy pucker, sucking the fleshy ring with his tongue and lips greedily. His mate was squirming now, moaning and whining quietly into the side of their nest, and Victor tentatively pushed his tongue into the ring of muscle and was rewarded with a spray of slick right into his mouth. He pushed his tongue as far as it would go, chasing the sugar in his mouth, and he felt his mate's body tense around him and shake, as the omega orgasmed and rubbed his semen into the sidewall of their nest, spreading their scents.  

Victor's cock was throbbing, heavy and purpled with blood, his knot was painfully swollen now, and he wished he could sink himself into his mate. But he couldn’t even bond with him yet, his instincts warred with him to gentle himself, to not do anything to scare his mate off, to not move too fast, but he just wanted to take, take, take everything his mate was offering before him.  

He rolled onto his hands and knees, cock swinging between his thighs, the heavy knot pulling it down, and he whined to gather his mate's attention.  

He wanted to tell his beautiful mate that he belonged to him but he still couldn't find his words. So he was submitting himself again. It was very painful for an alpha in rut to hold back on chasing his own pleasure, to leave his knotted cock untouched and dangling between his legs vulnerably, to turn his back to a partner, even a mate, but every instinct he had was now telling him to submit to this omega, to humble and gentle himself to the utmost to allow his mate to come to him-to take him.  

 _Yuuri, Yuuri I'm yours. Take me, Yuuri, make me yours over and over. Yuuri, mate._   

Yuuri crawled to his mate, distressed at his mate's vulnerability, and wanting to soothe, to comfort, to protect. He started licking his mate's thighs, grooming him as his loving mate had just done for the omega. He licked over his mate's puckered hole and the alpha trembled beneath him, smothering his noises in their nest.  

The omega laid on his back and scooted beneath the alpha, meeting his beautiful, blue eyes in lusty adoration, the mating haze controlling them both, not sapping even a bit yet. He opened his legs underneath his mate and started fingering himself open, until he had stuffed his entire fist into his hole in an imitation of his alpha's knot that was hanging right above him. Victor whined and his arms shook as he continued to hold himself up, not touching his own hardness.  

Yuuri gasped and pulled his fist out of his hole, rubbed his slick all over both of his hands and pulled his alpha down onto his body, before cupping Victor's knot with his slickened hands and canting his hips and hardness up into the alpha, encouraging him to thrust back as well. Victor groaned and sunk his fangs into the soft base of the nest by Yuuri's shoulder and poured his hot seed all over the omega's hands as he massaged the alpha's swollen knot tenderly.  

Yuuri rubbed the slick and semen all over Victor's cock and his own before pulling his dick and scrotum up slightly and slotting the alpha's knotted length in between his plush thighs. He arranged his own cock between their stomachs and pulled his alpha to him closely, sucking his own strawberry marks into his mate's pale skin while the man started thrusting into his thighs, moaning loud wails each time his knot pushed and popped in and out from within Yuuri's firm legs.  

The omega grabbed his mate's hand and stuffed his fingers into his mouth to suck on them, while he wiggled his other hand underneath him and managed to be able to shallowly finger his own hole while the alpha continued to buck into his thighs, wringing several orgasms from them both while their sexes slicky rubbed over their wet flesh.  

The alpha and omega fell asleep tangled together, the omega still sucking on the alpha's fingers, purring softly into the hot, heavy air hanging around their mating nest. Their nest was wet with semen, slick, and saliva, and they had nuzzled and fluffed it's soft sides to thickly cradle their bodies within safely. They cuddled each other's damp bodies and both of their hurting hearts, tender with bruising and clots, soothed in relief at the other's presence.  

*~~~* 

Victor woke to blearly light filtering into a dimly lit room that was entirely unfamiliar. He smelt musty, overwhelming pheromones in the air, that smelled not just like his own but like apples too-Yuuri? 

He blinked and rubbed his eyes with his sticky hands, trying to remember where he was and what had happened the night before. He remembered being in a room surrounded by his own boxes, he remembered being ready to go into a rut and being really upset Yuuri had refused to sleep with him and panicking that he didn't have a nest.  

But he was in a nest. A nest that smelled like him and Yuuri. And probably the worst thing about waking up like this-he was alone. He had woken up alone in a mating nest that smelled like him and the omega he wanted to court.  

Images from the night before began to filter into his scattered, hazy memories: 

 _Yuuri, beautiful, sweet Yuuri beneath him._  

 _Yuuri moaning, panting, making the most gorgeous noises._  

 _Biting, sinking his_ _fangs_ _into soft_ _things_ _._  

 _Chasing sugar with his tongue...Yuuri._  

What had they done?  

What had he done?  

Why was he alone in their nest? 

He needed to find Yuuri! 


	11. Pas de Deux 2: Where Soul Meets Body

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor and Yuuri talk the morning after they share a heat/rut together. 
> 
> "Pas de deux /pä də ˈdo͝o/ noun: a dance for two people"
> 
> Songs:
> 
> Unfamiliar by The Birthday Massacre  
> Soul Meets Body by Death Cab for Cutie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNINGS:
> 
> Cussing  
> Anxiety Attack

As the panicked alpha was getting ready to rush out of the lonely nest he had been left in and search frantically for his omega, he heard an odd snuffling sound from the foot of the bed the nest had been made on.  

While looking for Yuuri visually, his eyes had swept the room several times over, not seeing the omega, before beginning to well and truly freak the fuck out that the omega was missing from their nest and preparing himself to get up and physically search. It was difficult with their combined scents so strong within the nest to smell anything outside of their clouded, combined pheromones, so he hadn't tried to scent his mate's location.  

Victor heard the weird snuffling sound again and poked his head out from over the edges of the impressive nest, woven high with various pillows, blankets, and even the occasional plushie, and his nose was immediately assaulted with the sour scent of a frightened omega- _his frightened omega-his omega smelled terrified!_  

The rut was gone from his system, it had started mid-evening the night before and it had been about eight hours since it had started, and the heavy fog a rut brought about was slowly easing from his mind. In a lot of ways, the morning after a rut felt like waking up with a nasty hangover after being nearly blackout drunk. He could remember feelings, sensations, flashes of memories, scenes and vague concepts, but other than that it was like trying to piece together a puzzle while missing many pieces.  

Well, an emotional puzzle, emotions were always so high following a rut or heat. That amount of hormones flooding into your system in such a short time period really took a person's body through the ringer, alpha or omega-the fallout could be extremely rough. The day after a rut or heat was emotional and was very difficult to spend alone, without any mate or support.  

Victor didn't really remember clearly how he had ended up in a mating nest with Yuuri and he wasn't exactly clear on what had happened between them last night-had they actually had sex? He could feel his heart sinking a bit at the thought-not that he didn't want to share every part of his body with his mate and have that reciprocated, but he really wanted their first time, if Yuuri indeed would have let them have a first time together at all, to be while they were both fully aware of what was happening and would remember their actions the next day.  

He should have known something like this might happen if they both experienced an off-schedule reactionary rut/heat after seeing each other again for the first time in so long. But he had remembered resigning himself alone to his room after Yuuri had said no to sleeping together. He vaguely remembered his mate coming into his room after than and then his mind had been lost to the alpha within-all instincts, feelings, and the resounding echo of _'_ _mate, mate, mate'_ pulsing through everything, pushing his every action.  

But no matter what had happened between them, it was his own, personal nightmare to wake up alone in their mating nest and to find his mate on the floor, outside of the nest, smelling utterly terrified and crying. What had he done to the poor omega to induce this response? He hated himself for a moment, feeling sick with grief at the thought of causing this torment to his mate, before climbing out of the nest and crawling over to where the frightened omega had wedged himself in a ball between the foot of the bed and the wall, still naked and hugging his knees to his chest, while tiny whimpers escaped his mouth and tears tracked down his face.  

"Yuuri?"  

The omega flinched, hard, and made a choking sound.  

Victor scrunched his eyes shut for a moment, taking a deep breath, and tried to remain calm himself and not scent the air with anymore unhappy pheromones.  

He softened his voice and sat back on his heels, trying to make his body seem as small as possible, "Yuuri?" 

The omega shuddered but opened his eyes this time and made eye contact with the alpha- _definitely a good sign!_   

Victor sat on the floor, crossing his legs like a grade school child, and placed his hands on his knees, palms up and open, in a posture of gentleness and complete non-aggression.  

He really was not good with crying people-at all. It was ironic, he was a highly emotional person, and he definitely had his own brand of dramatic flair to contend with socially, but when it came to handling someone else's high emotions, he was always at a loss; he never wanted to make it worse and generally ended up doing so anyway. But he had experienced his fair share of anxiety attacks and recognized the signs in Yuuri, he could do this for his mate, he had to at least try to bring him out of this.  

He spoke quietly again, Yuuri was still looking at him, so he hoped he had the omega's attention, "Yuuri, I don't know why you're upset," he paused as the omega whined and more tears came while his lip wobbled and curled in misery, "I don't know what upset you, Yuuri. But it's all going to be okay, we can work everything out. Just talk to me, love?"  

Yuuri whimpered and finally opened his mouth to release a loud wail, he tried to press himself back into the corner even more but was already as far as he could go, and he stuffed his face to his knees and snuffled into his hands.  

 _Fuck_.  

Victor wanted so badly to reach out and try to physically comfort the panicking omega but he didn't want to push himself on the other man or touch him without his consent, it might make everything much, much worse if he tried.  

He didn't know what to do. He just wasn't good with this stuff. He sat there and felt his heart aching as he watched his mate ball his eyes out on the floor, stuffed into a corner, smelling of anxiety and fear.  

His instincts were pricking at him like vicious needles: _he needed to make things right with his mate, he needed to comfort his mate, he was a failure of an alpha if he couldn’t provide basic emotional support to his omega._   

Finally, with no other options or ideas, Victor started singing. He had a really, really vague and blurry memory-maybe it was only a dream-of being cold and upset as a small child, somewhere in a car, and it was snowing outside, and his mother had petted his hair and sung to him. He couldn’t even remember the tune well enough to try and figure out what the song had been, but he remembered it had filled his previously cold self with warmth and comfort, and he remembered thinking everything would be alright. Sometimes at night when he was feeling really terrible, he liked to image his mother was singing to him, petting his silver hair that matched her own with her cool hands, and running her fingers over his forehead-back and forth-soothing him to sleep.  

His singing was really horrible, his voice could only pitch to low tones, but he tried. He was singing the words to a song that had recently made its way to Victor's embarrassing playlist dedicated to Yuuri; and not just songs the omega had skated to, but any song that made him think of Yuuri and/or himself and Yuuri. He made it through about three rounds of the song, humming the parts where his voice failed him, before he saw any change in the omega.  

 _"I want to live where soul meets body, and let the sun wraps its arms around me, and bathe my skin in_ _water cool and cleansing, and feel, feel what_ _it's_ _like to be new..."_  

Yuuri's cries quieted and his breathing had evened out. His rigid posture had unfurled a bit, his body seemed a bit more relaxed around the edges. The omega turned his face towards Victor again and met his gaze, and the tears had stopped.  

"Sometimes I just need to cry too," Victor offered weakly, feeling his own anxiety creeping in on him with his utter loss of how to make things better between them. He didn't know how things had become so damaged in such an unbelievably short amount of time, but he hated it.  

Yuuri blushed, though it was hard to tell with his face already red, puffy, and sweaty from all the tears.  

"S-Sorry," the omega stuttered quietly, hands still on his knees, pinching until his knuckles turned white.  

"You have nothing to apologize for. I think I should be apologizing to you, for whatever caused this-"  

But Yuuri started shaking his head and interrupted the alpha, "Y-You didn't do a-anything. I'm just, well, I h-have anxiety problems and I just woke up with you and didn't know what happened a-and I've never, I mean, I've never, ever...with anyone..." Yuuri trailed off, definitely blushing furiously now, and finally taking his hands off of his knees to hide his face in them.  

Victor blanched- _ah_. "Yuuri, I didn't mean to push myself on you, I-I completely understand if you need me to leave, I-" _God, every word was like a knife to his heart_ , but if he had somehow taken advantage of his mate he couldn't live with himself, he would do anything to make it right.  

"No, no, no! You didn't take a-advantage of me," Yuuri frantically corrected the babbling alpha, "I, well, I remember finding you in your room and asking you to-to share my nest with me," he paused, was it possible for him to blush darker than he had already? He felt like his ears, chest, neck, and face were glowing neon with the force of his blush.  

The omega rambled on before the alpha could speak, seemingly taking a breath and gathering himself momentarily, "I wanted what happened last night, Victor," he looked right into the alpha's eyes confidently, and Victor felt his heart flutter-Yuuri was so beautiful, "We just don't know each other, well, at all, really," the alpha flinched at that, "And I have never done anything ah-sexually," he coughed a bit-how cute, Victor thought, the flustered omega was adorable, "I've never done anything sexually with anyone before, and I just felt like I let us get carried away last night, by...ugh, you just came here t-to coach me, right? A-and I don't even know why you would want that, either! And I ruined everything! I-I s-seduced you into my nest!" Yuuri finished with a cry, looking like he might burst into tears all over again.  

Victor blinked. _What_ _?_  

"Yuuri," he started, holding up his hands to try and calm the omega down again, "Yuuri, I came here to coach you because you make music with your body when you skate. You're beautiful, Yuuri. And you're talented, I can see it," he continued even though the omega was now hiding his face again, blush as vividly red as ever, "And Yuuri," Victor reached out brashly and tipped the omega's chin up so that their gazes met again, "I also came to try and court you, if that's okay with you, I mean," he finished, feeling himself blush now.  

"B-But you don't even know me..." Yuuri trailed off, staring past Victor's shoulder for a moment before snapping his chocolate eyes back to the alpha's, "The roses. T-the roses were you? And those-those notes?" He squeaked, hiding his face yet again and mumbling into his hands in mixed Japanese and English, Victor could make out _'oh my God, oh my God'_ as a constant refrain in all of it though.  

"Yuuri, you," the alpha laughed weakly, so very wrecked for this man in front of him, "Yuuri, you completely stole my attention at the Grand Prix Final. And when I saw you perform to Stay Close to Me online afterwards I just knew I had to come to Japan try for your affections; and I had to bring you to what you could be, I want everyone to see what I see when you skate." 

Yuuri mumbled something else and Victor caught the words 'commemorative photo' before pursing his lips, and taking on a slight, almost scolding tone, "Yuuri, I was joking with you, but you walked away before I could explain and I couldn’t go after you because Yakov-" he broke off and sighed, "Yuuri, can we just start over? I don't want to lose any chance I could have had with you because I'm an idiot." 

Yuuri shook his head again, "Victor, I don't even know how to be in a relationship right now. I didn't even know what I was going to be doing with my life until you showed up to coach me." 

 _Oh, it stung._ But at least it seemed Yuuri wanted him to stay, even if he was only staying to coach him, he could live with that-he hoped.  

"So I can stay and be your coach?" Victor clarified.  

"Yes, yes, of course," Yuuri agreed, his lips taking on a slight smile, finally.  

"And can I...would you maybe think about letting me..." 

"I-I don't understand why you would want to court me," the omega started, frowning, but continuing on before Victor could open his mouth to argue, "But I'll think about it?" 

 _Fuck it hurt._ Victor felt like his whole body was a giant bruise, like his heart right now. "You don't think...I mean, all the signs are there, but I...Yuuri, I think we're true mates," Victor ended up blurting out. _Awesome. Way to not scare the skittish omega off, Nikiforov._  

Yuuri looked shocked. Completely shocked.  

"I-I wouldn't know. I've never, I mean, we just don't even know each other," he stressed again, frowning when Victor winced visibly this time.  

"Okay, okay, I don't want to push myself on you, and," Victor laughed shakily again, "And I don't think my heart can handle more of this conversation," he ended sadly.  

Yuuri reached a hand out and laid it on Victor's where it still rested on his knee, "Victor, let's get to know each other, okay? I'd really, really like that. I've wanted to know you for years. You've always been my idol," he finished shyly, smiling and giving Victor's hand a little squeeze before pulling his hand back to his own legs.  

Victor blinked a couple of times, feeling his sore throat and mouth twinge uncomfortably heavy with emotion and exhaustion from last night.. _.last_ _night_ , "Uh, Yuuri, do you...remember...did we um, we didn't...?" 

"No, no, we just did...um...other stuff? I think we groomed each other at one point?" Yuuri whispered, hiding his face again- _he was so shy!_   

"Well, what I do remember, was amazing," Victor whispered back, feeling another blush heat his face, and looking bashfully down at the floor when he remembered they were both still naked!  

He cleared his throat, standing and reaching a hand out to help Yuuri up from the corner he had wedged himself into on the floor.  

"Do you want help cleaning up our-um-the nest?" Victor managed, looking at their nest near wistfully, it really was a lovely nest.  

Yuuri shook his head emphatically, "No, no, I've got it." Many omegas and alphas alike hated dismantling their nests so close after a rut or heat anyway. Yuuri would probably have the privilege of sleeping in their nest for many nights to come, and Victor tried to not think about how lonely he'd be in his bare room with no nest.  

"Did you have plans for today? I don't know how up to exercise you're feeling but we've really got to slim you down before you can get back on the ice competitively," Victor started, trying to be tactful but feeling like he was probably failing as the omega made a face.  

"Let's clean up and meet downstairs for breakfast and I'll show you around Hasetsu," Yuuri decided, "Since you're going to be staying here, Coach," he finished with a playful smile.  

Victor felt his heart warm at the title, he felt like he could at least provide support for the omega in this way for the time being until he was allowed to do more, and it felt good, reassuring. 

Yuuri turned to rustle through his closet for clean clothes and Victor went to leave for his own room, glancing at their nest on the way out before doubling back to look at something closely he hadn't noticed the night before: the crown of blue roses had been dried and preserved and was draped over one of the bed's four, short posts, and there were yellow and orange rose petals scattered all around the nest, most of them seeming to come from a small bag near the foot of the bed where they had been dried, preserved, and gathered carefully for safekeeping. The alpha smiled-his Yuuri had loved his roses after all.  

He wanted to exist here with Yuuri, where his soul met body. He wanted to get to know his omega mate's soul before reacquainting himself with Yuuri's body-if he was allowed. He had hope now. 


	12. Chaînés 1: The Middle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri and Victor spend the day touring around Hasetsu and end up playing in the snow on the beach. 
> 
> "Chaî·nés /shē-nā′/ plural noun: translates to "linked like a chain”. A series of small turning steps with the feet in first position relevé. Weight is shifted rapidly from one to the other limb with each half turn. Performed continuously in rapid succession" 
> 
> Songs:
> 
> The Middle by Jimmy Eat World  
> Your House by Jimmy Eat World

Victor smiled in the wintry sunlight as his Yuuri led him around the small town of Hasetsu. The alpha felt a fragile happiness hopefully bubbling within his chest. Every time he remembered who he was with, every time his mind focused on something Yuuri was saying or doing, Victor felt his lips curl into a smile. If he didn't think too hard about certain parts of their conversation earlier that morning, then he felt he could actually be happy, and not anxious that this feeling would drop away as soon as his eyes closed.

He had a mantra now, and it went along with a song that he had recently been playing more often than not late at night, when anxiety would eat at him: _"...everything, everything will be just fine, everything, everything will be alright..."_ Though the next song on that album he so loved playing lately talked about ripping his heart right out which was ironically closer to how he felt more than anything right now.

There was snow everywhere, late in the season, given that it was already April. Yuuri was discussing how this would affect the schedule of the town's small Hanami festival held every year, to welcome spring under the vibrant cherry blossoms. Victor blushed a bit, thinking he would very much like to go to the festival, maybe with Yuuri as his date? But he forced himself to refocus his attention back on the chattering omega, so talkative where before he had been all shyness and awkward silences through breakfast. The town, it seemed, brought out the shy omega's voice, and he lit up while sharing his home with Victor. It was beautiful to see. Though it was still difficult for Victor to adjust to this idea of _'shy Yuuri'_ , but he could still see the shyness in the omega, even while he was happily walking around the snowy town, eyes crinkling at the edges as he smiled beneath his blue-framed glasses.

Yuuri had taken Victor to see Minako's dance studio where he practiced ballet on a regular basis, and he had already met Minako, of course, and then the omega had taken him around the other places they would regularly be spending time around the small town. They visited the skating rink, Ice Castle, and he met Yuuko and Takeshi Nishigori, and their cutely-named triples: Axel, Lutz, and Loop. Victor almost sighed in relief upon meeting Yuuko's husband and children, after hearing Yuuri sing her praises and discuss their long-standing friendship, he had been getting quite jealous.

They ended up on the rather lonely stretch of beach at the edge of the town that Yuuri liked to do morning or evening runs around. There was snow covering the sand still, it hadn't melted yet, and anytime the frothy surf danced at Victor's feet, he could feel it's icy fingers brushing through his socks and running shoes. They couldn't exactly sit anywhere on the beach without freezing their behinds off, but as they had made a circuit of the shore, and were heading back up to the cement sidewalk that ran parallel to the coastline, through the tall beach grasses, Victor scooped up a handful of sandy snow and tossed it at the omega walking obliviously ahead of him.

The snowball pelted Yuuri right on the back of his neck and the alpha laughed as the omega jumped and turned to spot the source of the icy snow now melting down his back underneath the lumpy sweater he had swathed himself in before leaving the cozy, warm inn.

Yuuri frowned before scooping up his own snowball and tossing it towards Victor, but the alpha caught the snowball neatly in his gloved hands and chuckled at the wide-eyed omega, "You'll have to try better than that to best a Russian Ice Skater in a snowball fight!"

Victor took off back towards the beach, away from the path they had been climbing towards, and gathered snow balls as he went, forming them quickly and tossing them haphazardly behind him as he went, looking for a shelter to hide behind.

Yuuri spluttered and ran after the alpha, shocked, but pleasantly surprised to be shown the skater's playful side, when in front of cameras, competitors, and crowds, he was always so serious or casually flirtatious. This is what he had wanted to see, this is how he had wanted to get to know Victor, and he could feel the rightness of his choice to get to know each other before initiating any sort of courting, settling in his heart as he chased Victor across the beach, not stopping to gather his own snowballs, and just waving his arms and laughing as he tried to avoid each flurry of snow that the alpha tossed back at him.

Victor ran underneath the small pier on the beach, up and safely away from the icy waves, but where the snow was still the thickest under the shade of the wooden planks, and took cover behind one of the large, supporting masts to the wooden walkway above, and started frantically making and stockpiling a small mountain of snowballs to create his snow arsenal.

Yuuri ended up sheltering behind the next mast over and made his own, albeit much smaller and crumblier, pile of snowballs while Victor made poor attempts at trash-talking him gleefully: ' _You call that a snowball? Makkachin could make a better snowball!' 'I'd win the gold medal in snowballs if there was one, you're not even making bronze medal snowballs!'_

Yuuri snorted at the alpha, pushing his glasses back up from the bridge of his nose, and called back, "Victor, catch!"

The omega started hurling snowballs at the alpha, most of them crumbling mid-toss, but a lot of the snow crashing into the mast Victor was hiding behind and spraying him with sandy snowflakes.

Victor hurled his own, firmly packed snowballs back at Yuuri, and eventually ended up coming out of his hiding spot to tackle the surprised omega into the snow. Yuuri gave a startled squeak, blushing to the tips of his ears as Victor landed on top of him, pressing him into the snow beneath his long, lithe body.

Victor grabbed a fistful of snow and ruffled it through Yuuri's soft, silky hair with a laugh, and crowed, "I win!"

The alpha leaned closer for a moment, sighing as he breathed in his omega's sweet scent, full and happy, and the omega's eyes fluttered shut, soothing as his alpha responded to the omega's pleased scent with his own, rosy scent, comforting and cheerful, blooming around them like fresh flowers. It was so, so difficult to distance oneself from a potential mate after sharing a rut and heat together, and even though they had agreed that there would be nothing more between them than a coach and student relationship, at least for the time being, it still ached to feel so close yet so far away from each other.

The omega's glasses fogged up from Victor's breath, from where the alpha lay on top of him, and he could feel his body responding needily to the weight above him. Yuuri squirmed and pushed Victor off of him, before his blush burned so bright it melted the snow around them, "V-Victor," he started, "You didn't win, you cheated!"

Victor pouted in the snow while the omega stood and blinked down at him, before spreading his arms and legs, and making a messy snow angel, grinning, and laughing, "Yuuri, come make a snow angel with me~"

Yuuri shook his head at the playful alpha, "So this is the famous Victor Nikiforov? Living legend of the skating world?"

Victor pouted again, sticking his bottom lip out, before grabbing at the omega's hand and jumping up to his feet, "Let's build a snowman, Yuuri~ Come on! I never get to play like this in Russia, Yakov is no fun!"

Yuuri rolled his eyes and followed his coach back up the beach, towards the path, before stopping to join him in building a small snowman, whom they used small pebbles to give a face to, and named, 'Salchow', or 'Sal' for short.

Victor couldn’t remember the last time he had smiled so much in one day, probably because there hadn't ever really been a time like the fun day he had spent with Yuuri. They hadn't even done anything special, really, just wandered around the small town and played in the snow on the beach, but it was everything to the alpha-Yuuri was everything.

When they got back to the inn, soaking wet and freezing, Yuuri's mother fussed over them. Yuuri looked embarrassed, but it made Victor feel good inside. He wasn't just in love with Yuuri, he was now in love with Yuuri's family, his home-now Victor's own home as well. They ended up bathing together in one of the warm pools outside, and Victor smiled at Yuuri's blush, the omega was flustered at seeing him naked once again even though they had seen each other naked before now, just last night.

Victor felt the desperate need to care for his mate welling up inside of him and it was getting more difficult to ignore now that they were grooming themselves in close proximity to each other. His hormones and instincts were still peeked from the rut he had been through last night and it was hard to completely shut off those primal thoughts and urges. _Surely Yuuri wanted the same thing?_ Even if he had rejected Victor, more than once, as a mate, he must want at least some care from the alpha he had spent his heat with?

When they got out of the onsen, Victor followed Yuuri to his room rather like a lost puppy, smelling of rosy pheromones, while he felt his thoughts pricking at him to follow and care for his mate. Yuuri turned at the door and paused for a moment before stepping aside and letting the alpha inside his bedroom again.

Victor stood, uncharacteristically quiet, by the closed door, uncertain suddenly, in what he was and was not allowed to do with the omega. But Yuuri took pity on him, thankfully, and sat in his desk chair before grabbing a comb and beckoning to the silent alpha over by the door.

Victor breathed out in relief, thank God, his omega was inviting him, allowing him, to groom him, take care of him, in some way, even if in such a small way-combing his lustrous, thick hair. Victor took the comb from Yuuri's soft hand and started combing the omega's hair.

Yuuri's hair was soft and silky, and so thick, and the comb's teeth dragged pleasantly through the damp strands. Victor couldn’t be sure but he swore he could hear a very quiet purr coming from the omega and he felt his own purr start rumbling in response through the room, soft in the dim light glowing like a halo from the lamp on Yuuri's desk. When he had combed the omega's hair so thoroughly that there was no longer any excuse for him to continue his ministrations, Yuuri silently reached back to grab the comb and place it on his desk.

"Victor," he whispered, turning to look at the lost alpha behind him, feeling longing choked by shyness inside of him.

"V-Vitya," Victor corrected quielty, "Please, Yuuri, when it's just you and me like this, call me Vitya."

Yuuri nodded, "Vitya," he replied, and Victor closed his eyes and sighed, feeling Heaven roll through him at the sound of his omega's quiet voice whispering his name so closely and intimately to him.

"I had a good time today," the omega whispered, blushing a bit and looking down at the floor to avoid eye contact with the tall alpha standing behind the desk chair still where Yuuri sat.

"Yuuri I," he sighed, almost heavily, "I honestly can't remember when I've had more fun, when I've been happier, than with you, today," Victor admitted, his voice almost breaking because he was so, so afraid after Yuuri's rejections that morning that he would say something wrong, do something wrong, anything that would bring another rejection from his mate.

Yuuri smiled and got up, taking the alpha's hand and leading him back over to the door of his room, "We can start training tomorrow if you'd like?"

Victor nodded absently, eyes flitting over to their nest on Yuuri's bed, and the sadness in his face caused the omega's heart to sink-that's right, _Victor didn't have a nest to go back to tonight._

"Vitya..." Yuuri felt his face heat up again in a blush, he squeezed the alpha's hand gently and swallowed at the way Victor was looking at him, like he was startled at the attention the omega was bestowing upon him. Yuuri felt shame curl in his stomach, he was shy, and the alpha's sudden appearance in his life, and then last night, it had all overwhelmed him, and he supposed he hadn't been exactly kind to this man, his idol-an alpha he was considering entering into a courtship with.

"Vitya, can I...would you..." Yuuri took a deep breath, feeling his face burning in a furious blush, it almost ached, but the alpha waited patiently for him to find his words, _he really was a kind man_ , "Do you want me to help you build a nest, for tonight?" Yuuri managed to squeak out.

Victor's eyes widened and he grabbed back at the omega's hand with a hard squeeze, he smiled, relieved, and breathed out a happy, "Yes, yes please! Yes, Yuuri!"

Yuuri smiled in response and they moved over towards their nest on his bed, while Victor held a finger up to his heart-shaped mouth in thought, appraising their nest and deciding what items could be removed from it without dismantling it. The idea of taking their nest apart, splitting it, was almost painful to Victor, but not nearly as painful as the thought of spending the night in a bare room, alone, with no nest at all. He stepped closer to the nest and his foot crunched on a pile of papers peeking out from underneath Yuuri's bed frame.

Victor reached down to grab at the papers his foot was on and the omega next to him startled, trying to knock his hand out of the way.

"No, no, no, Victor, don't!" Yuuri gasped, pushing his shoulder against the alpha's to try and keep him from grabbing for the hidden posters.

Victor took advantage of his longer reach and snatched the papers from under the bed easily, holding them up and staring at his own face looking back at him from about a dozen posters. There was a poster of him casually posing with Makkachin, there were posters of his performances when he was younger and had long hair, there was even a poster of his most recent "Stay Close to Me" skating piece, in his magenta uniform. _He was in Heaven. He was floating on clouds. He swore he heard harp music. Yuuri, his Yuuri, his omega, had hoarded posters of him in his bedroom~Yuuri liked him!_

He smiled so big his face ached, "Yuuri! You like me!"

The omega next to him was bright red and had his face hidden in his hands.

Victor laughed, "Yuuri, this is wonderful! I like you too, you know this!"

Yuuri groaned, mumbling from under his fingers, "Victor, I told you that I looked up to you, that you were my idol...ugh, this is so embarrassing," he finished weakly, scrubbing his face with his hands as if that would make the posters disappear from Victor's hands.

Victor smiled widely, lips making a perfect heart, and leaned over to press a barely-there kiss against Yuuri's warm cheek, "It's adorable, dorogoy  _(darling)_."

Yuuri squeaked when Victor kissed his cheek, flustered and feeling close to feinting in shyness. Victor tucked the posters back under the bed where they belonged and turned back to the nest again, not wanting to make the shy omega painfully uncomfortable, to decide what items we wanted to move to his room. _Oh! But how could he choose?_

Yuuri emerged from behind his hands, and started plucking at some of the pillows woven into the nest wall with blankets. Victor whined slightly, he hated the thought of taking anything away from their nest, really he did, even though the alternative was such a worse thought. He continued to remind himself of this while tugging one of the stuffed plushies from where it was nestled towards the base of the inner wall of the nest. The plushie had dried fluids on it, causing some small, crusty patches in the bear's soft fur, but they smelled of him and Yuuri together so strongly-he definitely wanted to cuddle against it tonight.

Yuuri lead the way into Victor's room across the hall, where he crinkled his nose up at the sad blanket laid out on the floor mat-what a lonely bed. Hopefully this would help; Yuuri hated the thought of his mate- _Victor_ -he hated the thought of Victor, his coach, Victor, being alone in this room without their nest.

"We'll have to order a mattress for you to pick up at the local department store," Yuuri hummed, before kneeling on the ground and arranging the blankets and pillows he had gathered around Victor's sleeping area, tucking and fluffing them into a very thin, but present, nest.

Victor sighed, thinking he'd be much happier just sharing a mattress with Yuuri, but wisely holding his tongue, he didn't want to upset the shy omega by pushing at his boundaries too much.

The alpha was, rather sadly, clutching the soft, teal bear he had plucked from their nest to his chest closely, feeling close to tears at the thought of his mate leaving him alone the night after they had shared a rut and heat together, even with the gift of pieces of their nest.

Makkachin came into the room, she had probably been wandering the inn most of the day, getting pets and treats from the residents, and curled up on the blanket Victor had laid down for her last night.

Yuuri stood to go and Victor laid down on the floor, trying to curl his long legs into the small nest around his sleeping area, holding the plushie to his face and mumbling a muffled, "Goodnight, Yuuri," not wanting the omega to feel pressured to stay with him by seeing the tears welling up in his eyes-though surely, the omega could smell the scent of unhappiness clouding up around the alpha, that he couldn't hide behind a stuffed bear.

Yuuri sighed a bit, "Goodnight, Vitya," before walking out of the room and closing the door quietly behind him.

Victor buried his face into the plushie, inhaling their combined scents deeply, and trying to trick his lonely mind into believing the warmth curled up next to him wasn't Makkachin, but that it was really his Yuuri, and that they were safe and happy together in their beautiful nest-the nest they had mated in together last night.

He whimpered sadly, before he heard a shuffling outside of his door and then, "Victor?"

"Yuuri~" he cried happily, leaping from the floor and running to hug his mate standing in the doorway- _his beautiful, beautiful, sweet mate who had come back for him!_

Later, Victor fell asleep blissfully, curled up next to his mate, purring, in their perfect nest on Yuuri's bed. Makkachin was sleeping on the floor next to their bed, supplied with pillows and blankets of her own.

Victor didn't even flinch when Yuuri murmured, "W-we should go back to sleeping apart after the hormones calm down, though." He couldn't even find it in him to care, he was in Yuuri's arms again tonight, and it filled his heart with such happiness.

Maybe they were in the middle of getting to know each other; they were in the middle of figuring out how to be around each other, as coach and student, as friends, maybe as mates one day, but everything would be just fine, everything would be alright.


	13. Chaînés 2: Hi! I'm Victor Nikiforov!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri and Victor wake up in their nest together and have breakfast. 
> 
> "Chaî·nés /shē-nā′/ plural noun: translates to "linked like a chain”. A series of small turning steps with the feet in first position relevé. Weight is shifted rapidly from one to the other limb with each half turn. Performed continuously in rapid succession" 
> 
> Songs: 
> 
> When You can't Sleep At Night by Of Mice & Men  
> Always In My Head by Coldplay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Please note: The conversation between Yuuri and Hiroko in this chapter, in Japanese, is listed as bold and italicized, but is written in English.

Victor woke in the night, feeling a bit disoriented until he remembered he was with Yuuri, in their mating nest. His frantic heartbeat slowed and he calmed himself by cuddling closer to the omega sharing the nest with him, nuzzling into his neck and breathing in his now-familiar, sweet scent. He couldn’t remember the bad dream that had woken him so suddenly, but it was probably one of his old stand-by nightmares, of his parents leaving him, or perhaps one of his newer terrors, that of his exes leaving him, Yuuri now standing in place of his exes-all of his nightmares ended the same though, no matter the subject, with him alone. But he wasn't alone now, Yuuri was here.  

Yuuri seemed to favor sleeping with a night light in the form of a dim lamp, it looked like a pink rock crystal, that was always glowing in the dark hours from the omega's nightstand. Victor pulled himself back from the omega and ran his eyes over the man's naked body appreciatively. All lustful intentions aside, the omega was very, very beautiful. Victor had seen Yuuri naked a handful of times now, between the mating night they had spent together and then bathing together, but he hadn't yet been able to just look and appreciate the omega's body.  

The omega was laying curled on his side, facing Victor, and in the soft light the alpha could see muted details of Yuuri's skin, glowing and perfect in imperfection. The omega had small rolls of pudge and natural chubbiness gathered at his hips and under his navel, also thickening his beautiful thighs. Spread across the extra weight were bumpy, white stretch marks, skittering along his flesh, telling stories of perpetual weight gain and loss, where it seemed in off-season the omega would bulk up before getting back to his leaner, competition weight during skating season.  

Victor thought the stretch marks were quite gorgeous, they glowed in the light like moonlight kisses; and while the omega did need to lose the extra weight to skate competitively again, to be at his best, he looked so breathtakingly beautiful with those curves softening his shape-Victor would definitely miss the curves when they were gone.  

Victor traced his fingers lightly up the omega's leg, pausing briefly at Yuuri's hip where an angry, painful looking bruise was splashed across the crest. He pursed his lips briefly, Yuuri would only get more bruises as they started up a regular practice schedule but that didn't mean Victor had to like it. Competitive skating ruined bodies, but it was in the pain, the tears, the blisters and bruises, that skater's earned gold and made history. But he could still want better for his Yuuri, he would try to take care of the omega through it all as best he could.  

The omega unconsciously started up a quiet purr at the alpha's gentle ministrations, and Victor felt happiness well up inside of him-he was pleasing his mate. He snuggled back up to the smaller man and wrapped his arms around the omega, nuzzling his nose into Yuuri's hair and feeling a responding purr thrum through his own chest. Purring was new and wondrous to Victor-he had never purred before Yuuri.  

He wondered if the omega had purred for anyone before, though the thought of his mate being so intimate with anyone else made his purr gutter into a bit of a growl and his fangs ache in his gums threateningly. He clutched Yuuri to himself tighter and the omega stirred, mumbling nonsensically in Japanese, before puckering his lips and cooing in his sleep-Victor hoped his mate was dreaming of sweet things.  

He buried his face against his mate's head and tried to calm his thoughts enough to go back to sleep. So very much had changed in such a short time, it was almost unbelievable. He had found his mate. He was trying to court his mate. He was a skating coach now. He was his mate's skating coach. He lived in a different country than Russia, where he'd spent all of his years till now. He had been in Japan for about 48 hours and had already spent a mating night with the beautiful omega in his arms.  

His whole life was changing-had changed-and while he had brought all this about himself it was still a dizzying lot to take in. And things also seemed so unsure for the future, and that really made him nervous. He didn't care for change in general, though surprise was the goal of his skating career, but his parent's sudden deaths had taught him to fear large changes in his life. While he liked to jump into his decisions with both feet first as it were, wholeheartedly and unabashedly, it was still frightening, he still needed time to adjust.  

It didn't help that he was resting his entire future on the shoulders of this seemingly fragile, yet resilient, omega before him-whom he believed to be his mate. Perhaps that was unfair of Victor to do, but he couldn’t see any other way forward in his own life without Yuuri's presence inexorably entwined with his path. In moments like those they had shared earlier, playing in the snow, and eating companionably together, Victor felt calm, confident, and even playful, which was a side he rarely let anyone see. In those moments, he felt Yuuri's presence in his life solidly, and everything didn't seem so unsure. If only he could stay in those moments forever, and not wake in the middle of the night from nightmares of abandonment.  

If his nerves were this bad while sharing their mating nest, surely out of Yuuri's pity for him, but he would take what he could get, then he didn't even want to think of what it would be like when they started sleeping separately like the omega insisted. He was sure his post-mating hormones were still messing with him, and would for another day or so, but his feelings felt so real, so vivid, even if he could mentally rationalize them away-he couldn’t talk himself out of the gut-wrenching heartburn or headaches brought on by his stress.  

Yuuri shifted in his arms and yipped quietly against the alpha's neck~ _how cute_! The omega continued to wiggle around and a low whine came from him instead of the content purring and Victor frowned, perhaps his stress had soured his scent and disturbed the omega's sweet sleep. He took some deep breaths and cooed at the omega in his arms, hands roaming back over Yuuri's plush hips and soft back, petting and tracing his bumpy stretch marks with his fingers lightly, "Go back to sleep, my love," Victor murmured into his mate's hair.  

Victor ended up soothing himself back to sleep in his efforts to calm the omega in his arms.  

*~~~* 

Waking up to Yuuri in the morning sunlight coming in from the window was a euphoric experience. The omega was cuddled in Victor's arms, his face turned into the alpha's neck, one arm tucked under the Russian skater's body and the other arm crossed between them over Yuuri's chest, and their legs were tangled together. Victor had always been an early riser, and he appreciated the opportunity to watch the sun rise from within their nest, the rays that filtered through the blinds creating a prismatic halo around his mate's dark hair, reflecting and bringing out different colors in the dark taupe strands. In the daylight, he could trace Yuuri's stretchmarks better with sight rather than just by touch, and he did so reverently, not knowing or caring to think of when or if he would have an opportunity like this again, depending on what the omega eventually decided about their courting.  

Yuuri talked in his sleep, in Japanese, and once or twice, Victor swore he heard his own name pass from the omega's lips within the mix of foreign words, but he didn't want to hope for it to mean anything. It was difficult to reign his emotions and wants back into check though, as Yuuri nudged himself deeper into Victor's arms and sighed sweetly, puffy breaths leaving the omega's plush, pink lips.  _Oh gods above_ _,_  the omega suddenly pressed himself against the alpha, grunting a bit, and pushing his morning erection against Victor's own hardness.  

Victor had been trying his best to ignore his own problem, planning on taking care of it in the bathroom when Yuuri finally woke, not wanting to leave their nest just yet. He tried not to feel guilty about his own erection, he wasn't trying to take advantage of the omega, keeping himself from rubbing against Yuuri's sleeping body, it was just the hormones still in his system from their shared mating causing these strong desires. But his fragile control went out the window and Victor moaned as Yuuri started rubbing their hardened sexes together, mumbling a sentence in Japanese and ending on his own breathy moan of what was definitely Victor's name- _Yuuri wanted him this morning too!_  

Victor squeezed his eyes shut and whimpered, he could smell Yuuri's slick heavy in the air between them, and he grabbed at the omega's hips, before jolting at a startled yelp, loud in the quiet dawn-he had accidentally pressed on the Japanese skater's rather large bruise and it had shocked the omega fully awake apparently. Yuuri blushed, his chest even dusting pink, and scooted away from the alpha before him, "V-Victor, I'm s-sorry, I-I didn't..." Yuuri stuttered, sitting up and reaching for his glasses from the windowsill behind him before curling his legs up to his chest in embarrassment.  

Victor sighed, feeling horrible, Yuuri had been asleep before, he should have known better.  

"I'm sorry, Yuuri, I didn't mean to-to take advantage of you," the alpha sat up, and his shoulders slumped in shame-well, one problem solved, his erection had softened.  

"Vitya, no, I'm a..." the omega broke off briefly to laugh awkwardly, "I'm a cuddly sleeper, or at least Phichit has told me so," he finished, bringing his hands to his cheeks shyly as his face heated more.  

Victor swallowed a sudden burst of venom, keeping silent so he wouldn't let a growl slip past his lips, the thought of Yuuri being a 'cuddly sleeper' with anyone but him hurting and twisting into his gut like a knife.  

Yuuri climbed out of the nest and started looking for clothes to wear, "We can get you a mattress today, okay? And then I won't be able to bother you again like this," he mumbled into his closet, embarrassment making his voice rather shaky.  

"It doesn't bother me. Don't ever think that you bother me, Yuuri," Victor breathed, feeling his heart sink at the thought that the omega really seemed to not enjoy sharing their nest.  

*~~~* 

At breakfast, Hiroko sat across from the quiet boys, looking a bit worried at their awkward silence and distance from each other.  

" _ **Why is Victor upset, Yuuri? Did something happen this morning?**_ " She questioned her quiet son in Japanese, nudging him to find out what had caused this while already trying to figure out how she could fix things for her shy, little omega. She had known Victor for a short time, but she knew this was the Russian skater Yuuri had been enamored of for most of his life. Victor had swept into their lives and he was so cheerful, kind, and a bit helpless-she loved him already. She knew he would be a good mate for her son, and was hoping her timid son would finally reach out and take something for himself for once, would take this alpha as his own mate-a mother could dream for her children.  

" _ **It's fine, we just need to get him his own bed today,**_ " was the only response she got from the quiet omega, mumbling back to his mother in Japanese, in between bites of fluffy, scrambled eggs and sticky rice.  

" _ **Why would your mate need his own bed? Is something wrong? Does he not want to nest with you?**_ " Hiroko pressed her son, worrying for her fragile-hearted baby.  

" _ **He's not my mate! He's just my coach.** " _Yuuri mumbled, pulling his shoulders in uncomfortably.  

" **H _e loves you,_ _Yuuri_ _. I can see it, even now. He came to Japan for you. I know you two mated, did he hurt you?_** " Hiroko worried.

 _" **Mom! Stop! I don't want to talk about this!**_ " Yuuri cried-this was the last thing he  _ever_  wanted to discuss with his mother. He had hoped since their rooms were separate from the rest of the family's living quarters and that since they hadn't spent the entire day following their mating in the nest, scenting each other, bonding, and generally giving into all the wants of their hormones and instincts, that their mating could have escaped his mother's notice. Apparently it really was impossible to hide anything from his mom.  

" _ **We love you, Yuuri.**_ " Hiroko sighed, before turning to Victor and switching to English for his benefit-he had been staring into his food bowl unwaveringly, trying to give them privacy even though he couldn’t understand their Japanese conversation, "What are your plans for today, Vicchan?" 

The friendly honorific made Yuuri wince a bit, reminding him of his poodle, Vicchan, and his anxiety continued twisting inside-his mother might as well be planning their wedding, he could tell she was set on the idea that Victor was to be a part of their family. He had never brought a potential suitor home, it was true, but then, he hadn't really brought Victor home, the alpha had come to him.  

The alpha had come to him. _Victor had come to Japan, to Yuuri-Victor had come to him._ Yuuri could have slapped himself. It was something he had known, almost conceptually, as if he were removed from the situation. He certainly remembered ruminating on that very thought the morning after they had mated, panicking that he had ruined Victor's arrival in Japan by seducing him into his nest-as if he could actually seduce anyone, he was the definition of un-sexy, whatever the alpha might have said or done in the haze of his rut, obviously just a hormonal reaction to Yuuri's own heat. And somehow Victor had come out of it thinking they were mates? He wanted to court Yuuri? They didn't even know each other! Not really, at least.  

_Why had Victor Nikiforov come to Japan? Was it really to court him? Did he actually have an interest in coaching him? Did he really have an interest in...courting him?_

Yuuri knew, once Victor did get a chance to know him, when he saw what a failure Yuuri was in every aspect of his life, the alpha would leave him-or that's what his anxiety kept telling him-over and over, until he felt constantly sick inside; especially since what he had almost done to Victor in his sleep this morning-he had almost pushed himself onto the unwitting alpha-how abhorrent!  

It was easy to feel hopeful, to think that maybe everything would turn out alright, when they were playing in the snow and cuddling in their nest, but in the light of the new morning, sitting at the breakfast table with his mother across from them, it was also easy to see how everything could fall apart in an instant, how fragile whatever they had budding between them really was. Yuuri would just do his best to not let his heart run away with his emotions. Victor was his coach, not his mate.  _Coach. Coach. Coach._   

Victor was chatting with Hiroko, discussing the exercise regime he was planning for Yuuri to get back into shape, perking up and cheerfully gesturing. Makkachin had made her way back to her owner, and was curled in the alpha's lap, whining for pets as he chatted.

Victor had let Makkachin out to go to the bathroom and had scrounged up some breakfast for her with Hiroko's help while Yuuri dragged his feet getting ready to come down and face Victor and his family at breakfast.  

"...don't you think so, Yuuri?" Victor's voice broke into the omega's internal monologue and he blinked.  

"I'm sorry, uh, what?" 

"I said, I want to learn Japanese. I think it would be a good idea and make life here a lot easier, don't you think so, Yuuri?" Victor repeated patiently, threading his fingers into Makkachin's fluffy curls and rubbing behind her ears while she lolled her tongue out happily.  

"O-oh, oh right," Yuuri mumbled, "Well, let's start with how to introduce yourself and say 'hi' to people." 

"Okay," the alpha chirped enthusiastically. 

 _How was he this_ _cheerful so early in the morning?_  

' _Hi. I'm Victor Nikiforov. I'm Yuuri's skating coach.'_ Yuuri tried to sound out for the alpha, in Japanese, slowly.  

And Yuuri tried not to let his heart jump and flutter with affection as he watched Victor practice the Japanese words diligently to Hiroko and every guest of the inn present for breakfast in the public dining area. 


	14. Arabesque 1: Bubbles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor and Yuuri settle into a routine in Hasetsu. Yuuri has his monthly period and Victor tries to take care of his omega. 
> 
> "Ar·a·besque /erəˈbesk/ BALLET noun: a posture in which the body is supported on one leg, with the other leg extended horizontally backward. The gesture leg is extended behind the dancer’s body at 90° or higher, which requires hip and spine hyperextension, knee extension, and ankle-foot plantarflexion." 
> 
> Songs: 
> 
> Magic by Coldplay  
> Fix You by Coldplay

' _Hi!_ _I'm Victor Nikiforov! I'm Yuuri's skating coach!_ '  

'Kon'nichiwa! _(Hi!)_ ' 

Victor chirped his well-practiced introduction and greetings in a combination of English and heavily-accented Japanese at every single passerby they encountered on their way to the beach to begin their morning with a brisk jog along the shoreline.  

The alpha recognized most of the inhabitants of the small town of Hasetsu by face now, and saved them from his full introduction, just happily saying 'Hi' in both English and Japanese as he passed them on his bicycle. If he didn't recognize someone, they got the full introduction, which the alpha was very happy to share-he thought his limited, very broken Japanese was pretty decent, even with a thick, Russian accent thrown in.  

It had been about two weeks since he had arrived in Hasetsu. He was now the proud owner of a bicycle and a new bed, both purchased via credit card at the nearest department store to Hasetsu.  

Yuuri and Victor had developed a daily routine now that went something like this: after breakfast at the inn, Victor would ride his bicycle to the beach while Yuuri followed on foot, there they would both jog along the shoreline until they reached the pier and then would double back. After that, they would bike/jog to Minako's ballet studio where they would do stretches together along with barre and floor exercises until lunch time which was generally a packed bento from Hiroko that they would share on a bench outside in the town.  

Afternoons were reserved for Yuuri's concentrated effort towards slimming his weight back down through various exercises and activities while Victor would skate at Ice Castle. If it was a very special afternoon, Yuuri would be allowed to watch Victor while he skated or to exercise off the side of the rink inside Ice Castle, but he wasn't allowed onto the ice until he had gotten back to his competition weight.  

They bathed in the onsen together after the rigorous afternoon's exercises, and Yuuri was still shy around Victor but seemed to be more comfortable around the alpha while naked in the onsen lately, even allowing the Russian skater to help direct him in stretches while nude, after the warm water had loosened his tense muscles. Dinner was had at the inn and Victor would generally spend the meal time pestering him, Hiroko, and any nearby, unsuspecting guests to teach him phrases and words in Japanese. And sometimes, if Yuuri hadn't fallen asleep at the dinner table in exhaustion, they would take a walk together back down to the beach, which seemed to have become a special place for them to spend time alone together. Normally, they didn't even talk much while on the shore, they just listened to the waves and enjoyed the other's presence.  

Victor and Yuuri were still sharing their nest at night, but neither of them spoke about it anymore. Yuuri wore clothes to bed now, to avoid akward, naked 'sleepy cuddles' as he referred to it. Victor obstinately continued to sleep naked, only stating that nothing about Yuuri's body would ever make him uncomfortable, but that Yuuri was, of course, free to do as he wished.  

But Victor's new bed, bought at the insistence of the omega, remained wrapped in plastic with brand new sheets folded and packaged up next to it, in his unused room that had become a storage place of sorts for his boxes and clothes that he had not yet unpacked. And if they continued to wake up every day, curled together in the center of their nest, legs tangled, and puuring softly in the morning's light, then they didn't need to speak about that either.   

This morning, Yuuri seemed- _off_? The omega was quieter than usual during their morning routine and while dancing, something he was normally very adept at, he seemed to stiffen up all over, his usual grace leaving his limbs. All of his stretches were taught and not fluid. At lunch, Victor unpacked Hiroko's bento from his backpack and pulled out two sets of chopsticks for them to share the food with, and Yuuri shook his head, whispering, "No thank you." 

Victor frowned, _hadn't the omega skipped breakfast too_? Choosing instead to only drink his mother's milk tea and to nibble at some rice crackers? Was Yuuri sick? 

"Yuuri, are you alright? You haven't eaten all day," Victor hummed, rubbing his free hand on the omega's shoulder comfortingly before scooping up some rice on his chopsticks and waving them through the air, making an airplane noise like when trying to feed a stubborn baby, and directing the bite towards Yuuri's pink lips.  

Yuuri raised his eyebrow at the alpha's antics, but opened his mouth and accepted the bite of rice all the same, "I thought I needed to lose all my weight because I'm a fat piggy?" 

Victor looked at the omega, shocked, _surely he hadn't hurt Yuuri's feelings_? "Yuuri, I only want you to slim down to your competition weight so you can perform your best, you know this, dorogoy  _(darling)._  I think you're beautiful as you are. You know I just love your squishy tummy and those delicious thighs, detka  _(baby),_ " he finished with a sensual purr building in his throat at the thought of all the things he'd love to do to Yuuri's body to show the omega just how attractive the alpha thought he was.  

Yuuri blinked and a blush bloomed across his cheeks, "V-Victor, stop," he shuffled shyly away from the alpha on the bench, "I-I just don't want to eat today, my stomach is upset and I'm not feeling well." 

Victor leaned back, giving the omega some space, "Alright, do you want to skip exercising this afternoon and just soak in the onsen and do some stretches?" 

Yuuri looked at his feet, "Yeah," he mumbled, before getting up and beginning the walk back to the inn.  

"Yuuri, take the bicycle, and I'll walk." 

The alpha woudn't hear any of the omega's flustered arguments, and ended up following Yuuri on foot to the inn while the Japanese skater got the rare treat to ride the bicycle back to the inn.  

Makkachin was thrilled at their early return. Hiroko less so, she fretted over the quiet omega, shuffling him into the onsen and telling him she'd prepare some tea for when he got out.  

Some days Makkachin could follow along with Yuuri and Victor, at least to the beach, but most days the poodle ended up keeping the residents of the inn company. After Yuuri and Victor had gotten out of the onsen, they ended up sitting in the public dining area with fresh cups of tea and Makkachin whining for pets from both of them in turn.  

Yuuri's distance was starting to really worry Victor, not to mention the omega's minute flinches whenever the alpha got too close.  

"V-Vitya," Yuuri finally whispered, so quiet the alpha was sure he could be imagining it, glancing around at the omega next to him curiously.  

"I'm going to go to bed," Yuuri mumbled, sighing and finally leaning close to the alpha, resting his head on the taller man's shoulder.  

"But it's not even dinner time," Victor answered in confusion.  

"I know, I'm just going to lay down," Yuuri explained, before leaving his teacup and heading back to his room.  

Victor shrugged helplessly at Hiroko and followed the omega back to his room. Except, Yuuri wasn't cuddled into their nest like the alpha thought he'd find him-instead, the omega was mumbling anxiously to himself in Japanese and was dismantling their nest into separate piles on the floor of the room; and everything around the omega suddenly smelled too sweet, sour, almost bitingly so- _he was upset_.   

"Yuuri?" Victor almost yelped in hurt surprise, "Yuuri! What are you doing? Why are you taking our nest down?" 

"It's dirty. I need to clean it," Yuuri answered simply, as if it were the clearest thing in the world.  

And yes it was true that it was rather crusty and stiff with dried fluids. Yes, blood from Victor's fangs puncturing through his gums during the mating they had shared was still smeared across some of the sheets and blankets. Yes, it probably needed a good washing; but, Victor had thought Yuuri would discuss this with him before just taking their nest apart entirely.  

Victor trailed after the diligent omega, feeling more than a little dazed and quite unsure, as he brought loads of their laundry back and forth to the washroom down the hallway from their rooms, cleaning everything with vinegar and tea tree oil to kill bacteria and baking soda to rid the fabrics of the thick, cloying scents their mating had laid upon it.  

Eventually, everything from their nest and Yuuri's bed had been washed, dried, and replaced into neat piles back onto the clean mattress. Yuuri turned his attention to the rest of his bedroom, tidying and cleaning things that already looked neat and clean to Victor, so he sat on the floor by the open door and watched the omega work, not wanting to get into his way but not wanting to leave him alone either, since he had said he wasn't feeling well earlier- _what if Yuuri needed his help_? 

Yuuri seemed to finish up around when Hiroko was calling them down for dinner, and Victor went down with the omega to the dining area. She made Yuuri a light dish of steamed rice and vegetables, accompanied by some more milk tea, and he ate it all up, much to Victor's relief. The omega's steadily distressed scent didn't dissipate, though, and it bothered Victor all through dinner, his nose twitching while his own scent glands tried to release soothing pheromones around his mate.  

After dinner, Yuuri went quietly back to his bedroom and Victor followed.  

Yuuri made up his bed with clean sheets, blankets, and pillows, and neatly folded and put the extra nesting materials back into his closet. Victor thought he might have seen a microfleece blanket that looked oddly like it had his own face on it peeking back at him from the pile of clean blankets but didn't want to press the obviously distressed omega anymore than need be, so stayed quiet, and sat in the chair by Yuuri's desk, his offers to help re-make the bed, and their nest, declined.  

When he finished, the omega walked over to Victor and held out the soft, teal teddy bear Victor had selected for himself from the nest the night he had thought they'd be sleeping separately, "I washed her, so her fur isn't sticky anymore," the omega said simply, offering the bear to the alpha.  

"Thank you, Yuuri," Victor responded quietly, "I appreciate you cleaning everything, that was very kind of you," he tried softly, pleased when he saw the omega's cheeks blush in happiness at the compliment.  

"I know our nest is gone, but, may I still sleep with you?" The alpha asked timidly, praying for a positive response.  

"Yes," Yuuri whispered, before turning and burrowing into his bed, under the blankets, and cocooning himself so that all Victor could see was a tuft of black hair poking out onto the omega's pillow.  

Victor smiled at the omega, _he was so cute_ , and shut the lights off until only the nightlight was glowing softly into the dim room, and pulled his phone out of his pocket to set on the nightstand. He took off the inn's green pajamas he had been lounging in and left them in a pile on the floor before getting into bed behind the omega, and scooting forward to wrap the smaller man within his arms, aligning their bodies closely.  

"Is this alright, moya lyobov' _(my love)_?" Victor murmured close to the shell of the omega's ear, before brushing his lips against it in a fluttering kiss, barely there, not enough to make Yuuri shy away, hopefully.  

Yuuri stayed silent but nodded, giving his consent by cuddling himself back against the alpha, uncharacteristically close, this night.  

They fell asleep early into the evening, listening to the sounds of the inn, the crickets and frogs outside, starting to come out for Spring now that the snow had melted, and to eachother's steady breathing, perhaps the most comforting sound of all in the still space.  

*~~~* 

Victor woke the next morning to a whine. Yuuri was curled up into a ball, hugging his knees to his chest, and whining quietly into his arms. The alpha's nose twiched, he scented the coppery smell of blood, and he jerked upright, "Yuuri, Yuuri! Are you hurt? Where are you bleeding from?" 

Victor's eyes widened, as he looked down to the sheets and saw blood smeared in small puddles around the bed, some of it even having dripped onto his own legs, sticky and thick with what appeared to be mucus or clots?  

Before the omega had a chance to answer, the alpha had reached over to grab his cell phone, "Yuuri, how do you call the ambulance in Japan? You're bleeding! We need to get you to the hospital!"  

A strong cloud of scent, smelling of embarrassed omega, suddenly alerted his senses and Victor paused, "Yuuri? There's nothing to be ashamed of, you're hurt, but we'll get you fixed, please don't worry. Now how do you call the ambulance here? Does Hasetsu even have a hospital?" 

"Victor, stop," Yuuri groaned finally, patting the alpha's frantic fingers as they typed away at his phone's screen, looking for emergency medical services in Hasetsu, "It's just...It's just my-it's my period, Vitya," Yuuri managed, hiding his face back in his hands and whining in embarassment and pain as the cramps tore their way through his body.  

"It comes two weeks after my heat, so since I, well, since we m-mated...," he could barely get the word out past his trembling fingers, he cleared his throat and tried again, "...Since we mated earlier in the month I should have realized my period would come earlier as well, now my cycle is changed by two weeks...again," he finished in a mumble. 

Victor's mouth rounded with a soft _'Oh'_ of understanding before he got out of the bed and started putting the inn's green pajamas back on.  

Yuuri winced, "I'm so sorry Victor, I know it's disgusting. I didn't mean to get it everywhere, I just wasn't thinking and-" 

Victor interrupted the awkwardly babbling omega, "It's not disgusting, Yuuri. You could never be disgusting. Your body is not disgusting, it's beautiful. You can make life inside of you, moya lyobov'  _(my love)_ , and that's a beautiful thing." 

"B-but, I, you-" Yuuri tried again, but Victor stopped him, "Yuuri, no. Not disgusting. Now I'm going to the store, dorogoy  _(darling),_ what should I get you aside from um," he paused, looking back at his phone screen, and typing something in, before looking back up and continuing, "Okay, chocolate, menstrual pads, tampons, or do you prefer the cloth kinds? Or perhaps the organic cotton?"  

"No matter, I'll actually just get you some of everything they have and then you can use whatever you like the best," the alpha cheerfully continued, finding his wallet and credit card on Yuuri's desk, and rushing right out of the room while the omega stared completely dumbfounded after the retreating man- _what? Victor was going to the store to get him menstrual products and chocolate? What?_

Victor returned, still in his pajamas, about an hour later with four completely stuffed grocery bags full of more things than Yuuri could ever want for his period. Yuuri had, embarrassingly enough, not even felt up to changing out of his soiled sweats or cleaning the dirty sheets. He had just curled up back under the blankets and whined as Hiroko brought him up some tea and scrambled eggs, telling Yuuri that Victor had just rushed through the kitchen, telling her to bring the omega some 'comfort food' since his period had started- _great, just what he wanted his mom knowing._

"Yuuri~I found the best things at the store! I just love how charming your local grocery store is," Victor chirped happily, before upending the bags of stuff onto the blankets while Yuuri sat up and rubbed his eyes under his glasses, grumbling a bit, "You're ridiculous, Vitya." 

Victor brushed off the grumpy omega's words and proudly showed Yuuri all the things he had purchased. He had bought about four different kinds of menstrual pads _("There were so many, Yuuri! And some of them have 'wings'? I don't know what that means but I thought it sounded special so I got those too~")_ , three different boxes of tampons _("These seemed to be more comfortable to put in, just with your finger, Yuuri~look how tiny they are! But this box was blue, and I love that they had that instead of it all being just pink!")_ , too many kinds of chocolate bars to even think about _("Did you know they make those 'Kit Kat' bars in green tea flavor? How fun!")_ , and finally, a random assortment of things the alpha thought might be useful to 'cheer his Yuuri up'.  

There was a plush of 'Olaf the snowman' from the Disney movie Frozen, which Victor happily told Yuuri reminded him of their snowman, Sal, they had built on the beach together. He had also found a bottle of bubbles and Yuuri looked at them bemusedly, "What are the bubbles for?" 

"Yuuri~they looked like so much fun! I've never played with bubbles before but Akino-San, you know that nice, old lady that is always watering the plants outside of the store in the morning? Well, she said that you can blow through small wands indoors or outdoors and they make shiny, soap bubbles in the air to dance around! I remember seeing these when I was small but I never had any or really knew where to get any to play with." 

Yuuri sighed, honestly feeling tears well up in his eyes, Victor was so kind-hearted and had the innocent nature of a child at times-he couldn't believe the alpha was still here even after two weeks of being around Yuuri almost non-stop, but he was, and the omega felt his heart squeeze with overflowing affection for the Russian man.  

"You didn't have to do this, Vitya," Yuuri whispered, voice cracking a bit with emotion, he couldn't remember a time when someone had taken care of him quite like this, and it moved him.  

Victor took the bubbles from Yuuri's hands and cheerfully opened the lid to fish out the plastic wand inside, "Well, the bubbles were really for me, if we're being honest, love," he laughed, his whole face lighting up with joy as he blew a stream of small bubbles at Yuuri.  

The omega laughed too, eyes crinkling, not noticing as some small tears did escape at the corners of his gaze, and he managed to poke at all of the bubbles Victor had blown until they were all popped.  

"Yuuri," Victor whined and pouted adorably, "No popping my bubbles! That's an order from your Coach!" 

But Yuuri just laughed and tried to poke every single bubble Victor blew.  

Victor finally gave up and put the small, plastic bottle of bubbles on the nightstand and clapped his hands, "Alright, no practice today! Now let's get you cleaned up and start on that chocolate, hmm, dorogoy  _(darling)_?" 

"Vitya," Yuuri called, grabbing the alpha's hand before he could get off the bed, he entwined his fingers with Victor's and leaned forward to press a shy kiss to the Russian's cheek, "Thank you," he murmured, lips still warm and close to the alpha's face, lingering a moment longer to scent the comforting smell of roses all around. 


	15. Arabesque 2: I Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor continues to care for Yuuri and things get steamy. 
> 
> "Ar·a·besque /erəˈbesk/ BALLET noun: a posture in which the body is supported on one leg, with the other leg extended horizontally backward. The gesture leg is extended behind the dancer’s body at 90° or higher, which requires hip and spine hyperextension, knee extension, and ankle-foot plantarflexion." 
> 
> Songs: 
> 
> Closer by Tegan and Sara  
> Gooey by Glass Animals  
> All Around Me by Flyleaf  
> Grace by Kate Havnevik

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Please note: Yuuri and Victor have a sexual encounter in this chapter, while Yuuri is menstruating, but there is no blood described in the sexual scene.

Victor smelled the spicy, but soothing, scent of cloves and peppermint as he rubbed the healing balm into his omega's naked hips, and sighed-he could also smell a feint waft of pain from his Yuuri and he wished it weren't so. The omega was on day four of his period and while the bleeding seemed to be tapering off, he was still experiencing some vicious cramps. Not that Yuuri would openly share any of this with Victor, but the alpha was paying extra close attention to his omega, especially since the stubborn Japanese skater had insisted on being able to return to regular exercise and practice on day two. Victor didn't care if every menstruating person went through this every month, he didn't care if Yuuri was 'used to it', he didn't want his omega in pain, and didn't want to ever add to that by forcing his strenuous exercise regime on Yuuri when he already wasn't feeling his best.  

Yuuri told him he'd have to get used to it too, if he continued coaching him-a _s if Victor would want to stop coaching Yuuri_ -that this would happen monthly and he would have to be able to continue practice as usual, and perhaps even prepare to go through a competition or two while on his period as well. Well, Victor could get used to it- _maybe_ -but he didn't have to like it; and he certainly would still try to do whatever he could to help his omega through it.  

Before bed, Victor insisted Yuuri let him massage his aching muscles with this balm, before putting his pajamas on. Yuuri grumbled but complied, laying still for the alpha on the bed, naked, while Victor started rubbing his body with his strong hands.  

"Is it normal for the cramps to go on this long, Yuuri?" Victor questioned softly, worrying at the tense muscles and knots under his hands.  

"Well, no, but normally I..." Yuuri tensed his shoulders and coughed into the pillow a bit, wiggling uncomfortably underneath the alpha.  

Victor was distracted for a moment by the sight of Yuuri's smooth scrotum, plump and set so delectably between the omega's thighs, flushed pink and shifting slightly as the omega squirmed underneath him. It looked like a pink, bunny rabbit's tail, and Victor was hard-pressed to not wreck the delicate omega beneath him, but neither of them said anything as Victor's cock hardened and rested thickly against Yuuri's lower back.  

"What, Yuuri? What do you normally do?" Victor pressed, wanting to do anything to help the omega.  

"N-nothing." 

"Yuuri, tell me," Victor whined. 

"No. It's nothing, Victor. I-I'm not telling," Yuuri mumbled back, feeling childish, as his ears blushed so hard they hurt.  

"Fine, I bet Google will know what I can do to alleviate stubborn period cramps," Victor sang, grabbing for his phone and climbing off of the omega while Yuuri flustered and flapped his hands at the alpha, whining for him to stop.  

Yuuri flipped them, pinning Victor down to the bed, causing the phone to fall out of his hand, and ended up straddling the alpha's hips. When Victor's hard length twitched and jumped at the sudden pressure on top of him, Yuuri suddenly realized the position he had put them in-both naked, while his torso leaned over the alpha's, sexes aligned, one soft and one hard, and the omega's hands gripping at the alpha's wrists and holding them to the mattress above his head. Yuuri met Victor's eyes and blushed, trying to say something and failing to make any words come out.  

"What is it that you need, kotyonok  _(kitty)_ ," Victor purred, tilting his hips upwards suggestively, pressing his hardness against Yuuri's own stiffening sex.  

Yuuri jumped off of Victor immediately, like a spooked animal, and whined as he tried to hide himself under the blankets the alpha was still laying on. Victor blinked- _what had just happened_?  

"Yuuri, sweetheart, what's wrong? Was that too forward of me?" Victor sat up and patted his hand against the balled-up omega now covered under the blankets. He heard muffled words coming from the blanket lump but couldn’t understand them. He pulled the blankets up and chuckled quietly when the shy omega hissed at the light coming into his safe blanket-cocoon, "Kotyonok  _(kitty)_ _,_ indeed," Victor laughed, even as Yuuri just pouted at him and stuck his lip out.  

Victor's heart ached, he knew he was always way too forward with the shy omega, constantly internally battling against throwing himself at Yuuri and holding back, not wanting to pressure him. But he wanted him so very badly, in every single way, and wanted to make sure the omega never had doubt of Victor's feelings.  

Victor sighed and tried to coax the omega from under the blankets, "Dorogoy  _(darling)_ , come tell me what's the matter, my sweetheart." 

Yuuri grumbled under his breath and Victor cooed at the grouchy omega, "You're so cute, moya lyobov'  _(my love)_ ," Victor knew he was laying it on thick but he couldn't help it, he was so gone for Yuuri.  

"What are all those,  _those things_ , you keep calling me?" Yuuri finally managed to grumble out coherently, enunciating and speaking up from within his blanket cave.  

"Ah, ah, ah, moya lyobov'  _(my love)_ _,"_ Victor teased, "I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours," he lilted in amusement.  

Yuuri muttered something and Victor replied cheerfully, "What was that, kotyonok  _(kitty)_ _,_ I couldn't hear you?" 

Yuuri practically growled but spoke clearer this time, "Normally, I masturbate to get rid of the cramps, but since you've been sleeping in my bed I..." Yuuri trailed off, losing his courage, and pulling the blankets out of Victor's hands to hide himself again.  

 _Ah._  Victor felt a flood of hurtful shame-he had been unintentionally keeping Yuuri from doing what he needed to make himself feel better. It also hurt to realize Yuuri wasn’t comfortable enough around him to even bring anything sexual up without immense prodding, so to say, from Victor, after all they had shared together so far.  

"I'm so sorry, Yuuri," Victor murmured, brushing his hand in a soft pet over the Yuuri-lump under the blankets, before getting up to leave the room and go- _well, he wasn't sure where he'd end up-his own bed for once, or a bar? Hard to say._  

Yuuri sat up under the blankets and pulled them down so that they hung around his naked hips, "Victor, wait," Yuuri called to the retreating alpha.  

Victor turned and met Yuuri's gaze, the omega was red, but had an unusually confident expression on his face, meeting the alpha's stare steadily-Victor liked this side of Yuuri, and it so rarely appeared.  

"Vitya, I-I, that is, would you consider, um, helping me? It's just that, well," Yuuri looked down, breaking his gaze, and fidgeted nervously with the blankets, "I wasn't sure how to...or if you would even want-" 

Victor mercifully interrupted, striding quickly back over to the omega, catching his blushed face in his hands and tipping his head back to place little kisses on his forehead and fluttering eyelashes, "Yuuri, of course I want that, I'll always want you, detka  _(baby)_."  

"I-I mean, I know we mated together but that wasn't really planned and we, well, we haven't talked about anything more because, I mean, I'm still thinking about everything, and-"  

Victor shushed the babbling omega again with a soft kiss to his lips, "Yuuri, my sweetheart, I will tell you as many times as I have to, but I want you, always, never, ever doubt that."  

"I'm still thinking about things, and I don't want t-to use you or, or anything," Yuuri managed, lips still pressed against the alpha's, feeling guilt pool in his stomach- _he was disgusting_.  

"I am yours. I will always be yours and I don't mind waiting for you," Victor answered simply, as if it was the easiest thing in the world.  

Yuuri curled in on himself, all of his temporary confidence from earlier crumbling, "A-actually, n-nevermind, I didn't really, well I didn't really think this through..."  

Victor frowned, sitting across from the omega, and placing his hands on Yuuri's knees warmly, rubbing softly in soothing circles to comfort-he could smell Yuuri's sweet scent souring with anxiety, "We don't have to do anything you don't want or aren't ready for, Yuuri, we don't have to do anything at all, I just want to help you. But if you need me to leave so you can, ah, take care of yourself, I'll understand," Victor soothed.  

Yuuri covered his face with his hands and muttered something into his fingers.  

"Let me see your pretty eyes, kotyonok  _(kitty)_ _,_ _"_ Victor murmured, tugging Yuuri's hands down and lacing their fingers together, pulling another small squeak from the omega at the intimate act of affection, "Now tell me what you want and I'll give it to you, anything, Yura," the loving diminutive slipping off Victor's tongue without his notice.  

Yuuri nudged his face against Victor's collar bones, nuzzling and scenting the alpha to gain some confidence again through the comfort of his velvet roses clouding around, "I want you t-to help me, u-um orgasm," he managed, stuttering the entire way through, "B-but I d-don't want it t-to, you know, have to mean anything for where we are in our-uh-relationship? I don't want it to ruin you coaching me if we keep doing t-things, together. I mean, are we even going to mate together again? A-and, I don't want it to hurt you that I'm still thinking things through, but I-I really c-care about you, um, V-Vitya, and it's just-it's hard for me, t-to talk about things like this," the omega finished, sighing in frustration over how difficult it was to get that all out, but feeling mildly proud of himself all the same for managing that much, thankful the talkative alpha had let him get through it all. Suddenly, he remembered a dark afterhtought, why he had felt so disgusted with himself earlier.  

"A-also, um, w-we don't have to do anything today, I mean, I'm still on my period, which I know is why this all came up," the omega laughed nervously, "B-but I mean, I know that's not everyone's-uh-cup of tea? And I don't expect you to-" This time, Victor stopped Yuuri's babbling, since it was clearly spiraling into self-depreciation and he wouldn't have anyone insulting his Yuuri, not even Yuuri himself.  

Victor squeezed Yuuri's hands in his and placed a quieting kiss on his babbling lips again, chaste and overflowing with affection. Yuuri hushed and tucked his head back under Victor's chin, trying to calm himself and let the alpha speak, fighting tears in his anxiety. Victor felt Yuuri's shoulders shake and grabbed the smaller omega tightly, pulling him onto his lap and wrapping him in a warm hug, cooing and peppering small kisses over his naked shoulder, neck, and reddened ear.  

"My Yura," Victor started in a whisper, lips brushing the shell of Yuuri's blushed ear, "Let's see, we'll start at the beginning, alright?"  

Yuuri nodded, nudging his face deeper into Victor's shoulder, and settling in against the alpha, ignoring the burn of the hot tears squeezing from the corners of his eyes.  

"Alright, sweetheart. So, I want to help you orgasm too, in whatever way you're comfortable with. You being on your period doesn't matter to me a bit, kotyonok  _(kitty)_ _,_ as I said before, it doesn't disgust me," Yuuri shifted in his arms slightly and Victor placed a quick kiss right on the omega's scent gland, smiling as he felt the shy man shiver pleasurably in response, "You and I continuing to engage in sexual activities together," he squeezed the omega when he squeaked in shyness at that, "Yes, detka  _(baby)_ , I want to and hope that we will continue to experience an intimate, physical aspect of our relationship together. And that won't affect my coaching you, I mean, I'm sure I'll continue to be distracted by you're gorgeous backside in your exercise clothes-" Victor laughed as Yuuri huffed indignantly and lightly slapped at the alpha's side, "But that can't be helped. I think I wouldn’t be able to look away from your beauty even if I wasn't allowed to touch," he emphasized with a rather forward squeeze to Yuuri's soft, ample behind, bringing another startled squeak from the omega in his lap.  

"Now," Victor's playful tone grew more serious, and he felt Yuuri tense in his arms in response, so he rubbed his hands comfortingly up and down the omega's shoulders, "Now, my Yura, I-you really can't know how much it makes my heart soar to hear that you care about me," he pressed another kiss to the omega's face, pausing to nuzzle the warm flesh a bit before continuing, "You know I care for you too. And as such, I will wait for you to be ready to let me court you. I can't promise I will always wait patiently, but knowing you're interested and are even considering it will tide me over while I wait. But you set the pace, and I will follow." 

Yuuri pushed his face against Victor's neck and mumbled, but the alpha could hear and understood, "How are you so...?" 

"How am I so, what, Yuuri?" Victor asked, nearly dreading the answer- _how was he so much? Too much? He had scared the omega away, right?_  

Yuuri pulled back from Victor, met his gaze, and said surely, no stuttering, "How are you so perfect, Vitya?" 

Now Victor was blushing, he shook his head, eyes wide, "I d-don't know about that," It was his turn to stutter, overwhelmed with the clear emotion in Yuuri's words.  

Yuuri wiggled in Victor's lap, and the alpha whined, his soft cock hardening again as their intimate position suddenly came to the forefront of his mind, "Ah, kotyonok  _(kitty)_ _,"_  he groaned, "What you do to me..." Victor trailed off, leaving open-mouthed kisses along Yuuri's shoulder and neck, nuzzling his scent gland before boldly sucking at the flesh, thanking every deity that he was allowed to do these things with the skittish omega in his arms.  

Yuuri moaned, loudly, and turned his body in Victor's lap so that he was once again straddling the alpha's hips, lining their sexes together, "I-I don't know how to-I don't know what to do, Vitya. B-before, that was different, I-I let my instincts take over," Yuuri moaned breathlessly, gasping and stuttering while the alpha continued to suck on his heated skin, moving from his puffy, sensitive scent gland to his soft earlobe, covered in downy fuzz like a peach. 

"Let me show you everything I know," Victor purred against Yuuri's ear, licking the shell and nipping at the soft lobe before chuckling lowly, "Well, maybe not  _everything_ , right now," he amended.  

Victor laid back on the bed and position Yuuri above his pelvis so that their erections were lined up, pressing together, his hands on the omega's hips, holding tight, "Alright, Yura, what are you comfortable doing right now?" Victor questioned, not wanting to push against the omega's comfort level.  

"N-no, um, actual s-sex, I mean..." Yuuri stuttered, his blush reaching his pretty, pinked nipples, Victor watching hungrily.  

"Alright, are you comfortable with external stuff?" 

Yuuri nodded, not trusting himself to speak at the moment.  

"And kissing seems to be alright, yes?" Victor asked, just to be sure. 

Yuuri nodded again, "W-when we're like this, yes." 

Victor hummed, storing that knowledge away, _good to know_. It stung a bit Yuuri didn't seem to be comfortable with physical affection in public, but then again, they weren't even courting yet, so that seemed about right, no matter how much it hurt to remember. But no matter his sensitive feelings, he didn't want to do anything to make the omega uncomfortable so he would respect his comfort levels and not kiss him in public.  

"Alright, kotyonok  _(kitty)_ _,_ are you wearing anything to catch your flow right now?" 

Yuuri shook his head, too embarrassed to answer out loud even though Victor had assured him multiple times it wasn't something to feel awkward about.  

"Good," the alpha purred, "Let's get some slick flowing to get things started." 

The omega whimpered, rocking forward on top of the alpha's hardness, dragging moans out of both of them. From what Victor remembered from the mating they had shared, Yuuri seemed to have quite an oral fixation. The alpha tapped Yuuri's lips with two fingers, and the omega groaned, opening his lips and eagerly sucking the offered penetration into his mouth, whining and suckling on Victor's fingers as arousal took over.  

The omega scented the air around them with his sweet, sweet smell, like sugary, yellow apples rolling through the orchard, falling off the branches in ripeness. Victor's scent clouded up in response, roses opening to the sunrise, blooming muted velvet on the breeze, petals kissing the light of day.  

Victor removed his fingers from Yuuri's mouth and smiled when the omega whined petulantly, pouting, until the alpha distracted him by reaching up and rubbing his damp fingers against Yuuri's pebbled, right nipple. Yuuri gasped, then pressed into the touch, arching his back beautifully, and moaning as his movement caused their sexes to press together in a grind.  

"That's it, moy sladkiy kotenok _(my sweet kitten)_ ," Victor husked out, voice becoming low and rough with arousal. He gave Yuuri more fingers to suck on, the omega started purring happily, it was quiet, as always, but Victor could feel the vibrations of the purr in his body, where Yuuri was rocking on top of the alpha- _he really did have_ _quite_ _the oral fixation_.  

Victor used his damp fingers to rub and even gently pinch at Yuuri's nipples, hardening the buds to stiff points-the omega had beautiful nipples, the areolas were a soft pink with brown tones, and were about an inch wide all around, and the nipple buds were darker brown and long when fully hardened and extended. Victor wanted to suck on them very much, but he had more important things to see to at the moment. He brought one hand to the omega's cleft, nose twitching as he smelled and felt another spurt of sweet slick splash out of Yuuri's opening and onto Victor's groin.  

Victor rubbed his hand through the slick, "You're so wet for me, Yura," the alpha cooed, smiling when the omega preened and purred louder at the praise.  

He rubbed the pad of his index finger against Yuuri's rippled entrance, wringing helpless whimpers from the omega on top of him while he felt the ring of muscles against his finger twitch and spasm at the pressure. Every time he rubbed his finger against the omega's entrance, pressing softly at each pass, he felt more slick squirt onto him, until his hand was dripping with the sweet, sticky liquid.  

"Can you rise up on your knees for me, sweetheart?" 

Yuuri looked confused but complied, eyes hazy with lust. Victor coated the plush crown of his cock in Yuuri's slick and then reached up behind the omega's soft, pink testicles to coat his perineum in slick as well. He held his cock upright and directed Yuuri back down with a hand on his hip, until Yuuri was sitting slightly forward on Victor's pelvis, with the alpha's cock slotted against the omega, the head pressing against Yuuri's taint.  

Victor grabbed Yuuri's erection with one hand and placed the finger of his other hand back onto the omega's entrance, rubbing gently at the rippled muscles, "Now rock your hips for me, Yura," Victor instructed softly.  

Yuuri bit his lip and moved his hips, moaning loudly at all of the sensations at once: a hand on his erection, a hard pressure at his perineum which was stimulating his prostate gland externally, and a soft pressure on his cloaca opening. Victor was everywhere around him, and Yuuri could feel his heart beating through his chest, his own deep purrs rumbling through him, and could feel blood pounding in his throat, pressure building in his scent glands as oil oozed from them and dripped down his neck. He felt so alive, so- _everything_. It was so different to experience this when outside of a heat, when he was fully coherent. It was overwhelming in the sweetest sense of pleasure, consuming, drowning him in passion.  

The omega continued rocking his hips-back against Victor's cock and fingers at his entrance, forward into Victor's hand, and biting his lips wasn't keeping any of his filthy moans inside. Yuuri felt a tugging in his gut, a sweet coil of pleasure, ready to spring, and cried out, "Vitya!"  

Yuuri squeezed his thighs around Victor's cock, shaking and stiffening as his orgasm ripped through him, and the alpha responded to the added pressure on his sex and splashed warm seed all over the omega's legs. Yuuri squirted arousal in spurts onto the alpha's legs and painted his chest with milky semen before collapsing forward, panting and burying his face against Victor's scent gland wanting the smell of roses to surround him like his alpha's arms.  

Victor turned his face to brush a kiss against Yuuri's damp hair, murmuring something above him Yuuri couldn’t understand, but he could feel the alpha's lips moving against him.  

"I love you, I love you, Yura, I love you," Victor whispered into the beautiful omega's hair, over and over, worshiping at his lover's altar.  


	16. Chassé 1: Flower Crowns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor and Yuuri attend a cherry blossom festival. Victor remembers his past, bad relationships and gets depressed. 
> 
> "Chas·sé /SHaˈsā/ BALLET noun: a gliding step in dancing in which one foot displaces the other. Translates to: “Chasing one foot with the other”. The leading foot slides forward into fourth (or side-ward into second), then with a spring off the floor, the stance limb draws up to it in the air, and the leading foot opens to land in fourth (or second). Used as a traveling or transition step." 
> 
> Songs: 
> 
> Clean by The Japanese House  
> To Die For by The Birthday Massacre  
> Zzyzx Rd. By Stone Sour  
> Middle of the Night by The Vamps & Martin Jensen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNINGS:
> 
> Alcohol usage while emotionally upset   
> Emotional insecurity 
> 
> *~~~*
> 
> Please see the beautiful artwork Bullsfish did for Chapter 16 here: https://bullsfish.tumblr.com/post/161968753084/victor-and-yuuri-laid-down-on-the-blanket-and

Victor bit his lip nervously, and Hiroko giggled at the anxious alpha and patted his shoulder, "Vicchan, I'm sure he will love your flowers, even if he is too shy to say it," she tried to assure him.  

It was the fourth week of life in Hasetsu for Victor. The very beginning of week one had held the reactive mating Yuuri and Victor had experienced together. The end of week two had seen the start of Yuuri's period, about 15 days after their mating to be precise. Now, near the middle of week four, they had about two days until their respective heat and rut would begin, and Victor, upon finding out the plans for the family to attend today's Hanami, the small town's yearly cherry blossom viewing festival, was plucking up his courage to ask the shy omega to be his date to the festival.  

Victor and Yuuri had discussed their feelings on courting together a couple of times by now and Victor knew Yuuri needed time and was still thinking everything through, despite them having mated together and then sharing another intimate encounter during the end of Yuuri's period. They even continued to sleep in the same bed every night, Yuuri's bed, though their nest was no longer up, and in fact, in about 24 hours, a new nest would be going up-hopefully a shared nest. Victor continued to sleep in the nude while Yuuri wore pajamas. They had bonded closer than Victor could have hoped for in these past three weeks together, certainly more than he felt he had ever bonded with a past dating partner.  

Yet, given all of that, despite all of that, really, Yuuri still hadn't accepted Victor's offer of courting. And while Victor said he would wait and meet the omega where he was at in that regard, patience had never been a strong virtue of his, and it did hurt his feelings though he tried to not let it, feeling almost like he was being rejected every day Yuuri didn't wake up and declare his returned love for Victor and desire to court.  

He knew Yuuri was shy, quiet, and was not likely to declare his feelings so obviously anytime soon. The Yuuri he had gotten to know and love since coming to Hasetsu was very different from the drunken, bold, confident Yuuri he had been smitten with at the Grand Prix Final last year. He loved both Yuuri's all the same, he really did love every aspect of the omega, but he feared their obvious emotional mismatch would lead to more heartbreak for himself and he just wasn't sure if he could bear that pain, especially not if it came from Yuuri who he was convinced was his true mate.  

They had experienced reactionary ruts and heats after encountering each other in close proximity twice now. He had purred for Yuuri and the omega had purred for him too, and Victor had never, ever felt happy or content enough with any other partner to purr before. And while he was a very emotional person, he really hadn't ever felt quite like this about anyone he had dated or had wanted to date in the past. Granted, most of his chosen romantic partners had turned out to be horrible, but that was aside from this matter-he was truly and fully in love with Yuuri Katsuki and each day he spent with the omega only cemented that truth deeper into his heart, his soul, his mind, his life-his everything- _Yuuri was his everything._  

He tried showing Yuuri his love and devotion daily, in gestures of care and consideration, in attention and time, and sometimes in silent presence, just being there for the omega as constant support. It seemed like they were on the right path together, but just that Victor was maybe several steps ahead of where Yuuri was, or at least, was more able to identify and communicate his feelings than the quiet omega was.  

Victor wanted to learn all about Japanese culture. He wanted to learn to speak, and maybe someday read, Japanese! He wanted to dedicate himself to embracing his mate's culture, homeland, and family-whom he felt were becoming his own home and family. When he had learned from Yuuri several weeks ago about Hanami, what it was, what it meant, and what to expect upon attending, he had immediate plans to ask the omega to go with him as his date.  

Now, weeks later, he felt even more strongly about wanting to experience the Hanami with Yuuri and his family. The festival was about welcoming Spring, and about new beginnings, and Victor wanted to start his life anew with Yuuri at his side. He wanted to be cleansed of the negativity from his past, the doubts and fears that clouded his mind and made him feel the need to rush Yuuri into accepting him for fear of losing his mate. He knew Yuuri was shy, and he certainly didn't want to pressure him, but he also thought his omega deserved to be treated specially, to know he was cared for-plainly put, Victor wanted to shower him in affection. So the alpha had gone to the one florist in the neighborhood and had ordered a custom-made crown of pink roses, to show his affection for Yuuri, and his opinion that the omega deserved to be crowned and coronated-Yuuri was the king of Victor's heart already.  

When Yuuri came down for breakfast, Victor would ask him to be his date to the festival today, while they, of course, would be accompanied by Yuuri's family. He was still nervous. Hiroko and Toshiya probably found his distress over their quiet, omega son a little too amusing. He had babbled to them nervously the night before after dinner, while Yuuri had been napping peacefully with his head in the alpha's lap, while Victor petted the omega's hair with his fingers softly and comfortingly. Yuuri was resting blissfully unaware of the alpha's nervous near-breakdown happening right in front of him.  

 _Yuuri would say no._  

 _Yuuri would think he was disgusting._  

 _Yuuri would think he was too much._  

 _Yuuri would think he was putting too much pressure on him about courting._  

 _Yuuri would think he was too clingy and needy._  

 _Yuuri would hate the flowers._  

 _Yuuri would think the flowers were unsuitable to wear because they were pink and_ _embarrassing_ _._  

 _Yuuri didn't want to be public about their affections because he didn't want to kiss in public._  

Victor's mind had run through fear after fear, most rooted in his past experiences with dating partners, while Hiroko assured the nervous alpha that she could tell Yuuri was as smitten with Victor as he was with Yuuri, that the quiet omega just didn't express it, that he never really expressed his feelings openly unless he had an anxiety attack in public or around his family which couldn't always be helped. Toshiya patted Victor's shoulder and offered him alcohol. _Great_. He just knew this was going to be a disaster.  

So when he saw Yuuri coming down the stairs and into the public dining area, his knees were shaking a bit, his hands were damp with sweat, and he almost felt like he had before his first ever public skating competition-and that was not a happy memory to think of.  

Victor went down to his knees, Yuuri's parents looking startled, and Hiroko asking after his wellness in worry, but the alpha held out the crown of pink roses in his hands, meeting the gaze of the omega who had stopped before him, mouth open a bit in surprise, "Yuuri, would you do me the honor of being my date today and wearing these roses for me?" 

Yuuri didn't say anything, but he nodded, and Victor thought the omega's eyes might look a little teary. He stood back up, feeling like he had just won his first golden medal with the joy bursting inside of him, and placed the crown of pink roses gently atop his omega's inky hair.  

"Vitya, I love them, thank you," Yuuri finally whispered, squeezed into a tight hug by the excited alpha.  

"I'm so excited, Yuuri! I've never been to a Hanami before and now I get to go with you and your family! Can we leave right after breakfast?" Victor bubbled, bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet with Yuuri still in his arms, jittering the omega with his excited movements.  

Yuuri laughed as they sat down to breakfast, Hiroko, Toshiya, and Mari joining them. It was rare for all of them to be able to share a meal together, but for the Hanami, they had actually closed the hot springs and the public dining room to the guests for the day, which didn't really matter to the guests as the majority of them would also be at the festival.  

"We'll go closer to lunch, Vicchan," Hiroko explained cheerfully, "I've packed a bento for everyone, and we can share our picnic under the cherry blossoms." 

"Wow! Really?!" Victor exclaimed happily, "Amazing!"  

"I bet Yuuri will look even prettier under the cherry blossoms than he does now wearing your pink roses, Vicchan~" Maria kicked in with a sly smile, causing Yuuri to blush and stammer while Victor nodded excitedly and agreed, "Oh I'm sure he will! Just like those pretty posters of him at the train station, look, I took pictures," the alpha gestured, holding his phone out and showing the family the pictures he had taken of Yuuri's posters, with the Japanese skater posing with a hand reaching out under clusters of cherry blossoms.  

Yuuri hid his steadily reddening face in his hands and grumped about silly alphas and mean sisters while said alpha cheerfully ignored him and showed off the pictures he had managed to catch of the omega in the past weeks, Mari snickering at her brother's embarrassment and Hiroko cooing at Victor's sweetness.  

"I'm going to post some of them soon on Instagram, but I haven't really checked into my social media accounts since I've gotten here, I've been-um-distracted," Victor finished with a mild blush himself, thinking how those words sounded to Yuuri's parents, but they only smiled as Yuuri shook his head shouting, "No! No pictures! No Instagram!" 

Victor turned his best puppy-dog eyes at the omega, "Yuuri please~?"  

Yuuri stayed stubbornly silent, arms crossed, ignoring his family's quiet laughter.  

Victor pushed his nose against the omega's, rubbing them together in an imitation of a 'bunny kiss', causing Yuuri to splutter and flap his hands at the affectionate alpha, "Please, Yura?" Victor breathed, mouth dangerously close to Yuuri's lips.  

The omega flustered and pulled himself away from the alpha, "We can talk about it," he grumbled, and turned and stuffed his breakfast into his face, wanting to avoid further embarrassing conversations in front of his family.  

When they arrived at the park where the Hanami was taking place, there were already blankets laid out everywhere under the blossoming trees, but the family found a nice spot for themselves, and Hiroko started unpacking the bento boxes for everyone. Victor fluttered around, stopping at some of the tables that had been set up, local artists selling paintings and souvenirs featuring cherry blossoms, while making sure to greet everyone in the town in his best Japanese. Yuuri let Victor escort him around until they settled on the large quilt with the rest of his family to eat lunch. Yuuri blushed and flustered a bit but allowed Victor to feed him small bites of steamed vegetables and broken-up fish onigiri with his own chopsticks; flashing his large, heart-shaped smile between each bite his omega allowed Victor to feed to him. 

After lunch, Yuuri took a small needle and white thread from his coat pocket and started collecting fallen cherry blossoms from the ground around them, stringing them with the needle into a small, petally, crown, held together with the white thread. Victor was a bit distracted, people-watching, and cuddling Makkachin in his lap, who had, of course, accompanied the family to the festival. The alpha was tucking small, pink petals into his poodle's fluffy curls when he felt a very light pressure on his hair. He looked up to see Yuuri smiling at him, and reached up to see what it was the omega had placed in his hair. He found a delicate, threaded-together crown made of cherry blossoms, so fragile he was frightened he would bruise the petals with his fingers.  

He let the omega place the cherry blossom crown back on his silver hair, definitely not as lush or big as Yuuri's pink rose crown, but nearly more dear to his own heart, because Yuuri had made this with his own hands, just for Victor.  

"Yura, thank you," Victor whispered, uncharacteristically quiet, as they sat on the blanket with Yuuri's parents and sister facing away, laying down to look up at the flowers above them. It was like Victor and Yuuri were in their own, magical world, surrounded by falling cherry blossoms and sunlight.  

Victor realized he had tears on his face when Yuuri made a concerned noise and reached up to wipe them away.  

"It's just that, no one's ever...I mean, I can't even tell you how much this means to me," Victor tried to explain, finishing with a small laugh, "I promise these are happy tears, dorogoy  _(darling)_."  

He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Yuuri's cheek, and Yuuri turned his head and met Victor's lips with his own, so brief the alpha might have imagined it, but his lips tingled warmly where the omega's had pressed upon them.  _Yuuri had kissed him. Yuuri had kissed him in public._ Well, everyone was ignoring them and looking at the cherry blossoms, but still, it was in public. Yuuri had made him a flower crown of cherry blossoms, which the alpha was determined he would figure out how to preserve to keep forever, and had then kissed him in front of the whole town under the cherry blossoms.  _He was in Heaven._  

Victor and Yuuri laid down on the blanket and looked up at the cherry blossoms above, forming a gorgeous, pink bower set against the clear, blue sky. They could only see small patches of blue sky between all of the clustered, pink blossoms, and when the wind would blow in from the nearby coast, it would rain pink petals upon them, dancing in the breeze through their descent. Victor had no words. It was the most beautiful, peaceful scene he had ever had the pleasure of viewing.  

Makkachin had curled up in between them on the blanket, and their hands met where both their fingers were tangled in the poodle's curls. Victor's heart fluttered, and he actually felt the beginning of a purr gently thrumming inside his chest- _what a perfect, perfect day._   

*~~~* 

That evening was not perfect. When they had returned to the Inn, Hiroko had helped Victor set out his cherry blossom crown to dry and preserve the delicate flowers so he could place them in a frame or shadowbox in the future. Yuuri had the flower crown of blue roses Victor had gifted him a while ago preserved and hanging from a bedpost in his bedroom already. The omega added the pink rose crown to his other bedpost to dry.  

But after dinner, when Victor and Yuuri would normally walk down to the beach or spend other time together, the omega disappeared without a word to the alpha. Victor had searched for Yuuri, but ended up sitting in the public dining room alone while Hiroko, Toshiya, and Mari went about their own chores around the Inn, getting it ready to re-open the hot springs and public dining room to guests the next day. It was so, so difficult to not let his anxieties eat at him, and he was losing this battle.  

 _Why had Yuuri just_ _disappeared_ _?_  

He knew he was nearing his rut, as Yuuri was nearing his heat, and hormones and emotions were running high-but it was difficult to quiet all the worst-case-scenarios that were currently running through his mind.  _Had he upset the omega? Was Yuuri angry with him? Was he hurt?_  

He had hoped, especially after how well today had gone, that they would be able to discuss their upcoming mating cycles; he had hoped that Yuuri would want to share his heat with Victor again, except more planned this time, no questions over the omega choosing the alpha, free of muddled instincts and hormones.  

But he was alone. And had ended up at the small bar inside the Inn's public dining room. Russian Vodka had found it's way into his hand, and the distraught alpha was drinking straight from the bottle, skipping the glass altogether.   

 _What was wrong with him? He always drove those he cared for away._  

Well, he knew what was wrong with him. He had been told, many times, by many people.  _Alyona. Katya. Grisha. Kostya. Nadia._ _Stas_ _. And most recently-Taras._   

 _He was too much. Too ridiculous. Too clingy. Too needy. His scent was too strong. His fans and fame from skating were too intense._ _He_ _had too much money to know what to do with. He was too standoffish. He was too egocentric. He was too sensitive. He liked to bottom too much for an alpha. Too irresponsible. Too flighty. His hair was too silver. His skin was too pale. Too_ _temperamental_ _. Too dramatic. Too, too, too much._  

He had been too much and not enough for males, females, alphas, omegas, betas, and every spectrum in between.  _Until Yuuri_. He thought he might be just the right mix of not too much and perfectly enough for the Japanese omega. But maybe not now. 

Victor sobbed quietly into his arm, getting tears and snot all over his expensive sweater, while Makkachin whined at him from where she lay around the feet of the stool the alpha was perched on.  

The bottle was almost empty now, and it had been almost full when he had started drinking. Victor only cried harder the more he drank, the alcohol wasn't helping to dull the pain in his heart. Yuuri had left him. Yuuri had left him after such a perfect day, a day of new beginnings, starting fresh from his past and forgetting his exes and what they had done to him. Forgetting what Taras had done to him and why he hadn't shared a rut with anyone since then.  _Until Yuuri._   

He passed out on the bar counter, and the Inn was quiet, it seemed most everyone had gone to bed.  

*~~~* 

Victor woke in the middle of the night, uncomfortably stiff from sleeping perched on a stool, mind still dizzy from how much alcohol he had drunk before passing out. There were cool hands on his face, and a quiet murmuring at his ear, "Vitya...Vitya...Victor, wake up, you fell asleep downstairs and it's time to go to bed now." 

 _Yuuri. It was Yuuri._  

 _Yuuri had returned to him!_  

Victor launched himself off the stool and into the startled's omega's arms, unfortunately causing both of them to crash into a pile on the floor. Victor landed on top of Yuuri and the omega grunted as the heavy alpha winded him. Victor groaned and rolled off of the omega, "'M sorry, Yura," he croaked, covering his face as Makkachin came up to lick at him, whining in concern.  

Yuuri adjusted his crooked glasses and stood up, brushing himself off, and reached down to help Victor up as well, "Are you okay, Vitya? Why were you sleeping down here? And...i-is that...did you drink that whole bottle of Vodka?" Yuuri finished in alarm, noting the rumpled state of the normally pristine alpha, and the empty bottle of alcohol that had been curled in Victor's hand while sleeping.  

Victor shuffled his feet and looked down, mumbling in a very small, very insecure voice, "You left. I didn’t know where you had gone. And I didn't want to go after you if what you wanted was to be away from m-I mean, to be alone. And I just-" he broke off with a dejected sigh, "I just didn't know what I had done wrong, and whatever it is, I'm sorry Yuuri, I really am." 

Yuuri widened his eyes in surprise and an embarrassed flush swept across his face and chest, "Oh Victor, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to upset you!" Yuuri couldn't speak quick enough, feeling horrible for what he must have unintentionally put the alpha through.  

"I just wanted to practice for a bit at the dance studio, since we didn't get to do our usual routine today, because of Hanami. And I didn't think to tell you because I thought you wouldn't want to join me, since you don't really seem to like staying up late like I do. Vitya, I'm so sorry I upset you, really I am. I had such a wonderful day with you, I couldn't be upset with you, really, Victor." 

Victor felt his own embarrassment as his overreaction flare up;  _he was too foolish._  

He followed Yuuri to his bedroom and got under the blankets with the omega, curling up against Yuuri's smaller frame tonight instead of holding the omega like he usually did. He felt rather frayed inside and needed the comfort.  

Yuuri must have smelled the continued stress on the alpha, or maybe he just could sense Victor's fraught state; he accepted the alpha into his arms without comment and held him, petting his silver hair, and humming softly into the dimly lit room until Victor fell back asleep, not crying this time. 


	17. Chassé 2: Oasis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri comforts Victor after his anxious evening. 
> 
> "Chas·sé /SHaˈsā/ BALLET noun: a gliding step in dancing in which one foot displaces the other. Translates to: “Chasing one foot with the other”. The leading foot slides forward into fourth (or side-ward into second), then with a spring off the floor, the stance limb draws up to it in the air, and the leading foot opens to land in fourth (or second). Used as a traveling or transition step."
> 
> Song: 
> 
> Oasis (feat. Foxes) by Kygo

Victor woke up soon after Yuuri had lulled him to sleep with his gentle pets and quiet humming. He blinked at the soft blue light glowing above him, it appeared Yuuri wasn't asleep yet, but was reading something on his phone in bed, still holding the alpha close with one arm.  

Victor shuddered, his breath caught,  _he needed-he needed-needed_.  _He needed. Yuuri._  Needed so badly his whole body was shaking with it. He didn't have the clarity of mind to pause and consider his sudden turn of mood-was it how awful everything had been last evening, his insecurity and anxieties battering at him? Was it his upcoming rut, forcing his emotions to tip and sway with the powerful hormones flooding his system? Was it all of the above? Or none of it?  _But Victor needed. He needed so very badly._  

He whined, pitching it low to a groan at the end and pushed himself closer to the omega, startling Yuuri a bit and causing him to fumble with his phone before putting it down on the nightstand near to his side of the bed.  

"Vitya? Are you alright?" 

"Yura, Yura, I-I need, I need," Victor whined into Yuuri's neck, lips mouthing up to suck at the omega's damp scent gland, trying to pull the sweet oil into his mouth with his lips and tongue.  

Yuuri moaned quietly at the sudden and strong pull his body felt towards the alpha, tingles running through him and sparking in his fingertips at every suck and lick Victor pressed into his flesh.  

"What do you need, sweet-mm-V-Vitya?" Yuuri managed to press out while the alpha's mouth moved higher, cresting with kisses and sucks over his jaw, up his smooth chin, to meet their lips together in a wet, messy kiss.  

Yuuri could taste the bitter tang of something, he wasn't quite sure, but thought it might be Victor's alpha venom, because it stung a bit and had an after-flavor of-crushed roses? Probably the alpha's venom then. Was the alpha going into a rut? It would be early, and he didn't seem too concerned about making a nest at the moment, so maybe not.  

Yuuri boldy licked into the alpha's mouth, chasing the floral sting with his tongue, making his own tongue tingle and numb in pleasant waves. Victor pressed closer to the omega and started pawing at Yuuri's clothing, trying to get his skin as close to his mate's as possible.  

Yuuri stilled Victor's hands on the waistband of his sweats and pulled back from the burning venom kisses to ask again, "What do you need? How can I help you, Vicchan?"  

Victor blinked a few times, trying to breath through his mouth to clear his mind from the mix of the omega's sugary scent laying on his own rosy scent. He felt too cloudy to think straight but he knew what he needed- _Yuuri, all of Yuuri, around him, inside of him, taking him-_ _Yuuri making Victor his._  Maybe that would soothe the frantic and edgy depths of pain sinking through his bones, that he didn't want to try and think about-remember-any of the causes of.  

"You. I need you Yuuri," Victor whined before turning himself over, getting up onto his knees, and presenting his backside to the shocked omega, "Please, Yura, make me yours, I need it, I need you, inside of me, please?" Victor babbled, using his right hand to spread his pale cheeks apart wantonly showing his entrance to the man behind him on the bed, his erection and swollen knot hanging heavy between his legs, starting to earnestly hurt in neglect.  

Yuuri touched Victor's bony hip softly, and pressed, pushing to turn the alpha onto his back, before quietly removing his clothes. Yuuri moved nakedly up between Victor's legs, coming to rest chest against chest, sexes pressing together, both hard, while the alpha's swollen knot twitched and felt hot against the omega's smooth erection. Yuuri kissed Victor's lips, and though he felt very sure of what he wanted to say and do, his hands were shaking where they held both of Victor's, fingers entwined, above the alpha's head in the sheets.  

Victor must have felt the shaking and groaned a bit, feeling guilt rush through him, and regret, he was being horribly pushy; but before the negative feelings could wash away his need, could soften his erection, Yuuri spoke, "Vitya, I'm not comfortable having p-pentrative sex with you, I mean with our-um-penises, yet." 

Victor shut his eyes and felt a lump lodge in his throat, "I don't mean to pressure you, I'm so sorry-" 

But Yuuri interrupted him before he could continue to apologize, pressing their lips together again, "Shh, Vicchan," Yuuri murmured into the kiss, "I do want you. And I want to give you what you need. I'm just not ready for that yet, but I know you're terribly uh-creative," Yuuri giggled a bit, smiling as he felt Victor's heart-shaped lips lift into a small smile, "Just tell me how I can give that to you without, using my, well, m-my penis," Yuuri finished on an embarrassed squeak, voice cracking a bit, but the omega covered over his nerves with another kiss to his alpha's pretty mouth.  

Victor spread his legs wider, and moaned lowly as Yuuri's erection pressed into his own knotted sex, "Yura, j-just use your fingers for me, detka  _(baby)_ , yes?" 

"A-and for l-um-lube?"  

"Let's use your slick, kotyonok  _(kitty),_ I-I want to smell like you, I want it inside of me," Victor finished softly, lowering his gaze coyly as Yuuri felt his blush reach his chest.  

He nodded and started rocking his hips against the alpha's, pressing their erections together and sending toe-curling tingles zinging through both of them. Yuuri moved his mouth to the alpha's own scent glands and took a deep breath of the muted roses blooming across Victor's skin in trickles of scented, viscous oil, oozing from the swollen glands at his arousal, so close to his rut. Yuuri licked the scented fluid up and sucked at the alpha's right gland, even being so bold as to mark it with his teeth while sucking a purple bruise into the sensitive flesh.  

Victor was writhing underneath him, whining and panting, and when he felt Yuuri's teeth press into his scent gland-so wanting, so desirous, welcoming his scent and taste, unlike everyone he had ever been with-it was too much pleasure, too much happiness, too much _-too much_ -and the alpha stiffened and spilled thick, milky semen all over his own belly and Yuuri's where their skin met.  

Yuuri pulled back and if possible, it looked like his ears turned an even deeper shade of red in the dim light of the room, Victor could see the omega was as aroused as he was because his brown nipples were hardened and peaked, and the alpha could smell his sugary slick, probably producing more than usual so close to his heat.  

"Can I? Please?" Yuuri whined above Victor and the alpha nodded, not sure what he was agreeing to but wanting to give anything, all, to the omega nonetheless.  

Yuuri hummed, almost purring in a lilt, and moved down to start licking and sucking the alpha's semen from where it had splashed against Victor's flat, muscular stomach. Victor whimpered and he felt his knot grow impossibly larger, throbbing painfully, while the omega cleaned all the ejaculate off of him, purring in his throat as he did so- _Yuuri, his Yura was an angel, or a demon, he wasn't sure, he didn't care, he loved him so very much_.  

Yuuri smacked his lips and swiped his fingers through the seed that had landed on his own belly, sucking it from his fingers before moving hungrily to the last part of the alpha he had left to clean-his large, knotted erection. Yuuri had never given anyone oral sex before-he had never done anything remotely sexual with anyone before Victor. He wasn't sure what to do, really, but he wanted to get as much of the alpha's semen into his mouth as possible-it tasted like rose and jasmine tea with a hint of bitter aftertaste, and it was delicious to the omega.  

 _Yuuri_ _wanted all of it, all over him, inside of him, and-_ _Y_ uuri shook his head a bit, feeling saliva pooling in his mouth at the sight of the alpha laid out so beautifully before him on the bed, completely submitting to the omega _, all for Yuuri._  Yuuri thought he must be very close to his heat for his thoughts to muddle so, for his chronic shyness to take a back seat to his bold want for Victor, but he was happy, and he wanted to make Victor feel happy, to feel this good too.  

Yuuri sucked at the plush crown of Victor's cock, lips rubbing the smooth flesh, drool dribbling out of his mouth as he moved his lips lower to take more of the alpha's hardness in. Victor threw his head back onto the pillows and moaned loudly, voice almost breaking on the noise, before divulging into mumbles in mixed Russian and English. Yuuri pulled back up and tongued the alpha's thick foreskin, that had rolled completely away from his swollen head. He started sucking at the foreskin layering the side of the alpha's dick with his sweet-scented saliva while chasing any traces of Victor's semen with his mouth.  

Victor whimpered and it almost sounded like he was pleading, begging, and Yuuri frowned- _he didn't want Victor to be upset_? He wanted to fulfill the alpha he was growing to care for so deeply. Yuuri pulled his mouth away from Victor's sex and murmured soothing hushes against the damp, sticky, silver curls poking out from beneath the alpha's swollen knot. The alpha quieted a bit, panting, and Yuuri took that opportunity to open his mouth as widely as possible to fit as much of the tangerine-sized knot into his hot, wet mouth as he could.  

Victor jerked against the mattress and practically howled, cock twitching, jerking, and spraying more semen up onto his belly while the omega sucked and mouthed at his knot.  

Yuuri popped off Victor's knot with a lewd squelching noise, "Vitya, I just cleaned you up," Yuuri cooed playfully at the panting mess of the alpha, a whining purr mixing and pitching from Victor's throat in hot adoration and arousal.  

"Mm, more for me then, thank you, Vicchan," Yuuri purred, bending down to lick up Victor's second load of semen off his belly.  

Victor's chest and stomach were bucketing with deep, gasping pants and he heard a faint ringing in his ears, while all he could smell, all he could see was his omega,  _his beautiful, perfect, loving omega, grooming him so nicely._   

"Yura, Yura, love," Victor babbled as the omega finished cleaning his sex for a second time, before scooting himself back up his lover's body to press soft kisses onto his damp face, wet with sweat, venom, scent, and probably tears-the alpha was completely ruined and Yuuri hadn't even given him what he had asked for in the first place.  

"Shh, Vicchan, just relax, I'll make you feel good, I'll help you like you helped me," Yuuri crooned near Victor's ear, petting his fingers through the alpha's silver hair, trying to calm his breathing.  

Victor whined and turned his head to kiss the omega sweetly, managing to croak, "Love you, I love you, Yura," against Yuuri's lips after the kiss.  

Yuuri stilled for a moment but before Victor could have a second to fear he had pressed too hard, divulged too much, again, the omega whispered back, "I-I'm falling in love with you, Victor." 

Yuuri sounded terribly vulnerable, his voice losing the sexy pitch it had taken earlier during their activities, and moving back to his usual, quiet, anxious tenor. But Victor pressed his lips against Yuuri's again, kissing softly, before moving to lay little kisses all over the omega's face, "You make me so happy, Yura. You're everything to me," Victor reassured simply, and it was enough, it was perfect, and the omega's nervousness soothed almost instantly again.  

Yuuri lay between Victor's legs and rested his weight upon the alpha, trusting and compliant, "Wet yourself for me, Vicchan?"  

Victor looped his arm easily to the omega's backside and ran his fingers through the thick slick that had been dripping steadily from Yuuri's opening during their encounter. He searched with his fingers, tucking them between the omega's cheeks to tickle and tease at his opening which was twitching and pressing out, like it was trying to suck his fingers inside.  

"Vicchan, this is about you," Yuuri whined, breathlessly, while the alpha's fingers played with and petted at his hole.  

"Do you want me to stop, Yura?" Victor paused his movements and questioned.  

Yuuri shook his head no and pressed his butt back against the alpha's hand, "S-Show me what to do to you?"  

Victor groaned, burying his nose against the omega's scent gland and pressing his tongue flat to the swollen, hot flesh, and rubbed at Yuuri's hole with the pad of his pointer finger, petting over the ripples that pressed up bumpily against his touch. Victor pushed just the tip of his finger into the grasping, wet hole and Yuuri whimpered, voice keening, and pressed his backside up into the alpha's touch.  

"You're so wet, dorogoy  _(darling)_ , all for me?" Victor purred against Yuuri's neck happily, feeling warmth balloon inside of him alongside the burning arousal, twining like old and well-loved friends.  

Yuuri nodded and whined something in Japanese that ended with Victor's name: "Vicchan~". 

Victor sunk his finger easily to the base in the wet, slick hole, and started a slow rhythm of push and pull in and out of Yuuri's entrance.  

"M-More, please, Vitya, more," Yuuri whimpered into the alpha's soft, silver hair, mouthing at the strands, looking for something to suck on while his hole was fingered by his lover.  

Victor pulled his one finger out and pressed back in with two, feeling the slickened, rippled edges of Yuuri's hole stretch just slightly at the new intrusion, "Yura, you feel so good around me," Victor groaned, beginning to grind his hard sex up against the omega's, while each upward thrust of his hips pressed his fingers deeper into his lover's body from behind.  

Victor's two fingers found something small and hard inside of the omega, his prostate gland, and Yuuri yelped at the sudden sensations zinging through him. Yuuri swore he saw golden sparks winking in his vision, his toes curled, and his whole body started shaking as the alpha pressed softly against the hard gland deep inside of him. 

Victor's fingers pressed once, twice, a third time, before pulling away to give him a break from the heady, overwhelming stimulation. Victor pulled his two fingers back and pressed the tip of a third against the omega's gaping entrance, rubbing in the slick spraying onto his hand, and Yuuri pressed his hard dick down against the alpha's knotted erection, froze, and started shaking.  

"That's it, cum for me, kotyonok  _(kitty),"_ Victor growled against the omega's neck, nipping against Yuuri's brusied scent gland with his venom-covered teeth, and setting a low burn through his lover's skin at the touch.  

To mark an omega as a mate, for life, an alpha would have to break the skin over all the scent glands with their fangs and flood the glands with alpha venom to permanently fuse their scents; and while Victor knew they were very far from that step in their relationship, as they technically weren't even dating yet, it could be pleasurable for both and alpha and omega to bruise over the sensitive skin covering a scent gland and press some venom against it-it was a mimic of a mating bite and felt emotionally and physically amazing.  

Victor pressed the tips of three of his fingers into Yuuri and as the omega's hole was stretching to accommodate the penetration, their erections grinding together with each kiss of their hips, the burn of Victor's venom touched his neck and Yuuri screamed and spilled semen everywhere between them. The omega cut off in a short sob, the orgasm was intense, like nothing he had ever felt before, not even in a heat, that he could remember through the heated cloudiness that would fog over his mind, and whimpered and sniffled against the alpha's hair.  

Victor pulled his fingers gently out of the omega and pulled the slight Japanese man down to hug against his sweat and semen-dampened chest, "Shh, shh now, Yura, I love you, I love you so much, my Yura, moya lyobov'  _(my love)."_  

 _"V_ -Vitya, Vicchan, i-is that, d-did you...?" Yuuri panted against the alpha's collar bones, feeling ripples of orgasmic pleasure continue to roll through him even though his cock was now soft between his legs, stemming from the soft, pleasant burn tingling at the right side of his neck.  

"I put some of my venom on you, Yura, is that alright? I-I probably should have asked first, since you'll smell like me for a while now, but I just-"  

Yuuri interrupted the nervous alpha with a happy purr bubbling up, uncharacteristically loud enough to hear in the quiet room, "Thank you, Vitya," Yuuri hummed happily, having never felt or been so close to someone physically and emotionally, the venom tingling at his neck a comforting physical manifestation of their loving, as well as the happy ache and spasm in his hole from the absence of the alpha's fingers.  

They cuddled in the blankets, Yuuri purring in Victor's arms, until he shifted his hip and felt the alpha's knotted erection still hard and pressing against his thigh.  

"Your turn, Vicchan, now that you showed me how," Yuuri purred coyly, giggling as the alpha groaned but not able to smother the large, heart-shaped smile lighting up his face.  

"You've already given me so much tonight, Yura," Victor crooned happily, but wiggling all the same as he was still hard and his knot still ached for another release, when, hopefully, it would deflate in satiation-but if Yuuri was too tired, it was nothing he wouldn’t try to fix for himself in the bathroom, unpleasant as it would be compared to the ministrations of the pretty omega in his arms.  

"I want to," Yuuri stated simply, confident in his desires, while his surety put a bigger smile on the alpha's face; Victor loved it when Yuuri could express himself confidently.  

"Then I'm all yours, my Yura," Victor purred, as Yuuri sat up on his knees between the alpha's legs.  

Yuuri gathered some of his slick on his fingers from his opening, moaning softly as his hole twitched in over-sensitivity when his fingers brushed against it. Then he brought his wet fingers down to run through his own semen still spread on his stomach and Victor's where they had cuddled together. He rubbed his fingers in the tacky seed until they were thoroughly coated and slick and looked up at the alpha before him, "Ready, Vicchan?" 

Victor opened his legs impossibly wider, knees bent and bowing outwards in a butterfly-stretch position, hands holding his knot and cock warmly, "Yes, Yura." 

Yuuri brought one finger to Victor's furled entrance, it was closed so tightly, and the dryer flesh, though damp with sweat and other fluids, twitched sensitively at his first touch. When Yuuri pushed his finger in to the first knuckle he groaned, lust shooting through him at the thought of how this very tight hole would feel around his own cock.  

Yuuri hadn't ever put a lot of time or desire into the thought of penetrating his future (most likely alpha) partner, since it wasn't common for alphas to like bottoming for their omega mates, or so society had pressed into his mind. But Victor, giving himself over so beautifully to Yuuri, his body, his submission-Yuuri felt strange feelings of possessiveness, dominance, want, lust, desire, affection, deep caring, and even what could have been love, all crowding into his senses, moving through his mind like a monsoon's thunderstorm clouds-pressing away all else until the sky was clouded with purple waves and blue lightning.  _He wanted all of Victor, mind and body, fully, just like this, always_. And that realization struck him like a lightning bolt and he knew he was changed. He wasn't falling in love with the alpha- _he was in love with the alpha already_ , he knew it to be true deep in his core. He was in love with Victor.  

But there was no time to stop and share his revelations with the alpha who was pressing his hips up, up, up into Yuuri's touch, already begging in broken, heavily-accented English for  _'more fingers, more, more,_ _more_ _, please Yura, please~_ _'._  

Yuuri obliged, pressing a second and then third finger into his lover's body, while Victor's own hands worked his knotted cock fervently, until the omega could tell the alpha's hips were stuttering between pressing back into the penetration in his hole and forward into the pressure around his knotted sex.  

Victor tensed up, legs shaking, moans spilling from his lips like prayers gasped into the night, and Yuuri pressed his fingers as deep as he could, searching for that hard spot inside of Victor that he had found in Yuuri by curling his fingers and quickly moving them back and forth in a come-hither motion.  

The pads of Yuuri's fingers finally brushed against Victor's prostate and the alpha grabbed his hard knot firmly while his other hand gripped and rubbed his large erection, jerking and twisting against the taught flesh while he keened and pitched noises until his voice cracked. Yuuri pressed into the hard gland more firmly, pegging it again and again, and though he knew it really wasn't the right time, he couldn't help it, Victor looked so beautiful falling apart on his hand like that, he uttered, "I love you, Vitya," into the heated air between them, and Victor yelled until his voice left hoarsely as he spilled his seed in his hands and onto his belly for a third time.  

The alpha sunk back into the bed limply, almost sighing in relief as he felt his hard knot finally softening.  _God, Yura_ -they weren't even in a mating cycle yet, that would be tomorrow probably, but his body was so keyed up on Yuuri. His emotions, his body, he was entirely wrapped up in Yuuri. His mind couldn't even process Yuuri's admission right before his orgasm, quite possibly the thing that had pushed him into his third orgasm- _he was wrecked by this small omega._   

Yuuri fell into Victor's arms, tugging the blankets up around them in a gentle imitation of a nest, and purred into the alpha's shoulder, butterflies fluttering in his chest as he heard the alpha's answering purrs thrum through him. They fell asleep curled up together, exhausted, while the dawn painted the sky outside in stripes of red, pink, orange, and yellow, meeting the golden sun as it peeked over the horizon. 


	18. Brisé 1: Beautiful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri and Victor discuss courting again. They build a mating nest and experience a heat and rut together. 
> 
> "Brisé: /brēˈzā/ BALLET noun: a jump in which the dancer sweeps one leg into the air to the side while jumping off the other, brings both legs together in the air and beats them before landing. A jumping beat which allows the dancer to travel in a specified direction."
> 
> Songs:
> 
> Bittersweet by Ellie Goulding  
> Lullaby by The Spill Canvas

Victor woke late into the morning feeling physically horrible, and his jumbled emotions weren't much better. He groaned and tried to bury his face deeper into the blankets surrounding him, hiding from the sunlight coming in through the window. His glands were swollen and sore, his venom over-producing and forcing him to swallow often despite his itchy, unpleasantly numbed throat. He could still feel the discomfort of swollen pressure from his glands even though his own venom numbed the back of his throat slightly. His whole body ached but as he lay still in the blankets his fingers started to twitch and he felt shaky and jittery with nerves, his instincts were pestering him to nest, his rut would be here in hours it seemed, and he didn't have a nest made yet to protect himself or attract and protect his mate.  

The jittery alpha pushed himself up in bed and looked around for his mate who had disappeared. He scented the air but smelled only juicy apples layered on velvet roses, happy and sweet, with a tinge of cloying, browned sugar added to the scent of his mate, the omega's nearing heat infusing his scent like a confectionary. He was about to get out of the bed to search for Yuuri- _find mate first, then build nest_ - but the bedroom door opened and his sweet mate walked into the room holding a tray of food.  

Victor's eyes widened and he plunked back down onto the bed-was this breakfast in bed he was about to be treated to? He didn't remember ever having the privilege of eating his breakfast in bed before.  

Yuuri, quietly as ever, nudged the alpha to sit back against the head of the bed, and the omega settled himself next to his mate. Yuuri placed the large tray over Victor's legs, and the alpha felt his stomach rumble at the spread before him: tea, miso soup, juice, steamed rice, fruit slices, scrambled eggs, and the smoothest, softest, most perfectly round pancakes Victor had ever seen with a large pat of butter melting atop them.  

Yuuri smiled at the alpha's dumbstruck expression, and quietly cleared his throat, his own scent glands a touch sore but not as much as he thought Victor's might be-alpha's always had it worse because of the venom they produced when it came to sore glands before a mating. 

"I thought your throat would be sore this morning, Vicchan, so if you can't eat the more solid foods, I made sure to include lots of tea, soup, and other softer foods for you. And, um, I, also...I-I got you a gift?" Yuuri ended, squeaking his statement shyly like a question as Victor's gaze focused on him intently, drawing a blush out of the timid omega even after their recent intimacy.  

"Yura, moya lyobov'  _(my love),_ this is amazing! You're spoiling me!" Victor cheered, even though his voice was hoarsley eeking from his sore, swollen throat.  

Yuuri ducked his head and mumbled, before speaking up when Victor nudged their shoulders together and questioned, "What was that, Yuuri~" Victor thoroughly enjoyed drawing out and lilting Yuuri's beautiful name.  

"I-I hope you like it," Yuuri stuttered, placing a small, white box with a single cherry blossom resting on top in Victor's lap, above where the tray started.  

Victor opened the small box after setting the cherry blossom aside to press and save, and was immediately enamored with the gift inside: it was the cutest, sweetest pastry Victor had ever seen! It was a small, baked pastry made to look like Makkachin's face, or the face of a poodle! It was browned in all the right spots for shading and had been given two raisins for eyes.  

"Yuuri! This is the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life! I mean, except of course, for Makka and you!" Victor laughed when that brought another blush out of the omega, "But oh, my Yura! This is just the sweetest thing!" 

"I saw it when I was at the store this morning and knew you would have to have it," Yuuri smiled shyly.  

"Wait!" Victor gasped, grabbing his hand to his chest dramatically, while actual, real tears seemed to prick at his eyes.  

"What is it Vicchan? What's wrong?" Yuuri fumbled, scooting closer to the alpha to help.  

"I can never eat this adorable pastry, Yuuri! How could I hurt Makka like that? What will I do?" Victor whined, putting on a spectacular pout.  

Yuuri smiled and shook his head, "You're ridiculous, Vicchan." 

"Yuuri, I am not!" Victor retorted playfully.  

Yuuri distracted Victor who was working up another pout while arranging the Makkachin pastry back into the little white box it came in delicately, placing the cherry blossom inside as well.  

"I-I went to the store to get something special for you Vitya, a-and that was not the something special I was looking for," Yuuri stuttered,  _he was not smooth even when he tried, it seemed_ , before placing a blue, spiral bound notebook with a small, yellow and green cardboard box on top of it into Victor's lap, over the pastry box.  

"Yura, what's this?" Victor asked excitedly, examining the small box, and opening it to reveal about two dozen crayons nestled safely inside, all brightly colorful.  

"I-I well, um, that is, w-when I'm, you know? Stressed? Like h-how I imagine you felt last night?" Yuuri winced, hating to bring up the alpha's distress to him, watching Victor's face closely for any sadness, "Sometimes when I get like that, I like to make art, I mean, it's not any good or anything, but it feels good sometimes to just...color something? Draw colorful patterns and stuff? So I got you this sketchbook and the crayons in case you needed them. I-I also thought you could start learning written Japanese since you've said you wanted to, and you could practice with these, I mean, I know it probably seems silly now..." Yuuri trailed off his manic babbling, burying his face in his hands,  _he felt so dumb now, Victor probably would think he was such an idiot, and-_  

"Yura, my Yura, I love them. And I love you," Victor whispered, running his fingers over the cover of the sketchbook with wide eyes in reverence-these were the best gifts he had ever received. They were perfect. Yuuri was perfect.  

He opened the cover of the sketchbook and squinted at the kanji characters written in blue crayon on the front page.  

"What does this say, Yura?" 

Yuuri kept his face hidden in his hands, but Victor could hear the mumbled words, "I love you." 

Victor very carefully placed the breakfast tray on the side table, not wanting to knock anything over, and then placed his new sketchbook, box of crayons, and the small pastry box in a neat pile on the floor next to the edge of the bed. The alpha turned to the hiding omega and gently placed his hands on Yuuri's wrists.  

He managed to encourage the omega to uncover his bright red, blushing face, and met his teary, chocolate gaze, "Yuuri, my Yura, I love you, so very much. I will always love you. Please, moya lyobov'  _(my love)_ , say you will let me court you?" 

Yuuri nodded silently, trembling slightly with emotion when Victor wrapped him up in his arms and squeezed him tightly, placing small kisses all over his omega's face, ears, and neck.  

"You're perfect, my Yura," Victor whispered lovingly against Yuuri's forehead, before placing a final kiss there and placing the breakfast tray back over his lap.  

Victor clapped his hands in happiness, "I've never eaten breakfast in bed, before, my sweetheart! Will you let me feed you?" 

Yuuri stumbled over his words,  _it felt like his ears would never return to their normal color after blushing so hard for so long_ , "B-but I made this for you, so I-I should be the one feeding it to you?" 

Victor paused where his hand hovered over the bowl of soup, "You cooked this for me?" 

Yuuri nodded, looking at his fingers in his lap, twisting them together with nerves, "Yes, I hope that's alright?"  

"I don't know what I did to deserve you in my life, Yura, but I will do everything I can to keep you in my life," Victor said seriously.  

"Vicchan, you're being ridiculous again, eat your breakfast," Yuuri huffed in embarrassment, before picking up a bite of rice with the chopsticks and stuffing it into Victor's open, heart-shaped smile, grinning when the alpha spluttered but chewed and swallowed his food obediently.  

When they had fed each other breakfast, Victor was persistent in his attempts to feed Yuuri even though the omega was insisting on feeding the alpha, Yuuri cleared away the tray and Victor carefully placed his gifts onto the small dresser in the bedroom that all of his stuff was in. He then considered his brand-new bed, still wrapped in plastic. His bed was larger than Yuuri's which meant a larger nest, but nothing would smell like them in here because everything was packed into boxes or wrapped in plastic, never used. He wasn't sure what to do. He knew his rut was approaching rather quickly, his body was aching now, and he couldn’t swallow his venom fast enough, it was steadily dripping down the back of his throat making it tingly, numb, and sore in turns.  

He needed to make a nest, he was running out of time. He just couldn’t decided where he wanted the nest to be, and it was stressing him out. The alpha ended up sitting on the floor in the hallway, between the open doors to their rooms, not really sure what to do, what he wanted to do, and hoping his omega might come up and make the decision for him. Yuuri did just that, he had finished cleaning up their breakfast downstairs in the kitchen, and had probably talked briefly with his parents about their impending absence for the rest of the day and evening, and came back up to find Victor sitting on the floor, eyes flitting from one side of the hall to the other, wringing his hands anxiously in his lap.  

By now, Victor's anxieties had moved from where to build their nest to considering if Yuuri even intended to share their mating together? He had assumed due to their recent activities, but he really shouldn't, and didn't, want to assume anything of the omega-it wasn't his right to assume anything. He hadn't asked Yuuri if he wanted to spend their mating together. And worse, what if he asked and Yuuri said no? What would he do alone? He knew he could theoretically be fine, but he knew he wouldn't, he would be too upset missing the omega.  

"Vicchan? What are you doing? Did you forget where I keep the nesting things?" 

"Yuuri?" Victor questioned, looking slightly dazed, huddled on the floor.  

"Vitya," Yuuri cooed, petting the alpha's ruffled, silver hair and smoothing it back down, "Are you ready to build our nest? I know your rut is getting closer, so is my heat. I think we just have a couple of hours left." 

"You're going to mate with me again, Yura? You want to build a nest together?" Victor croaked, hardly daring to hope.  

"Of course, Vitya, why would you think anything else?" Yuuri cocked his head, brown eyes clouding in confusion, a worried frown puckering his brow, "Did I upset you? Is something wrong, Vicchan?" 

"No, everything is fine, it's really good, actually. I guess I was just being too-" Victor sighed, "Too much, again." 

Yuuri grabbed the alpha's hands and tugged him up so he was standing in the hall, "I don't think you're too much," Yuuri whispered in the dim hallway, pressing his hand against the alpha's face earnestly, sure his hormones were thrumming all of this sudden courage into him, h _e'd been so_ _open with Victor all day, and it felt really good to be able to do that_.  

Yuuri turned away from Victor, leaving him staring after the omega in the middle of the hall, contemplating kneeling down and skipping courtship to propose marriage, but he shook his head and reminded himself to give Yuuri time, he was so shy, and he knew a sudden proposal would definitely scare the omega away.  

Victor followed Yuuri into his bedroom where the omega was pulling the plastic off of Victor's mattress, not looking over his shoulder to call out, "Vicchan, you really should unpack your boxes, you've been here long enough now, don't you think?" 

Victor hummed and went over to one box in particular while Yuuri tried to wrestle the plastic that had covered his new mattress into the small trashcan in the corner of the room, before giving up and balling it up to stuff into a corner of the closet, to discard later. Yuuri turned around and was telling Victor how he would help him unpack after their mating so the alpha could feel more comfortable in his room, making sure to comment that Victor would, of course, always be welcome in Yuuri's bedroom as well. Yuuri paused his chatting when he saw the small box Victor had opened and was looking through on the bare mattress-it was full of sex toys.  

"Victor?" Yuuri squeaked, internally admonishing himself, he shouldn't be this shy around the alpha about sex things anymore, after all, they'd done enough sexy things together by now for him to have overcome his perpetual social awkwardness over this. In fact, Yuuri owned several of his own sex toys, they had seen him through many heats up till now-he shouldn't be so shy, at least with Victor, but he was.   

"Yes, kotyonok  _(kitty)?"_ Victor purred, lewdly fisting a glass dildo that was tipped with a pink rose and had three swells resembling small-sized alpha knots along the shaft.  

"Can w-we...a-are those for us to use?" Yuuri stuttered, pupils blowing wide in lust, his aroused scent spreading in the air around them.  

"Of course, detka  _(baby),_ we can use these and anything else you want, since you're not comfortable with using our penises yet. Also, we can use our mouths and hands, yes?" Victor brazenly asked, not bothering to hide the growing erection tenting the black sweatpants he was wearing.  

Yuuri nodded dumbly, before surprising the alpha by shuffling him off the bed, and gently scolding, "Vicchan, we need to put the sheets on the bed, s-stop distracting me." 

"Mm, I'm distracting you, my Yura?"  

"Y-yes, now s-stop it, or we'll never get our nest made in time," Yuuri scolded.  

That sobered Victor, he never wanted to be without a nest during a rut again. He tried to shake the bad memories off and helped Yuuri put the new sheets on the bed, tucking them neatly, before grabbing the squishy comforter off of the omega's bed, that smelled like both of them, and laying it over the new sheets on Victor's mattress, to form the soft base of their nest.  

"You're sure you want our nest here?" 

"Bigger bed," Yuuri replied simply, though not without a hot blush coloring up his face, ears, and neck, "A-and I hope you'll be more comfortable in your room too, Vitya, you live here now, after all," Yuuri finished shyly, quietly, missing a blush spreading across Victor's own face at the kind words.  

Yuuri grabbed pillows, blankets, and a few plushies from his closet and brought them into Victor's room where the alpha was on his hands and knees on the bed, bouncing and kneading at the new mattress and soft, thick comforter, wanting to soften the space to perfection for his mate.  

Yuuri handed the alpha two more thick comforters to pad the base of the nest with, but these didn't smell very strongly of Victor and Yuuri because they didn't sleep with them every night, so before Yuuri handed them over he would brush patches of the blankets with the scented oil his glands were dripping on his neck to scent the fabric like him. Then Victor scented the fabric himself before placing them both on top of the first comforter and fluffing them up to make a nice, comfy surface.  

Now that the base was created, they had to weave the sides of the nest together. Yuuri had a lot of smaller, thinner throw blankets that he liked to stack and weave together to form the sides of his nests, and Victor let the omega form the first two rows of the edge of their nest while watching, impressed- _his mate was very good at nest-building_.  

"Yura, you're so good at this," Victor cooed at the flushed omega, who ignored the ardent alpha, and continued building the edges of their nest with blankets.  

They had made the base of the nest covering the majority of Victor's huge mattress, with three, thick comforters. Then, as Victor's bed was bordered by his boxes on one side, and open room on the other side, they tucked rolled-up lap-sized blankets, long pillows, and plushies against all the edges of the nest, and secured the items into place by folding the edges of the base comforters up and over the items, padding them and turning them into a large bumper that surrounded and shaped their entire nest.  

On top of the plush bumper, Yuuri had stacked and woven about ten different throw blankets together to make a high wall, about twelve inches tall. The omega filled in any gaps with plushies, and made sure to tuck an opening down into the side of the nest so they could get inside and then push a pillow back over the entrance once in securely. The nest was long enough around that even Victor, who was taller than Yuuri, could lay down fully stretched out from head to toe inside of the nest. Yuuri had also squirreled Victor's dirty clothing from his laundry hamper and had happily tucked that into any open spots in the nest as well, much to the alpha's amusement and happiness, as he had his own ferreted clothing he had snagged of Yuuri's laundry to add as well.  

Yuuri had made sure they each would have their own pillow for their heads to rest on and when he saw Victor setting out his small, apple-scented candles he had bought last time they had visited the store together, he pulled out some rose-scented room spray he had purchased online and lightly misted the nest with it. Yuuri shyly tucked a few sex toys he plucked from Victor's box into the sides of the nest, up by the pillows for their heads, and made sure there were bottled waters and energy bars within reach on the small side table next to the bed.  

"This is the most perfect nest I've ever seen, Yuuri, it's just wonderful," Victor purred happily, already removing all of his clothes and climbing into their nest.  

Yuuri shut the door, turned the lights off except for the small, salt lamp he used as a night light which he had brought into Victor's room and placed on the dresser, and of course, the apple-scented candles Victor had lit also on the dresser. Yuuri tucked some rolled up towels against the base of the door to muffle sounds and scents, more as a comfort thing than anything, because only Victor and Yuuri resided in this part of the inn and Yuuri's parents knew today was their mating cycles, so they were not going to be disturbed.   

Yuuri removed his own clothes and got into the nest, right on time, as Victor was already rolling around in it to add more of his scent to the fabric and clawing at the sides to fluff the nest, the omega felt his own body about to break into a heat any moment, perhaps at the enthusiasm of the alpha's pheromones spreading in their nest.  

Yuuri whined pitchedly, feeling a wave of heat roll through his body, pulling at his gut and causing a sweat to dew on his naked skin. He could feel slick gushing from his cloaca, running down his cheeks and the backs of his thighs. His sex hardened and he felt his entrance spasm and twinge, spilling out more slick, and he whined again, burrowing his face against his alpha's neck. The omega sought out the alpha's swollen scent gland and sucked at it greedily, whining and whimpering against his mate's damp skin and wantonly rubbing his hardened cock against Victor's hip bone.  

The alpha growled lowly and pushed the omega onto his back, holding his legs open and splayed wide with his own knees, while holding Yuuri's hands above his head with his own grip-the omega was entirely open to him now, and he could do whatever he wanted with the pliant body, take whatever he desired. Victor's alpha growled in a rare show of dominance at the omega's submission but finished with a warm purr, feeling love and happiness bubble warmly in his chest at the trust his omega was bestowing upon him.  

"My mate, my omega," Victor cooed at the reddened omega beneath him, lightening his weight where he had the smaller man pinned against the base of their nest.  

The alpha purred richly, letting his mate hear the deep thrums reverberating in his throat and chest, and nuzzled the omega's scent glands, kissing and licking them both tenderly. Yuuri whimpered and twitched, trying to thrust his hips upwards, desperate for any friction against his sex which was painfully hard. Victor wanted to groom his mate, to show the omega how well he could care for him, but he also didn't want his omega to suffer, to go without the stimulation he was chasing after.  

The alpha kissed a trail from the omega's scent glands, down his throat, over his collar bones, pausing at his chest to finally suck on the beautiful, brown nipples he had lusted after for so long now. They were pert and fully hard, sticking out from the omega's chest in swollen arousal. Victor licked around the pinkish brown areolas, laving his tongue wetly around the hardened buds, before pressing his lips around the elongated nipples and sucking at them firmly, one at a time. When he wasn't sucking at one of the nipples, he lightly pinched at the other, rolling the bud between his fingers and rubbing against it with the pad of his thumb. Yuuri squirmed beneath the alpha's touches to his nipples, gasping words in Japanese Victor couldn't understand, but the omega didn't sound upset so he continued his ministrations.  

Yuuri's body tensed under Victor's and the alpha ground their erections together and moved one of his hands to press a finger against the omega's furled entrance while continuing to latch on and suck at his right nipple. His mate cried out at the touch against his entrance and he ejaculated all over their stomachs, where they were pressing together. Victor let Yuuri's reddened nipple from his mouth, and placed a soft kiss to each nipple, minding the omega's over-sensitive flesh, before continuing his downward trail of kisses to his mate's soft belly.  

Victor now had one finger inside of the omega, and he wasn't thrusting with it or moving it, just holding it inside of his mate, almost in a claiming gesture; but Yuuri's focus was currently on the alpha's mouth, which was now trailing kisses and soft brushes of lips all over his pudgy belly and hips, lined with bumpy stretch marks. Yuuri whined in discomfort, trying to scoot away from the alpha's touches to his belly and hips, and Victor stopped, looking up at the omega curiously, humming, "What is it, Yura?" 

"N-not there," Yuuri choked out, emberassedly finding himself on the verge of tears as his anxiety welled up and crashed into him.  

"What's wrong, my sweetheart?" Victor cooed worriedly, noticing his mate's distress, and pulling his finger from inside of the omega's body as well, to not over-stimulate him while he was clearly upset.  

"M-my stretch marks...I-I'm ugly," Yuuri sobbed, curling into himself and hiding in the side of their nest from the handsome, beautiful alpha.  

"Oh, my sweetheart, my Yura, you are absolutely not ugly. You are the most beautiful person I've ever seen, moya lyobov'  _(my love)_ , I promise you that. The stripes on your hips and your stomach are gorgeous, dorogoy  _(darling)_ , they remind me of moonlight on your skin. I love everything about you, my only love, let me show you," Victor cooed at the crying omega, releasing his scent in heavy waves to try and comfort his mate, still a bit dazed that his scent  _could_ comfort someone, but knowing that it worked when Yuuri relaxed back against him after managing a couple of deep breaths.   

"Shh, detka  _(baby)_ , that's it, calm down and breathe with me, love, nice and slow," Victor coached softly, gathering the omega in his arms, against his body, and laying small kisses to the back of Yuuri's neck and shoulders in between words.  

"Can I show you how beautiful I think you are, my Yura?" Victor asked gently, when Yuuri's cries had quieted, heart breaking because his mate had felt anything but happiness during their time together in their nest, but wanting more than anything to make it better if he could.  

Yuuri nodded silently and allowed Victor to lay him down on his back again, spread underneath the alpha openly, trustingly, once more.  

Victor scooted his body up so that his lips were once again even with Yuuri's face, and put small kisses on the omega's forehead, eyelids, nose, ears, cheeks, chin, and lips, murmuring,  _'b_ _eautiful'_  and  _'g_ _orgeous'_  between each kiss. He kissed every tear from Yuuri's face and moved to cover the omega's scent glands with kisses next, but he put a finger onto the omega's forehead and petted it up and down, back and forth, in a small pattern on the skin.  

Yuuri's body relaxed into the nest, and he calmed further at Victor's petting.  

"I think my mother used to pet my forehead just like this when I was very small," Victor whispered against Yuuri's neck.  

Yuuri didn't say anything, Victor had never mentioned his parents before and all he knew from public record was that they had passed away when Victor was very young. He didn't want to say anything that would upset the alpha, so he shut his eyes and relaxed further into the soft touches of his kind mate.  

Victor removed his hand, and murmured, "One day, my sweetheart," placing a soft kiss to each scent gland, causing Yuuri's head to spin at the implication of those words.  

The alpha ran his lips to Yuuri's shoulders and kissed the tops of them, before trailing kisses across each collar bone, whispering, "Your body is a masterpiece, my Yura, everything about you is graceful and gorgeous, everything draws me in, calls me to you."  

Victor ran his lips down Yuuri's sternum and finally had come back to the omega's belly and hips, layered with stretch marks. He ran his lips around Yuuri's navel, kissing it softly, before mouthing at the bumpy flesh on his belly and placing kisses everywhere his mouth touched. He sucked on the sparse, dark hairs making up Yuuri's treasure trail, being sure to lick up and clean off every bit of semen that remained on the omega's skin. He moved his mouth to hover over Yuuri's still-hard erection, feeling his own hardness twinge in discomfort at neglect, but he could deal with the pain, his mate needed him, needed this reassurance.  

Victor breathed over Yuuri's length, nuzzling into it a bit before swallowing the length whole in his mouth and moaning happily when he felt the round head of the omega's cock press against the back of his throat where everything was so swollen and unpleasant feeling. He swallowed around the length and his glands pressed on it sorely but it sent jolts of pleasure straight to Victor's own cock at the visceral, physical reminder of having the omega's sex in his mouth. Yuuri was squirming again, whining, and Victor pulled off of his cock and kissed the tip where it peeked out from the omega's foreskin.  

"Stunning," Victor whispered against Yuuri's damp, hard length.  

Victor moved his mouth to each of Yuuri's hips, kissing the crests, and sucking small marks into the flesh, murmuring, "Magnificent," after paying attention to each hip.  

The alpha made sure to kiss every single stretch mark he saw, littered across the omega's belly, hips, and thighs and praised the omega with terms of,  _'beautiful', 'gorgeous', 'perfect', 'glorious',_ after each kiss.  

Yuuri whined and trembled under Victor's lips, and the alpha hushed him by taking his cock back into his mouth and sucking at the length pleasurably. He pulled off again and Yuuri nearly cried while he pushed his hips up for more stimulation. The alpha sucked his omega's testicles into his mouth, gently laving his tongue on them, venom and drool slipping down over his chin around the intrusion, and setting Yuuri's skin to tingling alluringly. Two of his fingers found their way back into his omega's dripping entrance, and he suckled on Yuuri's cock, hoping for more of his sweet seed to swallow.  

Yuuri's thighs were shaking beautifully, where they lay on either side of Victor's head, and he could feel the omega's hole twitching and tightening around his fingers. Victor pressed a third finger into his lover and swallowed around his sex until the blunt head nestled against the back of his throat and started jerking, gushing warm semen into the alpha's mouth.

Victor swallowed everything his omega gave him and pulled off, looking up to the panting omega and asked, "Ready for more, my Yura?"


	19. Brisé 2: Mama

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri and Victor experience a heat and rut together. Yuri Plisetsky arrives in Hasetsu. 
> 
> "Brisé: /brēˈzā/ BALLET noun: a jump in which the dancer sweeps one leg into the air to the side while jumping off the other, brings both legs together in the air and beats them before landing. A jumping beat which allows the dancer to travel in a specified direction."
> 
> Songs: 
> 
> Fever by The Black Keys  
> Hey Mama by David Guetta  
> Best Friend by Foster the People

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNINGS:
> 
> Cussing
> 
> *Please note: There is HEAVY breeding!kink, pregnancy!kink, lactation!kink, and mpreg talk in this chapter while they're experiencing their rut and heat together. There is also biting/blood at the very beginning of this chapter. Yurio arrives towards the end of the chapter after Victor and Yuuri talk when their rut and heat is over.

The alpha took a moment to luxuriate in the sweet, sugary smell of his omega's arousal clouding the air thickly in their nest. It was delicious. Victor moved over the omega, where he had just cleaned up his seed with his tongue, and pressed his own hardened sex against the omega's thighs wantonly. He hurt, he needed his own release soon. His fangs had pushed through his gums, and he could taste his own, coppery blood in his mouth along with the numbing tingles and sharp pangs of his venom. 

Victor rubbed himself against his mate while keeping up a deep, growling purr, pitched and rough, to express his pleasure with his omega. Yuuri reached down to tuck his alpha's hardness between his thighs which were coated in slick and saliva, and Victor thrust into the omega's thighs pleasurably. His knot was hard and swollen, and every time the alpha forced it between the omega's thick, firm thighs it put a delicious pressure against it.  

The alpha nosed along the omega's plush collarbones and started sucking marks into his mate's shoulders and chest, further marking him after coating his neck in his distinctive, rosy venom with his earlier kisses. He could smell their scents twining together and it made him feel full inside, fulfilled, but he somehow wanted more- _he needed to bite, to claim, to sink his fangs into something, someone, to sink his fangs into his mate_.  

Victor whined and husked out, "Mate, bite?" 

The omega moaned in response and answered in Japanese with a nod of his head, affirming.  

Victor sunk his fangs deeply into the juncture of Yuuri's neck and shoulder, well below his scent gland, but close enough that his scent would linger over the omega's for weeks after this, though it wouldn't permanently change like a mate's would since he wasn't marking the actual scent gland.  

As he sunk his fangs into his mate, his own release finally came crashing into him, and he poured his seed all over his mate's thighs, the knot finally swelling hard enough to get caught between the omega's legs while Victor shook and orgasmed on top of Yuuri.  

The alpha felt his venom swell and flow down into the omega's flesh through his fangs, pulsing pleasurably with relief at finally being able to sink into the softness of his mate. Yuuri keened and squealed while jerking underneath the heavy alpha as the venom burned it's way into his skin, seeping in with his blood into the alpha's mouth while Victor sucked at the wound and left his fangs buried in his mate.  

It burned so good, powerfully claiming his body, the feeling of his alpha's venom inside of him rolled through the omega's gut like a hot wave of pleasure and he orgasmed again all over where the alpha's stomach was pressed against the omega's.   

Victor finally released his mate and purred loudly, showing his omega how pleased he was with him, and lapped at the weeping wound, cleaning with his tongue and laying tender kisses over the punctured flesh. The omega purred in response, loud enough for the alpha to hear, and reached his hands up, trying to run his fingers through the alpha's hair to groom him in response.  

The omega pressed up against the alpha and turned him to lay down in their nest, leaving Yuuri sitting above his mate. He purred loudly and preened, tilting his head to show off his new claiming mark to his alpha proudly. He could smell his alpha all over him and he felt so wanted, so loved, so full of heady lust and adoration.  

The omega descended upon the alpha and started cleaning his ears, his scent glands, his neck, and chest with his tongue in happy, kitten licks all while purring loudly and happily. He would show his alpha what a good omega he could be, show him how happy he was to have been claimed, by grooming his mate. The omega combed his alpha's hair with his fingers, cleaned his scented areas with his tongue, and very happily licked up all of the semen remaining on the alpha's chest, stomach, and groin area.  

Yuuri's heated need was building inside of him again, and his sex was hardening once more, though, while he was suckling at his alpha's still-hard, knotted cock, grooming his mate. He pulled off of his alpha's erection and curled up by Victor's side, whimpering and groaning as his heat forced it's way through his lower back and hips, burning with the need to be filled and released. The alpha turned to face his mate, before reaching into the sides of their nest and grabbing two toys to pleasure his needy omega with.  

Victor dipped his fingers into the omega's slit, and used the slick gushing out to lube up his favorite glass dildo. It was tipped with a pink rose and had three swells resembling small-sized alpha knots along the shaft. He also had grabbed a long, silicone dildo that was flesh-colored and smooth. It was fairly thick as far as girth went, but didn't have a knot at the bottom.  

"Victor, please," Yuuri whined, his heat forcing the words to his mouth while his mind hadn't yet caught up necessarily to what he was saying, "Please, I-I need it. My hips, they hurt so bad. Victor. Alpha, please. Alpha-" 

Victor froze, fingers stilling on the toys he was coating with the omega's slick. Yuuri had never called him 'Alpha' before. The omega must be entirely gone to his heat now. But Victor didn't even remember Yuuri calling him 'Alpha' in the haze of the first heat and rut they had spent together a month ago. Maybe it was because they were closer emotionally now?  

Whatever the case, the small slivers of rationality his mind had grasped to were fading, his inner alpha was taking over, coming out to play, and he would make sure his omega mate didn't need to whine to get what he needed. He thought he had utterly lost himself when Yuuri had allowed him to bite him earlier, but with the omega becoming talkative suddenly, he could feel his own words coming to the surface, but what he wanted to say was all driven by his inner alpha- _mate, breed, fuck your omega pregnant until he never wants to leave your nest_.   

"Alpha, please," Yuuri nearly cried, his entrance spraying slick onto the alpha's hand as it was brought near to his entrance.  

The alpha growled, and let his venom drip out again, coating his bottom lip and chin. Victor laid in between Yuuri's legs, chest to chest, hardened sexes pressed together, and held the silicone dildo in his hand between them, poised at the omega's entrance.  

"Are you ready for me, Omega? I'm going to take you and make you all mine," The alpha purred into the omega's reddened ear.  

Yuuri whined and nodded feverishly, nearly sobbing when the alpha finally took pity on him and latched his mouth against the omega's swollen scent gland again and saturated it in his venom, making the skin burn and tingle pleasurably, while sucking and laving in gentle pressure with his tongue. The alpha pressed his teeth against the omega's gland, not hard enough to pierce the flesh, like he had done at the base of his mate's neck, but hard enough to bruise the scent gland, and pushed the dildo into his mate's waiting entrance.  

The omega gushed slick at the intrusion and screamed, bucking up against the penetration, and jerking his neck again against the alpha's teeth where they were pushing into the skin right under his jawline, bruising and laying more venom on his scent gland.  

The alpha held the smaller omega underneath his weight and fucked into his wet opening with the dildo, feeling slick spray on his hand where he worked the toy, and held the swollen skin of Yuuri's scent gland in his teeth, letting his venom run all over his mate's neck.  

"Can you feel me inside of you, detka  _(baby)?_ That's me touching everywhere inside of you, all of your hidden parts," Victor purred, releasing the omega's neck finally when he was satisfied that his venom had coated the flesh and saturated the sweetened apple scent with velvet roses even more. 

"Alpha, please," Yuuri whined again, gasping and moaning loudly, voice almost going hoarse, every time Victor thrust the toy inside of him.  

"What do you need, kotyonok  _(kitty)_?" 

Yuuri bit his lip, refusing to say, but burst out with another, "Please, Alpha, please!" 

The omega started crying in earnest and the alpha thrust the toy as deep as it would go, holding it inside of Yuuri firmly as his muscles clenched and tried to push the dildo back out, "I'll give you anything, Yura, what do you need? Just tell me." 

"Breed me!" Yuuri finally shouted, tears rolling down his red face, hips twitching against Victor's.  

The alpha stilled, before growling, "Of course, Omega." 

He pulled the dildo almost all the way and then slammed it back in, pressing deeply, "That's me inside of you, Yura, all me. I'm going to cum in you again and again. I'm going to knot you on my cock, and breed you all night long. I won't let you leave this nest until you're round with my pups. I'm going to watch our babies grow inside of you, making your tits fat with milk, and I'm going to suck on your nipples until they're sore. Would you like that, moy sladkiy kotenok _(my sweet kitten)_?" 

The omega screamed and orgasmed, spilling sticky seed all over both their sexes.  

Yuuri was babbling in Japanese when he came down from his orgasm, Victor holding the silicone dildo inside of the omega's body while his entrance thrummed and twitched around the intrusion in sensitivity, but his hips and back still burned for more. Yuuri managed some English words eventually, "Knot me. Alpha." 

Victor pulled the silicone dildo out and discarded it, before grabbing the glass dildo. He sat up and spread the omega's knees so widely, it looked like he was doing a 'butterfly stretch'. His entrance was gaping and spasming around the air, hungry for more penetration after the silicone dildo had left his body. Victor rubbed the textured, smooth bumps of the glass rose at the tip of the dildo through the omega's slick, pressing the blunt head of the toy teasingly against his stretched entrance.  

"This has some knots for you, but they're small ones, kotyonok  _(kitty)_. I'm going to work you up to my knot, alright?" 

Yuuri nodded, feverishly agreeing to anything that would get him that stretched feeling he needed, the deep, penetrating feel of a knot locking deep inside of his body, pressing into all of his walls and stopping him from going anywhere-penetration he couldn’t escape from even if he wanted to.  

Victor pressed the small, round, glass rosebud into the omega's entrance, followed with the three swells, one by one. The glass dildo was so hard, Yuuri could feel every inch inside of him. Victor set up a quick rhythm of push and pull with the glass toy, and Yuuri practically howled at every swollen bump moving into and out of his entrance.  

But the omega couldn't stop whining and whimpering, even while the alpha was pleasuring him with the toy. His mouth felt so empty, he needed- _needed_ -something to suck on. He needed to taste his alpha again.  

"Alpha, need you," Yuuri whined.  

"What is it, Yura?" 

The omega whimpered and gaped his mouth open, begging with his tongue out, for something, anything, to fill him there. Victor's still-painfully hard erection twitched and he moaned. He turned his body so that the omega could support himself on his elbows and suck the alpha's sex into his mouth, while the alpha supported himself on his own elbows as well, and continued to fuck Yuuri with the glass dildo, putting them in a '69 position'.  

Yuuri moaned happily around the length while swallowing it as deeply into his throat as he could get it. Victor could feel his sex sliding deeply into the omega's throat and groaned as he shot another load of cum out, this time into his mate's mouth directly, and Yuuri somehow managed to purr loudly through his moans while he swallowed the seed gratefully.   

The dildo slipped out of Victor's hand after a while with the amount of slick pouring from the omega and Yuuri's entrance managed to spit the sturdy, glass toy back out onto the floor of their nest with a gush of slick puddling around wetly.  

The omega was ready, and the alpha was going to give him what he needed.  

The alpha sat up and faced the omega's spread legs and dripping slit. Victor coated his hand in slick and pressed his four fingers together into a point before pushing them into the omega slowly. He fucked Yuuri on his four fingers for a while, before finding the omega's prostate and pushing against it again and again until Yuuri was screaming through yet another orgasm. When the omega was crying for him again, Victor folded his thumb in with his other four fingers and slowly managed to press his entire hand into his mate's entrance. Once his hand was inside of the omega he curled his fingers into a fist and moved his fist back and forth, fucking into and out of his mate. 

Yuuri screamed and tears ran down his face, he felt so full, stuck on his alpha's knot, larger than anything he had ever had inside of him, even larger than his own fist. He could feel his alpha moving deeply inside of him, touching him everywhere, and the stretch burned at his entrance and the pressure inside made him feel split open, and he never, ever wanted his alpha's knot to leave him.  

"Do you like my knot inside of you,  _detka_ _(baby)_? I'm pushing my seed deeper into you, gonna hold it inside of you till you're full of my babies, and then fuck some more into you, Yura." 

The omega dug his heels into the base of the nest, arched his back, and moaned so loudly his voice broke as he came all over himself once more.  

Victor gently pulled his hand out of his mate's hole. The omega's entrance was stretched and abused now, the edges red and puffy, trying to grasp at the air. The alpha took a moment to lick tenderly at his omega's slit starting up a thrumming purr again, laving his tongue over the swollen edges and stretched flesh, grooming Yuuri to let him know what a good omega he was being and to reassure him that he would always care for him.  

Like the last mating they had spent together, Victor had learned his omega had an amazing level of stamina. His own, knotted erection was still hard, and so was the omega's smooth cock.  

The omega squirmed as the alpha's tongue groomed his fucked-out entrance, and he started pitching up a whine again, already wanting his mate back inside of him- _he didn't feel pregnant yet, he needed to carry his alpha's pups or his body wouldn't feel right._  

"Give me your pups, Alpha, please." 

Victor laid on his back and placed the silicone dildo between his thighs, tucked right under his scrotum and pointing to the ceiling parallel with his own cock. He encouraged his whining mate to climb atop him and Yuuri immediately sank down and impaled himself on the toy.  

"That's it, Yura, roll your hips for me  _detka_ _(baby)_. Mm, what a good Omega you are, taking my cock so well." 

The omega preened at his alpha's praise and puffed his chest out in pride.  

"Show me your nipples, kotyonok  _(kitty)_ _._ " 

The omega pressed his nipples out against the alpha's seeking hands and yelped when Victor pinched and rubbed at the swollen nubs.  

"You're gonna feed my pups so well with these, kotyonok  _(kitty)_." 

Yuuri cried, "Please, Alpha, fuck a baby into me, please!" 

"Ah Yura! Mm, you'll be such a good Mama, Omega! Fuck yourself on my knot, Mama! Fuck my pups into you!" 

The omega started crying again through his heavy breathing, rolling his hips and pressing the blunt head of the dildo into himself deeply while his nipples were fondled and played with. Victor couldn’t hold back much longer, his knot was painfully swollen, and his whole cock felt ready to explode, heavy and stiff in arousal and his readiness to breed his mate.  

Yuuri reached down and grabbed his alpha's knot in his hands, pressing and massaging the hard knot, and whimpered, grinding his hips against Victor's as the dildo penetrated him deeply.  

"Yeah, Mama, just like that!"  

Yuuri yelled hoarsely as his alpha called him 'Mama' again, and Victor's talented fingers pressed again on the omega's sore nipples, causing the omega to imagine himself heavy with his mate's pups, breasts swollen with milk, weighted down and tender. 

Victor groaned and shot more hot seed all over Yuuri's hands while the omega convulsed on top of the toy and Victor's body, working himself through another orgasm on the toy.  

Yuuri fell heavily onto his alpha, feeling his mate wrap him up in his strong, warm arms. They both were catching their breath, but still held up contented purrs through their panting. Victor nuzzled his mate's ear and cooed at the omega in his arms. 

"That's my good omega, that's my detka  _(baby)_. I love you, Yura. I love you so much." 

*~~~* 

Their most recent mating had been- _intense_ -to say the least. Yuuri knew they had done sexual things outside of their two mating encounters but nothing, even their first mating together, had been quite like the last time. They had been lost to the pleasure, had let it consume them. He knew Victor had bitten his neck enough to break the skin above his shoulder, he had a healing wound to show for it.  

He had hazy memories of everything that had happened, but they were both sure they hadn't actually gone all the way sexually with penetration using their own penises. They had stuck to hands, mouths, and toys. But what he could remember was crying out for Victor to impregnate him and the alpha being only too happy to comply, even going so far as to call Yuuri, 'Mama'.  

And Yuuri had wanted it, all of it, no doubt, he remembered feeling so utterly happy during it all,  _so good_. His bruised neck ached so good in the days after their mating, reminding the omega of how wanted he was, and it felt amazing to be so wanted by an alpha like Victor. He was in love with Victor, and Victor somehow loved him back.  

But, just,  _that had all been so very intense_. Yuuri didn't quite know what to do with himself afterwards. How should he act around Victor now? They were courting, right? But Victor hadn't asked him on a courting date or anything, even though it had only been a few days since they agreed to officially begin courting. He had shown a side of himself he had never, ever shown anyone, not just his heavily sexual nature, but his inner omega had blossomed out.  

His whiny, needy, insecure, breeding-obsessed inner omega had shown up in all his glory. Victor hadn't seemed to mind, and after their mating the alpha was attentive as always. They hadn't taken the nest down yet and they shared it to sleep every night since. Victor groomed Yuuri by brushing his hair for him and washing him in the onsen after practice. And of course the alpha was verbally reassuring and physically clingy, as always, but Yuuri just felt like there was supposed to be something- _more defined,_ now? He didn't know what he wanted. Well, he knew he wanted Victor, but wasn't sure what that really meant now in  _'daily life terms'_. What was that supposed to look like for them? 

He had unintentionally been more quiet and closed-off from his alpha since their most recent mating in his insecurity and anxiety over the definition of their current relationship. He still hadn't quite reached his weight goal to begin skating yet and that wasn't helping matters, it was making him even more insecure as each day went by where his goal was missed again.  

Yuuri had started leaving after their evening bathing to dance in Minako's studio alone to try and drop his weight quicker, returning to Victor sleeping in their nest alone in the middle of most nights. The alpha had continually asked the omega what was wrong but Yuuri declined to talk about it. He didn't want his alpha and Coach to think he was needy or insecure or anxious  _or-or-or-_ _Yuuri_ _, really,_ _Yuuri_ _was so messed up_ , and he was terrified Victor would see this, come to his senses, and abandon him. Yuuri could smell the stress from his mate strengthening as the days went by and it only made him more anxious- _Victor was_ _unhappy_ _with him._   

Yuuri was doing exercises on one of the benches in a garden in Hasetsu, overlooking the small town, while Victor sat on the bench, sulking.  

The alpha had no idea what he had done wrong, what he had messed up, since their mating, but his omega was being quieter than ever, distant, even. He could smell small hints of anxiety wafting from his mate every now and again when the omega let the alpha get close enough to stick his nose against his bruised and healing scent glands and claiming bite lower on his neck. He knew Yuuri had started exercising at Minako's most evenings without him, and it stung. Victor was insecure, he was anxious, and he feared Yuuri had finally seen the real Victor, the too-much Victor, and didn't want to court him anymore.  

Minako was an alpha. He had been jealous of her in the past. He could feel the possessive, needy, jealousy itching under his skin.  

Finally, Victor couldn’t hold his insecurities in any longer, "Do you have feelings for Minako?"  

The startled omega responded quickly, "What?! No way!" 

But what if, _what if,_  Yuuri, his Yura, had already been taken when Victor had come to Hasetsu to try and stake his claim? What if the omega had only accepted him in a heat haze or what if he only wanted Victor to coach him because he was his skating idol. What if there was someone else? Yuuri seemed awfully close to Minako and Yuuko and other ladies, what if- "Do you have a girlfriend?" 

"No."   

Victor almost sighed in relief before his anxiety was needling him again, he needed to know, "Any ex-girlfriends?" 

"N-No comment."   

 _No comment?! What did that mean?!_  Victor suddenly felt a swell of nauseous anxiety and guilt rise within him. He was being so insecure and anxious over Yuuri's potential romantic past but he hadn't ever come clean to his omega about his own past, really. He hadn't told him about Chris...Victor hadn't told Yuuri about his exes, he needed to get this off his chest  _right now_ , "Let's talk about me, my first girlfriend was-" 

"Stop!"   

Victor felt tears well up and sighed heavily. He guessed Yuuri didn't want to talk about this now, or ever?  _Fuck._   _Oh well_. 

"What's that castle over there?" 

Yuuri took him to Hasetsu castle and showed Victor around while the alpha babbled excitedly about ninjas and took pictures. Victor actually got around to posting the pictures on Instagram this time and that evening, after their long day out exploring, Yuuri didn't leave to exercise alone, he held Victor's hand under the dinner table while they ate and went to bed with him at the same time, cuddling close in their nest.  

A few days later, Victor was skating in the afternoon while Yuuri was running laps around the small town, when his omega's scent reached him on the ice. He had been choreographing two different pieces inspired by the ways he loved his mate: Eros and Agape. He loved Yuuri passionately, deeply, lustfully so, so much he could drown in it. He also loved Yuuri unconditionally, and in the purest of ways, his Yuuri was everything to him, was his home, his family, his love, and his life.  

The pieces had initially been what he had been working on for his upcoming season of skating before deciding to retire and coach Yuuri instead. And while before, they had almost been empty shells of choreography, lain bare in the midst of his lack of inspiration, his inability to surprise his audience, after spending time with Yuuri and falling more and more in love with the omega, the pieces had each taken on full lives of their own, filled with intricate nuances of the ways he loved his mate. He wasn't quite sure which piece he would have Yuuri skate for his short program in the coming season, but he was sure it would be one of the two, and then they would choreograph Yuuri's free program skate together.  

The alpha's nose twitched and he smelled a different alpha's scent clouding around his omega-it smelled like charcoal and ash,  smoky, comforting campfire and also licking flames, harsh, hot, and arid like a desert in a drought-Yuri Plisetsky? The young alpha smelled-angry?  _Well, what was new_.  

What was interesting were the mixtures of emotions Victor could smell coming off of Yuuri under the strong clouds of Yuri's scent: the omega smelled-confident, pleased? Only a tinge of the usual anxiety lingered under the burgeoning prideful scent blooming from his omega, which was certainly not something the alpha was used to smelling from his mate.  

Victor turned on the ice as the young alpha called, "You look like you're doing well, Victor!" 

Victor looked to his mate and saw the omega's bruised neck and claiming bite were hidden under the collar of his jacket, so Yuri didn't know their relationship went beyond Coach and Student yet, but he would find out soon enough, he was sure his omega reeked of roses. Why was Yuri even here from Russia? He knew he had been rather absent minded before he left, thinking only of getting to his omega mate- _damn, he must have..._ "Yuri, you're here? I'm guessing I forgot some promise I made?"


	20. Assemblé 1: Yurio

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yurio gets settled into Hasetsu. Yuuri and Victor have their first real fight. The dynamics between Yurio, Yuuri, and Victor become familial. 
> 
> "Assemblé: /asɑ̃ble/ BALLET noun: to assemble or place (the feet) together in the air (usually in fifth position) during a jump. A dance move resulting in two legs joining together in the air."
> 
> Songs: 
> 
> Feel It Still by Portugal. The Man  
> In Regards to Love - Agape from Oh! Sketra!!! Yuri!!! On Ice/Original Skate Song Collection  
> In Regards to Love - Eros from Oh! Sketra!!! Yuri!!! On Ice/Original Skate Song Collection  
> I'm Not Your Hero by Tegan and Sara  
> I Didn't Mean It by The Belle Brigade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNINGS:
> 
> Cussing

"Sorry, sorry. I totally forgot. But you knew I was the forgetful type, right?" Victor laughed off the angry expression coming from his rink-mate's face, nose wrinkling at the even angrier scent wafting from the small alpha.  

"Yeah, I'm painfully aware of that. But a promise is a promise! You'll choreograph my new program Victor! Let's go back to Russia!" Yuri demanded forcefully.  

Victor could scent Yuuri's anxiety clouding under all of Yuri's anger and knew he needed to diffuse the situation before everything got even further out of hand. He was already planning on selecting one of the pieces he had been choreographing for the upcoming season for Yuuri, he just hadn't been able to decide on which piece suited his omega best yet.  

If he selected the right one for Yuuri, he could give the other piece to Yuri, and then hopefully the angry alpha would leave pleased and wouldn't upset his mate anymore. Victor was terrified of Yuri's brash ways and angry personality clashing with his gentle-natured, shy mate and frightening Yuuri away from their relationship, since it already seemed tepid as it was after their most recent mating.  

"Okay, I've decided! Tomorrow I'll choreograph a program for both of you to the same music I'm using in my short program." Victor proposed, hoping this would do the trick and calm things down.  

"Huh?! The same music as him?!"  

 _Maybe not._  

"No, this piece has several different arrangements. I was trying to decide which one to use. I'll think of a different program for each of you, of course. I'll reveal the programs in one week! You'll compete to see who can surprise the audience more!" Victor tried to turn everything into a game, after all, didn’t everyone love games, surprises, and ice shows? Perhaps this would calm the escalating situation down?  

"Woah! Let's take a step back here! I don't want to be punished for losing..." Yuuri stuttered, waves of anxious, omega pheromones smacking Victor in the face...so much for calming things down, he had made it all much, much worse. Some alpha he was, he couldn’t even calm his omega down, he made Yuuri's anxiety worse.  

"Victor will do whatever the winner says! If those are the terms , I'm in!" Yuri agreed enthusiastically, viciously detecting the source of Yuuri's anxiety and surely exploiting it.  

Well...there was nothing for it. Victor couldn't fix this. He was all-in. So-"Great! I love that kind of thing!" Victor winced as Yuri cheered and Yuuri blanched. He would surely pay for this later. His heart choked him a bit, worrying that he was pushing Yuuri further and further away from himself romantically, but hopefully he'd be able to work things out with the omega. Yuri just wouldn't go away, the young alpha was determined, pushy, and forceful, and this was the only way to get the Russian skater back to Russia and out of their hair in Japan; he hoped Yuuri would understand.  

 _"_ _Hasetsu_ _Exhibition, "Hot Springs on Ice" Presented by Victor Nikiforov. One week from now at Ice Castle_ _Hasetsu_ _._ _"_  

The announcements for the upcoming competition between the love of his life, Yuuri, and his rink-mate, Yuri, blared around the town via radio, television, and megaphone avenues. It had been one hour since the three skaters had left the local rink together and had headed back to the Inn to settle for the evening.  

Every time Victor heard another announcement reminding him of his herculean mistake, he wanted to bury his head, preferably in the shoulder of his gentle omega mate, and never show his face again- _what had he done?_  

"Talk about a hovel. Where's my room?" Yuri grumbled once the skaters had made their way to the Inn.  

"You're staying here?!" Yuuri screeched, and Victor winced again, he was constantly messing up his mate's life- _he should just go bury himself in the sand of the beach and never return._  

"If you get Victor all to yourself all the time, it won't be a fair match! I'm staying here, too! Alright?" Yuri griped in response- _elegant as ever, what a child._  

"It's not like you care what I think." Yuuri responded, seemingly resigned yet all at once flaring an odd cloud of confidence in the room that Victor picked up on and puzzled over again- _what was going on?_   

Yuri left the room and Victor turned to Yuuri, desperate to make things right between them, to explain himself, but before he could open his mouth to speak, the young alpha had barged back into the room and demanded a bath and food.  

It was odd, Victor didn't know of any past interactions between Yuuri and Yuri but once the omega began herding the young alpha around the Inn, he came into his own. Yuuri was blossoming with confidence, glowing as he shepherded the young alpha from the baths to the dinner table, and even seeming to possess enough self-assurance to sass and snark back at Yuri when he let rude comments slip. Victor had no idea what was happening but it looked good on Yuuri, this confidence, this assurance, the almost-mothering way he was treating the young alpha. Victor didn't understand it, but he liked it, a lot.  

*~~~* 

During dinner, Yuuri watched, pleased, as the young alpha dug into his food enthusiastically. The omega had made sure to clip the alpha's long bangs back so they wouldn't dip into his food while eating and Yuri had only slightly grumbled about it.  

The first time Yuri had encountered Yuuri, it had been ugly. But, really, it was typical, young alpha hormone-fueled rage. Yuri had been acting-out, likely for attention, if what Yuuri knew of the young alpha's non-existent family-life had anything to do with it. When Yuri had banged his way back out of the bathroom, Yuuri had followed, after taking several deep breaths and reminding himself he was dealing with a child and that he really should explain himself to the Russian skater. Yuuri had caught Yuri by the ear in the hall, had made him look at a photo of Vicchan, his beloved poodle, and generously accepted the grunted and shamed apology the child had delivered in return. They hadn't spoken of it again, and to Yuuri's knowledge, Victor didn't even know what had happened between the two.  

When Yuri had found Yuuri in Hasetsu, trying to kick the omega around like a toy, the Japanese skater had been so surprised he had let it happen at first, accepting the young alpha's physical rudeness in stride for all of five minutes. Then Yuuri had grabbed the child by the ear again and had reminded him of their last encounter- _did he really need another lecture on respect and etiquette?_  

Yuri had grumbled an apology. He was still rude, and had no verbal filter, but he was getting there. He would learn to respect the omega in time, Yuuri was sure of it, the young alpha just needed extra guidance, extra help, he was practically a feral child after-all, his familial relations boiled down to only his grandpa.  

Yuuri was being battered by emotions, by instincts. Was it really a coincidence for the young, parentless alpha to show up so suddenly right after the omega had mated with an alpha? An alpha that already had a close relationship with the child? Yuuri knew Yuri looked up to Victor, like a child would to a sire. All the young alpha needed was a mother now. Yuuri knew it sounded crazy, but he couldn’t help the tugs in his heart towards the young alpha-he needed to cherish this child, he needed to take care of this angry, young alpha, he needed to mother Yuri.  

He couldn’t shake his crazy, omegan, hormone-fueled instincts from his mind, and didn't want to try. He was still insecure over how intense his last mating had been with his alpha, but this need to mother Yuri was eating him at a base level, his bones, his cells, were screaming at him to mark the child as his own pup. He wasn't sure if it was because he was so close to coming off from a mating cycle, or if this was something that had really been there all along, waiting to blossom until his pup came back along into his life, and just now he had his alpha settled so they could be a true family. But Yuuri was sure that he was now a mother. He needed to get over his anxieties from his last mating, he was a mother now, and he needed to get his alpha on board as a sire.  

Yuuri felt the easy confidence and assurance flow through him. Of course, life was so simple now. He was a mother. Victor was a sire, a father. Their pup had come to them, Yuri. They were a family. It was sudden. It was not traditional. But Yuuri didn't care. They were his family and they were perfect as they were. He could feel this truth settling into his bones. He just needed to let things continue to fall into place.  

Yuuri turned his attention to his alpha mate, laughing and joking easily with their pup, and knew what he needed to do. He needed to leave them alone so they could bond as parent and child together. He would talk to Victor tonight in their nest.  

"I see...Of course." Yuuri mumbled quietly to himself before getting up and leaving to go exercise, wanting to leave the two alphas alone to bond.   

*~~~* 

When Yuri was done eating, Victor helped him settle into his room, up close to where Yuuri and Victor were staying. He laughingly tucked the younger alpha into bed, all while Yuri grumbled and griped at Victor irritably. But the alpha couldn't fake the pleased, contented scent that wafted up from his glands, loving the attention the older alpha was giving to him.  

Victor hoped he could finally talk to Yuuri about everything-their intense mating, the omega's recent distance, and now the arrival of Yuri-but the omega was not in the Inn.  

Victor asked around the Inn and then went to Minako's to check for him but he wasn't there either. The female alpha told Victor he might find the omega skating and the Russian alpha begrudgingly thanked her and left to head towards Ice Castle to look for Yuuri there.  

Yuuri was skating circles and shapes into the ice, seemingly without a goal in mind, acting more as if he was trying to pass the time than anything. Victor watched the omega for a while, trying to ignore the rude comments Minako and Yuuko had said to him about his Yuuri.  

 _"He's no genius but he's been gifted with more time to practice than anyone else."_  

 _"Skating aside, he's never been good at putting himself out there."_  

He was sure they didn't mean them to be derogatory, but anything even remotely negative said about his Yuuri chafed at him. He didn't care if it was unrealistic or ridiculous, he didn't care if he was being too much, he didn't want to hear anything but positivity about the omega.  

Even his sarcastic comment had gone right over Yuuko's head: "So a magic spell to change the little piggy into a prince."  

It was like she had been expecting that negative opinion.  _Disgusting._  

Victor had simply left it with: "Thanks. I know a lot more about Yuuri now."  

He didn't want to argue. It just wasn't worth it.  

 _His Yuuri was already a prince, his prince. He just needed the rest of the world to see it too._  

That night, when Yuuri had finally returned to their nest, damp with sweat from skating, Victor had cuddled into the omega anyway, wrapping himself around the Japanese skater's warm body. The alpha had tried staying awake to wait up for the omega but he had fallen asleep.  

He wanted to talk to Yuuri, but his mind was having a difficult time forming coherent sentences. He managed an _'I love you,'_  maybe in Russian, before burrowing his face against the omega's neck and falling asleep once more.  

The next morning, Yuuri and Victor included Yuri in their morning routine. If the young alpha would be staying with them for any amount of time he would definitely find himself with a set place in their daily schedule.  

Victor rode his bike to Ice Castle while Yuuri and Yuri jogged on foot behind him. The alpha cheerfully greeted all the townspeople he passed in chirped Japanese and nagged at Yuri to be polite and do the same. 

 _"You say hi_ _too, Yurio._ _"_  

Once they were on the ice, after a fantastic argument between Yuri and Victor because, ' _Yuri fucking knew how to tie his own goddamned skates right, so leave me the fuck alone about it, Old Man!'_   

During which Yuuri intervened with a squawked,  _'Listen to_ _Vitya_ _,_ _Yurio_ _, he's just trying to help! Stop being rude!'_  

Victor tried to get back into the correct headspace to act as a coach now to not only his mate but also to the young alpha he was quickly beginning to view as his child of sorts. This was going to be a challenge and he was trying to not let his anxiety get the best of him.  

"The piece comes in two arrangements, each with a different theme. On Love: Eros and Agape. Have you ever thought about love?" 

When both Yuri and his mate shook their heads 'no' that neither had thought about love...Victor was hurt. His own mate, who Victor frequently professed his love to and had even been told he was loved in return, had never thought about love?  _What?_ Victor tried to continue on, he was a coach, a real coach, and he could remain professional even though he felt like he just wanted to cry in a corner, curled up and defeated.  

"All right. Then what do you feel when you feel when you listen to this music?" Victor played the piece on Agape, watching Yuuri's face closely, hoping his mate really hadn't meant his careless dismissal earlier.  

Yuuri spoke up, "It's very clear and innocent, like someone who doesn't know what love is yet." 

 _Well, that was something._ Perhaps the omega was identifying his own feelings in his assertion? Someone who doesn't know what love is yet?  _Victor hoped not._   

When Victor played Eros, he again watched Yuuri closely, wanting to see the minute changes in expression on the omega's otherwise-passive countenance.  _Nothing_.  

"The first piece is "On Love: Agape." The theme is unconditional love. And this piece is "On Love: Eros." The theme is sexual love. I'll have you two skate to these opposing themes. This is how I'm assigning them."  

Victor soldiered on. Alright, before he passed out the night before he had finally decided to assign Yuuri the piece on Agape because he felt that his love for the omega really fit that well, he loved Yuuri in every way, unconditionally. He loved Yuuri like Eros as well, obviously, but he felt the omega would dance to Agape gorgeously, bringing new life to the piece with his beautiful movements. But now...if Yuuri didn't connect with the piece because he apparently didn't know love that way-then this changed things. Victor knew Yuuri understood Eros, he had seen Yuuri's Eros many times, even if the omega was shy about it. So he would assign the piece he thought the omega would be most comfortable with, and it would surprise the audience for sure since Victor didn't remember anything like this in the omega's skating repertoire from the past.  

"Yuuri! You'll skate to "Eros"!" 

"Yurio! You'll skate to "Agape"!" 

The young alpha and the omega looked shocked, and both with a touch of anger. But Victor was angry himself. His feelings had been viciously hurt now, by his omega, who apparently didn't know what love was? And by Yuri, who Victor was quickly growing more and more attached to as a child, but the pup was apparently denying knowing any Agape love, any familial love.  _Fine. They were both rejecting him: mate and pup._ Victor felt his temper snap and he spewed horrible words.  

"You have to do the opposite of what people expect. How else will you surprise them? That's my motto. Actually, you're both far more ordinary and mediocre than you think. You need to be more self-aware. I'm surprised you think you can choose your own image. From the audience's perspective you're just a piglet and a kitten. If you aren't up to my standards by next week I won't choreograph either of your programs. Both of you are my fans, so I'm sure you'll manage." 

That's probably why Yuri and Yuuri were both even here now. They didn't love Victor. They were Victor's fans. He should have known better. The alpha could feel himself shut down, he needed to be alone, he needed to sort out exactly what he was feeling.  

When Yuri said something about the alpha giving him a program that wins, the alpha prickled and snapped again.   

"It's up to you whether you win or not. If I skated the program, I'd win for sure."  

But the angry alpha, young and immature, only rose to Victor's anger and snapped back.  

"If I win, Victor, you're coming back to Russia. And you'll be my coach! That's what I want!"  

Well, maybe Victor didn't have anything here, since Yuuri had rejected him after all, and so callously.  

"Sure," Victor easily agreed with the young pup's demands to leave Japan. He couldn't smell anything from the omega, _what was he even thinking right now? Feeling?_  So Victor turned to Yuuri and tried to question him.   

"Yuuri what about you? What would you like to do if you win?"  

"I want to eat pork cutlet bowls with you, Victor. I want to keep on winning, and keep on eating pork cutlet bowls. So I'll skate to "Eros". I'll give it all the eros I've got!"  

Victor was shocked. He could now smell confidence, assurance, and a fair amount of anger coming from the omega. He felt ashamed,  _what had he done?_ He had said and done horrible things. _They really needed to talk._   

"Great! That's exactly what I like!" Victor tried to respond cheerfully. _He was so fucked._  

That night, when Yuri had been tucked away into bed by the alpha and omega after bathing him, Victor sat in their nest and hung his head.  _He was so fucked._  

Yuuri came into the room and perched on a chair in the corner, not deeming the alpha or their nest worthy enough of his company at the moment.  _Victor was so, so fucked._  The alpha hung his head lower, and tilted his neck out in submission, whining lowly between his teeth.  

"I'm sorry, Yura, for everything," Victor husked out, hating that this was the first time they had talked openly in days and it was because he had messed up, big time.  

"I'm sorry for our mating, Vitya, I knew it was-" 

"What?!" Victor yelped, interrupting the omega- _Y_ _uuri regretted their mating? He knew it! He knew he had really, truly messed everything up!_ He felt tears begin to stream down his face and he choked out a cough quickly, before trying to apologize again.  

"Stop!" Yuuri rushed to the distressed alpha in their nest and hushed him with a finger to his lips, "Shh, Vitya, I'm so sorry, we'll make everything better, we will," Yuuri cooed at the alpha, before deciding he could get close enough to cuddle the upset alpha and putting small kisses on his reddening ears.  

Victor calmed his breathing and whined in confusion- _what was even happening?_  

Yuuri took a deep breath and finally explained, "Victor, I've been feeling insecure, since our last, um, time together. I know I was a lot, Vitya, but I hoped I hadn't scared you away and now, and, and now...Yurio-"  

"Yuuri! I was worried I had scared you away!" Victor interrupted, feeling elation surge through him, quickly sparking away at any of his lingering glumness.  

"Well and now, with Yurio, I-I feel...h-he's ours, right? Our pup?" Yuuri managed, hiding his face timidly in the alpha's neck, so utterly embarassed and ashamed of what he had just said out loud, knowing exactly how crazy and awful and  _omega_  it sounded, and  _he just couldn’t-_  

"Yes, of course, Yuuri, of course," Victor quickly assured, squeezing the omega tight in his arms, just so relieved they were at least on the same page about this, "I've always felt rather attached to him since he would skate at the rink all alone and, well, I know he's angry and he just-" 

"He just needs love. He needs us," Yuuri finished for the alpha, sure of what he was saying and feeling now.  

Victor nodded, before squeezing the omega tightly in his arms again, "Yes, Yura, yes, yes, yes!" 

 _But this still didn’t put everything right...right?_  

"What is it, Vitya?" Yuuri cooed again, noticing the alpha tensing up.  

"Earlier, on the ice...you, you said...you...don't know love? You don't love me?" Victor nearly cried, having a difficult time getting the words out.  

Yuuri shook his head fervently, "No, no, Vitya, of course that's not what I meant, Vicchan, I love you, I really, really love you. I-I just didn't know, I mean, I don't really know what Agape and Eros are, to me, like I mean, how I would portray those to an audience. I know how I love you. I know how I love my family. I know how I love my friends. I know how I love Yurio...I-I just, I don't know how to define those in the terms of performing for an audience of strangers, you know?" 

Victor did know. He understood. And he felt so much better for understanding now.  

"Yuuri, when I first started choreographing those pieces, they felt empty, nothing, when I was skating them to the invisible audience in the rink. Now, I think of you, and all the ways I love you. And now that I gave Yurio Agape, which I'm ashamed to say I did because I was angry and hurt, I can see my familial love for him in the piece as well. But you'll find your Eros, I know you will, Yura." 

Yuuri put their foreheads together, "I love you, Vicchan, and everything is okay," he whispered soothingly, hugging the alpha close.  

"I love you more, Yura, I love you so much more." 


	21. Assemblé 2: Tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor tells Yuuri the story of his League of Evil Exes. Then they bond and reconnect emotionally and physically. 
> 
> ***(Please see chapter warnings for content!)*** 
> 
> "Assemblé: /asɑ̃ble/ BALLET noun: to assemble or place (the feet) together in the air (usually in fifth position) during a jump. A dance move resulting in two legs joining together in the air."
> 
> Songs: 
> 
> Take Me to Church by Hozier  
> Little Black Submarines by The Black Keys  
> You by The Pretty Reckless  
> Make Me Wanna Die by The Pretty Reckless  
> Blue Heaven Midnight Crush by Betty Who  
> Electric Blue by Arcade Fire  
> Not Afraid Anymore by Halsey  
> Love Me Like You Do by Ellie Goulding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNINGS:
> 
> Anxiety attack  
> Cussing  
> Self-depreciating thoughts and statements  
> Gender-identity discussion and gender-norm issues  
> Discussion of underage dating  
> Discussion of parental death  
> Forced coming out as gay  
> Homophobia  
> Discussion of emotionally abusive relationships  
> Discussion of fear of physical abuse within a relationship  
> Discussion of 'friends with benefits' past relations between Victor/Christophe  
> Discussion of past physical abuse within a relationship
> 
> The comfort/fluff/smut starts after this break: *~~~*

It was late. As The alpha and omega pulled their bodies away from each other in their nest, they could feel the lateness of the hour seeping into their bones, and they seemed to exist in that twilight in-between, where everything felt slightly parallel to reality with night-sounds coming in from the outside and everything inside the inn quiet while the people within settled into bed and began to dream.  

Victor felt buoyed by Yuuri's reassurances. He knew they were both still overwhelmed with hormones from their recent mating. Certainly, the alpha and omega most likely wouldn't have adopted Yurio into their lives with such certainty and finality within the past 48 hours otherwise. And while Victor had spent the day stressed and anxious, hurt and insecure, over where he stood with Yuuri in their relationship, the omega had soothed his ragged fears within their simple conversation in a matter of minutes.  

But now, as the hours grew later, and they were untangling themselves from each other to settle deeper into their nest and to prepare to actually sleep, Yuuri turned the lights off in the room until only the salt lamp nightlight remained on, glowing warmly in the dark space; Victor felt his anxiety creep back over him like slivers fracturing through his calmed thoughts and peace of mind one after the other.  

They were in love. They had told each other of their love many, many times by now. They were officially courting as of before their most recent mating, so it had been several days now. They somehow had adopted a teenage child into their lives whom they both viewed as their pup- _hormones_ , Victor could only blame with an internal sigh every time he thought on his intense feelings for Yurio brought on within hours.  

And Victor felt like surely they were now on the same page about many things, Eros and Agape, Yurio, courting, their feelings...except, he felt burdened by all of the things Yuuri just didn't know. It wasn't that Victor had purposefully kept anything from the omega, it just felt like things had a tendency to rush around and around them, and he constantly was in a void of emotions and feelings _and, and, and so many new things and changes!_ He rarely had time to just sit down and talk with the quiet omega about  _things_. Things that were eating him up inside.  

 _Alyona_.  _Katya._ _Grisha_.  _Kostya_.  _Nadia. Stas._ _Taras_.  _Christophe..._  

He had tried talking about his exes once, before they visited the ninja house. Yuuri had resoundingly shut him down. And he knew he had a rather bad tendency to bring things up at inopportune times-like  _always_ -but he just, right now, feeling like they had worked everything out between them, but also knowing there was so much more inside of him, that he needed to get out,  _right now, he just needed_ - 

 _Alyona_.  _Katya._ _Grisha_.  _Kostya_.  _Nadia. Stas._ _Taras_.  _Christophe..._  

He needed to breathe. He couldn't breathe!  

 _Alyona_.  _Katya._ _Grisha_.  _Kostya_.  _Nadia. Stas._ _Taras_.  _Christophe..._  

The alpha's chest started bucketing with great, big gasps that didn't seem to drag any air past his lips. The room was spinning and his hearing had gone fuzzy, his mouth felt like it was full of puffy, dry cotton.  

 _Alyona_.  _Katya._ _Grisha_.  _Kostya_.  _Nadia. Stas._ _Taras_.  _Christophe..._  

"Vicchan, Vicchan! Vicchan, Victor, what's wrong? Come on, breathe with me, honey, just follow my breaths. That's right, just like that, breathe with me, in and out, in and out."  

 _Alyona_.  _Katya._ _Grisha_.  _Kostya_.  _Nadia. Stas._ _Taras_.  _Christophe..._ _Yuuri. Yuuri. Yuuri._  

Yuuri grabbed Victor's clammy face in between his hands and brought their faces close together, so that the alpha could feel the omega's breath on his lips, trying to draw the panicking man's focus to just himself, to calm his erratic breathing down.  

 _Yuuri. Yuuri. Yuuri._  

"In and out, that's good Vicchan, you're doing so good, in and out," Yuuri kept up his steady directions, cooing shakily at the panicked alpha as he was able to calm his breathing into a more regular pattern.  

 _Yuuri. Yuuri. Yuuri._  

Yuuri petted his hands against Victor's face and ran his fingers through the alpha's silver hair, relieved as he felt the alpha's tense form loosen and sink against the omega, breaths shaky but more even now.  

"Vicchan, what happened? Do you want to talk about it?" Yuuri quietly asked, holding the alpha to himself tightly as Victor whined and dried his tears in the omega's sticky neck.  

"I-I had an anxiety attack, Yura, y-you know it happens to me sometimes," Victor breathed, feeling embarrassment and shame make their way through him.  _He was too_ _dramatic. Too emotional_ _. Too, too much, too_ _-_  

"I know, Vicchan, I know. But did you want to talk about what triggered it? Maybe I can help?" Yuuri prodded in his quiet, calm voice, petting the alpha still, trying to offer any comfort he could.  

"I know we just made everything better between us, and, I'm so sorry, I just-" 

"Vicchan, you have nothing to apologize for, everything's okay. I just don't want you to be triggered by something again if we can avoid it." 

"Yuuri, can I, can we, I mean..." Victor took a deep breath, and pushed himself out from the comfort of the omega's arms, "I have to tell you about, about.. _.them_." 

"You can tell me anything, Vicchan, I will always listen to you." 

"Well, the last time, I mean, I tried, but you shut me down," Victor mumbled, ears heating up in shame, he didn't want Yuuri to be angry with him or to think he was blaming the omega for any part of his anxiety attack, that was all on the alpha's ridiculous dramatics.  

"Oh," Yuuri suddenly seemed to remember what the alpha was talking about, "In the garden, when I was exercising, and you wanted to start talking about our past relationships? And I...Oh Vicchan, I'm sorry, I didn't realize it was so important to you, that you needed to talk about it. I shouldn't have done that to you, I'm so sorry. Please, Vicchan, please tell me anything you need to. And I'll answer questions if you need me to, but there's not really much to tell you about my dating history." 

Victor shook his head and settled into the nest, folding his legs beneath himself, and tucked his hands together nervously. He felt like he was steeling himself for what he was about to tell the omega, his mate, he felt like he was getting ready to be abandoned- _again_.  

"I have a lot of exes," Victor started, whispering the words softly into the air between them.  

Yuuri tried to get closer to the alpha, trying to provide any source of comfort he could, but was rebuffed. He settled across from the alpha in their nest and chewed his lip nervously;  _what could Victor possibly have to tell him about his exes that was so bad?_  

The alpha laughed, bitterly, and the omega flinched at the harsh sound leaving his normally bubbly and cheerful coach's lips.  

"You know that movie, it's based on a graphic novel series, Scott Pilgrim?" Victor continued when he saw the omega nod silently by the dim light of the nightlight, glad they had kept the main lights off so he didn't have to face the nuances of expressions the omega would surely wear as he heard all of Victor's sordid past, "Ramona's League of Evil Exes?" Victor laughed harshly again, "I have my own League of Evil Exes."  

"Oh Vicchan, I'm sorr-" 

"Don't," Victor interrupted, choking the words out, "Don't feel sorry for me. I invited every single one of them into my life. I wanted all of them. All of them. And I was heartbroken every single time they each left me. I did it all to myself. All of it." 

Yuuri remained silent, bowing his head and shutting his eyes, Victor just needed a listening ear right now, arguing wouldn’t accomplish any good between them, the omega could sense the radiating aggression, hurt, anger, and sadness coming from the alpha and it was causing his heart to ache for the silver-haired skater, terribly.  

"Their names are: Alyona, Katya, Grisha, Kostya, Nadia, Stas, and T-Taras," Victor could barely say his most recent exes' name out loud- _the name burned his lips, it hurt._

"And I guess, Christophe. He's not really evil or anything. And he's not technically an ex of mine. But him and I have been involved, I'll get to that." 

The alpha peeked up at the omega, who was still listening silently. He supposed this really was his time. He would lay all of his sins at his mate's feet and hopefully by the time he was done Yuuri would still want him. He didn't see how, but it had to happen sooner or later and maybe it would hurt less if it was sooner rather than later.  

Victor winced as he thought of how happy they had been nearly 30 minutes ago, and how he had brought everything crashing down. Their relationship had really been an emotional rollercoaster since their most recent mating, and Victor thought, he might as well end things with a bang while they were at it. He couldn't stand the thought of ensconcing himself deeper into the omega's life without his mate knowing every nasty, little detail of his disastrous dating history so Yuuri could decide for himself, knowledgably, whether or not he wanted to really be with Victor, whether Victor was really worth it or not.  

"I've always been, well, effeminate, you know? I'm not exactly an ideal alpha. I'm too pretty to be a real alpha. I smell like fucking roses. I like taking it up the ass too much to be a good alpha," Victor snorted bitterly, "I'm too much of a sissy fuck-"  

"Stop. Victor, stop it," Yuuri finally spoke, unable to listen to the alpha verbally berate himself any longer.  

Victor shut his jaw with an audible click of his teeth.  

"You said-" Victor gritted out, feeling irrational anger burst through his sadness, _he was fucking everything up._   

Yuuri shushed the alpha and joined him against the side of their nest. The omega pushed his hand into Victor's hands, tangling their fingers together and nudged their shoulders and torsos closely together.  

"You can tell me anything, Vicchan. I will listen. You can tell me about your exes. But I don't want you t-to say these horrible things about yourself that-" 

"But Yuuri, they're true!" Victor tried to cut in. 

"They are  _not_ true," the omega finished firmly, squeezing the alpha's hands in his.  

"Just tell me what happened, Vitya. Tell me what they did to you, to make you believe those lies about yourself," Yuuri whispered, laying a small kiss on the alpha's shoulder, and trying to send calming pheromones to cloud around Victor to help.  

Victor took a deep breath, scenting the apple blossoms sweetening the air around them, and felt his heart flutter a bit, his stomach and chest filling from their sinking chill as his omega comforted him.  _He could do this. He could do this. He could. He really could._   

"Alonya was my first dating partner. She was a female alpha. I met her at the skating rink, she worked in the office there. She was a lot older than me, when we started dating, I was 15 and she was 19. Yakov and Lilia didn't know, but she started coming over to the dorms I was living at and we would just talk about, well, everything, really. It was like she wanted to know anything and everything about me. If I hadn't have been so starry-eyed over her, I might have realized sooner what was going on," Victor took a settling breath, letting Yuuri's sweetness seep into him, and continued, appreciating the soothing circles the omega was pressing into his hands with his fingers, "She, she wanted to make money I guess, she was trying to make it out on her own and the rink didn't pay her much for her administrative work. She just answered the phones and booked appointments there, I think. Anyway, I was in Juniors, you know? And I had already gathered some small fame then. I had a following, already, you could say. And I was just trying to figure out who I really was. We never did anything physical. We didn't hold hands. We never even kissed, I think I disgusted her in a lot of ways, but I was so lonely and I just wanted someone to talk to, and she wanted to talk to me, so I just went with it. I thought maybe she didn't want to touch me a lot because alpha's aren't scent compatible with each other and I didn't understand at the time that there are ways around that. We spent two weeks together, just talking every day after practice in my dorm. And so...I...She..." 

Yuuri nudged Victor's shoulder, "What happened, honey?" 

"She sold some exclusive to the press about how 'Russia's Rising Junior Skating Star' was gay. She told them everything I had told her in confidence, about how I felt about my androgynous appearance, about how I liked to wear makeup when I could get away with it, about how I had been attracted to males and females, and then she spun it into some horrible thing about how it was all because m-my p-parents, they, they died when I was so young, you know? And she told the press that because my parents had died when I was little and I was basically, how did she put it? She said I was a 'feral, homosexual, confused alpha'. And that I wouldn't be this way if Yakov and Lilia had been better guardians and didn't let me live independently in the dorms. The press, well they ate it up of course. You know, being openly homosexual in Russia just isn't done. At least, not when you're in the spotlight, like I am much of the time..." Victor trailed off, even the memory of what Alonya had done still hurt him so deeply.  

"Vicchan, oh honey," Yuuri gasped, pulling the alpha into a hug. 

But Victor struggled out of the hug, pulling away from the comfort of Yuuri's embrace, "T-that's just one, Yura," Victor choked out, trying to swallow his tears, "She's just the first. And it was my fault because I trusted her and I was so pathetic I thought she really liked me, that she wanted me, I'm so stupid..." Victor broke off, crying in earnest now.  

"Shh, Vicchan, come here honey," Yuuri cooed, trying to gather the alpha back into his arms, rocking the larger man gently, and nuzzling against his ear and putting small kisses in his wake, "You don't have to tell me the rest tonight if you can't, honey, I'll be ready to listen whenever you're ready." 

Victor shook his head, "I just, I just want to get this over with. Then I'll know if..." 

"If?" 

"If y-you'll still want to be with me," Victor cried, practically howling now, as he buried his wet face into his hands and shook in the omega's arms.  

"Listen Victor," Yuuri started, firm and unrelentingly serious, "Victor. Look at me." 

The alpha calmed his sobbing and managed to look at the omega in the darkened room, "Victor. I love you. I will always love you. Nothing will change that. I promise you that. I vow it. So please, Vicchan, don't let that be a worry on your heart right now. You can tell me all of this and we will get through it together. I won't leave you. I'll never leave you," Yuuri finished, shyly feeling himself blush in the dark at his heartfelt revelations, but he really wanted the alpha to know, he meant it, he could never see himself walking away from Victor, ever.  

Victor took some deep, shuddering breaths and continued.  

"Okay. So then there was Katya. She was a female beta. I met her when I was 16. She was also 16. She was the sister of one of the skaters on the hockey team that would practice at the rink. She used to watch her brother in practice and then started coming early to watch me practice after coming early by chance one day and seeing me skate. I think she actually liked me, she seemed enamored with me, and I ate it up, of course. But after everything with Alonya the year before, the press still hounded me all the time. Like all the time, Yura, I couldn't go to the bathroom at the rink without someone from the press finding their way into the building, even with the extra security Yakov hired, and trying to corner me to answer their random questions from the stall. Katya and I never really went on dates or even went to my dorm room together like Alonya and I did, the press stopped that from happening. We would just spend time together in the bleachers, or in the small break room inside the rink where skaters could eat a snack or watch tv. We talked a fair amount, though I was ridiculously shy to tell her anything like I had told Alonya. We held hands and I remember being in awe because she didn't complain about the way I smelled like roses when she was near to me. But then, after about a month, she actually walked me back to my dorm one day. It was the first time we were together outside of the rink. I tried kissing her at my door and the press burst out of the stairwell down the hall, they had found me, and they just started screaming questions at us about if this meant I was really gay and what did she think about my long hair, and such, and she panicked and ran away and I hid in my dorm room, locking myself in." 

Victor paused and Yuuri grabbed his hand impossibly tighter, melding their fingers together in his hot grip.  

"It was too much for her. I was too much for her. We hadn't really officially said we were dating so I guess our breakup wasn't official either. But she basically just stopped talking to me. She eventually stopped coming to the rink all together. We never spoke after that. She completely ignored me. It didn't matter that Yakov had basically hired 24-7 security protection for the dormitories and amped up what was already happening at the rink. It wasn't good enough for her. I wasn't good enough for her." 

Yuuri hummed quietly, sadly, and nudged Victor's shoulder with his own, urging him to continue, like trying to draw poison from a wound. And Victor supposed that's what was happening. It needed to happen.  

"Grisha was next. He was 21. I met him in the apartment building I had moved into when I turned 18 and moved out of the dormitories. He lived on the bottom floor and I kept running into him because his work schedule coincided with my practice schedule oddly enough. I guess he had to be up super early each day to commute to his job, and would return late in the evening. He was a vet tech for an office that specialized in rural areas with farm and large animals. He didn't know who I was, he didn't really know anything about skating. He just thought I was pretty, and he said when he smelled my scent, it was so floral, he thought I was actually a male omega. He was a male alpha. We didn't even talk about our secondary genders the first couple of times he took me on dates. He really just thought I was a male omega who smelled a bit odd. I just remember being really excited because he seemed very physically in to me, you could say. Like he was always holding my hand, and tugging on my ponytail, and he even kissed me after our second date," Victor sighed, "Anyway, he ended up getting a horrible migraine one night after like our fourth date because we had gone back to his apartment and were making out and he got some of my scent oil too close to his mouth as he was marking up my neck. He even ended up throwing up. When he figured out I really was an alpha and not just a weird-smelling omega he flipped out. He yelled at me and said I was a horrible tease, trying to trick alphas into thinking I was an omega. He called me a-all kind of h-horrible names, said a lot of horrible things, really, most of it true," Victor mumbled while Yuuri chided him, "Vitya, no." 

Victor sighed again, "So that was Grisha. We lasted a month. Like Katya and I." 

"Then, there was Kostya. I was 20. I think he was 22 or older. I hadn't had any successful relationships at that point and I was scared, really, of trying to date anyone else after everything that had happened. I was getting a lot of attention from everyone because of skating and I just tried to ignore it all. But Kostya really tried pursuing me. H-he," Victor swallowed, trying to get this out as painlessly as possible, "He was another male alpha. He was a hockey player who practiced at the rink. He was, he was so big, tall, and had these super wide shoulders. And he was always following me around calling me, 'little alpha' and 'moonlight' because of my hair. He started waiting for me in the locker rooms, the changing areas, and one day when no one else was around he just started kissing me. I let him, I wanted to be wanted, to be touched, and loved. We started this weird routine. Every day, when I was done skating, I would meet him in the locker rooms, and we would do stuff, physically, I mean. He taught me how to suck cock, he gave me my first hand job, and he had started to finger me when we were kissing after a couple of months of this. I think I was ready to give my full anal virginity to him. I thought I was in love with him. We never really talked. We never went on any dates. It was all physical, all in the locker rooms. We never went anywhere else or did anything else. One day, I met his wife. Turns out he would take his wedding ring off for practice so I hadn't seen it. She was looking for him when I came in for practice because he had left his cell phone at home. That was the end of that. I think he would have, would have hurt me, he was so much bigger than me, and he tried intimidating me, but I told him I would tell his wife what he'd done and that I would go to Yakov or to the press and he backed down. We didn't talk after that."  

"Vitya..." Yuuri whispered, feeling tears begin to roll down his cheeks as the alpha shared heartbreaking story after heartbreaking story. Nobody deserved to suffer like this, to have their feelings and their bodies played with and used.  

But Victor continued on, he just wanted to get rid of everything that was hurting him, pulling his heart to the ground, and he found the more he told Yuuri the easier it got to just keep talking, to numb himself to the hurt he was feeling.  

"Christophe is technically next. He was 19 and I was 21. We started hooking up at competitions when we could. Nothing serious, just hand jobs and kissing in closets and hotel rooms and stuff. I don't really know why it started, I think I was just so lonely, and he was there and he seemed to really like me. Maybe we could have had something if we had been around each other for any amount of time, I don't know. But then there was Nadia when I was 22. Nadia doesn't come with much of a story. She was a female omega, she was 24. She was a fan. I met her at the bar of the hotel I was staying at during one of my competitions. We actually dated for almost six months and I lost my virginity to her in one way, we had penetrative sex, where I topped. She wasn't comfortable with me knotting her though, so I never finished inside of her, even with a condom on. She refused to be around me when I was having a rut or she was having a heat. And in the end, she told me I was just...too much. I was too feminine. The way my roses smelled to her made her feel sick. She said they smelled moldy. She refused to even discuss penetrating me, she said I shouldn't need it if I was a real alpha. She made me cut my hair, she said it was too effeminate. And then when I did cut it she said it still didn't look good, too 'unkempt'. She said I was not anything like she thought I really would be, I wasn't a real man, a real alpha, and she didn't want someone who was too, just too much," Victor ended quietly, voice breaking a bit, before he cleared his throat and continued while Yuuri scooted even closer to his body and hooked his chin over the alpha's shoulder.  

"Your hair is gorgeous, Vicchan, and I love the way you smell. It's the most comforting smell in the world to me," Yuuri mumbled into Victor's shoulder, hugging him close and whispering, "I don't think you're too much." 

"I told Nadia I loved her, I thought she loved me too," Victor whispered back, hurting.  

"Christophe and I continued to hook up on and off in between Nadia, Stas, and T-Taras. We started having sex, because I had already had sex with Nadia. Christophe was the first to penetrate me. He didn't care that we were both alphas and that I liked being penetrated. He knotted me and let me knot him. He said my exes were assholes. But we weren't scent compatible, really, and he just kept flitting from partner to partner and I was kind of the sprinkles on top to him. And I don't mean that in a bad way, I love Christophe, he's my best friend, it just is what it is," Victor tried explaining, not wanting Yuuri to come out of the conversation disliking his best friend, even if the alpha felt guilty for his relations with the Swiss alpha after Victor had decided he wanted to be with Yuuri.  

"I dated Stas for a couple of months when I was 24. He was a male beta. He was 23. I met him at a bar I used to frequent. Basically, we went on a lot of dates, and we had sex a few times, but he only wanted to bottom. He never let me knot him, so I never finished inside of him like with Nadia. He was the first person I shared a rut with. He thought my nesting was weird. He hated how strong my scent got while I was in a rut. He wouldn’t have sex with me during a rut, because he just was grossed out by the whole experience. He thought my fangs were disgusting too. So when I say shared a rut, I really mean, he was in the same room while I was just masturbating and having a horrible time and he was watching and generally being grossed out. He ended it because I just wasn't enough of an alpha for him. He wanted a real alpha male and I was just too emotional, too dramatic, too sensitive for him." 

"Sounds like he doesn't really want an alpha if your rut grossed him out," Yuuri hummed, kissing Victor's shoulder and neck.  

Victor shrugged, "Who knows what he really wanted. I just know it wasn't me." 

But then he tensed all over, knowing what would come next.  _Taras_.  

"T-Taras, h-he's l-last," Victor stuttered, feeling his body shutter down.  

Yuuri rubbed Victor's back comfortingly, "You're almost done, Vicchan, you can do this, honey." 

"Taras. I dated him for a year. From when I was 25 until I was 26. He was 30. He was a male omega. H-he...he..." Victor trailed off, maybe he couldn't do this after all.  

Yuuri unwrapped himself from where he was entwined with the alpha and all but pulled the larger man into his lap, surrounding him with his embrace. He released cloud after cloud of comforting pheromones and pressed his nose and lips against the alpha's scent gland on the right side of his neck in a snug hold. Victor felt himself relax infinitesimally into his omega's arms and started speaking again.  

"Okay, so I met Taras through an online dating site I was trying out. I just wanted to find someone, you know? I hated being alone. He honestly seemed so sweet and nice. We just communicated online and through text messages and stuff for 3 or 4 months in the beginning. We actually would have like video chat sex and phone sex and stuff, and it seemed we were compatible at least like that. He had a thing for dominant alphas, but it hadn't really been an issue because he always said I was alpha enough for him. But then when we started meeting in person, he wanted to share my ruts with me. So, after 6 months of dating, and several in-person dates, I let him share my rut with me. He wasn't supposed to be in a heat, so we didn't have to worry about getting too out of control with each other or anything." 

"He...he started doing this thing, after the second rut he shared with me. He didn't like that I needed nests so much? He wanted to make the nests for me, or something? So he would make me wait in the living room while I was going through pre-rut symptoms and he would make the nest on my bed. Only, he didn't really make nests, I think he was trying to like break me of my dependency on them? It was really weird. Anyway, he also liked to play games where he could see how long I could last without touching myself during a rut while watching him touch himself in the same room. He said later he was just trying to edge me or something to see if it would bring 'the real alpha out in me'. The l-last rut I shared with him was right before we broke up. It was the sixth rut he had shared with me. By this time, when I was in a rut, I wouldn't have any nest, I wasn't allowed to have one-" 

At that, Yuuri couldn't help himself, he could hear low growls guttering from his chest at the abuse Victor was describing. That omega had abused his alpha horribly. His arms tightened around the alpha and he tried to clamp down on the angry growling vibrating through him, this wasn't about him or his feelings, this was about Victor and the omega needed to be there to support his alpha.  

Victor seemingly ignored the omega's tensed form and the angry growls coming from him, he continued on, "He also had gotten me to where I could go for like four hours, or around half of my rut without ever touching myself, I would just watch him masturbate in front of me, and could only orgasm if I didn't touch myself. Then for the second half of my rut I could have sex with him, but only with me penetrating him, with me topping. And he would wear like this nose plug to 'get rid of my horrible rotten flower smell'. But this time, he made me wait almost my entire rut without touching myself, while he just kept masturbating in front of me again and again. I think it had been something like seven hours. And I was delirious in pain."  

"I know I was crying. My whole body felt like it was on fire, like I was covered in fire ants or something and they were all stinging and biting me again and again. It was...i-it was h-horrible," Victor managed, feeling tears well up at the memory, "And I had nowhere safe to g-go. I had no n-nest. I couldn’t leave m-my apartment like that. Makkachin w-was h-howling outside the bedroom door, I-I think M-Makka h-heard my cries and was freaking out. A-and T-Taras, h-he just kept laughing at me, s-saying things like if I was a real alpha I would just t-take what I wanted. B-but every time I tried going over to him t-to t-touch him or if I t-tried t-touching m-myself, he would s-slap m-my hands a-and..." Victor broke off whimpering, sobbing all over again while his omega squeezed him tightly in his arms, trying to layer comfort around the upset alpha.  

When Victor calmed his cries down he sniffled and gulped some deep breaths before continuing, "After that, he left me. I wasn't enough of an alpha for him. I was too-just too much me. Not enough and too much all at once. And after that, there were others who tried to date me when I met them randomly here and there. But nothing ever came of it, really. And then Yuuri, when I met you, I just, I just knew you were right, we would be right together, I just felt it but then I thought you didn't want me back and I-I asked, I asked Christophe t-to, I asked him to m-make love to me, I just wanted to pretend it was you and I...I'm so sorry, Yura," Victor finished brokenly, voice cracking and unable to continue without gulping down more sobs and wretched tears.  

*~~~* 

"Okay, okay, Vicchan. I've got you now, and you're safe. You're safe here with me." Yuuri cooed softly to the crying alpha in his arms, rocking him from side to side, gently, as best he could within their nest.  

So much made sense now. Victor's anxieties and insecurities over their relationship, the alpha's sensitivity to Yuuri's reluctance to start courting and sharing his feelings more openly, and Victor's strong attachment to their nest. Yuuri felt overwhelmed with the information that had just been poured at his feet by his alpha; but he was sure of a few things now more solidly than ever: he loved Victor Nikiforov with all of his heart, he would protect Victor Nikiforov from the ugliness of the world for the rest of their lives if he could, and Victor Nikiforov was somehow, simultaneously, the strongest and the most fragile alpha he had ever met.  

He felt, honored, and cherished, that the alpha would confide in him like this. He couldn't believe anyone would mistreat another person like Victor had been mistreated, and the thoughts of Victor's exes filled him with possessive anger. He normally tried to remain calm as a guiding principle for all of his emotions, but Yuuri knew if he ever met one of Victor's exes in-person, nothing would be able to save them from the omega's wrath.  

"Vitya," Yuuri whispered when Victor's cries had quieted once more; how much had the poor alpha cried tonight? Too much for a lifetime, really.  

"Vitya, I love you," Yuuri tried to reassure simply.  

"Really? Still?" Victor breathed back, hardly daring to believe what he had heard. 

"Vicchan, I really still love you. I will always love you," Yuuri reassured again, holding the alpha against his chest warmly, their sticky skin, coated in tears and sweat, pressing together damply in the nest.  

"I'm not...t-too much?" Victor squeaked, almost mumbling his words, afraid of the answer.  

"You're perfect for me, Vicchan. You're not too much." 

"Thank you, Yura, thank you so much, I just...I just had to get all of that off of my chest, I just had to tell you..." 

"Of course. Thank you, Vitya, for trusting me with that." 

"And...do you forgive me? For Christophe?" 

"There is nothing to forgive, Vicchan. I promise," Yuuri kindly washed away Victor's anxieties and fears simply, lovingly.  

The alpha breathed deeply in relief, feeling happiness balloon up warmly in his chest once more.  

"I love you, Yura, I love you so, so much!" 

"And I love you, Vitya," Yuuri replied, kissing the alpha's wet nose cutely.  

Victor yawned and wiggled a bit in the omega's arms, "Wow, it must be so late..." 

Yuuri took his hand momentarily off of the alpha to check his phone laying in their nest by one of their pillows. It was around midnight.  

"Let's lay down, Vitya, yeah?" 

The alpha nodded, rubbing his face against one of the pillows along the side of their nest to clean it off before laying down, facing the omega in their safe, warm nest. They linked their fingers together and their faces were so close they could feel their warm breaths puffing against each other's lips.  

"Wanna play 20-Questions?" Yuuri asked quietly, thinking this would be the best way to distract the alpha from his earlier confessions, and perhaps also serve the dual purpose of helping himself to share more of his own past and feelings with Victor.  

"What's that?" 

"It's this game, Phichit and I used to play when we lived together. You take turns asking each other questions, about anything in your lives, until you've reached 20 questions between the two of the players. It's a fun way to get to know someone better." 

"Okay! I'll go first!" Victor's excited tone made Yuuri smile in the dim lighting, feeling his heart mending as the alpha's cheerful nature came to the surface once more.  

"So do you have your own League of Evil Exes Mr. Katsuki, hmm?" Victor purred playfully, hiding his insecurities and hurt under his teasing question.  

Yuuri chuckled quietly at the alpha's tone, squeezing his hands in reassurance while answering, "No, Mr. Nikiforov, I do not. I've never dated anyone or done anything sexually with anyone until you. I-I just never...liked anyone like that, until I met you. Well...and I always had this...ugh..." 

"Come on, detka _(baby)_ , I showed you mine, now you show me yours," Victor poked playfully at the omega's sides, causing him to squeak and squirm ticklishly.  

"Okay, okay! You know I had a crush on you, like forever, right? I mean, you've seen my collection of posters...I just never thought of anyone like that, except for you. I only ever wanted you," Yuuri groaned in shy embarrassment.  

"Yura, you're so cute!" Victor cooed, hugging the omega to himself tightly, "How was I blessed with someone so cute in my life?!" 

"Alright, alright, hush, Vicchan," Yuuri grumbled, "It's my turn to ask a question now." 

"My Yura is so cute when he's grumpy!" Victor squealed, laughing and tucking himself behind a pillow to stop the omega from tugging at his hair and poking his sides in playful annoyance.  

"What is...your favorite color?" Yuuri asked with a dramatic drop to his voice, causing Victor to laugh again in response to the omega's antics.  

"Pink, of course! What other colors matter?" Victor giggled, "Haven't you seen my prized beauty?" 

"Your pink car!" Yuuri answered, laughing with the alpha, _he loved this silly man so very much_.  

"Okay, hmm...what is your favorite color, then?" Victor asked.  

"Vicchan, I'm pretty sure it's cheating to repeat a question," Yuuri chided gently, before snorting and answering anyway, "It's blue." 

"Ah hah! Pink and blue! What a perfect pair we make!" Victor crowed.  

Yuuri flapped his hands at the alpha, "Shh, shh, Vicchan! You'll wake everyone up!" Yuuri tried to shush the loud alpha but couldn't stop giggling himself,  _he felt so giddy laying in their nest playing 20-Questions at midnight with the alpha of his dreams_.  

"What...hahaha..." Yuuri tried to quell his giggles to get the question out but was having a hard time while Victor snickered along in the dark, "Oh my gosh, Vicchan! Hush! Okay, hahaha..." 

Yuuri stuffed his face into his pillow to calm his laughter down before recovering and asking his question, "What is the worst thing you've ever tasted?" 

"Hmm...okay, one time, when I had just gotten Makkachin, I was eating this Popsicle and I was reading a book on the couch. And Makkachin was sitting next to me and I didn't notice but Makka would lick the Popsicle when I would pull it away from my mouth to look down at my book or turn a page and I couldn't figure out why the flavor had gotten all bitter and icky until Makka tried taking a bite out of the Popsicle," Victor broke off laughing, "And then Makka hadn't figured out that it would be so cold on her teeth I think, and she started spitting the Popsicle out all over my book! It was awesome," the alpha finished, chuckling fondly at the memory.  

"Wow. You're special, Vicchan," Yuuri teased.  

"Alright, what is...the best thing you've ever tasted?" Victor asked in reply, giggling when the omega tutted at his less-than-creative return question.  

Yuuri blushed suddenly and mumbled something into his pillow shyly.  

Victor nudged the omega's shoulder and whined at him until he pulled his head up and said, "Fine, it's y-your scent, okay? I-I love the way your rose scent tastes, your venom, when I kiss your scent glands or kiss your mouth. It's probably my favorite thing in the world, except for Katsudon, but even then...I...now, I associate the flavor of Katsudon with the first time we m-mated, because you had just eaten it and your kisses tasted like it and..." Yuuri squeaked shyly and hid his burning face back in the pillow, grumbling.  

Victor crowded behind the omega, kissing along the back of his neck and spine softly, "I love the way your slick tastes, kotyonok  _(kitty),_ it's like eating baked apples and cinnamon. It's so sweet, you're so sweet..." Victor moaned softly, slathering his tongue down the omega's spine until he placed a kiss right on the top of his tailbone and pulled back.  

"Can I...c-can I, make love to you, Vicchan?" Yuuri whispered.  

"Hmm, is that your next question, moya lyobov'  _(my love)_?" 

"Yes. I-I want to, I want to make love to you Vicchan. I want you to know that-that I'm yours and y-you're mine," Yuuri tried to get out, combating his shyness with his desire to show the alpha just how much he cherished him.  

"Yes, Yura." 

The alpha rolled onto his back while Yuuri climbed in between his legs, kissing the alpha heatedly, "Use my slick?" Yuuri mumbled against Victor's lips, before breaking their kiss to push his backside up into the alpha's hands and start licking as much of the Russian's scent from his neck as the omega could get.  

"You want to...top? You're sure you're ready for this?" 

Yuuri nodded surely, "I love you Vicchan, I'm ready for this. I want this, with you." 

Victor felt himself sink into their nest happily, he couldn't believe his omega was about to fill the alpha's body as his own. He felt deliriously happy, buzzing with love-what a stark contrast to how he felt not too long ago.  

Yuuri continued kissing Victor and leaving heated bites and sucking marks into the alpha's neck wherever he could reach. The alpha was fingering the omega's slicked, soaking entrance while their hardened sexes rubbed together with delicious friction. Yuuri started moaning and whining against Victor's neck when the alpha started pressing right into his prostate gland with three long fingers. With a shudder and a gasp the omega orgasmed all over both of their stomachs where they were pressed together and Yuuri quickly swiped his hand through his own slick, pouring down his thighs, and his semen, to lube his fingers up.  

Victor grabbed his knees and spread himself lewdly for his lover, his cock levering up and down with his movements as his knot was already swollen and throbbing in the night air. He could feel his fangs pricking at his gums, and his venom was numbing and stinging his throat as he swallowed mouthfuls of it, his body not producing it quickly enough for the tempting, gorgeous omega above him.  

Yuuri rubbed his slicked fingers against Victor's entrance and pressed one deeply inside, thrusting in and out a few times before the alpha whined and requested a second finger quickly. The omega complied and started scissoring his fingers to stretch the alpha for the intrusion to come, pulling and pushing against the rippled ring of muscles that made the barrier to his lover's entrance.  

Yuuri stretched Victor on three of his fingers before slicking his hardness up with more of his own, natural lubricant and the remnants of his own orgasm on their bellies and pressing the swollen crown of his cock against the alpha's spasming hole.  

"V-Vicchan," Yuuri panted, pausing, while the alpha bucked and whined beneath him, "Did you want me to put a condom on?"  

The omega was sure he still had some from when he used them on his toys to keep the cleaning and maintenance easier. He hadn't even thought to ask until this moment, when they were both desperate to just connect in the most primal, intimate of ways.  

Victor shook his head fervently, "No Yuuri, you haven't been with anyone else, and I'm clean, I got tested before I came to Japan. I want you to be inside of me, with no barriers. Just p-put one on if you want to." 

"Alright, Vitya," Yuuri responded quietly before groaning and sinking the head of his long, thin sex into the alpha's stretched entrance.  

They both moaned at the intrusion and Victor's muscles spasmed wildly around Yuuri's cockhead, causing the omega to hold himself still inside of the alpha before pressing deeper when he felt his lover's sheath relax around him a bit.  

Yuuri seated himself fully in Victor's body and let out a shaky groan at the velvet heat that surrounded his sex-his lover's body felt like Heaven. Victor reached up to the omega's face with shaking hands and pulled his lover's body down onto his own, so that they were connected at their cores and laying chest to chest against each other, fingers tangling and lips meeting damp and messy between their gasping breaths.  

Yuuri could see the electric blue of Victor's eyes glinting in the dim, midnight light, shining with tears as one, single drop crested his silver eyelashes and trailed down his porcelain cheekbone.  

"Why are you crying, honey? Does it hurt?" Yuuri asked worriedly, pulling his length out a bit from his lover's body to ease the pressure between them.  

"No, no, it's perfect, Yura. I-I just, I've never made love with anyone who I've really been in love with before, who really loved me back before. It feels, you feel, so perfect inside of me," Victor breathed, sniffling softly before letting out a quiet laugh at his own dramatics.  

Yuuri cooed at the alpha and pushed kisses all over his upturned face, murmuring words of love after each kiss, reassuring his lover of the depth and breadth of his caring emotions.  

Victor finally bucked his hips up against the omega's and urged Yuuri to start really moving. The omega thrust in and out of his lover's body, supporting himself on his knees between the alpha's legs, holding Victor's legs up at the knees with his strong, firm hands, practically bending the alpha in half when he thrust into his body.  

Victor wiggled his hips under the omega and Yuuri's plush cockhead finally pressed into his prostate gland and the alpha moaned long and low, voice breaking as he gasped for, 'More, more, Yura!' 

Yuuri gripped his hands into the alpha's flesh in an uncharacteristic show of possessiveness and gritted out, "You're mine, Vitya, all mine. This is me inside of you, only me, making you all mine." 

Victor needed the possessiveness though and he only whined and canted his hips up into the harsh grabbing from the omega's fingers, wanting, 'More, more, more, Yura, please!' 

Victor's knot felt like it would burst when he finally wrapped his own hands around it, massaging at the hardness and whimpering while it throbbed in his grasp. Yuuri snapped his hips into the alpha's body and sent electric shocks singing through his lover's body until his toes curled and he was spilling his release all over his own stomach and chest between them. The omega held himself as deeply as possible in the alpha's body and shuddered as he emptied his seed into his lover's sheath before collapsing onto the alpha's heaving chest and covering every inch of skin he could reach with kisses.  

They fell asleep tangled and sweaty, as dawn awoke the world around them, reassurances of love falling from their lips as slumber took them together. It didn't matter that Yuri would wake them up in just a couple of hours, screeching at them when their alarms failed to rouse them. It didn't matter that Makkachin was hop into their nest when they woke, harassing them for pets and treats. It didn't matter that they would undoubtedly be completely exhausted and rather useless for practice later that day. The only thing that mattered was that Victor was able to fall asleep in Yuuri's arms with no more tears and that Yuuri had finally been able to express to the alpha just how much he loved him with his body.  

"I love you, Vicchan." 

"I love you, Yura." 


	22. Temps Développé 1: Sire and Dam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri, Yuuri, and Victor discuss what it means to become a family together. Victor shows Yuri and Yuuri the Agape and Eros routines on the ice. 
> 
> “Temps Développé: /tahn dayv-law-PAY/ BALLET: Time developed, developing movement. In ballet terminology this is often shortened to développé.”
> 
> Songs:
> 
> Look After You by The Fray  
> Sit Next to Me by Foster the People  
> Southern Sun by Boy & Bear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNINGS:
> 
> Cussing  
> Mentions of parental abandonment  
> Mentions of past, suspected child abuse  
> Mentions of past parental death

Victor was practically falling into his breakfast while Hiroko knelt next to the sleepy alpha and clucked her tongue every time he would waver on his knees and tip to one side or the other. Yuuri couldn't keep the blush from staining his face as he thought about why they were both so dead-on-their-feet tired, or the heaviness from his heart as he remembered everything the alpha had shared with him about his dating history.

The omega was used to going without sleep from his college days, where he spent more nights than not anxiously studying, doing homework, and stress-eating when he could get away with it rather than sleeping. Phichit had rolled him out of his bed and out the door while still wearing his baggy sweatpants as pajamas too many times to count, pushing and shuffling the omega to his morning classes on time with a hot tea and granola bar to boot. Phichit had always been too good to Yuuri as a roommate and the omega missed his best friend with a severe ache, right between his shoulder blades, that would flare up every so often a few times a day, even with the distraction that was Victor Nikiforov.

Yuri was not amused. Victor could barely keep awake and Yuuri was not much better, sleepily shoveling food into his mouth without missing a beat but also while seemingly ignoring the young, teen alpha. The alpha and omega pair, whom Yuri was fairly certain were mated now, had not addressed all the weirdness between the three of them. Were they trying to act like his parents now or something? He wasn't really sure how he felt about that. He thought he felt good about it, but was really too mixed up with all of his other feelings to decipher one from the other easily. Then there was Hiroko, Yuuri's mother. She mothered everyone it seemed, but this morning when she wasn't clucking at Victor she had all of her attention focused on the young alpha. It was like-like he was suddenly a part of her family or something. Yuri didn't know how he felt about that either. Letting Yuuri clip his bangs back and shuffle him around the onsen was one thing, but he didn't really know this woman at all; he had at least interacted with the Japanese omega several times now but this woman who was cooing at him and trying to braid his hair around his head while he ate her (super good) cooking he didn't know.

Yuri grumbled half-heartedly at Hiroko when she started pinning his braid into place on top of his head with hairpins she magically produced from her pocket. Yuuri and Victor both looked up in attention when Yuri started grumbling and the omega clicked his tongue at the young alpha and frowned while Victor managed a, _'Don't be rude, Yurio,'_ before burying his face back into his breakfast plate. Yuri huffed but when he took his phone out to check his hair, he secretly found he really liked it. He looked at the kind woman and tried to smile at her, mumbling a thank you in English. Hiroko patted his cheek and got up to get more tea for the table.

When Hiroko had left the tea and returned to the kitchen to make more food for their guests, Yuri decidedly broached the weirdness between the three of them, but chose to begin the focus on the alpha and omega pair before him, wanting to find out exactly what was going on between them, really.

"So, when I woke your lazy asses up this morning, you guys were in the same bed...in a nest. Did you have anything to say about that?"

Victor stared silently and Yuuri simply relied with, "You need to watch your language, Yurio. It's rude to curse like that."

"Well, are you two...are you guys like, together? Are you mated now?" Yuri pressed, not able to look at the omega's neck for bites or bruising around his scent glands because he kept wearing that high-necked jacket zipped all the way up.

"I believe that Yuuri is my mate. We are courting. Hopefully one day we will bond and become mates officially," Victor finally answered.

"And Yuuri thinks so too?" Yuri pressed nosily. 

Yuuri nodded, blushing, and stammered, "Yes, Yurio, I f-feel the s-same for Vicchan." 

Yuri wanted to gag when the silver-haired alpha turned to look at the omega like he had hung the moon and stars, eyes going suspiciously glittery like there were tears welling up- _disgusting_.

"So that's why Victor's here, then. Because he thinks you're mates," Yuri said flatly, feeling his heart sink a little (a lot) with the realization that he would likely not be able to get the older alpha to return to Russia with him after all.

"Yuuri is very talented, Yuri. The way he skates inspires me. I was feeling uninspired for the next season, you know this, and Yuuri brought inspiration to my life again, and love. I want to see what Yuuri and I can accomplish together."

"And so-so you're just...gonna stay here? In Japan? Your family, I mean, I am back in Russia. I will be back in Russia, without you. And that's just fine with you? I mean, I guess it is, since you just up and left me anyway without even telling me."

Yuri looked like he might cry though the young alpha would fiercely deny it and Victor felt his heart aching for the teen. He really was terrible. Yuri and Victor had been like two-peas-in-a-pod before Victor had started spiraling down into his uninspired depression, before Yuuri had shown him how colorful life could really be and he had chased the omega to Japan. He had started training with the teen after their practices with Yakov. And when Yuri moved to the dorms where Victor had lived because his deadbeat father had finally left the teen for good, and his grandpa lived too far away from the rink for Yuri to live with him, the silver-haired alpha had become his stand-in friend/father-figure/mentor.

The only reason Yuri had been living with his biological father up until that point was because of his close proximity to the rink anyway. Victor knew there was no love lost between the two. Especially considering the odd bruises and marks the young alpha sometimes sported that couldn't possibly be related to skating, no matter how strongly Yuri said otherwise.

 _Victor had fucked up. Again. Always, it seemed._ He had left Yuri without a thought, without talking to the teen about it. Honestly, he hadn't considered that the angry teen would be so attached, so upset by his leaving, he so rarely showed his emotions at all. In fact, this short conversation was almost making Victor's head spin in awe, this had to be the most Yuri had revealed about his true feelings on anything in years.

The omega had bowed his head and was sitting there silently, letting the two alphas figure their feelings out but Yuri just wanted to curl into an angry ball and hit things- _or hit Victor._

"Yuratchka, I-"

"No, Victor! You don't get to just coddle me and explain this all away. You knew this was coming. Why do you think I came all the way here? To tell you I was happy you a-abandoned me? I mean, everyone else does, so why not you too?"

 _Oh, fuck_. And now the young alpha really was crying, though he was trying terribly to hide it. Victor felt his chest quake with emotion, _how could he make this better?_

But Yuuri, his sweet Yuuri, saved him, saved them all, really.

The omega scooted next to the young alpha and wrapped him in a simple hug. He had unzipped his high-collared jacket so that his scent glands were uncovered and he was exuding calming, motherly pheromones that made Victor think of what brief memories he had of his mother, cool and soothing hands, soft touches to his hair and face, and warm hugs and kisses with a quiet voice murmuring musically down to him. Yuri shockingly buried his face into the omega's shoulder and started sobbing, short and angry snarls pushing their way through his furious cries. Yuuri just rubbed the small alpha's back, and patted in soothing circles, letting the teen cry all his troubles out.

At some point, Hiroko had come and gone, shutting the sliding door to the private dining room they were in, so they wouldn't be disturbed by any wandering guests. A while passed before Yuri finally stopped sobbing and his little face turned even redder than before while he hiccupped and tried to stop the sniffles and gasps sneaking their way through his mouth. Victor was shocked. He had never, never, never seen Yuri so unguarded like this before. He wasn't quite sure how to address it either so he just tried to start with what had caused all this upset in the first place.

"Yuranya," Victor whispered, saving this particular diminutive for moments when he had really fucked up, or when he really felt his affection for the teen overflowing, "Yuranya, I love you, you know that-"

"I d-don't care, Old Man. You left me. Fuck you." Yuri gritted, still trying to keep his gasps and sniffles at bay.

Yuuri tutted softly, "Yuri, don't curse at your sire-I-I mean, don't curse at Vicchan like that."

But the word was out there. _Sire._

"He's not-h-he's n-not my s-sire! He left me, and h-he'll do it again," Yuri gasped out, before burying his face into the omega's shoulder again and practically howling.

Yuuri sighed and grabbed the small alpha up into his arms, holding him tightly, comfortingly, while Victor felt his own tears begin to streak down his face. _He had caused this hurt. He had done this to Yuri. He hated himself._

Victor clambered around the table to sit right next to Yuri, still being held in his omega's arms, and added his own hands to awkwardly pat at the young alpha's back. When Yuri had quieted again he kept his face hidden in the omega's shoulder but Victor could tell he was listening because his body remained tensed up in the omega's hold.

"Yuranya, I love you. I love you very much," Victor continued even though Yuri was shaking his head against Yuuri's neck, "I'm sorry I left you. You're right, it was wrong of me to do that to you. I should have talked to you. I should have explained myself. I-I can't explain where my head was at, I can't explain why I was so careless like that to you, but I can promise you that I do love you very much and that I know my head and heart weren't thinking clearly when I just left like that. I want you to know that I will think more about my actions in the future, especially where they concern you, Yuranya, because you are my family and I care about you so much."

"It was stupid. You're stupid," Yuri grumbled against the omega's neck, still not revealing his face to the older alpha.

"I'm so sorry, Yuranya. I really am. I'm so sorry I left you and didn't talk to you and that it hurt you. I'm so, so sorry."

"And y-you're just gonna stay here now? With Yuuri? Without me?" Yuri mumbled.

"This is where Yuuri is training this year and I'm his coach, I have to stay where he is. And, he's my mate, Yuranya, I can't leave him, I don't want to leave him," Victor helplessly answered, not wanting to hurt Yuri all over again.

"But you can stay here, with us too, Yurio. We would love to have you. Won't you please stay?" Yuuri finally piped up, squeezing the alpha in his arms a bit snugger before Yuri grumbled and toppled himself out of the omega's hold.

"My sire left me. And my dam i-is...s-she p-passed away," Yuuri winced, feeling his heart squeeze for the young alpha, "You're not my sire a-and dam," Yuri muttered, looking down while his sweaty face went red again.

"We could be," Yuuri answered in that beautifully simple way of his, making everything, even life-altering decisions or pronouncements seem so easy-one could just reach out and claim everything the omega was offering with his words in a single grasp and the omega would only be all too happy to give.

"You don't know me," Yuri replied-but it wasn't a no.

"I know you a bit, and I want to get to know you more. And I do know how I feel about you, how my heart recognized you after Vicchan and I...after we m-mated before you arrived," Yuuri's shyness finally made another reappearance at the last part but he continued on, "I already love you, Yuri, and I want to grow to love you more each day, because y-you're my pup. You belong to me, to us, I know it."

Victor's head felt a bit like it was spinning, and he was sure Yuuri and Yuri's felt that way too. Everything was happening so fast, but he was sure they'd settle into things.

Yuri nodded but didn't say anything else. He wiped his face off and didn't look Victor in the eyes when he aimed a punch at the older alpha's right bicep. The teen ducked his head in a show of uncharacteristic shyness before giving Yuuri a hug and shuffling to his feet, stretching, while trying to put on an air of nonchalance.

"So, what do you do around here when you're not practicing? Or do we have to practice this morning? I mean, it's already almost noon."

"Well, normally our routine is to do a morning jog down at the beach, then to work at the ballet studio, then lunch. After lunch I sometimes skate while Yuuri either does exercises to slim down and strengthen his form or he might join me in the rink. But you're right, Yuratchka, it's already almost noon. So maybe we should just do our jog to the beach and have a picnic lunch there before heading to the rink so I can show you Eros and Agape."

"Picnic?" Yuri said, unimpressed.

"Yes! It will be fun!" Victor chirped back cheerfully while Yuuri smiled at the alphas and started clearing the dishes on the table.

"I'll help with that," Yuri muttered when he noticed the omega cleaning up and trailed after Yuuri towards the kitchen with the dirty dishes.

Victor felt his heart jolt happily as he watched Yuri follow Yuuri around the Inn a bit like a lost duckling. The young alpha helped clean their dirty dishes and then tried to help Hiroko and Yuuri back their bento boxes for lunch. Yuri didn't show it too much, but everyone could tell how happy he was that he got to make the rice in his own bento box look like a cat face with Yuuri's guidance.

Victor collected Makkachin from the public dining area where the poodle was harassing the guests for table scraps and they went on their way to the beach. Victor left the bike and jogged with Yuuri and Yuri while Makkachin followed happily along on a leash.

When they were on the warm sand, Victor noticed that Yuri was keeping very close to the omega, sticking to Yuuri like a little shadow. The omega, wisely, did not say anything about the young alpha's rather clingy behavior, but just treated Yuri with his usual kindness.

Soon, Victor was making Yuri laugh again with his antics. He was tossing small bits of food up with his chopsticks, so Makkachin could catch the morsels from the air with a click of her teeth and a happily wagging tail.

They hadn't worn swimming clothes, so they stayed on the dry sand, but Yuri tugged Yuuri's hand and made the omega search for seashells with him under the small pier and at the shoreline remnants from high tide. They joked and laughed back and forth, splashing each other as the waves would come up to tickle their bare feet, and Victor cuddled with Makkachin on the sand and watched fondly.

When the noon sun was moving lower in the sky, and Yuri and Yuuri were comparing seashell finds next to Victor and a snoozing Makkachin, the young alpha said, "I'm sorry, you know? For Sochi. And for, well, the other day."

Victor and Yuuri both looked at the young alpha, a bit startled by the sudden apology, and Yuri hunched his shoulders in, like he was ashamed of the attention he was receiving. Victor tried to remember if he had ever heard the teen apologize to anyone before, verbally. 

"You already apologized. I forgave you, Yuri. Everything is alright," Yuuri replied, reaching over and brushing some of the young alpha's bangs back from where they had fallen out of Hiroko's braid.

Victor tugged on Yuri's earlobe and playfully cooed, "My little Yuratchka's growing up~"

Yuri grumbled and stood up, brushing the sand from his pants, and pocketing one or two of the prettier seashells he had found before starting to walk back up the beach towards the sidewalk.

"Come on, losers! We're going skating!" Yuri yelled over his shoulder, continuing on while Yuuri and Victor scrambled up from the sand and gathered their things.

*~~~*

Yuuri, Yuri, and Victor stopped in the changing room area of the skating rink before getting to the ice to freshen up. Yuri tugged the frazzled, falling braid that Hiroko had carefully woven into his hair this morning out, removing the pins because they were coming out anyway. Yuuri took what suspiciously seemed like scent-cancelling balm out of his bag and rubbed it over his scent glands, eyes motioning to Yuri when Victor quirked a questioning eyebrow at the omega- _why did he want to cover his scent?_ Well, perhaps he was just worried it would bother the younger alpha since exercising (and sweating) tended to make scents stronger. 

Yuuri and Yuri stood by the edge of the ice, behind the boards, at Ice Castle while Victor got the small stereo system they utilized for music in the rink ready for his demonstration.

"First, Yurio's "On Love: Agape. Agape...Unconditional love. God's infinite love is self-sacrificing and uncalculating."

The silver-haired alpha flitted around the ice, looking like an angel in the sunlight streaming in from the windows. The moves were difficult, the sequence of steps and jumps was truly something that would win a golden medal-if Yuri could replicate it correctly. And it wasn't just what Victor was skating on the ice, it was how he was skating the piece-he looked beatific, angelic, wholly ethereal.

When Victor came to a stop on the ice, Yuuri looked dumbfounded and Yuri was looking almost bored.

"Kind of like that. What do you think?"

"Yeah. I pretty much got it."

Victor stifled a laugh when he saw Yuuri's jaw drop in shock. Yuri had seen Victor skate hundreds if not thousands of times over the years. And he knew the younger alpha liked to maintain a constant show of boredom or cool nonchalance as often as possible. Teaching and coaching them both this week would be entertaining to be sure.

Yuuko joined them at the side of the rink and met Yuri while Victor was readying the stereo for Eros.

Well, here went nothing. He thought of the sensual ways Yuuri had made Victor's body all his last night, a playful smirk tilted his heart-shaped mouth, and he only hoped his cock wouldn't stiffen in his pants as he skated this piece with his mate in mind.

"On Love: Eros. Eros...Sexual love. Pleasure followed by pleasure. One just drowns in it."

Victor ran his hands over his own body wantonly as he skated the sensual movements out on the ice. He was almost embarrassed that Yuri was watching this, but it was what it was, he was a performer, and he was performing.

The alpha cocked his hips and pushed his ass out as much as he could during the step sequences, adding an air of confident sexuality to his movements. He was caught up in the whirlwind of the story this song told him in his mind: _Victor was a handsome alpha, trying to seduce his shy and sweet mate with his sensual dance, inviting his mate to join him in learning the pleasures of the flesh together, promising decadent fun and hedonistic bliss between the sheets; secrets only they could learn together, within each other's bodies. Victor wanted to show his mate how good he could make him feel. Victor wanted to seduce his mate, but wanted his mate to also come very willingly, tripping over his own feet in eagerness on his way to the mating nest._

Victor smirked again when he heard his mate flustering, "It's enough to make me pregnant! Such Eros!"

 _'I'll_ _get you pregnant, detka (baby), just keep your eyes on me,'_ Victor thought to himself, almost purring in delight when he noticed just how hot and bothered his skating was getting his mate.

Yuri gagged and shoved the omega's arm slightly in disgust while Yuuri fluttered, his whole face scarlet, eyes locked onto his alpha dancing on the ice.

When Victor finished performing Eros, Yuri and Yuuri joined him on the ice and he skated over to them.

"Okay you can practice the basics. I'll teach Yurio first," Victor said, before turning all of his attention to Yuuri, who looked and smelled rather nervous, "I won't teach you anything you can't do right now," Victor tried to reassure the anxious omega.

"How many times have you messed up during a competition? You have the skill to win. Why can't you make it happen?" Victor asked, honestly wanting to know what was keeping his beautiful mate from getting the gold he deserved every time his blades kissed the ice and his body made music.

Yuuri looked down and fidgeted with his hands, before mumbling, "Well that's probably because...I lack confidence."

Victor skated forward, crowding into the omega's personal space, "Right. My job is to make you feel confident in yourself."

Victor forgot they weren't alone and was getting caught up in the gorgeous, chocolate gaze of his mate. The alpha brought his thumb to Yuuri's plump lower lip and traced it softly, leaning in close to whisper right over the omega's mouth, "No one in the whole wide world knows your true Eros, Yuuri. It may be an alluring side of you that you yourself are unaware of. Can you show me what it is soon?" 

Victor was about to meet their lips in a sensual kiss, feeling passion burn through him for his mate who was trembling on the ice before him. The alpha could smell his mate's faint arousal, even through the scent-cancelling balm he had rubbed onto his skin earlier.

Right before their lips met, Yurio yelled, "Hey, Victor! Aren't you teaching me first?!" 

Victor skated back a little, trying to clear his head, "Right. So, Yuuri. Think long and hard about what Eros is to you."

 


	23. Temps Développé 2: You Only Live Once

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor tries to fix Yuuri’s financial issues and unwittingly upsets the omega. Then Yuri explores his gender identity through his clothing choices. There is a sudden, unexpected marriage proposal! Our Podium Family ends their day on the beach together, dancing with sparkler fireworks.
> 
> “Temps Développé: /tahn dayv-law-PAY/ BALLET: Time developed, developing movement. In ballet terminology this is often shortened to développé.” 
> 
> Songs: 
> 
> Scott Pilgrim by Plumtree   
> Let Me Love You (feat. Justin Bieber) by DJ Snake   
> Prism by Lindsey Stirling   
> Young Blood by The Naked and Famous   
> Electric Love by Børns   
> Sun Skip by Lindsey Stirling   
> Shut Up and Dance by WALK THE MOON   
> Drove Me Wild by Tegan and Sara   
> You Only Live Once performed by Wataru Hatano YURI!!! On ICE  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNINGS: 
> 
> Discussion/mention of financial issues  
> Large monetary gifts  
> Discussion of gender identity  
> Discussion of clothing as it related to gender roles  
> Vague references to gender dysphoria
> 
> Before the first break (*~~~*) there is discussion of financial issues and Victor gives a large, monetary gift to Yuuri. They have a mild argument and make-up.  
> 
> After the first break (*~~~*) there is discussion of Yuri’s gender identity as it relates to clothing and appearance. There are extremely vague references to gender dysphoria and past gender identity issues.  

After a morning at the skating rink, with Victor just running through the mechanical movements of the Eros and Agape routines with both Yuri and Yuuri, Victor (and Yuri and Yuuri) were exhausted. The had skipped the dance studio to get a quick start on the actual routines they'd be performing at the end of the week. But now it was lunch time and all of them were drooping in low spirits.

Yuuri had taken a bad fall that morning on the ice. His right hand had been scraped open and was bleeding, and when Victor inspected the omega's skating gloves, he noticed they were extremely tattered and were barely hanging onto Yuuri's hands. Victor had tutted at the omega, before cleaning and bandaging up his hand, but took special notice of the state of Yuuri's skating gear before they got back onto the ice together. All the omega's gear was worn, tattered, and in great need of repair and replacement.

He hadn't said anything at the time, but when they were at the inn, while Hiroko was setting out lunch for them, Victor couldn't help but notice the worn state of other things he had never paid attention to before. Like how Yuuri's clothing was almost threadbare in appearance, and how the omega basically wore the same set of three or four exercise outfit ensembles every day before washing and rotating items out. He noticed how the omega's running shoes were old and the soles were practically peeling off.

He noticed that the Inn was furnished, but that everything appeared old and well-loved, if not obviously well-cared for. And he had been staying for over a month now, for free. He had been eating here for over a month, for free. The alpha felt an uncomfortable heat well up guiltily in his stomach, he had been taking advantage of his mate and his mate's family while they were clearly not doing well financially. He noticed how all the guests that frequented the Inn were the same 10-15 people every week, never anyone new. He couldn't swallow his guilt fast enough while he pushed Hiroko's wonderful cooking, free food, around his plate with his chopsticks, mulling over what he should do to fix this.

"Yuuri, do you have any sponsors for this season?" Victor suddenly broached, wondering how on Earth his mate had been planning on paying for the plane flights, the hotel accommodations, and the associated fees of the ISU and the JSF.

But Yuuri only looked down, his whole face turning red, and mumbled, "No, Vicchan. I ended all of my contracts after the Grand Prix last year when I ended things with Coach Celestino."

"Well, I would love to sponsor you, Yuuri," Victor offered, hoping this would be the solution, easy and simple as that.

"Vicchan! No! I-I couldn't, of course not! I-I was going to...I d-dunno, maybe I could take a loan out or something."

"But, Yuuri, I already support Yuratchka, I've been sponsoring his skating and living expenses since he moved into the dorms by me in St. Petersburg! Please, let me, dorogoy _(darling)_ -"

"What?!" Yuri interrupted with a screech, face reddening in surprise and anger, staring at the alpha with wide eyes.

"I thought I had told you, Yurio. I'm the owner/CEO/what-have-you of Zolotyye Kon'ki _(Golden Skates)_ Enterprises, the company that's been sponsoring you. Yakov helped me to set it all up with some of the funds my parents left to me," Victor waved his hand vaguely, as if this was old news, "Anyway, lyublyu _(love)_ , I want to sponsor you through Zolotyye Kon'ki _(Golden Skates)_ Enterprises like Yurio and I also think I should start paying for our stay and food here, don't you think?"

Yuuri just stared at the alpha, dumbfounded by the knowledge Victor had just dropped on him. Yuri didn't look much better.

The omega hummed noncommittally and didn't reply, instead looking back down to his food.

Yuri huffed and grumbled, _"I'm not your charity case, Victor,"_ in Russian before going back to his own food as well.

 _Well. That had gone well._ Victor sighed and started thinking of all the things he wanted to buy for Yuuri, things the omega needed, really, to stay safe on the ice. He felt kind of like a failure as a mate and a coach for not noticing the Japanese skater's needs before this morning's incident on the ice. He needed to be more responsible.

"I'm cancelling practice for this afternoon," Victor declared, "You're not going back on the ice until you're properly outfitted. It's decided, Yuuri."

"I actually kind of agree with the Old Man, here, it's not safe to skate in trash like that," Yuri sniffed, eyeing the omega's scraped hand where it sat on the table, blood dotting through the bandage already with Yuuri's movements during lunch.

"But it's Monday, a-and our competition is scheduled for Saturday! There's only five days for us to get Eros and Agape right!" Yuuri argued helplessly.

"It's alright, I'm going to airmail everything to us overnight from Greshka's."

"What?" Yuuri flustered, _what was even happening?_

Yuri simply added, "You better get me all new stuff too, Victor, don't forget about me again while you're so focused on your ' _dorogoy_ (darling)'," Yuri grumped, sneering the Russian term of endearment with mild disgust in his expression, "And that's more than enough time for us to figure Victor's lame routines out, it's not like they're even that hard," Yuri snorted dismissively while Yuuri only shook his head, feeling entirely overwhelmed.

Victor nodded and smiled, choosing to ignore the meaningless, grumpy dig at his choreography,  "Of course, Yurio! I'm going to get myself all-new gear too! It will be fun!" 

Yuuri sighed and laid his head in his arms on the table while Victor and Yuri cheerfully pulled up Greshka's number in the alpha's phone. 

"You'll see, Yuuri, you'll love everything Greshka makes! His shop uses only the finest materials, they made my golden skates custom for me, after all, and they are real gold, you know. We'll get you some real, deer leather skating gloves, and sterling skate blades, and ooh I wonder if they will do custom engraving before flying it all out for us tomorrow?" Victor babbled happily, while Yuri only egged him on.

"Yeah, Old Man, and I want sterling blades and I want them engraved with 'Ice Tiger'! And see if they have cat-print workout gear! I want some tiger and leopard print leggings! And I need new running shoes, mine are getting old!

"Okay, sure, Yurio!" Victor cheered, before wondering out loud as the call connected, "Do you think they can engrave little poodles onto some new blades for me?!" 

The omega didn't say anything, keeping his face buried in his arms while Victor and Yurio excitedly placed an order on the phone with the people at their prized skating shop in St. Petersburg. They spoke rapid-fire Russian, the words tumbling over each other, and Yuuri tried to not listen as Victor confirmed the final total including the overnight air shipping to Japan and rush on everything, before rattling off his credit card number. Yuuri wasn't sure what the exchange rates were for Rubles vs. Yen vs. American money amounts but he was pretty sure Victor had just spent close to twelve thousand dollars USD in under 30 minutes via phone order. He felt like he might pass out.

Then Victor and Yuri figured out how to call the nearest large town to Hasetsu, managing the order coming in from Customs and then getting delivered to Hasetsu by way of private courier which would also cost a large amount, several hundred more, if Yuuri heard right, and he was really trying to not listen.

Finally, to cement his general nausea and anxiety over this entire ordeal, he really hated discussing anything financially related, Victor made a last call to whom he figured was a bank or other monetary management institute in Russia, and the alpha had money transferred into the Inn's publicly-registered fund in Hasetsu.

Hiroko came in to check on them and Victor perked up, "Mama! I just had a hundred thousand transferred to your account for mine and Yurio's stay here, is that enough?"

Hiroko paled a bit and wavered on her feet, "Vicchan, w-what nonsense are you talking about? Did I misunderstand?"

Yuuri thought he might throw up on the floor but spoke up to explain to his mom in quick Japanese.

Hiroko flustered and hugged Victor so hard the alpha almost tipped over, patting and kissing the woman's adorably pudgy cheeks with a happy smile, saying, ' _of course, of course, it's no trouble, I'm happy to do it,'_ over and over in a cheerful refrain. 

When Hiroko left them all again Victor turned to Yuuri and chirped, "Shall we go to the beach, then?" 

The omega puffed up, smelling suddenly irritable in the small room and fixed a steely gaze onto the silver-haired alpha and Yuri muttered a quick, _'bye'_ before hurrying out of the room. 

"Yuuri?"

"Victor, how could you just do that to me? And in front of Yurio?"

Victor suddenly felt himself on unsure footing, _he had no idea what he had done wrong?_ He timidly answered, "What's wrong, Yura?"

"You completely disrespected me, and my family, by just d-dumping all that m-money onto us, like we can't take care of ourselves, and in front of our pup. You didn't even talk to me about it, about how I would feel about it," Yuuri snapped. 

"Yuuri, dorogoy _(darling)_ , no, I didn't want to disrespect you or your family. I just, I have a lot of money, alright? From my parents, and everything. And what's mine belongs to you, for richer or poorer and all that, now and always, lyublyu _(love)_ , and I want to provide for you and for Yurio, and not just provide but spoil you both, I love you both. Why can't you just let me love you?" Victor finished, huffing and feeling overwhelmed with emotion himself now. _Why couldn't Yuuri just see that he was trying to help? That he wanted to take good care of his family?_  

"What, w-were you just quoting American marriage vows to me, Vicchan? Honey, we're not married-"

"Yet, we're not married yet, Yura, and really, you wound me. I love you dorogoy _(darling)_ , and you know I'm only trying to help."

Yuuri shook his head and sighed, tucking his earnest alpha's hand into his own, "Vicchan, I love you. And I-I'm honestly, amazed, awed, u-um, shocked? That you love me so much in return and, let me finish, Vicchan," Yuuri broke off with a reassuring squeeze to the alpha's hand when he tried to interrupt, tears welling in his cerulean eyes, "Thank you. Thank you for everything, I do appreciate it, and I do understand you're trying to help me, and my family, and I love you so much for that. Just, just next time, talk to me about it first, alright? It's a lot to process, and it causes me a-anxiety, you know? So just give me time to process, with you, that's all I'm asking." 

Victor nodded, not trusting himself to speak while he was so wound up, and squeezed his omega's hand in return. 

"Alright, honey, the beach?" 

"Yeah...and...a-and..." 

"Vicchan?"

"I-I wasn't too much?" Victor squeaked out, voice cracking, feeling his insecurities rushing to the surface.

"No, no Vicchan, it's alright. Just talk to me first next time, okay? But everything is okay, we're okay, I love you. I'm sorry I got so upset, I just don't like talking about or dealing with anything about money, it makes me so anxious."

Victor stood and tugged the omega's hand, "Yeah, let's go to the beach. Go get Yurio!"

*~~~*

When Yuuri went to get Yuri from the room he was staying in, he made the mistake of not knocking before opening the door and the young alpha yelled and shouted, trying to cover himself with a blanket while the omega flustered and apologized.

Yuri had been modelling what looked to be a tiger print bikini in an old stand-up mirror that was scuffed and resting in the corner.

"You can look now, you've already seen me, anyway," Yuri huffed angrily, but sounding almost like he was trying to hold back tears, voice cracking and pitching in upset.

Yuuri uncovered his eyes from where he had his hands clamped over his glasses, and looked at the young teen as he dropped the blanket from around his shoulders, revealing his body in the black and orange striped bikini, hunching in insecurely in uncharacteristically bad posture.

"Well, a-aren't you gonna tell me how dumb I look, or something? Get it over with, then." 

"Why would I do that, Yuri, you look great," Yuuri responded, feeling hurt lance through him at the thought that this beautiful, insecure teen had clearly been hurt before over how he chose to dress, surely, to cause this strong reaction.

"I look like a girl," Yuri huffed, glancing up at the omega before locking his gaze back to his feet, shuffling in place like he didn't quite know if that declaration made him feel wrong or right at the moment.

"You look like you, Yuri. You are who you think you are. And you can dress how you're comfortable dressing. Nobody should tell you how you have to dress or what it means to dress a certain way or not. Gender shouldn't be tied to clothing," Yuuri reassured. 

This had been a hard-won lesson the omega had learned from Phichit when they were roommates in America. And while Yuuri hadn't exactly pinned down his own gender-identity, wavering between how he felt most days, his wardrobe, scant as it was, did include a cheerful, yellow, cotton sundress and a plain, black skirt, both courtesy of Phichit, who wore dresses more often than not when he wasn't on the ice simply because he _'l_ _ooked killer'_ in them. 

"Let's go to the beach, Yuri, it'll be fun," Yuuri continued, when his little speech warranted no verbal response from the teen.

"What are you going to wear?"

"Well, since it's sunny out right now, and warm, I'll probably wear my swim trunks, but I think I'll be wearing my favorite, and only, sundress as a cover-up on the way there since it's so hot out," Yuuri replied in his oh-so-simple way, and really, Yuri and he was sure Victor too, were convinced that a simple declaration from the omega could really make a world of better. 

Yuri nodded and whispered, "Can I get ready with you?"

"Of course, Yuri, come on," Yuuri grabbed the teen's hand and lead him to his bedroom where he put on his blue swim trunks and pulled his yellow sundress from the closet before slipping it on over his head and twirling for Yuri, "What do you think?" 

"You look good," Yuri replied, feeling weird emotions roll through him at the acceptance and openness the omega was showing to him. It felt good. It felt right. He felt right, for once, in his own body. And he didn't quite know what to do with that. So, he just plopped down onto the omega's desk chair and demanded some clothes to wear as a cover-up on the way to the beach and for Yuuri to do his hair too.

Yuri tried to hide from the omega how he stuffed the loose t-shirt's hem to his nose and inhaled the comforting smell of fresh-baked apples deeply, wanting it to cover him. He was wearing some old nylon shorts and a t-shirt from Yuuri and the omega was braiding his hair into a French braid when Victor came into the room, wearing swim trunks and nothing else.

He stopped in the doorway and his jaw almost hit the floor, _what had he done to ever deserve the most beautiful, the most gorgeous, the most blessed vision in front of him, his Yuuri, his mate, wearing a bright, flowing dress, looking like an angelic, yellow rose, blossoming to the sunlight~_

"Moya lyubov', ty takaya chertovski krasivaya, kak ya blagoslovil tebya v moyey zhalkoy zhizni? _(My love, you're so fucking beautiful, how was I blessed with you in my pathetic life?)"_ Victor breathed out, looking dazed in the doorway. 

"Hmm? Vicchan, are you alright?" 

Yuri snorted at the alpha, sticking his tongue out and rolling his eyes, "Really, Victor? You didn't even say that in English, you idiot."

Victor shook his head, "What? Oh, um, Yuuri, y-you're, you look beautiful, so beautiful." 

Yuuri blushed and looked back down to the plait he was weaving with his fingers into the young alpha's hair, "Thank you, Vicchan."

When the omega was finished braiding Yuri's hair they left and headed to the beach for the afternoon.

Victor bumped his shoulder gently into Yuuri's on the way, Yuri insisting on getting to ride the bicycle there while Makkachin ran after the bike, her leash being tethered to one of the handles, "So then, you're not exactly hung up on things like this then? Like, will I be alpha enough for you if i-if I wanted to wear a dress? Or have my hair long again?"

Yuuri paused on the sidewalk, ignoring Yurio's shouted, _'_ _Come on, keep up, losers!'_ and grabbed both of Victor's hands into his own, lacing their fingers tight and staring up at the alpha earnestly, "Victor Nikiforov, I love you, for who you are, in whatever clothes you want to wear, with whatever hairstyle you choose, with however extra or not extra you want to be, you will never be too much for me. You will always be alpha enough for me, my alpha, I love you, exactly how you are, because I love Victor Nikiforov, Vicchan, and that's you."

Victor swallowed and husked through the tears welling in his eyes, "Marry me, Yura. Please." _He meant it. Every word. He was serious. He wanted to marry Yuuri Katsuki._  

Yuuri laughed gently, "Honey, we haven't even been courting for a week, I think-" 

"It's been seven days, today," Victor chirped. 

"Okay, let's give it a while, alright? Let's go on d-dates a-and, really court before, i-if, we get engaged." 

"When, dorogoy _(darling)_ , when we get engaged," Victor replied, pecking the omega's lips before dragging him on after Yuri and Makkachin, way ahead of them, not feeling dulled by the omega's refusal to his sudden marriage proposal, because it wasn't a _'no'_ , it was a _'wait'_ , and he could wait, he would wait, _anything for his Yuuri_.

*~~~*

Yuuri and Victor stripped down to their swim trunks at the public showers above the beach, on the cemented area by the pier, to rinse off before going into the Ocean to get their bodies accustomed to the chillier temperatures sooner rather than later. Makkachin joined them, jumping around and yipping happily in the water sprays as Yuuri and Victor ruffled each other's hair and splashed around as playfully as Makkachin.

Yuri rolled his eyes and didn't join them in the shower, but took pictures, posting them on Instagram with the caption, _'_ _look at these dorks-so much judgement'_ and several eye-rolling emojis. 

When they made it onto the sand, Yuri stripped down to his bikini and laid out on a towel, "I'm tanning my white ass while you losers splash around like your dumb poodle."

"Watch your language, Yuri," Yuuri chided gently while Victor cooed, "Oh, you look lovely, Yurio."

Victor eyed the fishermen on the pier and muttered to Yuuri as they made their way to the waves, "You don't think anyone will bother him, do you? That bikini doesn't cover much, and he's so young and-"

"He'll be fine, Vicchan. He does need sunscreen though, Yuuri hummed thoughtfully before taking out a can of spray sunscreen from his tote bag and spraying it on the young alpha while he shrieked and cursed in Russian at the cold.

"It won't do to get sunburnt, Yuri, now turn over so I can spray your back.

Victor cackled at the angry teen until the omega turned the chilly bottle of spray sunscreen at his own flesh and he ran from the spray, yelling, all the way into the waves.

The water was cold, but Makkachin enjoyed jumping around in the shallow waves, nosing and sniffing around at small clumps of displaced kelp and the little air bubbles sand crabs and other creatures left in the wet sand when the waves receded off the shore. Victor hadn't spent a lot of time playing at a beach before and felt happiness burst through him as Yuuri showed him all the things he had been missing out on in the water.

The omega showed the alpha how to dig in the wet sand where he saw the air bubbles popping up, _'_ _quickly, quickly, Vicchan, before the water comes back,'_ to find the small sand crabs burrowing. The little crabs tickled as they ran across his hands, before dropping back to the wet sand and burrowing underneath once more.

They explored the shallow tide pools in the rocky crags away from the pier. Victor picked up a hermit crab and had his finger pad pinched indignantly before setting the small creature back down.

They collected pretty seashells for Yuri, and carried Makkachin over the rocks and shattered seashells when they got too sharp for her paws.

When they made it back to the sand, dropping their seashell finds over by Yuri who was reading on his phone, spread out on the towel, tanning, Yuuri and Victor made skirts and crowns of salty, sticky seaweed and modelled them for each other in turns, laughing so hard their sides ached with it.

Victor felt so happy, so caught up with joy, he could hear cheerful music blearing through his mind, and he grabbed the omega into his arms and started a fun, jaunty waltz with him on the sand. 

As Yuuri laughed and spun in Victor's arms, being dipped and dipping the alpha in turns, their waltz eventually morphing into something resembling swing dancing, Victor felt his heart beating true to one thought over and over, _'_ _I am going to marry this omega. I am going to marry Yuuri. I love him so much. I love him. I love him. I love him.'_

They returned to the inn and showered off before dinner and dressed in warmer clothes as it became chillier out when the sun began to set in the coastal town.

Yuuri had gotten small fireworks, he called 'sparklers' from the Inn's holiday and party stash, and they went back down to the beach with them after dinner to light a bonfire and play with the sparklers.

The sun had set and the stars had risen. Yuuri showed them how the sparklers could be used to draw figures and make ribbons of light and color in the night sky while they fizzed and glowed merrily.

Yuri had started dancing with one, doing classical ballet while holding his sparkler up in the air as Victor filmed, watching the dancer create beautiful trails of light as he moved. The alpha grabbed his emergency selfie-stick from his backpack and propped it against his bag in the sand, setting his phone to record.

The three danced into the night with their sparklers, making beautiful shapes and paths of light with their movements around the bonfire.

Yuuri danced towards Victor after a lovely pirouette and pulled the alpha into a joyful kiss, puffing breaths against his rosy lips. Victor swore he saw sparks and stars behind his closed eyelids as the omega pulled him deeper into his embrace, holding the sparklers away from them in one hand, but grabbing the alpha closer with the other, kissing his lips and all over his face.

Victor posted clips of their dancing and stills from the video on all of his social media accounts. He also ordered several prints of the three of them, of his family, to hang in his room as soon as they were ready. His heart was full.

Victor was going to marry Yuuri. You only live once, after all, and Victor didn't want to waste any of his time alive without Yuuri by his side. 


	24. Attitude 1: Finding Eros

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor confronts some of his issues with his appearance and gender identity as he works to find his own, inner Eros. He has a minor run-in with the Press as a result. Then he makes a special video for his League of Evil Exes. Yuuri works on finding Eros and Yuri starts to work on finding Agape. 
> 
> “Attitude: /ˈadəˌt(y)o͞od/ BALLET: An attitude in classical ballet is a position where the dancer is standing on one leg with the other lifted, usually to the front (devant) or back (derrière). The leg in the air is bent at the knee so that it forms roughly a 145 degree angle." 
> 
> Songs: 
> 
> Numb by Linkin Park  
> Bring Me To Life (Synthesis) by Evanescence  
> Diaries by The Birthday Massacre  
> Zombie by The Pretty Reckless  
> Paparazzi by Lady Gaga  
> Born This Way by Lady Gaga  
> Dance In The Dark by Lady Gaga  
> LoveGame Lady Gaga  
> Bad Romance by Lady Gaga  
> Alejandro by Lady Gaga  
> Swim Against The Tide by The Japanese House  
> So Happy I Could Die by Lady Gaga

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNINGS:
> 
> Paparazzi/press issues  
> Referenced gender dysphoria  
> Mentions of past emotional abuse within romantic relationships  
> Implied anxiety attack/disassociation  
> Cussing

Victor stood in front of the mirror in the corner of his makeshift bedroom set up in an old banquet room and stared at his reflection. The items he had ordered for Yuuri (and for himself and Yuri) had arrived earlier in the afternoon. They had spent the morning in the dance studio, since Victor was set on Yuuri not getting back onto the ice without proper gear. When they had gone back to the Inn for lunch, the dozens of boxes and packages from Greshka's had arrived.  

When Victor had been placing the order, he had been happily surprised to have Yuri demand several ballet wrap-skirts, pink ballet slippers rather than the typical black males used, and several different dance and exercise clothing articles traditionally worn by females. He had ordered himself some of all of that as well and had also ordered Yuuri several of the pieces just in case. This was before he had seen Yuri wearing his bikini and his lovely mate wearing that sundress, before he knew he could try feeling confident in himself to wear these things in public and around Yuuri and Yuri freely.  

Now, now here he was. He had put on a black, camisole leotard that was backless but for some thin straps holding the edges of the stretchy fabric taught along his ribs. He had a knee-length, sheer, black wrap-skirt tied around his waist, the ribbons closing it fastened in a loopy bow to the side. He was wearing traditional, pink, mesh tights with seams running up the entirety of the backs of his long legs. He had on pink, split-sole ballet slippers over the tights. Underneath all of it was his black dance belt, tucking him securely in, but it didn't keep his bulge from showing obviously in the crotch of the leotard, though the skirt made it slightly less risqué of a view.  

He felt...really pretty. He didn't remember the last time he had felt so pretty, and so happy in his own body. His hair was still sheared short, but he had decided to let it grow out after his brief conversation with Yuuri yesterday and watching the tentative confidence with which Yuri had sported his bikini on the beach and the quiet, simple, surety with which Yuuri had worn his dress.  

His hands shook, but he pulled out the black and red silk flowers the Greshka staff had so kindly included with his order, probably thinking this was all for a ballerina who would be wearing the ornaments in her hair. Victor fastened them with the included hair pins to his long bangs, which he tucked back behind his right ear, making sure to fan the flower petals out prettily so they sat in view of anyone looking at him face-to-face.  

He had asked Yuuri before now, what was Eros to him. He knew Yuuri needed to find his inner Eros, and his inner confidence, and skate it out for the world to see. Victor needed to find his own inner Eros now, his inner confidence, he could do this. He wanted to be himself again, not the version of himself his exes had tried to make him into.  

He wanted to be the Victor that could wear skirts or dresses, wear makeup, have long hair, and have none of that define who he was as an autonomous person, or how he felt about his gender identity or sexuality. He wanted to be himself and to feel comfortable in his own body and with how he dressed that body. He wanted to find his inner Eros and bring it to the surface, and not just play a part in a story like during the Eros routine. He wanted to find his inner Eros and embody it, become Eros, and let that confidence root into everything he was and everything he did.  

For so long, everything his exes had tried to force onto him, into him, had only made him numb. When he was just skating routine after routine, his daily existence flickering between the Yubileyny Sports Palace where he practiced, his empty, tainted apartment, and wherever he happened to be for a competition-empty. He had been empty, and numb. It was like he had been sleepwalking through life, and he needed to be woken up. Yuuri had certainly helped to wake him, and now he needed to bring out his own inner Eros and start living and loving with confidence, as he wanted to.  

Victor looked at his pale eyelashes in the mirror, sighing quietly to himself. He wanted...he wished he had taken the time to get himself some of the makeup he used to allow himself to wear back when he was first performing and didn't want to be washed out under the lights, before he had been accused of not being alpha-enough with his long hair, his androgynous skating costumes, and his mascaraed, lush eyelashes. For today, this would be good enough. He felt right in himself. He felt beautiful. He turned away from the mirror to meet the gaze of Yuuri who was in the doorway, with a gentle smile on his face.  

"You look so pretty, Vicchan." 

Yuuri was wearing some new, plain black leggings, over what appeared to be the same black, backless leotard Victor was currently wearing. Yuri barged in, twirling around in one of his new ensembles as well, shouting, "Look how awesome I look, losers!" 

The teen was wearing tiger print leggings, a black, mesh crop top, and some modern dance sole-protectors on his feet, called "dance paws". Over the leggings he had also tied one of the black, sheer wrap-around ballet skirts, but this one was significantly shorter than the one Victor was wearing and only reached to Yuri's mid-thigh.  

"You look pretty, too Yurio," Yuuri said kindly before his brow wrinkled in confusion, "But aren't we going back on the ice this afternoon, or were we going to continue going over the routines in the dance studio?" 

"Bring your skate bags, and your new gear, we'll head over to the studio first and then end up at the rink, I think," Victor answered.  

He didn't cover himself before leaving the Inn, carrying a change of clothes along with his skating gear in his skate bag. But today, the paparazzi and reporters, who had previously been swarming mainly around the rink, were waiting outside the dance studio when they arrived again, probably having found them after the three weren't at the rink yesterday afternoon or this morning.  

The press crowded around Victor and started shouting all sorts of questions about what he was wearing and making assumptions about what his sudden appearance in a skirt with flowers pinned into his hair must mean for his personal gender identity and sexuality.  

 _'Victor, why are you dressed like a woman?'_  

 _'Victor, are you dressed like a woman for a routine you’re_ _choreographing?'_  

 _'Victor, does this confirm that you only like to be sexually and romantically involved with_ _men?'_  

 _'Victor, are you identifying yourself as a transgendered individual now?'_  

 _'Victor, are you going to grow your hair out again?'_  

Yuri, who was also wearing a skirt, had put loose track pants on over the skirt and was shuffled past the crowd by Yuuri, who pushed the young alpha up the stairs to the dance studio and shut the door firmly behind the teen, to keep the press away from him as much as possible.  

Yuuri turned back around and made his way to Victor who was frozen in the middle of the small crowd, not moving or speaking.  

 _'...do you feel like you identify as an alpha_ _still?'_  

 _'...is this why your past relationships have all ended? Because you feel like you're a woman?'_  

 _'...does the Russian Skating Federation support your homosexuality?'_  

 _'...Victor, Victor, Victor...'_  

"Victor. Victor. Victor! Vicchan, come on, honey, let's get you inside." 

"No comments at this time. Please leave, or I will call the police. No comments. No comments." 

Yuuri hustled the alpha inside and shut the door behind them, locking it for good measure, and tugged Victor up the stairs behind him, all the way to the studio where Yuri was waiting, scowling and typing furiously on his phone.  

Victor felt like all of the confidence he had put into himself in front of the mirror in the Inn had been torn back down. He felt...lost.  

"Vicchan, honey, look at me, Vicchan," Yuuri gentled the alpha, brushing his knuckles over Victor's cheekbones and frowning when he felt the smallest of tremors coming from the man.  

Victor shook his head, cleared his throat, and went to sit on the floor with his back to the wall of mirrors-he didn't want to look at himself right now.  

"Alright, Yurio, give me a run-through of the dance elements in Agape and then Yuuri can do Eros. We can head to the rink after a few rounds here." 

Did his voice sound hollow? He felt hollow.  

"Vitya-" Yuri whispered, moving closer to the alpha.  

"Don't," Victor gasped, before he finally felt tears falling down his face, curling into himself, ashamed.  

"Come on, Vitenka, you're alright. Don't let those assholes get to you." 

Yuuri slid down onto the floor by the crying alpha, near to where Yuri was now crouching down as well, and rubbed his hands over his mate's shaking shoulders comfortingly.  

"It's fine, I'm fine, it's just...m-my exes, they...they said..." 

"Shh, Vicchan, you don't have to explain yourself to us, it's alright, honey." 

Yuri stood up suddenly and went over to the speaker system, plugging his phone in and calling out, "Oi! Victor! Come dance with me!" 

"Born This Way" by Lady Gaga blared into the studio, and Yuri stripped his track pants off, revealing his own skirt, and started rocking out to the strong beat.  

Yuuri smiled and moved to get up, tugging at the alpha's hand, "Come on, Vicchan, everyone loves Mama Monster." 

Victor laughed at that, surprised Yuuri was familiar enough with Lady Gaga to refer to her like that, and sniffled, wiping his tears with his hands, before standing with the omega. Yuuri started doing hip hop style movements before morphing seamlessly into breakdancing while Yuri tried copying the omega's movements and failing-the teen was too tight, too coiled up, to really reproduce the loose, easy feel of Yuuri's fluid dancing. Victor laughed again as he remembered how Yuri had been so angry when he had lost to Yuuri at the impromptu dance competition the omega had initiated at the Grand Prix Final banquet in Sochi, where Victor had suddenly realized this very omega was his true mate.  

 _"...I'm beautiful in my way_ _'Cause_ _God makes no mistakes_ _I'm on the right track, baby_ _I was born this way_ _Don't hide yourself in regret_ _Just love yourself and_ _you're_ _set_ _I'm on the right track, baby_    
_I was born this way..."_  

Victor wasn't crying anymore, but he also wasn't dancing. He was watching Yuuri hungrily, mouth going dry as the omega lifted himself from the floor with one arm, muscles tensing-he was so strong, it was dizzyingly attractive. Victor was sure Yuuri could lift him up in those muscled, toned arms. He might swoon.  

When the song ended, Victor looked into the mirror and felt some confidence return to him, but it felt a bit jagged at the edges, still a bit broken. He went over to Yuri's phone and unplugged it, plugging his own in and putting on his favorite Mama Monster song, "Dance In The Dark". This song. The lyrics. God but this song gave him  _all the feels_. It was like it had been written about him, for him. It hit so close to home. It hurt. But it was also cathartic, when the song started carrying through the studio and he shut his eyes, letting his body move to the song in his own dark world, safe behind his own closed eyelids.  

 _"...Baby loves to dance in the dark_ _'Cause_ _when he's_ _lookin_ _', she falls apart_ _Baby loves to dance in the dark..."_  

He felt arms wrap around his body and opened his eyes, meeting the loving gaze of Yuuri. The omega squeezed Victor and leaned up to murmur in his ear, "You don't have to fall apart, Vicchan, I've got you. I love you." 

Victor swallowed more tears, blinking rapidly as his eyes stung with them,  _how did Yuuri seem to always know just what he needed to hear?_  

"Marry me," Victor managed to croak in response, blushing when the omega only chuckled quietly and whispered, "Not yet, honey, not yet." 

"Stop being disgusting!" Yuri shouted, before plugging his own phone back in and blaring "LoveGame" by Lady Gaga into the small studio, yelling out the lyrics, before grabbing onto the ballet barre ringing the room and using it to start twerking with his ass out.  

Victor and Yuuri both yelled and the omega covered his glasses with his hands while Victor went to turn the song off, shouting, "You're too young to know how to dance like that, Yurio! No more!" 

Yuri huffed and shoved the older alpha's shoulder but grinned, Victor was smiling again.  

They gathered back in the center of the studio. All of them were now sweaty and slightly out of breath, but everyone was smiling.  

"Alright, so I don't think Yurio has any Agape in his body right now, after that filthy dancing-" 

"Hey! I can Agape the fuck out of Agape, Old Man!" 

"Language, Yurio!" Yuuri and Victor both chided the young alpha, while he only huffed and rolled his eyes in response.  

"So, Yuuri, we haven't talked about your inspiration for Eros. What story does the song paint in your head, hmm?" 

"Well...w-what does it paint in your head, Vicchan?" 

Victor blushed bright red and Yuri burst out laughing, "Oh my God! What do you think about, Old Man?! Wait! Wait! I don't want to know, haha, oh my God! It's probably something disgusting about Yuuri, am I right?!" 

Victor patted his cheeks with his hands in a futile attempt to get his blush to cool down, "Both Agape and Eros have become my love songs for Yuuri." 

"Yuck." 

"Vicchan..." Yuuri breathed, now his own blush heated up his face.  

"But, what do you think of, when you hear Eros, Yuuri? You're performing it, so you need to have your own inspiration. What is Eros to you?" 

"What Eros is to me? What would that be? I mean...I can see the story the song paints in my head, to me: A playboy comes to a certain town and bewitches the women left and right. He decided to pursue the most beautiful woman in town, but she isn't swayed. Then, as they play the game of love, she finds it difficult to make the right choices and ends up falling for him. Then he casts her aside, as though he's tired of her, and goes off to the next town." 

"Okay, that's a good story to work with," Victor nods and hums encouragingly.  

"But that's not me. I-I'm not, I can't be the playboy." 

"Alright, so who are you in that story?" 

"I...I-I'm..." 

Yuri nudged the omega, while Victor waited patiently, "Come on, Katsuki, tell us." 

"I'm the most beautiful woman in town!"  

Victor felt shocked only for a moment, before he laughed and clapped his hands lightly, "Yes, Yuuri, yes, you are the most beautiful woman in any town! Alright, so, let's go with this: you're the most beautiful woman in town and what, you let the playboy seduce you and leave you?"  

Victor frowned at that, if Yuuri was the most beautiful woman in town in this scenario then that would cast himself as the playboy, and he certainly wouldn’t be leaving Yuuri anytime soon, ever.  

"No, no, s-she...I, I seduce the playboy! And I k-keep him, for myself, at my whim." 

Victor whistled lowly, "Alright, Yuuri, good. And how will you seduce your playboy, hmm?" 

"Ugh, you guys are getting disgusting again. I'm going to go do stretches," Yuri grumbled before going to the other side of the studio and starting some warm-up stretches.  

"I'll seduce him with my Eros," Yuuri mumbled, ears heating hotly, embarrassed with the very suggestive direction this was all going in front of Yuri-but at least he was on the other side of the studio now.  

"And that brings us back to, what is Eros to you, Yuuri?" 

"I'm not sure..." 

"Okay, maybe Mama Monster has some Eros for you in some of her songs," Victor teased liltingly, going over to put more Lady Gaga music on from his phone, "I know I feel like the most beautiful woman in town, seducing all the playboys, when I'm listening to these songs. Try to do some of the movements to this song." 

"Bad Romance" came on through the speaker system and Yuuri followed Victor's lead, swaying his hips dangerously, making 'monster hands' in his movements to the song. Yuuri danced closer to Victor at one point and started lip-syncing the lyrics against the alpha's naked, sweaty shoulder, causing him to shiver while goosebumps ghosted over his skin where the omega's breath puffed.  

Yuri was watching them, grimacing a bit at their closeness, but Victor pulled away when the song ended and grabbed his phone from the audio cable. He asked Yuri for his phone and got the song "Alejandro" queued up to play, before handing his own phone to Yuuri.  

He could do this. He needed to do this. He was in the right headspace now, and  _how long had he been choreographing this routine for his exes in his head anyway, years, it seemed_. This would show his exes, and the world, his inner Eros. He had found it inside of himself, he had woken up, and now he would show it to everyone, and be proud. This is who he was.  

"This might help your inspiration, Yuuri. And this is something...I need to do this, you'll see. Please record me?" 

"Of course, Vicchan." 

Yuri and Yuuri watched as Victor walked to the center of the studio floor, and ordered Siri to start playing "Alejandro". He looked at the camera and said, in English, "This is for my exes. Eat your hearts out." 

Yuri stifled his laughter while Yuuri tried to pick his jaw up from the floor,  _what was happening?_   

Victor started dancing, his movements showing influence of hip hop and salsa, but remaining decidedly rooted in ballet as he pirouetted with his legs and feet turned out beautifully, toes pointed to perfection. But when he swayed his hips and hugged himself on the chorus beat, or ran his fingers through his hair, fluttering the silk flowers pinned in his bangs flirtatiously, only to catch his thumb on his pouted lower lip with a smirk, his classical ballet training took backseat. He ended the dance with a blown kiss and his trademark wink. His heart was pounding,  _h_ _e_ _felt good, that felt good, felt right-he felt right_.  

Yuuri kissed Victor on the lips chastely, handing his phone back to him, "Wow," was all he had to say and Victor smirked, leaning in to whisper into the omega's ear, "You can call my name anytime, kotyonok  _(kitty)_." 

Yuuri flustered and slapped the alpha's shoulder, chiding at him, "You're ridiculous, hush, Vicchan." 

"Let's head to the rink now!" 

*~~~* 

The press wasn't around outside the studio or at the rink. Victor breathed an internal sigh of relief, as they made it inside without issue. He uploaded his video to Instagram with the caption "#slay" and a bunch of red rose, heart-eye, and kissy-face emojis. This was the first time he had ever felt confident enough to do anything like that, and he felt quiet pride swell in his chest.  

Unfortunately, Greshka's couldn't engrave poodles onto his new, golden blades. So instead he had the words: "Stay Close to Me" in the Roman alphabet engraved onto them. That was the song, the routine, that had brought him to Yuuri, that had brought Yuuri to him, when he performed it in Hasetsu and sparked Victor to make the tumultuous decision to move his life to Japan for his mate. Yuuri was why he would continue to skate. He wanted Yuuri to stay close to him, always, like he would stay close to Yuuri himself, always. 

On Yuuri's sterling skates, he had the words: "I love you" engraved, also in the Roman alphabet.   

When he had shown both sets of blades to Yuuri, the omega had blushed and mumbled incoherently in Japanese before grabbing his own blades and hurrying off to attach them to his new skating boots.  

Yuri's blades were indeed engraved with "Ice Tiger", and he wore them proudly now on the ice, even though all of them were wincing as their new skate boots rubbed at their bruised and battered feet, breaking them in was not going to be fun.  

Victor turned to Yuri, "Alright, give Agape a run through, and mark the jumps." 

The angelic voices started singing on the speakers Victor had hooked up at the side of the rink, and Yuuri practiced Eros off the side of the rink, marking his movements and jumps to himself, while Yuri started skating Agape center-ice.  

When Yuri was finished, Victor simply said, "Again. With real jumps this time." 

The young alpha huffed, drank some water, but complied, getting into his starting position back in the center of the ice again. Something was wrong with the piece. Not the piece, something was wrong with the way Yuri was skating it. He was performing most of the routine from memory already, the technical moves were pretty good, if still needing some polishing here and there, but as he was skating, he was...not Agape.  

Yuri was skating the routine with passion, yes, drive, to be sure, but there wasn't a trace of any kind of love, let alone unconditional love, in the younger alpha's movements or facial expressions. He was also missing the essence of the routine, like Yuuri still was with Eros. What was Agape to Yuri? 

"The way you currently are, your greed is too obvious. There's no sense of agape, unconditional love, in your performance. It's good to have confidence, but this program isn't where you should show it off."  

Yuri seemed frustrated. Victor was frustrated. Coaching was difficult. How could he suddenly make Yuri understand Agape? How could he help the teen find his inner understanding of Agape? Certainly not like how he had been trying to help Yuuri find Eros; Eros and Agape were, after all, entirely opposite, if not complimentary, concepts, feelings, experiences.  

"I think you need to visit a temple!" Victor chirped in a sudden fit of inspiration for helping Yuri.  

Yuuri and Victor walked with Yuri to the nearest Shinto shrine, and while the teen grumbled and complained the whole way there, he was surprisingly respectful and almost reverent when he got onto his knees to listen to the Kannushi speak to him. Victor and Yuuri sat off to the side, observing, and Yuuri had to stop Victor from intervening when the Kannushi struck Yuri with a wooden paddle symbolically.  

Afterwards, Yuuri and Yuri ended up soaking their sore bodies in the onsen while Victor checked his Instagram account to see all the notifications his video dancing to "Alejandro" had racked up. It already had over 15 thousand likes and several positive comments (and several negative comments as well but he tried to ignore those). Christophe had commented first, saying: "Tu es un briseur de coeur, mon amour. (You're a heartbreaker, my love)" and the comment warmed Victor, he felt good about posting the video still, he was happy he had done it. 

He joined Yuri and Yuuri in the onsen and held out his phone, asking for one of them to take a picture of him. Maybe he could post a sexy picture with his naked chest or something while he was still feeling so confident, then his exes would really eat their hearts out over him. But Yuuri informed him in a rather flustered way that pictures were not allowed in the hot springs areas. Though when he did get into the water and the omega came over closer, Victor thought he could smell jealousy or possessiveness wafting ever so slightly off of Yuuri-he internally squealed at the thought of Yuuri being jealous or possessive over him and nuzzled into his mate's neck happily while Yuri grumped at them to stop being nasty while  _'there were minors present'_.   

*~~~* 

During dinner, Yuuri seemed out of it. He was laying on the table, staring at their food with glassy eyes. Suddenly, he sat up and started babbling, "Eros, Eros, it's what causes you to lose the ability to make normal decisions. For me, what causes me to lose that ability is... I get it now! Pork cutlet bowls! That's what Eros is to me!"  

Victor and Yuri both sat there, silent.  _What?_    
 

Victor laughed, teasing as Yuuri's face heated up with a thick blush, "Okay let's go with that it's unique." 

Yuri looked up from where had also been laying on the table, exhausted from their long day of dancing and skating practice, and smirked at the flustered omega, "Seriously?"  

"Remember, Vicchan, I told you what I think about now with Katsudon and, and..." Yuuri blustered, before leaving the table, saying he was going for a quick run.  

Victor giggled with Yuri but did remember, Yuuri had told him right before he had taken Victor as his own, completely, for the first time, that Katsudon, the way it tasted and probably smelled, reminded the omega of the first time they had mated together because Victor had just eaten Katsudon and his kisses tasted of it.  

Victor couldn't stop giggling though, his mate was so precious and cute~ 

When he and Yuri had calmed their laughter, and Yuuri was finally back at the table, after cooling off on his quick jog, Victor turned to Yuri, "Alright, Yurio. Yuuri's Eros is Katsudon," they all giggled again at that, even Yuuri joined in, blushing but laughing all the same, "And he's skating as the prettiest woman in town, seducing the playboy. So, what is your Agape and what's your story for Agape?"  


	25. Attitude 2: Finding Agape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yurio works on finding his Agape. 
> 
> “Attitude: /ˈadəˌt(y)o͞od/ BALLET: An attitude in classical ballet is a position where the dancer is standing on one leg with the other lifted, usually to the front (devant) or back (derrière). The leg in the air is bent at the knee so that it forms roughly a 145 degree angle." 
> 
> Songs: 
> 
> Zombie by The Cranberries  
> Lonely Boy by The Black Keys  
> Look What You Made Me Do by Taylor Swift

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNINGS:
> 
> Cussing  
> Mentions of parental abandonment  
> Discussion of past parental death  
> Heavy internalization regarding existential concepts  
> Mentions of past child abuse  
> Mentions of homophobia/transphobia

What was Agape to Yuri? He had no fucking idea. He had ideas of what it  _should_  be, but he didn't have any like, real life experience. It embarrassed and shamed him to think, even privately, that the closest he had ever come to the concept of Agape, pure, unconditional love, of that...that safety, the constant assurance you'd be loved and supported...was fucking Old Man Victor Nikiforov and his shy-as-shit omega mate, Yuuri Katsuki. 

When his mom had passed away and his dad had abandoned him, he had lived with his grandpa in Moscow until moving into the dorms to practice skating easier close to the rink Yakov trained out of in St. Petersburg, Yubileyny. He loved his grandpa, but as he got older, he got more and more anxious over his grandpa's waning health and his near constant fear of being abandoned all over again clanged in his heart and mind unerringly. 

He had so much anger inside of him, it was painful, most days. He didn't feel right in his own body, most days. He knew other people judged him, for how he looked, for his skating career, for how he wanted to dress and act. He was constantly battered on all sides, but his own fears and anxieties and the overwhelming burden of societal judgement and expectations. 

So, what did he think of when he thought on Agape? Anxiety. Fear. Abandonment. Dead moms. Sick grandpas. The resounding thought that he would never find a mate who could accept him as he is-weird clothes, gender dysphoria, and all. That's what Agape was to him. 

He didn't give a shit if when he heard the music he sometimes thought his mind would focus on the scent of apples, or even of roses...that emotional bullshit didn't matter, he couldn't let it matter, or it might just hurt him too deep. 

*~~~*

"Yuri? Yurio...?"

"What do you want, Old Man?!" Yuri snapped, flinching from his emotional reverie, and focusing on Victor's concerned face. 

"I said, do you want to run through Agape with me again?"

"Fine."

"Sweetheart...you seem...what's wrong, Yuranya?"

"Fucking nothing, Old Man, let's run through fucking Agape again, alright? I still have exercises to do this afternoon, I don't have all day to run through this again and again with you."

Yuuri skated over to join the pair where they were in the center of the rink, almost flinching back when he smelled the anger wafting off Yuri, but steeling himself and skating closer. 

"Yurio, maybe you should take a break?" Yuuri offered quietly, watching the young alpha in concern, it looked almost like he was blinking away tears. 

"I'm fucking fine, Katsudon."

"Yuri. Do not swear at Yuuri. He's just worried about you," Victor chided firmly. 

"Okay. I'm done. Agape is fucking stupid. This is fucking stupid. You're fucking stupid. It's all fucking stupid! Fuck this!" 

Yuri skated over to the boards and practically slapped his skate guards on before wobbling over to the bench as he tried stomping and huffing as he collapsed onto its metal surface. 

Yuuri and Victor glanced at each other, frowning in hurt and worry, before following Yuri off the ice, albeit in a much calmer manner, and sandwiching the angry, huffing alpha between them on the bench-he couldn't get away from them. 

"I know what we need!" Victor chimed cheerfully, "I was looking into more Shinto practices to help you find your Agape and you can visit a sacred waterfall and wash your entire body to purify yourself. It's called 'Misogi'."

Yuri hung his head, hunched his shoulders and muttered, "I don't think a fucking waterfall is going to help me right now."

"Well, let's try it, okay? We'll both go with you!"

Yuri nodded before snuffing and mumbling what sounded like a 'sorry'. 

Yuuri rubbed the young alpha's back while Victor got up and bustled around to grab their skating bags to change into some shoes so they could leave the rink. 

"It's okay to hurt, you know, Yurio? Victor hurts, you saw. I hurt, you've seen me cry. It's alright. And Victor and I are here for you, you don't have to hide from us."

Yuri half-heartedly shrugged Yuuri's hand off his shoulder where it was rubbing soothing circles before just giving up with a great sigh and burying his face into the omega's chest, shoulders shaking quietly. 

Victor pretended to be tying his shoes for a very long time to give Yuri and Yuuri some privacy while the teen cried onto the older skater's shoulder. When they were all cleaned up and in real shoes, they gathered their things and left the rink in search of a sacred waterfall. 

*~~~*

Victor sat in the shade with Makkachin to the side of the beautiful waterfall that poured directly into a small lake. Yuuri had encouraged Yuri to change into a set of white clothes with him from the Inn on the way-to be clean, pure. 

Now Yuuri stood with Yurio underneath the waterfall, in matching sets of white clothes, with their hands folded in contemplation. Yuri thought perhaps he was supposed to be clearing his mind-focusing on the present-no distractions...but all he could think about was the word: Agape. 

Agape. Agape, Agape, Agape...what was Agape to him? Did he have any concept of Agape inside of himself at all? Had he ever known Agape in his lifetime?

Agape. Agape was supposed to be pure, light, ephemeral and transient like an angel would be, but also eternal, timeless, ageless...also like an angel would be? Like a deity? 

Agape. Agape meant unconditional love. But all love had conditions, and one day, no matter what, love would end when life ended. There was no eternal love, because death stood in the way of that, right? Did Yuri even believe in the possibility of something like love existing beyond death? He just didn't know. 

Did his mom still love him? Even though she was dead? Did she have a consciousness, to feel love? Was he still loved by her though she was gone? It honestly hurt far too much to even consider. 

Would his grandpa still love him when he left this life?

That question made Yuri gasp and begin to cry again, but thankfully the sound and rushing water of the waterfall hid that from Yuuri who stood next to him in solidarity. Yuri was so weak. He would hide it if he could. Anything else, being vulnerable, it hurt, it was too difficult, even with the kindness Yuuri and Victor had shown him so far in the past few days. 

He had not known Agape from his dad. His dad who used to beat him because he looked too fucking much like his dead mom and it was just too difficult for his dad to bear. He had been happy to have been abandoned by his dad, or at least that's what he told himself, over and over, most days, until he believed it for real. 

Agape shouldn't hurt. It shouldn't come with the pain of beatings. It shouldn't come with abandonment as a choice, and not death forcing separation. So, no Agape in his relationship with his dad. 

His mom? He barely remembered her. He knew he had loved her. He had loved her so much. And he missed her, all the time, really. But had she loved him unconditionally? He knew it wasn't her fault she had died, but she had left him to the care of someone who beat him for looking like her amongst other things. Was that really Agape? He wasn't sure and didn't really want to think on it too much harder, because at this rate he would be a crying mess for hours to come and he wasn't quite sure how much more his strained mentality could handle. So, for all intents and purposes, no Agape in his relationship with his mom, at least that he was considering for the purposes of skating and finding his inner Agape. 

He didn't have other family, aside from his grandpa. 

Yuuri and Victor? Who wanted to be his step-in dam and sire? He didn't think he was really ready to think on that too deeply. He knew being around them generally made him happy. He...felt good with them, right. And that was a hard thing to swallow, even though it was a good thing. How should he feel about that? They weren't his real dam and sire. Hell, Yuuri barely knew him, really. It was all so soon, but his feelings were undeniable. Curling happily in his chest every time Yuuri drew him in for a hug or Victor patted his shoulder; it made him angry...and hopeful, and that made him angry all over again. Hoping for things had hurt him in the past, badly. 

He had hoped his mom would get better. No. He had hoped his dad would stop hitting him. No. He had hoped his friends would stick around when he decided to grow his hair out or when they saw him wearing women's clothing. No. He had hoped his grandpa's health would improve. No. 

Could he allow himself to hope for things with Yuuri and Victor to work out? They weren't even officially mated yet, Victor could still fuck everything up. It wasn't solid yet. It wasn't unconditional yet. It wasn't Agape. 

Maybe it could be Agape someday. Maybe they could be a family together one day. But not now, not this week, it wasn't Agape yet, but maybe it could be. 

Okay, so that left his thoughts focusing around his grandpa. His grandpa definitely loved him. His grandpa had always supported him, always. His grandpa who was from another time, supported him when he shopped in the women's clothing section. His grandpa knew he was gay and still loved him. He had only told Yuri to hide his sexuality and gender explorations because he was worried something bad would happen to him-the world could be cruel for homosexual and genderqueer or trans people. 

His grandpa used to take him to all his skating lessons, even when it was snowing really bad and his old bones ached in the cold. 

His grandpa had gotten him Potya, his cat, because he had wanted a cat more than anything else for a long while. 

His grandpa...his rough, grizzled face frowning in concern and sadness as he noticed another mark on Yuri from his dad. 

His grandpa...threatening his dad over the phone, trying to protect Yuri. 

His grandpa...tucking him in when he had bad dreams and night terrors even though he was a teen and should have grown out of these things if not for his dad's abuse. 

His grandpa...bundling him up when he was so tiny and young, marching through a blizzard so that Yuri wouldn't miss a skating class. 

His grandpa...baking pirozhki for Yuri to eat on cold days, to keep him warm and full, like he was being hugged. 

His grandpa...his grandpa loved him so much, and he loved his grandpa so much. He had his fears over his bad health and he knew nobody could live forever, but if he knew Agape it had to be from his grandpa. 

Yuri felt like...like the foggy haze had lifted from his mind. Agape. His Agape was his love for his grandpa which he had learned from his grandpa's love for him. His story? He would skate his fucking heart out, to show his grandpa how much he loved him. He would break himself, anything, make himself perfection, if it meant his grandpa knew just for a minute how much love Yuri held in his heart for him and how thankful he was for all that his grandpa had done for him. 

As for everyone else who had fucked him over? Who had broken his hope? Fuck them. He was better than them. And he was going to show everyone, in his skating, that they couldn’t touch him. He was stronger now. Smarter and stronger. His anger still lit into him, constantly, but he had a grasp now on his Agape. On what it was and what it was not. 

He quietly laid old Yuri to rest underneath the waterfall. He was new Yuri now. 

He was renewed. He was clean and pure now. He knew his Agape. He could become Agape, embody it. He was new. He was ready. He could fucking do this. 

They could all watch and burn for all he cared, everyone who had hurt him, everyone who had made it so hard for him to find his Agape in the first place, to understand what it meant and how it was supposed to feel. They could all look and see what they had made him do-he would become perfect. 


	26. Fouetté 1: The Eros of Jealousy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor and Yuuri encounter a rude omega who won't take 'no' for an answer and Yuuri's inner omega comes out in all of his possessive, jealous glory. 
> 
> “Fouetté: /fo͞oəˈtā/ noun BALLET: A pirouette performed with a circular whipping movement of the raised leg to the side; a quick shift of direction of the upper body, performed with one leg extended."
> 
> Songs:
> 
> Walking With a Ghost by Tegan and Sara  
> Shock To Your System by Tegan and Sara  
> Miss Murder by AFI  
> Raging (feat. Kodaline) by Kygo  
> Wolves by Selena Gomez & Marshmello

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNINGS:
> 
> Unwanted public romantic advances  
> Jealousy and Possessiveness  
> Cussing  
> Biting  
> Very mild bleeding from bite wound  
> Rough (consensual) sex  
> Anxiety attack  
> Aftercare  
> Soreness after sex

When they left the waterfall, they had gone back to the Inn to change into dry clothing. But even after they had soaked in the hot springs, and then put clean, dry clothes on, Yuri still seemed kind of dazed and out of it. Victor and Yuuri weren't sure what was going on in the young alpha's mind, but he wouldn't talk to either of them about it. 

They decided going out for ramen for dinner was a good idea instead of eating at the Inn like usual. Maybe the change of pace would help Yuri come back to them?

But while they were at the ramen place, Yuri sat alone at a table, quietly, while Yuuri and Victor went to the bar to order the ramen individually and watch as it was prepared. 

Victor was entranced as he watched the ramen being prepared. It was an intricate, unique process, that Yuuri explained was different in practically every ramen establishment you could visit in Japan. Each place had their own way of preparing and serving ramen. 

He was pointing out words to Yuuri from the menu scrawled above their heads on a chalkboard and Yuuri would read the words to Victor first in English and then in Japanese, and the alpha would try repeating them back in Japanese, to practice. Every time he got a pronunciation correct, not mired by a thick accent, Yuuri would smile encouragingly and nod his head so cutely at Victor, it only made the alpha more eager to practice and to learn Japanese quickly-he wanted to make his mate happy. 

Victor was so wrapped up in watching the ramen preparation and the impromptu Japanese lesson, he didn't notice the omega that had scooted very close behind him at the bar, now standing almost back to front with him so that as Victor turned to pick up his glass of water to take a sip, his elbow bumped into the strange omega. 

Victor had learned that in Japan, it was not common to see any public displays of affection between even married couples. They didn't really have pet names either, because of how the honorifics system worked, so Yuuri called him 'Vicchan' or American pet names he had picked up while living in Detroit. 

So, Victor was completely caught by surprise as this strange omega completely invaded his personal space and practically preened at him when he turned around to look at them. They were not Japanese, that much was clear. They looked European, and then they opened their mouth and started speaking in accented English that marked them as being from America, most likely. 

"I'm sorry, I just wasn't sure if it really was you, Victor Nikiforov, so I just had to get closer to find out, and it is you after all!"

Victor stared. He wasn't unused to meeting fans in public, but generally they weren't so bold as to practically glue themselves to his body and puff up, preening in satisfaction, when he so much as looked at them. He had no idea how to react. He could smell their scent coming off of them in waves and it wasn't pleasant. They smelled like...jasmine? Some sort of flower, but it was giving Victor the start of a headache behind his eyes, especially as it strengthened into something resembling arousal, want, and desire, clouding around him-Victor thought he might be ill.

"I read that you were staying here in Hasetsu to coach some other skater and I've been looking to meet you and when I heard you were coaching now, I just wanted to see if you'd be interested in coaching me?"

At this point, Yuuri had come forward and in a completely uncharacteristic show of public affection and possession, he wrapped his arms around Victor's waist. He didn't smell happy. Victor could smell his sweet apple scent curdling and souring with anger, possession, and even the caramel, heavy undertones of strong jealousy. He felt for Yuuri, he didn't want his mate to be unhappy, but the thought that he had anything to be jealous of was almost laughable. He wasn't about to leave him, ever, and especially not for some random fan that thought they had any claim over Victor's life. 

Suddenly the omega reached out his hand and grabbed Victor's where it hung limply at his side and looked up into his face, bringing his nose dangerously close to Victor's scent gland. Yuuri hissed. He downright hissed at the strange omega, and Victor felt Yuuri's blunt fingernails pressing into his clothed waist, clawing at his alpha, ready to defend his claim. 

Victor snapped out of his surprised daze and took a jerky step back, made more difficult by Yuuri's bulk wrapped around his body. Victor grabbed both of Yuuri's hands and wove their fingers together, trying to comfort his mate, who was stiff as a board and quivering against his back. Victor could still hear very, very low hisses still spitting from the angry omega's lips. 

"I-I'm sorry, but well, I'm not sorry, actually, but I have a student and I'm not looking to accept any more at this time. I'm only coaching Yuuri right now."

"Are you sure, Victor? Because you haven't even seen me skate, and believe me, I'm way better than this nobody," The omega leaned in again, despite the small space Victor had tried putting between them, and purred, "I'm talented off the ice too, if that's what you're after," and the strong smell of omegan arousal smacked Victor in the face-and it smelled so wrong. It wasn't Yuuri's sugary apples, blossoming and ripening to fullness he was scenting, it was an overwhelming and bitter scent reeking of jasmine and moss. 

Victor took another step back and shook his head to clear his nose of the stench and tried to unclamp his omega's arms from his waist, trying to sooth his upset mate by rubbing soft circles into his wrists with his thumbs where their hands were connected. Yuuri was strong though and he wouldn't move his arms, he stubbornly grunted and held to Victor tighter when he felt the alpha trying to loosen the grip.

"Alright, moya lyobov'  _(my love)_ , it's alright, there's nothing to be upset over, this man is leaving now," Victor said while shooting a pointed look at the strange omega. 

"He's acting kind of clingy, isn't he? If I were your student, I wouldn't be so uptight."

Victor inhaled sharply, not only was this rude man not leaving at his cue, he was saying negative things about his mate now; as if Yuuri wasn't already upset enough. Yuuri hissed again, louder this time, and alarmingly, Victor felt his arms finally unclamp around from his waist, but only because his omega was crouching low and preparing to spring onto the offending omega, to attack him. 

Victor turned around, showing his back to the strange omega in a complete dismissal, and wrapped his arms around Yuuri as firmly as he could, whispering, "No, kotyonok  _(kitty)_ _,_ come now, don't let this trash affect your reputation by public brawling. I'm yours, only yours, you don't need to defend your claim, because I'm all yours, dorogoy  _(darling)_."

The omega behind Victor got closer, but Yuri had finally noticed what was happening and stepped over from the table. 

"You got a fucking problem?!"

Yuri's angry scent combined with Victor's clouding, possessive scent, and finally the omega huffed and walked away. 

"If we see you around us again, we're calling the police, so stay the fuck away from our pack!" Yuri shouted. 

Victor paused for a moment- _Yuri had called them his pack_. But he didn't have time to really dwell on it or to feel happy about it just yet, Yuuri was still shaking in his arms, hissing and entirely besides himself. It was like his instincts had entirely taken over, he was just an omega running on instincts, not his Yuuri right then. 

There hadn't been a large crowd at the small ramen place, but the few people that were there were locals and seemed rather shocked over Yuuri's strong reaction-it was just so public. Thankfully there was no press around and the locals weren't the type to record something like this for personal gain or social media attention. Victor gathered Yuuri up into his arms and carried him from the restaurant since his knees had locked and he didn't seem to want to move. 

They made the quick walk back to the Inn and Yuri thankfully paused in the dining room to briefly explain to Yuuri's parents that Yuuri wasn't feeling well and that Victor would take care of him upstairs before heading to his own room. 

Victor tried to lay Yuuri onto the bed but the omega's arms remained locked around his neck now and the alpha fell on top of the omega into their nest. Yuuri's arms remained around Victor's neck but the alpha had turned them so they were laying on their sides, facing each other, inside their nest, which was for the best because it smelled only of them, strongly. 

Victor started purring loudly, and dotted little kisses all over Yuuri's face and neck, whispering small reassurance to him in between brushes of his lips, "Everything is alright now,  _detka_ _(baby)_ , it's just you and me in our nest."

"Come back to me, moya lyobov'  _(my love)_ , where is my sweet Yuuri hiding?"

"My Yura, I love you, I'm all yours."

Victor nosed against Yuuri's scent glands, which were slowly switching from overwhelming, heavy scents of possession, jealousy, and anger to the sweeter notes of want, arousal, and contentment. He felt his gums itch as his fangs pricked at them, and his venom started running down his throat, he wanted to please his mate, he would give anything to his mate to make him happy again. He nuzzled into the omega's swollen scent glands and purred loudly, licking up his scented oil with small, kitten licks and leaving gentle nips behind. 

Suddenly Yuuri moaned loudly and unlocked his arms from around Victor, only to press himself closely against the alpha's body and latch his mouth to sucking at the alpha's own scent glands. Yuuri's hips started rutting against Victor's and the alpha grabbed at the omega's backside to gain more friction, only for his hand to slip in the copious amounts of slick that had soaked through Yuuri's pants. 

"How do you want me,  _detka_ _(baby)_ , you're already so wet for me."

Yuuri just grunted quietly in response before sitting up and quickly stripping his clothes off while Victor followed suit and got rid of his own clothes, tossing them over the edge of their nest. 

When he was laying back in their nest, Yuuri grabbed Victor's bony hips and flipped him over before lifting, positioning him onto his hands and knees. 

"Oh my God, yes Yura, take me, dorogoy  _(darling)_ ," Victor breathed, moaning at the end when he felt Yuuri's grip tighten on his hips, fingers flexing against his pale skin. 

Yuuri released his white-knuckled grip on Victor's hips and buried his face forward into the alpha's cleft, nosing and licking at his entrance hungrily, making small growls and purrs in turn. He plunged his tongue inside of Victor's puckered entrance and worked the alpha's muscles open with his saliva and two fingers. 

Victor buried his face into the base of their nest and was whimpering, partially at the burn of the stretch and partially in base need for his mate-he felt like they were on the edge, about to fall over into that place driven only by instincts, just like being in a heat and rut together. Already his mind was only thrumming with the repeated mantra of:  _'mate, mate, mate, need...'_

Suddenly Yuuri pulled back from Victor's entrance and hissed, shocking the alpha with the angry noise, before he growled, "Mine! My mate!" and bit down on Victor's right ass cheek harshly with his blunt, omegan teeth. 

Omegas didn't have fangs, and when bonding, could puncture their mate's scent glands, but without fangs or venom their mate's scent wouldn't change to match their own. The only purpose marking served for an omega to their mate would be for the scar left behind, to show other's that their mate was bonded and not available. But an omega's teeth, though blunt, were still as sharp as ever, and Yuuri bit down so hard into Victor's flesh he drew blood, which he proceeded to lick up while contentedly purring. 

Victor had jumped when Yuuri bit him and now that he was cleaning the wound with his tongue, the alpha was shaking a bit-it hurt, badly, but he wasn't upset, he wanted his mate to feel free to claim him, mark him, anywhere on his body, but he felt very exposed and vulnerable in the aftermath of it all. The alpha whined and shook and the omega gentled him, laying him back down into their nest on his side and began to groom him past the bite mark with his tongue. 

Yuuri groomed and cleaned his mate's backside, over the swell of his hip, and settled into cleaning his groin area. He laved his tongue all over Victor's still-hard erection, over his swollen knot, and soft scrotum, and then he took the alpha's sex into his mouth and sucked and licked happily while his throat hummed with a happy purr. 

The omega practically pulled the alpha's hardness into his throat, swallowing around the plush crown, and began to play with the bite he had left on his mate's backside with his fingers and Victor suddenly cried out and filled his mate's waiting mouth with his hot seed. 

Yuuri held the fluid in his mouth until he cupped his hand and let it dribble back out onto his fingers, and then he eased Victor onto his front again and started using his slicked fingers, sticky with cum, to open the alpha's entrance up once more. 

Victor's hole felt empty, he wanted, he needed his mate inside of him, touching all of him, stretching and opening him up, just for Yuuri, only ever for Yuuri. Yuuri's three fingers weren't enough, even with his tongue licking and sliding around his stretched rim. He had set up a steady whine now, pitching with increased need, and didn't hush until the omega was finally blanketing the alpha with his body and pressing his hardened sex deeply inside of his mate. 

Yuuri sunk into Victor fully, and remained as deep as he could before pulling his hips back just a bit and thrusting back into his mate's body, pushing and nudging their bodies as closely together as possible. The omega grabbed Victor's hands and twined their fingers together and sunk his teeth into the meat of the alpha's shoulder as his hips began thrusting and rutting quicker and harsher into his mate's body. Victor's knotted cock was already hard again where it was pinned between his body and the base of their nest and he was squirming as he could to get friction against it while Yuuri pinned his whole body underneath him and just took Victor's body as his own, again and again-he was so open to the omega, he would never, could never, shut himself away. 

As Yuuri continued plunging into Victor, impossibly deep, it felt like his teeth got tighter on the alpha's shoulder with every thrust, and when a particularly rough thrust pegged against his prostate gland he moaned weakly and orgasmed again all over the base of their nest and his own belly. The alpha was groaning and yelling the omega's name with each thrust into his body, "Yuu-ri...Yuu-ri..."

The tightening in his body set off the omega's own orgasm and he stiffened and then trembled as he emptied himself into his lover's body. 

Yuuri pulled out of his mate's body and was still hard and fully erect. He tugged at Victor's arm until the alpha looked over at him and allowed the omega to manhandle him into a position where he was straddling Yuuri's hips, about to sink down onto his mate's cock and ride him. 

Victor pulled his hips up, hovering with his entrance over Yuuri's sex, and whined until the omega grabbed the alpha's hips harshly and pulled him down onto his length. The alpha sunk to the root of the omega's cock, taking his lover's sex deeply into himself, and his knot and dick started to swell to hardness again at the pressing, unending intrusion into his most intimate parts. 

Victor set up a steady rhythm quickly, rocking on top of his lover and nearly screaming every time Yuuri's cock pressed into his prostate gland. The omega grabbed the alpha's swollen knot and started massaging it in his hands and Victor cried as his fangs finally burst through his gum line, painfully, with a rush of venom in their wake, dripping down his chin. The venom dripped onto the omega's chest and Yuuri arched up underneath the alpha, shooting long ropes of sticky seed inside of his lover's body as the venom burned and tingled on his flesh. Victor shook his way through a third orgasm as Yuuri's hands tightened and clenched around his tender, swollen knot. 

He practically collapsed onto the omega, completely exhausted and wrung out physically and emotionally. It felt like they had just experienced a mini-heat and rut together. He had never experienced anything like it before, it certainly wasn't a real, reactionary heat or rut, like when they had first encountered each other closely at the banquet or again when Victor moved to Hasetsu. Perhaps Yuuri had been thrown into this small, heat episode by his jealousy and Victor's hormones had reacted to his mate's? 

He didn't know. He didn't particularly care either-he was just so tired. His body felt sore and used in the best of ways and he curled up in his mate's arms, and they both fell asleep together in their nest, purring in safe content. 

Victor woke a couple of hours later to Yuuri's slightly-panicked sounding Japanese mumbles. The omega was looking at the bite he had left on Victor's ass cheek, now surrounded by a purple bruise, and was starting to breath erratically. The only light was the salt lamp nightlight Yuuri had moved to Victor's room and kept on at night, so it was dim, but what the omega could see, of the blood from Victor's fangs and Yuuri's bite on Victor, he was panicking. 

Victor quickly wrapped his arms around his lover and whispered softly to him, "Hush now, moya lyobov'  _(my love)_ , my Yura, what's wrong? What's upsetting you?"

"I-I h-hurt you...I-I e-embarrassed y-you in p-public when I went all crazy omega a-and then I b-bit you, I made you bleed, w-when we were having sex and, and w-we've never had sex like that, so, so hard except when I-I'm in heat and you're in rut and, and I-oh Vicchan, I'm so sorry, Vicchan, I'm sorry!" Yuuri broke off sobbing into Victor's neck, shoulders shaking as he gasped for breath and hiccupped in between cries. 

"Shh, shh, Yuuri, oh my sweet, darling Yura, there's nothing to be sorry for. I promise you, I wanted all of that, you didn't do anything I didn't want. And you didn't embarrass me, that omega embarrassed themselves by acting so rude. And I love your omega, Yuuri, I love you, all of you, I understand you got caught up in instincts-we both did. There's nothing that happened tonight that I regret, Yura, really."

"...you sure?" Yuuri mumbled into Victor's damp neck, trying to catch his breath as the alpha nodded. 

"Yes, of course, Yura, I'm sure. I love you, so much. I love your omega side. I love everything about you. Everything is okay, I promise, it's all okay. 

Victor grinned, "If you must know, I really, really, love your omega when he comes out all feral like that. That was some amazing sex~"

"Vicchan...no..." Yuuri groaned, hiding his blushing face further into Victor's neck, as if he could bury himself and stay there forever. 

"Vicchan yes," Victor laughed, "That was really the most wonderful-"

"Oh my God, stop! No more!" Yuuri laughed in return, rubbing his damp nose against Victor's bruised shoulder and pushing himself up to look into his mate's face, smiling, "You're ridiculous and I love you, Vicchan."

"Ah, I love you more, dorogoy  _(darling)_ ~" Victor chirped, his laughter successfully hushed as Yuuri pressed their lips together in a kiss that quickly turned heated. 

"Mm, my Yura, you're delicious~" Victor purred at his mate, who was now straddling his hips. 

"V-Vitya, y-you're insatiable...w-we just..." Yuuri tried to groan but his hips continued pressing against Victor's, rubbing their hardened sexes together, and making anything he wanted to say fall right out of his mind in the pleasure between them. 

"Yes, kotyonok  _(kitty)_ , you used me so well, I'm all worn out and sore, so you'll have to be gentle with me this time. You'll have to make sure to press your cock into me nice and slow, and wring the orgasm out of me while I'm crying your name, hmm, dorogoy  _(darling)_ , would you like that?"

"Oh God...Vitya, a-are you sure? You're not too sore?" Yuuri asked as his hips made desperate drags against Victor's, their sexes plump and thick while the alpha's knot began to swell and harden as well. 

"Yes, please, take me again, Yura, make me all yours again, l-love me," Victor moaned, voice catching as Yuuri ground his hips down in delicious friction against the alpha's swelling knot. 

Yuuri reaching into his own entrance to coat his fingers in his sweetly-scented slick, but when he brought them to Victor's entrance he found the alpha's hole still stretched and damp with the omega's seed. He had wrecked his mate and now when he sunk into Victor's body it was like what he imagined the term 'sloppy seconds' must feel like-sinking into a wet, loose, and well-used hole-and it felt amazing. Yuuri loved it, knowing he had been the one to wreck Victor's ass like this and to take him all over again. 

Yuuri thrust deeply into Victor and felt some of his old semen squelch out past the alpha's puffy, abused rim and groaned, "Oh God, Vitya, I love doing this to you."

Victor felt like he could truly see all of Yuuri, out of his shell, and the omega moving above him was beautiful, powerful, and confident-this was the Yuuri he had met at the banquet who had swept him off his feet. He loved every facet of his mate, and was practically giddy at getting to see this part of Yuuri again when he wasn't drunk. 

"I love making you mine, Vitya, all mine. Mine," Yuuri growled, as he thrust quicker into Victor's body. 

"Yes, Yuuri! Yura! Tell me how you feel, Yuuri! This is your true Eros," Victor practically moaned, panting as the omega above him took him apart again on his thick cock. 

"I feel powerful," Yuuri punctuated with a thrust, "Beautiful...Wanted...Possessive...You're mine, all mine, Vitya, and when I skate Eros I want you to think of me inside of you, taking you like this, again and again," Yuuri panted, hips thrusting impossibly fast and hard into the alpha's body, bending him practically in-half with the force of his thrusts, pinning Victor's knees up by his ears with his hands on the backs of the alpha's thighs. 

"Yuuri! Yes, Yura, yes, yes, yessssss!" Victor shouted as he orgasmed all over his own chest, his dick spurting his seed with thick twitches timed to his lover's thrusts into his body. 

Yuuri pushed his cock deeply into Victor's body, holding it there as he groaned and his sex pulsed, cum gushing into the alpha's used entrance. 

This time, when Yuuri pulled out, and they cuddled together, falling asleep, they stayed asleep until Yuuri's alarm clock went off a few hours later. Victor groaned and rolled over, burying his face into their nest, which was now crusty with their fluids, more so than before, and probably needed cleaning, but he couldn't find it in himself to care-his whole body ached. He felt a sore ache from his head to his toes and when he moved he felt sharp, shooting pains running through his lower back and legs, stemming from his abused ass. 

Victor whined and Yuuri hushed him softly before leaving to grab a warm washcloth and cleaning the alpha's body gently. 

"Okay Vicchan, it's time to get some clothes on, can I do that for you? Can I help you?"

"Just put me in sweats and a shirt," Victor mumbled, feeling so tired it was difficult to keep his eyes open. 

Yuuri helped dress the alpha and then he teetered in the entrance of their nest and fell back into the nest in a lump. 

"Vicchan, I'm so sorry I hurt you-" Yuuri started apologizing, feeling anxious over how sore and tired the alpha was. 

But Victor mumbled a dismissive, "Worth it," and curled up into a ball in the middle of their nest and fell back asleep, hugging Yuuri's pillow to his chest. 

Yuuri sighed and decided to leave the alpha to sleep and get up in his own time. He asked his mom to bring Victor a tray of breakfast in about an hour and also asked her to help him call a cab if he needed it to get to the rink. He didn't explain why but with the way his mom was grinning like a maniacal fiend, he just blushed and couldn’t meet her eyes. 

Yuri had already left and was at the rink when Yuuri arrived. 

"Wow, I'm surprised you're here, Katsudon."

"Oh, w-well, you know, Victor, he was out drinking till dawn and-"

"Save it, Katsudon, I know what you were doing, it's not like everyone in the Inn couldn’t hear you guys."

Yuuri felt his whole face, neck, and chest heat in a furious blush. He thought he might melt through the ice right there. He didn't want Yuri to get the wrong idea about his relationship with Victor, thinking it was only physical, or thinking it had any bearing on their skating relationship as coach and student. 

Yuri grumbled but skated closer to Yuuri, "Hey, don't sweat it, Katsudon, it's not a big deal. You guys are mated and shit, or you will be," he said, eyeing Yuuri's bruised scent glands where the collar from his jacket dipped down, "I'll still kick your ass all over the ice, doesn't matter who your mate is, Victor Nikiforov or not."

Yuuri shook his head and cuffed Yuri's shoulder gently before they each went to a side of the rink and tried running through their programs individually. They only had a couple of days until the competition and Yuuri still couldn't land his quad salchow consistently in practice. 

He landed on the ice again and grunted in frustration, until Yuri skated over and offered to help. Yuuri felt warmth bursting in his heart, his pup was such a sweetheart when he wanted to be, but when he tried thanking Yuri, the young alpha grumbled and brushed it off. 

Victor arrived mid-morning, with terrible bedhead, and just watched Yuuri and Yuri skate from the sidelines of the ice with a goofy, happy smile in place. He was so happy his family, his pack, was bonding. 

When Yuri did a run through of Agape for Victor, while Yuuri watched too, Victor commented, "Looks like Yurio found his Agape. He's ready for the next stage."

"Does that mean I have a next stage, once I perform the Eros of the pork cutlet bowl? I still can't find it though." 

Yuuri looked so disheartened, but quickly blushed and stumbled back when Victor leaned in to whisper into his ear, "You showed me your Eros last night, Yura, just show that to everyone on the ice."

He needed to figure out how to show his Eros that only Victor saw in the bedroom to the audience on the ice somehow. He needed to be confident. He needed...to call Phichit. 


	27. Fouetté 2: The Most Beautiful Woman In Town

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri, Victor, and Yuri get makeup lessons and self-confidence boosts from Phichit. Yuuri and Yuri pick out the costumes they'll wear to skate to Eros and Agape. Yuuri prepares to skate Eros at the Onsen on Ice Competition. 
> 
> “Fouetté: /fo͞oəˈtā/ noun BALLET: A pirouette performed with a circular whipping movement of the raised leg to the side; a quick shift of direction of the upper body, performed with one leg extended." 
> 
> Songs:
> 
> Girls Will Be Girls by Sophie Beem  
> Good for You (feat. A$AP Rocky) by Selena Gomez  
> Dangerous Woman by Ariana Grande  
> Shut Up and Drive by Rihanna  
> I Wanna Go by Britney Spears  
> Confident by Demi Lovato

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *For anyone who's curious, I will post this at the end of the story, with the full soundtrack, but here is the "Katsudon Fatale" Playlist that Phichit sends to Yuuri in this chapter:
> 
> Take Me On The Floor by The Veronicas  
> Hey Mama (feat. Nicki Minaj, Bebe Rexha & Afrojack) by David Guetta  
> Bad Romance by Lady Gaga  
> Alejandro by Lady Gaga  
> Good for You (feat. A$AP Rocky) by Selena Gomez  
> Dangerous Woman by Ariana Grande  
> Shut Up and Drive by Rihanna  
> I Wanna Go by Britney Spears  
> Confident by Demi Lovato  
> Greedy by Ariana Grande  
> Get Some by Lykke Li  
> Untouched by The Veronicas
> 
> CHAPTER WARNINGS:
> 
> Mentions of anxiety and depressive episodes  
> Cussing

There was roughly one full day left until the Onsen on Ice competition between Yuuri and Yuri. Yuri had found his Agape, and was skating Agape beautifully, uncharacteristically serene. Yuuri...had the story of Eros down, and he had chosen his role in the story as he skated it...he just, was missing something. He could skate the entire piece mostly flawlessly, he had the choreography down.  

The thing was...he identified as the most beautiful woman in town, but he didn't actually feel like the most beautiful woman in town more often than not. He had self-confidence issues, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and was prone to depressive episodes, and all of this made it very difficult for him to fully identify and take the reins of the role of 'the most beautiful woman in town'.  

He wanted to feel like that. And he needed to feel like that in order to skate Eros successfully, he knew that his own confidence in his role was his hang-up to performing Eros right. He was really at a loss. So, mid-afternoon, as they were eating their lunch before heading to the dance studio, Yuuri took a moment to video call one of the most confident, feminine, divas Yuuri knew-Phichit Chulanont, his best friend.  

He tried to step away from where Victor and Yuri were picking through the bento box lunch his mom had packed for them all to talk to Phichit privately, but Victor wandered over curiously and then Yuri followed, grumbling about being left out between the three of them. This made the call even more difficult than it would have already been, but Yuuri tried ignoring how Victor had wrapped his arms over his shoulders like a cuddly octopus and how Yuri was grumpily huffing,  _'_ _tch_ _t_ _'_  and picking at the small holes in the old leggings Yuuri was wearing, and focused on his best friend's cheerful smile as it lit up the small screen of his phone.  

"Yuuri! I know you've been texting me regularly, but it's been FOREVER since you've video called me! Way to leave your 'ol best friend languishing here~ Ugh, but, oh! Hi Victor and Yuri! Um, is everything alright, Yuuri?" 

Yuuri had, by now, blushed so hard he felt like his face was turning purple. His openness with Phichit had been hard-won over years of close friendship, and what he had called for was very personal. He knew he could talk about this with Victor and Yuri but...he felt very sensitive about this topic with them, he almost didn't want to feel like a failure in their eyes when it came to skating Eros.  

He didn't want to seem weak for asking for this sort of help. Yuri had found Agape mostly on his own, their help hadn't been this direct. Victor had choreographed Eros and Agape alone, he was a genius on the ice, a legend...and Yuuri...he was about to ask his best friend how to get in touch with his feminine side. He felt like an idiot.  

"Uh...h-hi Phichit. Um...h-how are you?" Yuuri started awkwardly, having to bat Yuri's hands away from his leggings before the young alpha picked the small holes into large tears, while also wiggling uncomfortably under Victor's weight on his shoulders.  

"I'm okay...Yuuri, what's up? Do you need something? You seem upset?" 

"I...i-it's just that...um...I want you to teach me how to be feminine! I-I want to learn to put makeup on a-and, and b-be s-sexy!" Yuuri quickly blurted, before hiding his face with one hand, while his other hand shook so badly the image of Phichit on his phone screen blurred.  

"Oh! What a good idea, moya lyobov'  _(my love_ _)_!" Victor added excitedly, jostling Yuuri more when his arms tightened around the flustered omega.  

"Hey, me too! I want to learn how to put makeup on!" Yuri piped up, swiping the phone from Yuuri's hand and scowling at the cheerful skater smiling on the screen up at him.  

"Oh, my sweet Summer child, my precious cinnamon roll, Yuuri~ I'm so happy you called me for this!!!" Phichit cooed and cheered from the phone, voice coming out all pitched and tinny from the small speakers.  

"I mean, I practically got to my knees, thanking the gods, when I got your pretty butt into a skirt, and now you're finally going to let me teach you to paint on wings sharp enough to cut! My baby is all grown up and off to save China!" Phichit continued to gush.  

Victor frowned a bit, pulling Yuuri's face from where he was hiding it in his hands, "Moya lyobov'  _(my love_ _)_ , what about China?" 

Yuri stuffed Yuuri's phone, where Phichit was now cackling like a loon, into his pocket and slapped Victor on the shoulder, "He's referencing Mulan, you dumbass, he's like spitting out memes." 

Yuuri ignored Victor and Yuri and grabbed his phone back out of Yuri's pocket. He took a deep breath and tried not to look too hard at the gleeful look on Phichit's face, "Alright, what do we need?" 

"Makeup tutorials for three, coming right up! I'll text you a list for the store and be ready in an hour!" 

*~~~* 

The three boys had sequestered themselves in Yuuri's bedroom. Victor's bedroom 'reeked of sex' according to Yuri, their most recent mating nest was still up on Victor's bed after all. Yuri's room was smaller than Yuuri's. So, they settled into Yuuri's bedroom, each with their own handheld mirror and a selection of cosmetics and beauty tools that Phichit had sent on a list to Yuuri.  

They had gone to a local department store to get all of the things on the list, and Yuuri had mysteriously slipped off for about 20 minutes without a word to either Victor or Yuri. Victor hoped the omega was alright and that he wasn't pushing himself too hard just to find his Eros for the skating competition. Victor knew Yuuri had very sensual inner Eros, he had witnessed it first hand, after all, it was what had sent him into a reactionary rut that first night. Yuuri just needed to allow his Eros through all his layers of anxiety and self-consciousness. Yuuri didn't need makeup to be beautiful, but if it would help him feel more confident, then Victor would be fully supportive.     

As they got settled, Victor sagely told them both how he used to wear makeup in his younger days, but that he had never been very good at applying eyeliner. He mainly had used mascara to make his pale eyelashes stand out. Yuri griped at the older alpha to  _'stop telling stories, old man,'_ so Victor quieted down and they video called Phichit on Yuuri's laptop so they could see him on a larger screen this time.  

Yuuri had refused to speak beyond what was necessary since he had called Phichit in the first place, and that, paired with his mysterious 20-minute absence in the store earlier, caused Victor to get rather worried. Yuuri didn't smell particularly stressed or anxious, though, just some...heavier tones than usual? He almost smelled...aroused? But not quite. It was...something else, heady and powerful, and Victor hoped it continued-Yuuri smelled like apples dipped in caramel and crushed cherry candy. If Yuri weren't around he would have already pounced on the omega and chased the delicious scent right to its source with his tongue.  

He shook his head, trying to clear it of the aroused fog that was seeping in with his omega's scent, blossoming around them in the room. Yuri wrinkled his nose and grunted in complaint, before Yuuri shyly offered the young alpha some scent-blocking balm to rub under his nose to block the strong smells.  

Phichit watched this exchange with amusement, laughing, "Stinking the place up, Yuuri?"  

Yuuri blushed and mumbled something about just being excited to try makeup, that it was nothing more, while the beta on the video call and the two alphas behind Yuuri's shoulders rolled their eyes in tandem. Phichit was very good at demonstrating the makeup application techniques for all of them, he was patient, and even Yuri smiled when the beta complimented the sharp wings he had managed to paint on perfectly from the corners of his eyes.  

When they were done Yuuri turned to look at Victor, facing him directly for the first time, and Victor...Victor thought he might get a nosebleed? His brain stuttered, his heart stopped for a beat before kicking back in double-time, he couldn't function...his Yuuri, his omega, his mate, was fucking gorgeous. It was unfair. It was almost painful to look at. It twisted up all of his insides into knots.  

"...Vicchan? Victor? Victor, are you alright? Victor?" 

Victor snapped to attention, stuttering, "O-Oh, um, y-yes, yes to whatever you were saying, Yura?" 

Phichit burst out laughing from the laptop while Yuri looked disgusted, grimacing.  

"Oh my gods! Yuuri, you just broke Victor Nikiforov! How does it feel, you sexy queen?" 

"Okay! Bye! I'm so over this. I'll see you losers at dinner," Yuri yelled, before stomping from the room.  

Yuuri looked worried, cupping Victor's face in his hands, tilting the alpha's chin up slightly, "Vicchan, are you alright?" 

Victor nodded, trying hard not to let his gaze glaze over in arousal and wonder again. Yuuri had silver eyeshadow glimmering like diamonds until it darkened to make a smoky effect around his mahogany eyes. His gorgeous gaze was framed with black eyeliner, sharp with wings on the sides. His cheeks had been contoured and were filled in with rosy blush, mimicking his natural, shy blush. The omega's lips were shiny and lush, plump and painted with nude lip balm.  

"I'll just leave you two lovebirds alone, then! Glad you enjoyed the makeup tutorial! And Yuuri, I think you're gonna be just fine. You're gorgeous and sexy and I know you can bring some inner confidence to the ice! Don't forget the playlist I sent you to prep, love! Bye bye, now!" Phichit chirped before signing off from the video call.  

Victor thought there was a ringing in his ears, he was having a hard time focusing beyond the shine of his omega's lips in front of him.  

"Vicchan...you really like the way I look, huh?" 

Yuuri was suddenly straddling the alpha's lap, rolling his hips down onto Victor's prominent erection, causing the Russian skater to moan loudly, unabashedly.  

"I have a surprise for you, I don't know if you'll like it? Phichit sent me a, um, a 'Femme Fatale' playlist via email while we were at the store today, he said it might help me get into the right mindset. I'm going to put it on and then I'll show you your surprise, alright?" 

Victor just nodded, not able to speak at the moment. Yuuri pulled up a playlist on his laptop and Victor smiled when he saw the omega had titled it: "Katsudon Fatale" but then Yuuri was standing and pulling his clothing off, his scent of arousal was clouding every one of Victor's senses, and the song "Dangerous Woman" by Ariana Grande was crooning from the speakers of the laptop. Victor thought he might have forgotten how to breathe for a moment, gasping, as his heartbeat pounded in his ears. Yuuri was naked now except for a pair of simple, black silk panties.  

The panties had ruffles at the waistband and the edges where they hugged Yuuri's thick thighs. The omega settled back into Victor's lap, rolling his hips in time to the song over the alpha's clothed erection. Victor whimpered, before he cleared his throat, and whined, grabbing Yuuri's plush backside in his hands. The panties were already soaked all down the back with Yuuri's slick, and Victor moaned before leaning forward to suck marks over Yuuri's collarbones. The omega was squirming on the alpha's lap now, whining for  _more, more_ _more_ _~_  

Victor slid his hand down into Yuuri's panties and found the omega's slick hole, pressing a finger into it deeply, before thrusting shallowly a few times, teasingly while the omega whined and hissed above him, demanding even  _more, more_ _more_ _~_ Victor scented the room and sweetness bloomed on his tongue, everything tasted like candied apples, like Yuuri, his sweet Yuuri. The alpha bit gently around the omega's scent gland, licking up the scented oil dripping from it hungrily while he added two more fingers to Yuuri's slick slit, fucking the Japanese skater on three fingers with hard thrusts.  

Yuuri rode Victor's hand, rolling his hips in time with the alpha's thrusts, and cried out louder and louder until he was spilling his orgasm all over both of their stomachs where his dick had poked out from the top of his small panties. Victor sucked hard at the omega's scent gland and throbbed with his own orgasm in his pants, his knot twitching in sensitivity and aftershocks. They kissed stickily, ruining both of their lip makeup, where the nude and pink colors blended and rubbed together at the press of their mouths.  

Yuuri trailed messy, sticky kisses down the side of his alpha's jaw and sucked a rosy mark into his scent gland, enjoying the heady taste of velvet roses spreading onto his tongue like oil on water. He continued his messy kisses down to the collar of Victor's shirt before pulling it off the alpha and standing, cocking his hip, with his ruined, soaking wet panties tangled at the top of his thighs while his soft dick stuck out of the waistband and his plush ass hung over the back, "Take your pants off, Vitya." 

Victor didn't think he had ever been quicker to comply with a direct order from anyone in his entire life. He pushed his pants and underwear down to the floor and settled onto the bed, knotted cock still standing proudly.  

"You made quite a mess, Vitya," Yuuri purred, before pulling his panties off and stuffing them into the alpha's open, heart-shaped mouth, "I guess I'll have to clean you up."  

The omega was blushing, his chest was darkening crimson as were his ears, but he spoke and carried himself confidently-it was beautiful, and was quickly bringing the alpha to utter ruin. He groaned around the wet panties in his mouth, sucking at the silk to draw away the omega's delicious, sugary slick, mind completely jumbled with candied apples dripping and burning their way through his senses.  

The omega straddled the alpha, facing his knotted erection, and placing his soaking hole directly in Victor's face. Victor moaned loudly, spitting the panties from his mouth, and muttered what sounded almost like a quick prayer, before pushing upwards and burying his face into Yuuri's dripping backside. He nosed against the slick slit and pressed his tongue upwards, trying to get as much of the sweet slick into his mouth as possible.  

While Victor enthusiastically ate Yuuri out the omega bent forward and began to clean the semen off the alpha's dick and knot with his tongue in long licks and sucks. He massaged Victor's knot with his hands and swallowed his plush cockhead, quickly bringing the alpha to another orgasm, which the omega swallowed greedily, licking remnants of the white seed from the corners of his plump lips like a cat cleaning their whiskers after drinking a bowl of milk.  

Victor was moaning loudly, muffled by Yuuri's thick thighs bracketing his head, burying his face as deeply into the omega as he could. His tongue pressed into the omega's hole hard, curling at the bumpy pucker and Yuuri suddenly felt the additional pressure of some of the alpha's fingers at his rim and his slit started fluttering and spasming in an anal orgasm so powerful it punched the breath from his lungs and he practically fell onto the alpha's face, which was still buried in Yuuri's ass. He had never experienced just an anal orgasm before, without his dick shooting ejaculate at the same time-it was amazing.  

Yuuri pulled himself off of Victor and turned around, curling himself up into the alpha's chest, and started purring blissfully. He felt so sated, so gorgeous, and for the first time, he really felt like the most beautiful woman in town-strong, powerful, and confident.  

*~~~* 

They went down to dinner after cleaning up and ignored the disgusted glares Yuri was shooting in their direction. The young alpha still had his makeup on and Hiroko was cooing over how pretty he looked while the blonde was grumbling under the attention, but he still couldn’t hide the small smile quirking the corners of his painted lips up at the praise.  

After dinner, Yuri and Yuuri were sitting around the table discussing the skating event the next day when they suddenly realized they didn't have any costumes to wear for the competition. But Victor perked up and chirped that he had brought all of his old skating costumes to Japan with him from Russia, and that they could choose from them.  

Victor followed Yuuri as the omega practically ran down the hall to the banquet room where Victor's boxes were still packed up next to his large bed. They drug the boxes with the costumes into a small, unused room off of the banquet room and started unpacking them, and hanging them on the pop-up, travel clothing racks that, of course, Victor had packed with the costumes in the boxes. He watched, flattered, while Yuuri fawned over all of the costumes, muttering to himself in excited Japanese and sometimes in English, listing the performance each costume was from reverently.  

His omega was so adorable! What an utter sweetheart, to even remember all of that, from before Victor was really famous. Yuuri even knew all of the costumes and performances from Victor's junior days. His omega had always seen him, known him, he had never really been alone, even when he had felt his lowest. Victor walked over behind Yuuri and wrapped his arms around the omega, squeezing tightly in affection, and brushed small kisses over his reddening, blushing ears.  

Yuuri suddenly held up a black mesh costume, decorated with large, asymmetrical crystals, and flared at the waist with a short, half-shirt, the underside of which was crimson. "This is from the Junior World Championship." Yuuri stated excitedly, eyes looking a little sparkly and dewy as he admired the pretty costume in his hands.  

"Ah, I had long hair at the time, so my costume suggested both male and female genders at once." Victor fondly remembered, that was before he had cut his hair and tried to play up being more masculine for his exes. He had not felt so himself since then, until now, as Yuuri was bringing more and more of the alpha's true self to the surface.  

"I choose this one!" Yuuri said firmly, confidently, while practically hopping in place in his excitement. Victor felt his heart squeeze in his chest, he loved this omega so much. Of course, he would pick this costume, that was so integral a part of the alpha's past, of his true self, and use it as a part of the omega's own journey to find his inner Eros, a part of his inner self. He needed to marry this boy.  

Yuri held up a white, sparkly costume that was more mesh and crystals than anything else, and decided to use it for Agape. Victor grumbled a bit, it was a see-through costume from his junior days and he wasn't sure he felt comfortable with Yuri displaying so much of himself on the ice. But Yuuri cheerfully told the young alpha how great he would look in it, and that was that, Victor didn't want to go against his mate in this.  

*~~~* 

They were all settled for bed, curled into their nest together. Yuri had been grumpily tucked in by Yuuri, who pretended he didn't see how the young alpha had stolen one of the omega's sweatshirts to ball up and cuddle with in bed, enjoying the maternal scent lingering on the fabric. He also didn't mention that he noticed how one of Victor's scarves was poking out from beneath Yuri's pillow-apparently both of their scents were comforting to the young alpha in the night.  

Victor was almost asleep, purring in content while wrapped around his mate, when he felt Yuuri shifting around before quietly leaving the nest and moving around the room in the dark.  

"Yura? Wha's goin' on?" Victor whispered tiredly, barely coherent. 

"Shh, Vicchan, go back to sleep. I'm just going to the dance studio for a bit. I'll be back in a couple of hours." 

"You need sleep too," the alpha grumbled before pushing his face into the omega's fragrant pillow and sighing deeply, already falling back into a twilight slumber.   

"I love you, Vicchan," Yuuri whispered, petting the alpha's pretty, silver hair before leaving for Minako's apartment.  

He knew how to look like the most beautiful woman in town. He knew how to feel like the most beautiful woman in town. Now he wanted to make sure he knew how to move, how to dance, how to skate, like the most beautiful woman in town. He knocked on Minako's door, waking her from her sleep.  

"Minako-sensei, I need you to teach me something. I want you to teach me how to move in feminine ways. Trying to be the playboy isn't me! I want to be the most beautiful woman in town, who seduces the playboy! I won't drastically change any moves, but I think this is a lot closer to how I feel." 


	28. Compass Turn 1: Frozen On Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri and Victor struggle with their emotions the night before the Onsen on Ice Competition. Yuuri and Victor claim Yuri as their pup. Yuri makes an important decision about his future after losing at the Onsen on Ice Competition. 
> 
> “Compass Turn: MODERN/JAZZ DANCE: Like an arabesque turn, but the toes stay in contact with the floor." 
> 
> Songs:
> 
> Winter by Tori Amos  
> Landslide by Dixie Chicks  
> Smother Me by The Used  
> Girl On Fire by Alicia Keys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Please note: There is a mention of Yuri being an emancipated minor in this chapter. I’m not sure how that works in Russia, so I’m going roughly with the concept of how it works in the States, and keeping it vague. 
> 
> CHAPTER WARNINGS:
> 
> Anxiety  
> Cussing  
> Self-Depreciating thoughts  
> Mentions of past child abuse  
> Mentions of past parental death  
> Biting/Marking  
> Mentions of blood

Yuri was quietly panicking. He knew it was stupid. So fucking stupid. And he hated himself for thinking it might work in the first place, but even the scented clothing items he had furtively stolen from Yuuri and Victor's rooms weren't helping him to calm down, though he had his whole face buried in them and was crying so hard he couldn't even inhale right anymore.

  
He was having one of those moments in life where he truthfully didn't quite know how or why he had gotten himself into the difficult situation he was facing, but he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was all his fault because he was nothing but a huge fuck up. Really though, how had everything come to this?

  
He had pushed, pushed, pushed Victor and Yuuri into this stupid competition, and he had wanted his way, he had wanted Victor to return to Russia with him, so he could feel like everything was back to some form of okay, some form of his normal again, but he knew Victor wouldn't return no matter what the outcome of the competition was tomorrow-and that really fucking hurt.

  
He had pushed, pushed, pushed Yuuri to compete against him, to-he didn't even really know-to prove his worth? To prove a point? Fighting for the sake of fighting, because he didn't know how to do anything else? He didn't fucking know, but now he would be in a direct competition against someone who he didn't really want to examine his feelings for too closely. Yuuri was a good person. Yuri felt happy, he felt safe, when Yuuri was around. Yuuri made him smile. Yuuri...felt like...maybe he could be Yuri's dam. And maybe Yuri could have an okay life with Yuuri and Victor. But now he was pushing Yuuri away by forcing him to compete in this dumb competition, he just knew it.

  
He was pushing both Victor and Yuuri away from him, and it hurt, he was hurting himself. It all hurt. Everything hurt. He couldn't stop crying. And he hated himself in that moment, because he knew everything that had brought him to this, was all his fault. He shoved his face deeper into Yuuri and Victor's clothing and tried to muffle his sobs, fists clenching as he internally berated himself for being such an idiot. He just didn't know how to fix this, how to fix any of this, everything he had broken beyond repair.

  
*~~~*

  
Victor woke himself up screaming, alone, in the mating nest on his bed. He had woken from a terrible nightmare. Normally, his nightmares involved him being left, abandoned and alone, by everyone in his life. Recently, his nightmares had featured his Yuuri, his mate, leaving him alone, or he found himself in a life where he had never met Yuuri at all. And that already was enough to shake him awake yelling. But this nightmare, tonight, it had truly been horrific. Yuri, the teen who Victor was quickly coming to see as his own pup, and Yuuri, his mate, had both left him, together, because he was such a failure.

  
He had been very stressed leading up to the competition, especially in the most recent day. He worried he had allowed Yuri to push them all into this, not taking a firm hand of direction with the stubborn, angry teen. He worried that Yuuri would not be able to handle his nerves around the sudden competition with such little prep time, and that he would perform poorly and damage his already fragile self-esteem.

  
He worried that Yuri would leave and go back to Russia when everything was done, angry and hurt that Victor wouldn't return with him. He didn't want to have to choose between his mate and his pup, but he knew if he had to, he would choose Yuuri; just because Yuuri needed him more right now, with his anxiety and self-confidence issues in performing. Yuuri needed Victor with him, to remain as his coach, to bring him to the Grand Prix Final. Victor didn't know what to do. He didn't know how to fix the rising tension clamoring in his mind and his chest. If he were a better alpha, a better mate, a better sire, then he wouldn't even have allowed his little family, his pack, to get into this situation in the first place.

  
And Victor really was alone. Yuuri wasn't there to calm his shaking, his ragged breathing. The omega must still be out practicing. Victor got up from the nest, heading to the communal bathroom shared by the members of the Katsuki family in their wing of the Inn, to splash some water on his face in an effort to calm himself down. When he slid open the door to his bedroom, he was hit with the sour, acidic scent of fear, anxiety, and grief, clouding thickly in the hallway.

  
Victor's eyes watered and he coughed at the bitterness and strength of the scent clouding around, it smelled like sulphur and dull, burned ash. His heart was pounding, adrenalin rushing through him at the strong smell, his instincts hammering at his consciousness telling him to do something, anything, to stop the scent pervading his senses.

  
This wasn't Yuuri; when the omega was upset, it smelled like rotten apples or fruit, bitter but with the discomfort of overt-sweetness hanging around. This had to be Yuri. Yuri normally smelled like a comforting campfire, woody and musky, warm and sparking with energy. Victor didn't think he had ever smelled fear, anxiety, and grief-utter desperation-from the young alpha before. Anger, sure, every day. Upset, yes. This? This despair? Never before.

  
Victor ran to Yuri's room and opened the door, calling out for the young alpha, fearing something must be seriously wrong to bring about this reaction.

  
Yuri was face down in his bed, curled up around a pillow while his face was stuffed against some balled-up, wrinkled clothing. It sounded like he was crying now that Victor was in the room.

  
"Yuranya, honey, what's wrong?"

  
But Yuri only curled himself further away from the alpha's reaching hands, refusing to speak through his crying.

  
"Oh, Yuranya, come here sweetheart," Victor whispered, reaching his hands out to pet the teen's tangled hair and rub his back.

  
After several minutes Yuri calmed his crying enough to be able to get some words out past hiccupping breaths, "I-I fucked e-everything up, a-and I c-can't fix any-anything, and it's a-all just s-so stupid."

  
"Honey, I'm sure you didn't mess everything up, and whatever is wrong we can fix it. Everything will be okay, just tell me what's wrong, and we'll make it better."

  
But Yuri stiffened at Victor's placating words, and spit through gritted teeth, "You c-can't just come in like a fucking knight on a w-white horse, and make all this shit better! It doesn't work like that, Vitya! Not for now, for all the bullshit tomorrow, and n-not f-for before, f-for my fucked childhood!"

  
Victor stilled his hands and tried to reply calmly, Yuri's words hurt, but he knew the teen was speaking in anger, and that it was skewing his true feelings.

  
"I'm not saying I can make everything from the past better, that I can make all of the hurt go away. But I can try to make things better in the future, so that you don't have to hurt like this. I don't want you to hurt, Yuranya, I love you so much. I wish you could love yourself like I love you, I wish you could see what a wonderful person you are, and how special you are to me and Yuuri."

  
"Everything's changing so fast," Yuri whispered, voice cracking now that the hiccups had subsided.

  
Victor's heart broke for the teen. Yuri was still so young. It was easy to forget just how young the alpha was because he was such a strong person, and presented himself so aggressively, refusing any and all help in public. But Yuri was a child. He was a child playing dress-up in an adult world, really. Victor wanted to protect him, wanted to give him some happiness in life-he loved the teen, as if he were his own family, his own blood, his pup.

  
"Tell me what's changed, Yuranya," Victor asked calmly, hands picking back up and working their way softly through the tangles in Yuri's hair.

  
"You left Russia."

  
"Yes, I did, and I know now that was a selfish mistake, to not tell you where I was going, and to not invite you to come with me. You were still living in the dorms by Yubileyny, and I didn't think about it when I was packing up my apartment. I'm sorry, Yuranya, truly I am, I didn't think and I hurt you, and I'm so sorry."

  
"You're not going to come back to Russia."

  
"Not right away, not after the competition tomorrow. Yuuri needs me as his coach more than you do, Yuranya. You have more confidence in your skating then he does, and he needs my support. Yakov is a good coach to you Yuri, he will not do wrong by you in skating. But you don't have to go back to Russia, nobody is forcing you to go. We don't want you to go."

  
"I'm an emancipated minor, I don't even think Grandpa has custody over me. But I want to keep skating."

  
"Nobody is asking you to give up skating, honey, we'd never do that!"

  
"Then what would happen if I stayed here? Who would coach me?"

  
"Well, I could coach you and Yuuri both. Real coaches often have multiple students, do they not?"

  
"You'd coach me?"

  
"Yes."

  
"You want to coach me?"

  
"Yes, of course sweetheart."

  
"Are you going to keep being disgusting? With all those dumbass pet names? And all over Katsudon all the time?"

  
"Most likely."

  
"I guess I'll think about it."

  
"Thank you, Yuranya, that's all I ask. I don't want you to return to Russia, if you do go back, feeling anything less than loved and wanted."

  
"And...what about Yuuri?"

  
"What about me, Yuri?" Yuuri spoke softly, letting himself into the room.

  
Yuri and Victor both jumped a bit, startled at the sudden presence of the omega. Yuuri quickly crossed the room and joined Victor where he was sitting on Yuri's bed.

  
"I came back from practicing and everything smelled so horrible in the hallway and Vicchan wasn't in our nest, what's wrong? What happened?”

  
Yuri looked down at his lap in the dark, fidgeting with his fingers, not willing to speak up.

  
"Yuranya said he was not feeling well because a lot is changing in his life, and it's changing very fast."

  
"Oh, I understand, Yuri. You know, change upsets me too. Especially when I feel like I'm not in control of the changes happening in my life. But we can talk about whatever changes are upsetting you and figure it all out, yes?"

  
"Vitya said something like that," Yuri mumbled, feeling shame and anger well up inside, he felt like such an idiot for causing all of this drama in the middle of the fucking night.

  
Yuuri reaching out to the sulky teen and cooed softly, "Baby, shh, there's nothing to be upset about, it's all going to be okay. Vicchan and I are here for you, we love you, and we'll figure everything out."

  
"Baby?"

  
Yuuri blinked, feeling suddenly shy, "I'm sorry if I overstepped, Yuri, I just...I just, feel..." Yuuri felt like his tongue was sticking to the roof of his mouth, he couldn't quite find his words for what he was trying to express.

  
"It's okay, it's fine," Yuri mumbled.

  
"So, what did you want to ask about me, earlier?"

  
"Vitya said I could stay here, in Japan. He said he would coach both of us. But..."

  
"But...?"

  
"But, do you want that? Want me to stay here, I mean? Do you want to share your coach with me?"

  
Yuuri smiled gently, he scooted closer to Yuri and grabbed one of the small alpha's damp hands into his own, "Yuri, I always want you to stay with us. I hope you do."

  
Yuri didn't make eye contact with the omega, he dropped his head and his shoulders sagged, almost in relief, like all the tension he had been holding inside of his small frame had been released, "Thanks, Katsudon.”

Yuri sighed, then huffed and let himself fall back with a thump into his bed, "Ugh, I feel so fucking stupid!"

  
"There's nothing to feel stupid about, Yuri, I promise you," Yuuri comforted.

  
Yuuri looked at Victor, and motioned the alpha to lay down beside Yuri while he scooted onto the other side of the teen, so they were bracketing him in the bed.

  
"Yuck, get off me, I'm not cuddling you, Vitya!" Yuri grumped while Yuuri scooted behind the teen and looped his arms easily around the small alpha's chest, pulling him back into his embrace and cuddling him gently.

  
"Ack! I'm not cuddling you either, Katsudon, go away!" Yuri squirmed in Yuuri's arms, only sighing in exasperation when his distraction allowed Victor to scoot up to his front and wrap his arms around Yuri and Yuuri both in a big hug.

  
"But Yuranya, how will I go back to sleep without cuddles?"

  
"Get them from Katsudon, you weirdo, and leave me alone!"

  
Yuuri laughed and cooed playfully, "Shh, Baby, it's sleep time now," before nuzzling against the nape of the young alpha's neck, right where a sire and dam's familial marks would be, in a comforting gesture-it was the quickest way to calm a young child, rubbing against their familial marks. But Yuuri stiffened suddenly in shock and brought his hand up to run his fingers over the nape of Yuri's neck in the dark, trying to confirm what he had already felt when he had cuddled up to the young alpha a moment before.

  
Yuri jerked himself out of Yuuri's arms, "Yuuri, stop, I don't-I can't-" Yuri babbled in a sudden panic while Victor tried to ask what was wrong when Yuuri made a low noise of sadness in the dark room.

  
Victor could feel Yuri's breaths puffing against his face quickly, and started to ask what was wrong again when Yuuri spoke, "Yuri, w-where's your familial marks? They're...they're not there, there's nothing there."

  
Victor felt a jolt like an electrical shock snap through him, mind reeling with the memories of Yuri with short hair, always wearing high-necked clothing, Yuri growing his hair out and not wearing it up very often; and when he did wear it up or allowed someone to braid it, he always seemed to be wearing a high-necked clothing item, or a scarf, or something. Victor had never seen the back of Yuri's neck uncovered.

  
"Yuranya, you don't have any familial marks?" Victor croaked, feeling his heart shatter in his chest. Nobody had loved Yuri enough to claim him as their own, as their pup. Only unwanted children, or children whose parents didn't live long enough after their birth to claim them went without familial marks. It was the ultimate symbol of abandonment in a child-being unclaimed by their sire and dam. Poor Yuri, Victor had never known, and even if he had he didn't know what he would have done about it, but helping in any way would be better than the young teen suffering like this alone, truly alone.

  
Victor reflexively ran his hand over his own familial marks on the nape of his neck, feeling the twin crescent scars, raised in bumpy ridges, overlapping around the edges. When a sire claimed their pup, they put a little of their venom into the mark, so their pup would always have a hint of their sire's scent on them, marking them. A dam would then mark the pup as well, with their blunt teeth, the mark a symbol of their love and care for their child.

  
"Baby-" Yuuri breathed out, sounding seconds away from crying, sounding hollowed out, empty, and Victor felt the same-broken for their Yuri.

  
"It's...it's fine. It doesn't matter. My...my sire didn't want to, a-and, my dam, she never did before she passed away...I don't know why...but I'm fine. Please, please d-don't make a big deal out of it, I can't..."

  
But Yuri hurt. He hurt badly. He felt like old wounds in his chest that he had forcibly ignored, numbed at the edges for years, were all ripping open, gashed and bleeding, aching in pain. It didn't matter how often over the years he had told himself he didn't care. It didn't matter how he could sometimes forget he didn't belong to anyone, or pretend that he did, he knew now, he remembered, he was nothing, and he didn't belong to anybody.

  
He thought he could have belonged to Yuuri and Victor, he knew he loved them, even if he couldn’t admit it. He knew they loved him too. He knew it wouldn't be the same as having real parents who loved him. He knew them loving him couldn’t fix the hurts of his past. But...he could have belonged to them, he wanted to belong to them...except, now they knew the horrible truth, that he was an abandoned, unwanted nobody. How could they want him now? He could never belong to anybody.

  
Yuri was shaken out of his spiraling thoughts when he smelled sweet fruit scenting the air, clouding around him...Yuuri smelled, possessive? Determined? What?

  
"Baby, this is going to hurt, because I'm an omega, and my teeth are blunt. So, try to hold still, alright?"

  
"What? Y-Yuuri? What are you doing?"

  
Yuuri leaned forward, brushing his lips at the base of Yuri's neck, and whispered, "You're mine, Baby, I'm going to let the world know you're mine," squeezing Victor's hand while he spoke.

  
Victor squeezed his mate's hand back. He knew they had a long way to go together, before they finished courting and bonded formally by marking each other's scent glands high on their throats...but Yuri, their pup, he was missing the most basic, the most primal of connections, and Victor felt the same way as his mate-they couldn’t leave the young teen alone and abandoned for one more day. He was their’s, and they would show him how much they really meant that, how much they cared for him.

  
Yuri squeaked and threw himself into Victor's tight grip, where his arms wrapped firmly around the young alpha, holding him steady. Yuri pushed his face into Victor's neck, muffling his senses with the older alpha's scent of soft roses, and gritted his teeth to try and brace himself for the pain to come. Yuri nodded against Victor's neck and Yuuri snapped forward, biting into the nape of Yuri's neck hard, until his blunt, omegan teeth were buried deep into the young alpha's flesh.

  
Yuuri pulled back and licked the weeping blood from the wound his teeth had left, cleaning the fresh mark. He nuzzled Yuri's shoulder and purred lowly, happy, and so full of love for his pup, for their pup, "You did so well, Baby, you were so brave,” Yuuri cooed.

Yuri sniffled a bit, embarrassedly feeling tears well up, not from the pain of the bite but from...from the big, tangled ball of hot, heavy emotions wrapped around his insides. He had never felt wanted like this before. Even his Grandpa hadn't marked him in place of his parents. He...he had parents who loved him, who wanted him now.

  
Yuuri hushed Yuri's quiet cries, and urged the teen to roll over into his arms, facing him, while Victor nudged himself up behind Yuri in the bed.

  
Victor felt his gums prick and sting as his fangs extended, his mouth was full of venom, and his throat was starting to burn as he swallowed more and more of it. His instincts were urging him, possessing him-he needed to mark his pup. His omega had marked their pup, and he had done such a good job, and now it was his turn.

  
Victor sank his fangs into the nape of Yuri's neck, close enough to Yuuri's mark that the healed scars would overlap a bit, but would remain distinctly unique as well on the alpha's neck. He let his venom push into the young alpha's flesh, permanently marking their pup with his scent-causing his campfire smell to turn ever so slightly with the muted musk of warm roses, blooming into the hot sun, opening and fanning their petals to the heat.

  
He pulled back from the shaking teen, licking over his mark to soothe the burn of the venom and clean the dripping blood.

  
"Thank you, Yuranya, for making me a sire," Victor husked into the dark, wrapping Yuri and Yuuri into his arms again.

  
"Thank you, Baby, for making me a dam," Yuuri whispered to Yuri.

  
"I-I love you b-both," Yuri managed to choke out, but that was all he could say, before burying his face back into Yuuri's neck and shaking as the venom burned into his skin.

  
Victor and Yuuri kept the young alpha wrapped tightly in their arms through the rest of the night, and no one woke up from nightmares, and no one cried anymore.

  
*~~~*

  
The next day, they didn't talk about what had happened the night before. Before Yuuri and Yuri parted to put on their respective costumes and get ready for the competition, Yuuri brought Hiroko up to the young alpha's room with a first-aid kit. Hiroko directed Yuuri in Japanese while the omega cleaned and bandaged the twin bites on the nape of Yuri's neck, ringed with fresh bruises. The omega rubbed a mixture of Arnica and Lidocaine creams around the bites so the bruising and soreness would heal quickly and the ache would be numbed for Yuri's skating performance.

  
Hiroko didn't say anything to Yuri directly but after Yuuri thanked her and left the room, she turned to Yuri and gathered the young alpha into her arms tightly, squeezing him and whispering to him in happy Japanese.

  
"Family, you are my family now, little one," Hiroko managed in English, patting Yuri's cheeks with the warmest smile lighting up her brown eyes, before she left the room as well.

  
*~~~*

  
Yuuri put on some makeup, mainly dark, thick mascara paired with some light blush, and let Victor comb his hair back from his face before covering his costume with his Japan Skating Federation tracksuit and preparing to leave for Ice Castle.

  
Yuri found Yuuri before leaving the Inn to ask the omega to comb out his hair so it would lay smooth, covering any part of the bandage on the back of his neck that the collar on his costume wouldn't.

  
They left the Inn and arrived at Ice Castle together. It was a media circus when they arrived. There were so many people! And so many reporters as well!

  
Hisashi Morooka interviewed Yuuri and Yuri, and the young alpha winced when he noticed how nervous the omega appeared, babbling, and anxiously saying something about encouraging people to visit the hot springs. Yuri put his game face on, shuttering down his expression, and answered the reporter's questions with a flat-toned response, stating surely that he would win the competition.

  
Suddenly, Victor wandered by and the reporter called out to ask the alpha a question and Yuri wanted to facepalm. Somehow, the alpha had gotten himself into a blue yukata and was holding a bunch of tourist things up, chattering on about visiting the town of Hasetsu.

  
When they had made their way to the locker-room, and Victor had changed back into his regular clothes, Yuuri reminded Victor that he would really have to grant the wish of the winner for the competition.

  
Yuri scoffed when Victor’s face registered surprise; but really, with everything that had happened in the short week leading up to this all, and especially with all that had transpired just the night before, how could Victor have possibly remembered the frivolous premise of this entire competition in the first place?

  
Victor honestly didn’t want to remember. He thought things might be different now that Yuuri and he had marked Yuri as their pup. He hoped Yuri didn’t still want to go back to Russia and bring Victor with him, not caring if Yuuri joined them or not; or worse, wanting Yuuri to not join them at all. He wasn’t sure what the mercurial, young alpha would want as his wish if he won this competition, but he truly hoped it could be something he could and would grant, something that allowed them to stay together as a family.

  
Sooner than he would have thought, it was Yuri’s turn on the ice.

  
Yuri was beautiful. He looked like a dancing angel. Victor felt pride bursting inside of him-he had taught Yuri how to dance like that, how to fly like an angel across the ice, wreathed in silver light. And for the first half of Yuri’s performance, Victor could really see the teen’s true Agape shining through his movements. He selfishly and privately hoped that he and Yuuri were a part of Yuri’s thoughts now when he thought of his Agape; but whatever Yuri was thinking of, whomever he was thinking of, Victor could see the pure vision of Agape dancing before him.

  
And then, the second half of the program came and Yuri lost his grasp on the clarity, the stillness, and the innocence of his Agape. Victor could see the moment the teen lost it, like a switch shutting off and plunging a room into darkness. The program he had choreographed was very technically difficult and exhausting, and he could tell that while Yuri was performing the movements accurately, he was now moving robotically through the dance, all of the feeling dropping his limbs like lead to the ice-he was clearly just trying to get through the program before he fell in overexertion.

  
Still though, Yuri was skating the program beautifully, that could not be denied. His technical movements were correct and his skill shined in his performance. But the beautiful Agape flowing through his dance had gone. Though, if Yuri stayed with Victor as his coach, he knew how he could help the teen develop his skills, his performance abilities, to stay connected to his feelings throughout his entire routine. In his mind, he was already working through exercises and activities to help Yuri with this-Victor hoped Yuri stayed with them. He wasn’t even sure what would happen to them all emotionally if the teen chose to separate from them so soon after a familial bonding bite was made-traditionally it was done on very young babies, not on teens. And babies rarely separated from their parents for years after they were bonded, apart from short separations of a day or so.

  
Yuri finished his performance, and he was gasping for breath on the ice. He looked alone out there and Victor rushed to the teen as he skated to the barrier, encouraging him and saying, “Yurio, that was the best performance I’ve seen from you so far! Go on and greet the audience!” And he meant it, Yuri’s performance had been lovely.

  
When Victor turned to Yuuri, to tell him it was his turn out on the ice, his heart lurched into his throat. His mate whimpered as he gasped a deep breath in and covered his mouth. Victor wished he could say or do something to take the omega’s anxieties away. The alpha could smell his omega’s anxieties clear as day, curling into the air with overt, rotting sweetness, and it made his stomach clench-he wanted to help his mate, wanted to make all of his troubles melt away; but life wasn’t that easy. Victor knew this was a fight Yuuri needed to win on his own, he needed to prove to himself that he could overcome his own doubts and be stronger for it. Victor believed in the omega so fervently, had such confidence in him, he only wished Yuuri could feel that for himself.

  
“U-Um, I’m...I’m going to become a super tasty pork cutlet bowl, so please watch me!” Yuuri stuttered, focused on Victor’s face while the alpha could see the omega’s body minutely shivering with nerves. The omega reached forward and hugged Victor to him, crying, “Promise!”

  
Victor tried to remain as calm as possible, wanting to remain a firm, steady presence for the nervous skater before him, “Of course. I love pork cutlet bowls.” Victor reassured his omega, willing his mate to feel his confidence in him.

  
When Yuuri took to the ice, he moved his body fluidly as the opening notes of Eros played out sensually, twanging passionately.

  
*~~~*

  
_“Who am I dancing for? I know who.”_

  
*~~~*

  
The omega looked right at Victor, making heavy eye contact with the alpha, and Victor gulped, feeling his venom glands twinge at the raw sexuality suddenly pouring off of the Japanese skater. He whistled in response, not entirely sure he was ready to fall under Yuuri’s thrall like this in public. He would have to be careful, there were children present, after all.

But oh, Yuuri looked gorgeous. His eyelashes were accentuated with mascara and his cheeks blushed coquettishly. The way he moved his body, he really was Eros personified. Yuuri was absolutely the most beautiful woman in town. Victor couldn’t put his finger on what exactly was different about how Yuuri was performing the dance of Eros this time, but he was moving differently, acting differently...perhaps this is what he had been learning during his late night practice.

  
When he put his hand down onto the ice and stepped out of a quadruple salchow, Victor couldn’t even find it in himself to care all that much. He had technical criticisms of Yuuri’s performance, sure, but he couldn’t look away from the gorgeous omega dancing sensually across the ice. He was utterly enthralled. He wanted to get to his knees for this beautiful omega. He wanted to lick his omega’s skates clean, cut his lips on the lacing grommets of Yuuri’s skate boots. Victor wanted to crawl his unworthy way up Yuuri’s legs with his bloodied lips, begging for the priveledge of brushing his hands and mouth upon Yuuri’s bare skin.

  
*~~~*

  
_“I’m better than any other woman out there. You ask why?”_

  
*~~~*

  
Yuuri was ruining him. Had ruined him. Victor would never, ever want another like this. He would have no other lover, no other mate, for the rest of his days. No one could embody Eros like this breathtaking omega in front of him.

  
Victor barely noticed Yuri leaving the rink side, during Yuuri’s last spin.

  
As soon as Yuuri stepped off the ice, Victor met him right at the barrier, cheering his enchanting omega before wrapping him in a big hug, “Yuuri! That was the tastiest pork cutlet bowl I’ve ever seen! Wonderful!”

  
Victor felt so happy and relieved for his mate, Yuuri had made it through Eros, and not just that, but he had performed Eros gorgeously, erotically, perfectly.

  
Once he was done hugging and squeezing his sweaty omega, he started chattering to Yuuri about his technical flaws and where he needed to improve before he forgot anything in the whirlwind of the excitement around them.

  
Yuuri had won the competition, in a clear victory. He had truly embodied the theme of his performance, Eros, while Yuri had lost his Agape towards the second half of his program. Yuri’s performance was more technically accurate, but Victor was judging based on performance, emotion, and the ability to connect with the assigned theme; and Yuuri had performed Eros so very passionately.

  
Once the podium was set up in the middle of the ice, for the brief awarding ceremony for their small competition, Victor followed Yuuri to the center block and stood by his shoulder, bursting with pride for his mate. Yuuri had overcome his anxiety and skated wonderfully, very in sync with the theme of Eros. Victor happily picked up a beautiful bouquet of roses someone had tossed onto the ice and laid it in his mate’s arms. Yuuri always looked so lovely with flowers, holding them, wearing them, their vibrant colors brought out the warmth in his eyes, the blush on his cheekbones.

  
Victor was very worried that Yuri seemed to have disappeared but couldn’t go looking for the teen until Yuuri had spoken to the press about his win. He could hear his mate faltering a bit with the microphone, likely nervous at addressing such a large crowd. Victor wrapped his arm around the omega’s shoulders and squeezed him in tight to the side of his body in proud assurance, and Yuuri stood straighter and spoke surely into the microphone, “I’m going to try and win the next Grand Prix Final with Victor! Thank you for your continued support!”

  
Victor thought his heart would burst with pride for his mate. He couldn’t stop squeezing the omega to him, unable to verbally express just how proud of Yuuri he was.

  
When they left the ice and went to the locker-room so Yuuri could change before heading back to the Inn for a celebratory dinner of Katsudon with their family and friends, they found Yuri, wearing his tracksuit over his costume, curled up in a ball, on a bench.

  
Victor breathed a sigh of relief, he was so glad they had found the teen. But, his heart ached for Yuri-he had lost. He felt so torn, he hadn’t wanted Yuuri or Yuri to lose, but alas, it had been a competition, and one of them had to lose while one won. And now what would happen? Would Yuri leave them and return to Russia? He shuddered to even think of the possibility, it made sickness roll through his gut to imagine his pup being so far away from him and his mate, when their bond was so new. But Yuri had the right to decide his future for himself, Victor and Yuuri wouldn’t force him to stay in Japan with them.

  
“Yurio, you missed the award ceremony,” Victor started softly, while Yuuri went and sat next to the teen on the bench.

  
“There was no award for the loser today, and I knew I’d lost before Katsudon was even done skating,” Yuri tried to shrug casually, but his sulking frown showed his true feelings.

  
“I know what my wish is, since I’m the winner. Don’t you want to know, Yuri?” Yuuri chirped, patting Yuri on the back with a smile.

  
“What?” Yuri grumbled half-heartedly.

  
“I wish for us all to stay together. If you want us to go to Russia with you, we’ll go, we’ll make it work out. And if you want to stay in Japan, then we will stay here with you. I just want you to stay with us, Baby.”

  
Victor teared up and went over to grab his mate and pup in a hug. Yuuri always fixed everything, so simply, so perfectly. Victor had never even considered that Yuuri would be alright with moving to Russia with them all. This was he wouldn’t have to pick one over the other, he could stay with both his mate and his pup.

  
Yuri mumbled something into Victor’s shoulder, words muffled in the alpha’s sleeve.

  
“What, Yuranya?” Victor asked.

  
Yuri pulled back, “I said, obviously I’m going to stay with you losers here, in Japan. They have better fashion here, anyway. I just need my cat brought over with my stuff, and I’ll want to visit Grandpa every couple of months like I would see him when I lived in the dorms by Yubileyny. And...uh...you get to tell Yakov that you’re my coach now, I’m not dealing with that, you get to do that, Coach Vitya,” Yuri finished with a snort.

  
Victor groaned while Yuuri and Yuri laughed at him, “That’s not fair, Yurio! Yakov is already mad at me,” Victor whined.

  
That phone call with Yakov was not going to be fun.


	29. Compass Turn 2: Finding Our Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri's body changes due to maternal instincts, and, fearing rejection, he hides from Victor and Yuri. 
> 
> “Compass Turn: MODERN/JAZZ DANCE: Like an arabesque turn, but the toes stay in contact with the floor." 
> 
> Songs: 
> 
> Barely Listening by Pilot Speed  
> Trouble by Coldplay  
> The Hardest Part by Coldplay  
> Save Me by Aimee Mann  
> Jumper by Third Eye Blind  
> Parachutes by Coldplay  
> Talk by Coldplay  
> Girl and the Sea by The Presets  
> Into the Ocean by Blue October  
> All You Wanted by Michelle Branch  
> Here With Me by Dido  
> Fix You by Coldplay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNINGS:
> 
> Anxiety  
> Cussing  
> Self-Depreciating thoughts  
> Male Lactation  
> Breastfeeding

"Yakov, please..." 

"Vitya, just-I just don't know what to do with you anymore. I've clearly failed you. I thought I could be a parent to you and I was wrong. I've never been the role model you needed, and that's why you're running off now in whatever this is; Your version of a mid-life crisis only in your 20's. And that's all bad enough, but to bring Yuratchka into this...Victor, you've ruined that poor boy now. If you abandon him after this-" 

Victor's hand shook as he held onto the phone. He had been crying for several minutes now but was trying to control his breathing enough to not break into the great, gulping sobs he could feel well up in his throat. Why couldn't Yakov understand that they were his family now? His mate and pup? He could never, would never, ever abandon them.  

Yakov stopped his yelling tirade abruptly and cleared his throat, "Vitya, just, please just explain it to me. Do you need help? Do you need me to come and get you and Yuratchka? Vitya, you know I'll do anything to help you, I'll do anything to make things right for you. I love y-well, Vitya, you know how I feel about you. You'll always be my pup, even if I've failed you as a sire." 

Victor finally let loose a loud sob, "Yakov! Yakov, I love you, and you haven't failed me! You-you're the o-only sire I-I've ever really known, and I-I, y-you saved me when I had n-no one. Yura and Yuratchka, Yakov, they're my family too now. Yura really is my mate, he is. And Yuratchka is my pup, we marked him Yakov, both of us, he's ours. I won't ever abandon them. I won't get bored. I won't be flighty. I love them both so much, and I will take my responsibility seriously now I've found them both and they're in my life for good." 

"You already abandoned me and Yuratchka when you left for Japan, Vitya. I know this hurts you to hear, but it needs to be said; I think you've gotten yourself into a big mess and you've involved Yuratchka now and he's so young, Vitya. I want to come and save you, from yourself, if I have to; But I just don't know how to do that this time." 

"Yakov. I'm alright. Yuranya is alright. We are all going to be alright, together. I know Yuuri is my mate, he's my true mate, Yakov, whether you believe me or not. I know what I felt in Sochi. I had a reactionary rut, and Yuuri had a reactionary heat-we are true mates. Yuranya needed a sire and dam, he needed us, and we need him too. I want to stay with them both right now, we need to stay together as a family, and that means I stay in Japan with them because that's where they both have chosen to stay. Whatever you might think, Yuranya really did want this, he wanted us, and he chose us, and chose to stay in Japan with us."  

Yakov was silent as Victor paused his speech.  

"I know I haven't proven myself as a coach yet, but I really am trying, for them. I wish you could come to Japan to be with us too, but I know you have too many students to coach in Russia. And maybe we can move base to Russia in the future, and you can be Yuranya's coach again. But for now, in Japan, I'm going to coach them both Yakov. And I'm going to stay with them both. And I-I'd appreciate...it would mean the world to me-if-if you would support me, support all of us, in our decisions. Please, Yakov." 

"Yuri Plisetsky is an emancipated minor and can choose to live where he would like, and he may also choose who his coach is in skating, and who tutors him or where he attends school. I'm sure you're responsible enough to have thought of obtaining the appropriate paperwork for him to live, skate, and attend school in Japan. I know that he has already told his grandpa, as Nikolai called me last night to figure out arrangements for Yuri's things and Potya to be shipped off to Japan from the dorms." 

"Yakov, please, I-" 

"I hope you decide to stay in touch with me, Victor. It would be nice to hear from you, if for nothing else, just to know that you and Yuri are both still alright. And I hope your selfish games don't end up hurting all of you. I'm sure I'll always be here to pick up the pieces after you, but that's not something I can do today, not right now, at least." 

"Yakov-" 

"Goodbye, Victor." 

*~~~* 

[Picture of Yuri and Yuuri, sitting at a table in the public dining area of Yu-topia Katsuki. Yuuri is laughing while he tries to feed Yuri a bite of steamed vegetables from his chopsticks. Yuri's frowning and his nose is wrinkled, but his lips are curved as if he's holding back a smile.] 

v-nikiforov Now that the cat's out of the bag, or should I say: now that the ice kitten is here in Japan to stay, I'm happy to announce I will be coaching both Yuri and Yuuri for this skating season! Thank you for all of your support, everyone! <3 #myboys #podiumfamily #blessed #eatyourvegetablesyurio #icekitten #family #truelove #skatefam #yuriplisetsky #katsukiyuuri #visithasetsu 

yuri-plisetsky ICE TIGER, old man!!! 

phichit+chu Too much sweet to handle-look at my cinnamon roll son~ #toocuteforwords #blessed #katsukiyuuri 

victornikibae Victor, honey, you're better than this. Dump that fat omega and the asshole teen and come back home to Russia. I'm waiting for you, love <3   

christophe-gc Your family is beautiful, chérie xoxoxoxoxoxoxo 

stasstars I see you haven't changed, Vitya. Still a joke of an alpha. I'm shocked you could even get that omega cow in the picture. What a shame. I was thinking you looked pretty sexy in that video you uploaded to Lady Gaga the other day. Should have known you're still a dumb shit.    

biggestvnfan Victor!!! I wish you were skating this season!!! 

*~~~* 

Yuuri was dismantling their mating nest. He had torn it all down from Victor's bed and was washing all of the linens thoroughly while Yuri followed him around the Inn like a grumpy shadow.  

Victor was sitting in the middle of a circle of boxes on the floor of his room. He had unpacked almost everything, finally. They had taken the weekend and Monday and Tuesday off from training after the Onsen on Ice competition to get Yuri's paperwork sorted since he would be staying in Japan but still skating for Russia. They also had arranged for him to keep the same tutor he was schooling under in Russia; They would continue their lessons over Skype. Finally, they had worked with Yuri's grandpa to get Yuri's things express shipped to Japan (courtesy of Victor's credit cards) and were in the process of filing paperwork to have Potya brought to Japan too while trying to get the quarantine period skipped for the cat.  

Yuri had permanently taken over the small room down the hall from Victor and Yuuri's rooms, and Mari had the time of her life helping the teen to decorate the walls and ceiling artfully with band posters, cheetah and tiger printed fabrics, and tiny, cat string lights. Hiroko and Toshiya had both made it known to Victor and Yuri that they were overjoyed to welcome them into their family.  

Hiroko told Victor to please not send her any more money for their lodgings, as this was their home now, too. And she slyly asked when Yuuri would be joining Victor in the large banquet room he had claimed as his bedroom, since Yuuri's old bedroom was much too small for the mated couple. Toshiya cheerfully offered to begin moving Yuuri's things over but the omega had spluttered, blushing horribly, and told his parents that they wouldn't be moving anything until he and Victor had officially mated.  

Hiroko seemed to enjoy teasing Yuuri endlessly about 'putting the cart before the horse' with Victor-they had, after all, adopted a pup already, but weren't in fact officially mated, or engaged, or married-they didn't actually have a real label yet. Victor happily started shopping for wedding rings and a large stack of wedding magazines had mysteriously made their way to the side table in Victor's room-probably courtesy of Hiroko.  

But...Yuuri still hadn't given their romantic relationship an actual label yet. What were they even? Victor knew they were mates but Yuuri hadn't even asked about officially bonding yet. They had barely begun courting, Victor had yet to have the time to take Yuuri on an actual date, even. So, where did they stand, romantically? They somehow were parenting a teen pup now, and Victor had several wedding rings sitting in shopping carts on various websites, but...his Yuuri still seemed so reluctant anytime Victor spoke of their future too permanently.  

He didn't want to push. But what was holding Yuuri back from him? 

 _It hurt._  

But maybe it just hurt more than it usually would because Victor was sitting on the floor of his room, surrounded by these particular boxes. These boxes had the very few possessions Victor had from his biological sire and dam. They also had different things from his childhood and early teen years, from his time with Yakov and Lilia, and from his time in the dormitories.  

He could smell that he was beginning to stink the room up with the smell of soured, rotten roses. The innocuous ring of boxes surrounded him, and he didn't have the power to open them and face the painful memories the contents would bring to mind.  

"Vicchan, what's wrong?" 

Victor startled a bit and looked up at Yuuri's concerned face. The omega sat on the floor next to Victor and looked curiously at the remaining, unpacked boxes.  

"What are these?" 

"They're from my childhood," Victor mumbled-his lips felt numb, was that normal? 

"Oh, sweetheart," Yuuri whispered, not quite sure what he could do to help.  

Victor got up from the floor and turned to his bed, but Yuuri hadn't made it back up yet after dismantling and cleaning up their nest. He turned silently towards the bedroom door and left, trudging to Yuuri's room, and finding Makkachin asleep on top of the omega's bedspread. The alpha climbed onto the small bed and curled into a ball under the blanket, disturbing Makkachin when he pulled the poodle to his chest to bury his teary face in her soft curls.  

Yuuri pushed the boxes of Victor's family stuff into the bottom of the small, adjoining closet to Victor's room, which the alpha wasn't using because he had purchased a free-standing wardrobe to use instead. He found the alpha under the blankets on his bed, face stuffed into Makkachin's curls, and his shoulders were shaking like he was crying.  

Yuuri sat next to Victor on the bed and just rubbed the alpha's back in soothing circles, occasionally bringing his hand to pet through his silver hair too. Eventually, Victor cried himself to sleep against his poodle and Yuuri tucked his plush Olaf the snowman Victor had bought him during his menstrual cycle, and Victor's favorite, teal teddy bear that was a permanent resident in their mating nest against the alpha's back to comfort him and left the room. Yuuri made up Victor's large bed with plush, clean bedding and went to check on Yuri who had been talking with his grandpa on the phone after a morning of following Yuuri around.  

They had dinner and Victor was still sleeping upstairs with Makkachin. Hiroko was worried and sent Yuuri up with a tray of food. Yuuri woke the alpha up and fed him in bed.  

"Do you want to talk about it, sweetheart?" 

"No." 

When they went to bed that night, they slept in Victor's bed. The alpha curled himself around the omega and fell asleep with his nose buried against the omega's scent gland on his neck. When he shut his eyes and breathed Yuuri's scent in deep it was almost like he could be laying in an apple orchard, while warm sunshine lifted his spirits.  

But in the middle of the night Yuuri started to feel overheated and sweaty. He squirmed out of Victor's arms and tried to seek out a cool patch of bed sheets to settle on. Yuuri flipped his pillow to lay on the cool side and his face still felt flushed and sweaty. His chest hurt, it felt-tender? 

Suddenly a painful twinge went through both of his nipples at once. It felt like his nipples had been pinched.  

Over the past four days that they had been off from practice, Yuuri had noticed his hips ached, his chest had been sore, and he had been having hot flashes. His menstrual cycle wasn't due for another week or so and his heat wouldn't arrive until after that. What was going on? 

His nipples twitched, and Yuuri jolted when he felt warm fluid begin to run down his chest.  

The omega brought his hands to his sore nipples, under his shirt, and brushed against the swollen nubs lightly with the pads of his fingers. He almost yelped as they twitched again, sorely, and more, warm liquid squirted against his fingers. Yuuri brought a shaking hand to his mouth and licked some of the liquid off of his finger-it tasted like sugared milk.  

Yuuri's mind stopped working for a moment before it ratcheted into a panic-he was lactating?! He wasn't pregnant, he couldn't possibly be, as he and Victor hadn't had penetrative sex with Yuuri bottoming yet.  _What was happening to his body?_  

Yuuri left Victor's bedroom as quietly as he could and rushed to his own room. He booted up his laptop and immediately began searching for reasons behind omega lactation outside of pregnancy.  

 _Well._  

 _Shit._  

It turned out that if an omega bonded a pup, even a pup that wasn't biologically their own, their body would try to change to care for their pup, regardless of the pup's age. Yuuri would lactate for the foreseeable future it seemed, until his body and omegan instincts felt satisfied that his newly bonded pup, Yuri, would be alright without breastfeeding.  

Yuuri didn't even really know how to deal with this, how he felt about it. Currently, he felt like a disgusting freak. He put on a thick sweatshirt despite feeling like he was roasting in the thin pajamas he already had on and stuffed wads of tissues between his shirt and his sore nipples, which were still steadily leaking and squirting milk as his emotions cycled. Yuuri fell onto his bed and tried to sleep.  

Victor wasn't with him, he was in the other room. He was so, so hot. Makkachin had found him and curled up next to his back, and the large poodle was like a portable heater-drastically not helping Yuuri's situation.  

The omega snuck to the kitchen and grabbed some bags to fill with ice from the ice machine humming in the corner by their industrial freezer. Even with the icepacks tucked between his sweatshirt and t-shirt, Yuuri still felt hot, but not as bad as before. But he still couldn't sleep.  

He didn't know what to do. He ordered some thickly padded sports bras- _for the active, nursing omega_ -and some absorbent, lactation pads made from bamboo fiber to add to the sports bras if needed, to be overnight shipped discreetly to the Inn. He used his one, extremely high balanced credit card, not even sure if it would be declined or not, to purchase everything.  

He felt sticky and disgusting and... frightened. What if Victor thought he was disgusting? What if Victor wouldn't want to touch him now? Wouldn't want to share a bed now? And what if Yuri found out? Would the young alpha hate him? Never speak to him again?  

Now it was Yuuri's turn to cry himself to sleep. And he did.  

*~~~* 

The next morning, Yuuri woke up in a tangle of pajamas, melted icepacks, and bedding, with Makkachin still cuddled up next to him. He looked at the digital alarm clock on his nightstand and jolted out of bed. He must have slept through his phone alarms, because he hadn't managed to fall asleep until the early hours of the morning.  

His stomach sunk as he remembered why he was sleeping alone, and he tried to think of what he could do to hide his disgusting new bodily change for practice. He grabbed the leotard Victor had bought him and stuffed two folded washcloths into the chest liner sewn into the front of the leotard, directly over his nipples, which chafed painfully against the towels. Then he put on leggings and a long sleeve shirt, covered with a sweatshirt, covered with his JSF jacket. The rink would keep him cool enough-he hoped.  

He rushed through the Inn, ignoring his mom's offered breakfast and his dad's worried questions, and ran straight to Ice Castle where Victor and Yuri were already on the ice.  

“Sorry! I overslept! U-Um...” 

“Good morning, Yuuri! Only Aeroflot has kept me waiting as long as you have," Victor greeted teasingly, though Yuuri could see that the alpha's smile wasn't quite as heartfelt this morning-perhaps he was upset Yuuri had left the bed in the middle of the night. Well, it's not like he could explain to Victor why he had left, or why he wouldn't be able to sleep in a bed with him anytime soon, or even why Yuuri wouldn't be in the hot springs with him after practice either... Yuuri was so fucked. This was all becoming such a fucking mess.  

Yuuri felt panic flash through him again and dropped to his knees, desperately trying to apologize to Victor, praying the alpha wouldn't leave him but also that the alpha wouldn't push him to find out why he hadn't stayed in bed last night. 

"Oh, Japanese dogeza! Resting is a part of work too," Victor hummed, before helping Yuuri up from the ice and asking, "Is everything alright, Yura?" 

"Everything's fine," Yuuri answered quickly, stiffly.  

"Victor! You're supposed to be watching my footwork!" Yuri yelled from across the rink.  

Victor gave Yuuri another, searching look and skated away.  

Yuuri removed his jacket and sweatshirt but kept his long sleeve shirt on over his leotard and tried not to be very obvious about checking to see if he had lactated through the folded washcloths, his leotard, and his shirt yet, touching the fabric over his nipples almost obsessively when he thought no one was looking.  

He was majorly fucking up in practice. He flubbed every jump he tried. And his mind seemed to be rolling through a never-ending list of anxieties. Would Victor stay as his coach if Yuuri suddenly stopped being intimate with him because he was lactating? Would he have to pay Victor for his time as coach like he mentioned? Victor had said Yuuri could pay him after he won gold at the GPF, but what if he left before Yuuri even skated in the series leading up to the GPF? 

"Yuuri, I've noticed you flub your jumps when something is on your mind, so is there anything you'd like to talk about?" Victor asked when Yuri was in the bathroom.  

"No, everything's fine." 

Victor sighed, "Yuuri, did I upset you last night? Because I didn't want to talk about the boxes of my family stuff? Is that why you left the bed?" 

"No! No, of course not, Victor! You don't have to talk to me about that if you're not ready, I-I'll always support you. I'm not upset with you." 

"So then...you are upset with someone? Or about something?" 

"I'm fine, I'm just not...feeling well. And I didn't want you to get sick too." 

"Well, alright dorogoy _(darling)_ , but I want to take care of you if you're sick, I don't care if I get sick too. Next time, just let me know so I can help you, okay?" 

"Okay," Yuuri mumbled, feeling guilt well up within him-Victor was already upset and it hadn't even been 24 hours since he had started lactating like a disgusting freak of nature. He just felt so wrong about it because he wasn't really a dam in the biological sense, and he felt like Victor and Yuri would both think it was weird and kind of gross and by extension that would make Yuuri weird and gross. He just didn't really know how to emotionally deal with it yet. And every time his emotions got the better of him, swinging to and fro, he would feel his nipples twinge and squirt more milk out where it sat, sticky and warm, against his tender chest.  

"Alright, well if you're not feeling well, do you still want to practice today? Or we can leave early?" 

Yuuri shook his head vehemently, "I want to keep practicing!" 

"Okay, well skate through Eros but just mark the jumps." 

Yuuri tried. He really tried. But he felt decidedly not-sexy right now. His rendition of Eros was a disaster.  

Yuri thankfully hadn't noticed, he was doing some cool down stretches past the rink barrier before he went back to the Inn to skype his tutor.  

Victor had noticed.  

Victor didn't know what was going on with Yuuri but something was definitely not right. The omega smelled odd. He smelled very sweet, even around the anxious sourness, almost like he was about to go into a heat? But not quite. He was acting really jumpy and kept touching his chest? And he had left the bed last night, and Victor still didn't know why. Yuuri didn't seem sick, he just seemed distracted and extremely anxious. Victor hoped he hadn't done something to upset Yuuri, because he was sure the omega was shy enough that he'd have difficulty really telling Victor, no matter how many times the alpha asked.  

Yuuri's rendition of Eros was...awful. Victor hated thinking it, but it was true. That might have been the worst version of Eros Yuuri had ever skated.  

Victor was so tangled up wondering what was wrong with the omega and how he could help that his mouth seemed to speak without his brain's drive. Victor had been worrying that perhaps Yuuri was upset about a past partner or something-it was so difficult to quell his ever-present insecurities. Victor suggested to Yuuri offhandedly that the omega think of a past girlfriend to inspire his Eros before freezing and trying to laugh the suggestion off; But Yuuri still gave him a puzzled look anyway, of course, before he skated away from Victor again, not engaging in further conversation. The omega started skating simple figures on the ice and Victor sighed, it seemed like practice really was done for the day.    

When they went back to the Inn, Yuuri did not join Victor and Yuri in the hot springs. The omega ate dinner sitting about a foot away from both of the alphas at the table. And after dinner he went straight up to his bedroom and shut himself inside, not letting Makkachin in even when she whined at the door.  

Victor cried himself to sleep for the second night in a row, all alone in bed again. Even Makkachin had remained curled up in the hallway, outside of Yuuri's shut door.  

Whatever had happened, whatever Victor had done wrong, was clearly bad. His mate was going to leave him, he knew it. Everything in him ached, spreading from a deep throbbing that had settled under his sternum. How could he live in a world without Yuuri by his side? And what would happen to Yuri? He would probably stay with Yuuri and Victor would be entirely alone. What would he do? Where would he go? Yakov probably wouldn't take him now, after all he had done.  

The next day, Yuuri almost ignored Victor during practice. He barely spoke to the alpha at all, and even Yuri was noticing. Yuri kept asking Yuuri what was wrong in increasingly irritable ways until he finally left for his Skype tutoring session in the afternoon.  

Yuuri stepped off the ice and made to leave the rink behind Yuri without a word to Victor. The alpha tried inviting Yuuri to go somewhere with him and was rebuffed. He felt tears welling up in his eyes, as he followed Yuuri back to the Inn dejectedly-his Yuuri hated him now, and he didn't even know why. He always fucked everything up. Maybe if he was a better alpha he could have kept his omega mate happy _. Yuuri hated Victor. Victor hated Victor._   

Victor invited Yuuri to eat with him, to soak in the hot springs with him, to sleep with him, and was rejected every time.  

Victor cried himself to sleep. Again. Alone in bed. Again.  

*~~~*  

Yuuri hadn't slept the past two nights. He had managed to fall asleep that first night he had spent away from Victor when he had discovered his lactation, but the past two nights he hadn't been able to rest more than fitful half-hour periods of time scattered through the night.  

He could hear Victor crying himself to sleep the past two nights. He could smell the alpha's distress. He wouldn't let Makkachin into his own room because he was hoping the poodle would go back to Victor, providing some comfort to the alpha, but it didn't help, Makkachin just slept in the hallway between their rooms, or by Yuuri's door. Perhaps the poodle knew Yuuri was just as upset as Victor and was trying to somehow offer comfort to both of the humans.  

Hiroko, Toshiya, and Mari had all noticed something was wrong. Yuuri rebuffed all of their questions and hid from everyone.  

Yuri was upset too. He knew something was very wrong. He could smell it. He could see it when Victor went to bed sad and alone, Yuuri holed up in his own bedroom.  

Yuuri felt horrible about what he was doing to Victor. He felt awful about what he was doing to his parents and sister. And he felt even worse about what he was doing to Yuri. He was upsetting his mate, and it tugged at his heart, it hurt. But he was also upsetting his bonded pup, and it felt like his heart was tearing in two, it was painful. Yuuri was selfish. He was a weak, failure of a mate and a weak, failure of a dam.  

He couldn't do this anymore. He couldn't wait around for Victor to leave him while Yuri suffered too. He didn't want to do that to his pup, especially as he was freshly bonded. And while Yuuri couldn't sense his pup's emotional nuances as clearly as he would be able to feel with a bonded mate-since the bonding process made one biologically much more sensitive to their mate and pup's scents-he could feel Yuri's confusion, frustration, and fear. The poor pup was probably worried that Yuuri didn't love him or would leave him, or something equally awful.  

Yuuri didn't have the courage to face his un-bonded mate yet, but every one of his instincts was screaming at him to help his bonded pup. He couldn’t ignore it. It wasn't a choice. Yuri was his bonded pup. Bonded. Irrevocably. Yuuri couldn’t turn away from his pup.  

He hadn't bonded with Victor yet, and Yuuri didn't know if he was upset because that meant Victor could and probably would leave him, or if he was grateful because a mating bond hadn't forced him to confront Victor about everything that was happening yet.  

Yuuri slipped down the hall and into Yuri's room. The young alpha was sleeping, scrunched up in the middle of his bed. Yuuri's heart lurched when he noticed the teen had one of the omega's dirty sweatshirts stuffed up to his face. Yuri probably had needed to scent his bonded dam to be able to relax enough to sleep since he likely felt rejected and maybe even abandoned during the day.  

Yuuri was a horrible person. What he had done to Yuri the past couple of days, after freshly bonding the pup, was cruel. He was lucky his pup hadn't slipped into abandonment sickness-something freshly bonded mates or pups would experience if their bond partner left them soon after bonding. Yuuri felt nauseated, and his nipples were leaking so much milk he could feel it trailing stickily down his front, under his shirt. He needed to make this right. He owed that to Yuri. He didn't want to be a terrible dam anymore.  

Yuuri got into the bed in front of Yuri and cuddled the young alpha against his chest. He didn't care about the lactation anymore. He hoped Yuri wouldn't either. But if his pup did reject him, he would try to find a way to live with it, but he didn't want to reject his pup; Yuuri wanted to support his pup, even if the omega had his own issues to deal with.  

Yuuri tugged Yuri closer to him and the teen sighed and nuzzled his face right against Yuuri's aching chest. The omega gasped as a rush of milk squirted out from his nipples, soaking through the shirt he was wearing easily. He was about to pull back from the young alpha, when Yuri woke.  

"Mm, Yuuri? Is that you? Are you okay now?" Yuri yawned and sighed, seemingly not fully awake, before he stretched himself out of the omega's hold, limbs cracking loudly in the room.  

"Yes, Yuchan, I'm okay now. I'm sorry, Yuri, I'm so sorry, to have done that to you, to have ignored you. I didn't mean to, I didn't want to, I've just, I've had a lot going on. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry." 

"Shut up, Katsudon, it's fine. I know you have some shit to work out with Victor. I've been upset but I know it hasn't been about me, so I mean, I've been alright, you know?" 

"I know, Yuri. I'm sorry I was so selfish though. I don't know what I would have done if you had gotten abandonment sickness-" 

"Hey, I said it's fine Yuuri. Really. I would have said something to you if I had started feeling sick." 

"Well I'm still really sorry." 

"It's okay. I forgive you. Okay?" 

"Yeah," Yuuri breathed out into the warm air between them.  

Yuri snuck his nose to the omega's collar bone and sniffed him, looking for his comforting scent, "What... Katsudon, why do you smell different?" 

Yuuri squirmed uncomfortably, his shirt sticking in damp patches to his swollen nipples.  

The young alpha nosed Yuuri's collar bone, chasing the sweetened scent right to the source, making a sound of surprise when his face brushed against the warm, damp patches of Yuuri's shirt. The omega's nipples were extremely hard and swollen, the buds pressing into the shirt covering them thickly.  

"Um...so, you're my pup now and...my body thinks it needs to feed you?" 

Yuri didn't say anything. He hadn't moved. His mouth was still pressed to the top of one of the wet patches on Yuuri's shirt. The omega could feel the young alpha inhaling deeply and puffing breaths back out hotly against his chest.  

"Please don't think I'm gross..." Yuuri muttered, his body stiffening in anxiety, wondering if Yuri would push him away and yell at him now.  

Yuri mumbled something into Yuuri's chest and the omega whimpered and squirmed when the movements of the alpha's lips brushed over his tender nipples where they were peaked under his wet shirt. Yuri pulled his face up from Yuuri's chest finally, and the omega squeaked, "What?" 

"I said, I'm glad to have a mother like you, Yuuri. Even your body wants and loves me. I've never been wanted or loved like this before." 

"Baby...I do love you, so much-" 

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Yuri grumbled, cutting the emotional omega off and trying to stifle his heated blush when he felt Yuuri's nipples twitch against where they were pressed together and fresh blooms of liquid heat pour from them, "I love you too, Katsudon. Now let me go back to sleep. And stop being stupid and fix things with Victor. He's an ugly crier and I'm sick of his moping." 

Yuri cuddled close to Yuuri and the omega started purring, happy that his pup was happy and cuddled safely in his arms. Yuuri's purrs lulled Yuri to sleep quickly and the omega was half asleep too when he felt an odd sensation at his chest.  

Yuri had tucked his face against the omega's chest and his mouth was pressed open against Yuuri's left nipple now. Every breath the pup released blew hotly onto the omega's nipple and caused it to twitch and gush small drops of milk. Yuuri's chest ached fiercely and, in his sleepy, hazy state, he did the thing that made most sense to his body, he followed his instincts and pressed his nipple directly into the young alpha's mouth.  

Yuri seemed to have a dormant rooting instinct, because the pup latched right onto the omega's nipple, through the shirt, and started sucking big gulps of milk directly from Yuuri's chest. Yuuri startled awake and stuffed his fist against his mouth to stifle a moan. It felt so relieving to finally have his tits sucked on. The nipple Yuri was drinking from was throbbing in relief while the omega's neglected nipple started tingling with shooting pains and aches.  

His chest ached too badly to really think through his actions, he just didn't even care anymore; Yuuri pulled Yuri off his left nipple and stuffed his right, neglected nipple into the pup's mouth, right as the youth started letting out grunting whines. Yuuri breathed a heavy sigh as Yuri sucked at his other nipple. His chest felt so good now. His nipples still felt raw and sore, but his chest didn't hurt so sharply anymore.  

But, though he had done a lot of research about breastfeeding in the past days, Yuuri was still surprised to feel slick start to dribble out of his hole as the hungry pup continued to suck on his nipples. He had read that some breastfeeding mothers experienced sexual pleasure from breastfeeding and sometimes even orgasmed during the process, because their nipples were so sensitive. And Yuuri had always had sensitive nipples, and he couldn't help the heat pulling and pooling in his groin, forcing his body to produce slick while his cock stiffened in arousal.  

Yuuri started whimpering and squirming against the teen, trying to pull himself back before things got even more out of hand than they already were, but Yuri pawed at his shoulder and detached long enough to grumble, "Stop wiggling, Katsudon, I know your chest must hurt, I'm just trying to help." 

Well, apparently Yuri was awake, then.  

"Yuri, you don't have to, I mean- Yuri! Stop! I-It's not right!" 

Yuri pulled back once more and huffed at the omega, "What's not right about it? I'm your pup and you're my dam. You're feeding me. It's the rightest thing in the world. Stop being an idiot." 

"Even if..." 

"I know you can't help that, Yuuri. But Victor can help you if you'd actually make things better with him." 

Yuuri stilled, and Yuri pulled the omega's shirt off. The alpha cuddled up to Yuuri's chest and fell asleep again with one of the omega's nipples in his suckling mouth. Yuuri shook his way through a mostly-silent orgasm after Yuri fell asleep sucking on his nipples.  

 _How could Victor possibly ever stay with him now?_  

 _*~~~*_  

Yuri left for the skating rink the next morning without waking the sleeping omega. Yuuri looked wrecked. His nipples were rubbed raw and looked swollen and puffy in the morning light. The alpha laid a blanket over the omega and left, hoping Yuuri could get some rest and make things better with Victor later in the day.  

He loved Yuuri, he really did. He hadn't ever thought he would feel this way about anyone in his life. He hadn't ever thought he'd have a real dam; That he'd be bonded to a sire and dam. His stomach felt all weird whenever he looked at Yuuri, or smelled him, or cuddled close to him-Yuri thought the weird feeling might be happiness. Yuuri made him feel good. Being around the omega made him feel good. And Victor played a large part in that too.  

Victor had always kind of noticed Yuri as an afterthought-or that's what it had felt like to the teen. But now, Victor actually cared for Yuri. Victor focused on Yuri. Gave Yuri attention. Yuri mattered to Victor now. Victor was his sire. Every time Yuri thought of Victor and Yuuri together a warm balloon of happiness expanded in his chest. Now, if only those two morons could figure their shit out and stop whatever bullshit fight was going on between them.  

When Yuri arrived at the rink, Victor was already there. The older alpha did not look good. Yuri told Victor that Yuuri had a rough night and was still asleep, in his own bedroom at the Inn. He said he'd be running through some skating exercises on his own this morning and directed the alpha to the Inn to _'figure shit out with Yuuri'._   

*~~~* 

Yuuri woke in Yuri's bedroom, alone. His body ached. His nipples felt abused. Guilt consumed him, sinking his stomach and creating a burning sensation in his ribs and behind his shoulder blades. He felt disgusting. Victor would think he was disgusting. How could he ever make things better with the alpha now? 

Victor burst into the room and didn't give the omega a chance to hide away again. He tugged Yuuri to his feet, decidedly not frowning at the omega's state of undress, and urged Yuuri to get dressed and accompany him to the beach.  

Whatever Yuuri needed to tell him, whatever they needed to work out, Victor was determined to figure it out today, on the beach. The beach had become one of their special places, and Victor felt safe talking there, on the sand. He was terrified Yuuri would leave him. He was so confused at finding Yuuri in Yuri's room, half-naked, with his nipples practically bleeding. He had no idea what had been going on the past few days. But he wanted to talk everything through today, for better or worse, even if Yuuri wanted to leave him, Victor wanted to just be put out of his misery and to  _*know*_  what his fate would be one way or the other.  

But his omega was skittish. And Victor could see the anxious way Yuuri carried himself all the way to the beach. Yuuri twitched and shied away every time Victor tried touching him. Victor's jaw clenched, and his fingerbones ached- _why wouldn't his mate let him close?_    

They settled on the sand, far away from anyone else on the shore. Makkachin sat between them. Yuuri was hunched over, hugging his knees, and not looking at or speaking to Victor.  

Victor tried to say something, anything, several times, but his voice cracked and died in his throat every time.  

After they had sat for a while, several seagulls flew overhead, calling to each other.  

“Oh, seagulls. Black-tailed gulls. Ever since I came here, I’m reminded of St. Petersburg when I hear seagulls in the early morning. I never thought I’d leave that city, so I never used to notice the seagulls’ cries. Do you ever have times like that?” 

Yuuri shook a bit, but finally, spoke: “There was a girl in Detroit who was really pushy and kept talking to me. One time, a rink mate got into an accident. I was pretty torn up with worry...I was in the hospital waiting room with that girl. When she hugged me to comfort me, I shoved her away without thinking about it.” 

“Wow, why?” 

“I didn’t want her to think I was feeling unsettled. I felt like she was intruding on my feelings or something, and I hated it. But then I realized that Minako-sensei, Nishigori, Yuko-chan, and my family never treated me like a weakling. They all had faith that I’d keep growing as a person, and they never stepped over the line.” 

“Yuuri, you’re not weak. No one else thinks that either. What do you want me to be to you? You've never given us a real label... a father figure?”  

“No.” 

“A brother, then? A friend?” 

Yuuri shrugged but didn't say anything else. Victor felt frustration well up inside of him.  _Why couldn't Yuuri just tell Victor_ _what he wanted from him?_  

“Then, your boyfriend, I guess. I can try my best. I think I've done a pretty awful job so far, though, since you've been so upset lately.” 

“No, no, no, no, no!” 

“I want you to stay who you are, Victor! I’ve always looked up to you. I ignored you because I didn’t want you to see my shortcomings. I’ll make it up to you with my skating!” 

Shortcomings?  _Oh, Yuuri,_ his anxiety was more vicious than Victor's it seemed.  

“Okay, I won’t let you off easy, then. That’s my way of showing my love.”  

"I-I'll be better, I really will. I don't want you to leave me, Victor." 

That shook Victor.  _How could he ever leave Yuuri?_  

"Yuuri! Why would I ever leave you? You're my mate, my love, and I'll never leave you. What's really been going on, sweetheart, you said you didn't want me to see your shortcomings, and you said you felt like I might see you as weak, but I just see a strong, talented, wonderful omega before me, whom I love so much." 

"I-I just, I didn't want you to leave me a-and stop being my c-coach because I wasn't sleeping in bed with you or spending a lot of time with you anymore. And because I-I'm so anxious all the time, and then I started stressing that if you left me then how would I pay your coaching fees without any winnings from the Grand Prix series. And I know that so awful and selfish, but I don't want you to leave because of that and I also don't want you to leave b-because I really want to hold onto you Victor. I never feel like you're intruding on my feelings o-or p-pushing me for anything, and you're so...you're perfect, Vicchan, and I love you, and I can't imagine life without you now, and-" 

"Yuuri," Victor hushed the anxiously babbling omega with a finger to his lips, "Everything is alright, Yura, really." 

"But-" 

"Yura, first of all, even if you decided you didn't want to be with me romantically, I would still stay and be your coach. I'm never going to push you into a relationship you're uncomfortable with.  And no matter what we are to each other, whatever kind of relationship we're in, I never intend to charge you coaching fees, ever, so please put that worry from your mind." 

"But-" 

"And," Victor continued, not letting Yuuri interject more anxiety-driven doubts into the conversation, "It sounds like you do want to continue being with me in a romantic relationship, labeled or not, so that's not a concern either, because of course, I want to stay with you in our romantic relationship, with or without labels. As you said, I never want to push you for anything you don't want, I want you to be able to be comfortable at your own pace." 

Yuuri had a moment of clarity;  _When I open up, he meets me where I am. I shouldn’t be afraid to open up more._  

"I'm lactating," Yuuri finally blurted out.  

Victor, to his credit, seemed unsurprised, "Yes, Yuuri?" 

"Since we bonded Yuri, my body, and my omegan instincts, thinks I have a pup to provide for. So, I've started lactating. I don't know how long it's going to last and I just didn't want you and Yuri thinking I was a freak or something and I was scared. So, I ran away from you and hid, because I’m a coward. And I do love you, Vicchan, so much, and I do want to move forward in our relationship, I think I'm really starting to accept that somehow you're my mate, even though you're so perfect and I'm just, well, me; But I didn't want you to leave me because this was too weird for you, and then when I started staying away from you I got so worried you'd leave me because of that and that maybe you'd even quit being my coach." 

Victor grabbed the omega into his arms, around Makkachin, and pressed Yuuri against his chest in a tight hug. He laughed breathily, "That's all, dorogoy  _(darling)_? That's what all the distance has been about? Oh, my Yura, I love you so much, sweetheart, and everything is just fine." 

Yuuri inhaled shakily and mumbled, "Really?"  

"Yes, Yura, really." 

"So, you don't think it's...gross?" 

"On the contrary, Yura, I think it's pretty sexy-as if you needed something to make you even impossibly sexier than you are now." 

"Really?" 

"Yes, of course, Yura. First of all, I love you, so much, Yuuri. And I'm not perfect, but you are. I don't like that you compare yourself to me and think poorly of yourself, because you're so wonderful, love, you're the perfect one, really. Secondly, to hear that you really want to be my mate... Yura, you've ruined me for anyone else, sweetheart, and I never, ever want that to change." 

"Only that-" Yuuri broke off, his mouth moving but no sound came out. His whole face blushed scarlet. And now that Victor was looking for it, he could see small patches of dampness forming on the omega's shirt, while his stiff nipples poked against the fabric. Apparently strong emotions caused the omega to lactate.  

"What is it my Yura? You can tell me anything." 

"Last night I went to see Yuri because I just couldn't leave my pup alone and he ended up breastfeeding from me, which I know is horrible, and even worse, I-I h-had a... it j-just...I wasn't expecting f-for him to ever do that and I d-didn't know it would feel so...good," Yuuri finished in a whisper, turning his head down while tears began to stream down his red face.  

Oh. So Yuuri was lactating because they had claimed Yuri. And last night Yuuri had gone to the alpha, probably ramped up with omegan hormones, and had ended up breastfeeding their pup. And... he had liked it? Victor didn't understand what was really wrong with that all, but whatever was wrong was upsetting his mate and he wanted nothing more than to make it better.  

Victor brought his mouth to Yuuri's in the first kiss they had shared in several days. But Yuuri broke the kiss and started crying harder.  

Victor grabbed the omega's face in his hands and made Yuuri look at him, "Yuuri. Tell me what's actually wrong. Please, love. I just want to make it better for you." 

"I-I'm fucked up, Vicchan. I breastfed our teenaged pup, and I had an orgasm while doing it," Yuuri sobbed, sniffling as his eyes scrunched up and more tears poured out.  

Victor pulled the huddled omega into his lap and grabbed him tightly into his arms, comforting him with his strong embrace. He pressed his scent glands against the omega's head as he held him, trying to soothe him with his scent. After a short while Yuuri's cries quieted and he stopped shaking so much, and Victor whispered, "Are you feeling better, sweetheart?" 

Yuuri shook his head but didn't say anything, just sniffled and hiccupped, trying to catch his breath.  

"Yura, I know you had a different education than me, that we grew up in different countries, but during my mandatory alpha omega biology class in school, well I had a tutor, but still, she was an omega and she told me that breastfeeding was very emotional for many omega's. She said their instincts practically drove them to breastfeed their pups or it could be physically painful. She also said that the physical act of breastfeeding would feel relieving and pleasurable, and that it was common for an omega to orgasm when breastfeeding. That's because normally, when an omega is breastfeeding, their alpha is nearby, guarding the nest and their young pup, and the smell of the omega's slick will feed the alpha's drive to protect. It's all instinct, honey. I don't think you could have stopped yourself from breastfeeding Yuri. And I don't think he could have stopped himself from feeding from you, pups, no matter how old, need that after they're bonded to their parents, or they can get abandonment sickness." 

"Not breastfeeding Yuri would have caused abandonment sickness?" 

"Yes, honey, if you had begun to lactate, which you did. He would have sensed it, and his instincts would have driven him to you sooner or later." 

"So, you knew I was going to lactate?" 

"I did some research and thought it was a strong possibility. I read up on a lot of things and refreshed my knowledge of our biology and instincts as alpha and omega after your first menstrual cycle with me around, because I wanted to make sure to never be unprepared to help you again." 

"So, there's nothing wrong with me? You're not upset?" 

"Of course not, sweetheart." 

"You don't want to leave me?" 

"Never." 

"Ever?" 

"Never ever." 

Yuuri giggled a little and pressed his face against his alpha's neck, "How are you so perfect? How do I get to keep you?" 

"I honestly ask myself those questions every day, Yura." 

Victor scooped the omega up into his arms and rubbed their noses together cutely, before chiding gently, "Honey, please just tell me next time anything like this happens. You never have to hide from me. I won't ever leave you. Please, Yuuri, just be open with me." 

"I will, Vicchan. I promise." 

Victor leaned down and kissed the omega in his arms, and Yuuri kissed him back hungrily. Victor pulled back, knowing Yuuri wasn't comfortable with overt public displays of affection, but the omega just grabbed the alpha's shirt collar and pulled his lips down to meet his again, whining against Victor's mouth.  

Yuuri suddenly wiggled out of Victor's grasp and started pulling the alpha towards the sidewalk that bordered the beach.  

Victor followed the omega, who had begun jogging towards the Inn. They snuck in a back entrance and quietly made their way up to Victor's bedroom, not wanting to be interrupted. Victor could feel the tension pulsing between them. They hadn't really touched in days. They had been emotionally and physically distant and it had taken a toll on them both. It had hurt. They needed to reconnect.  

Yuuri pulled Victor into the dim, quiet room and laid back on the large bed. Victor took his clothing off and started stripping Yuuri's clothing off too. When he uncovered the omega's chest, his nipples were dripping with fresh milk, and the areolas looked swollen and had turned a very dark shade of brown.  

"Yuuri, can I?" Victor brushed his fingertips gently around the omega's swollen chest.  

"Please, Vicchan," Yuuri whined pressing his chest up into the alpha's hands.  

Victor ran the pads of his fingers over the tips of Yuuri's nipples and watched hungrily as milk spurted from them in fountains.  

"You feed our pup so well with these, detka  _(baby)_ ," Victor growled and the omega preened at the praise.  

"Will you feed your alpha too, Yura?" 

"Yes, yes please, Vicchan-" 

Victor gently took one of Yuuri's swollen buds into his mouth and sucked, groaning as the sweet milk hit his tongue.  

"You're the most perfect omega, the most perfect mate, Yura," Victor murmured, before latching back onto Yuuri's nipple and sucking more milk from the omega eagerly.  

Yuuri moaned and writhed underneath Victor, fingers clawing at the bedding.  

"Are you going to cum for me, sweetheart? Are you going to squirt some more milk onto my tongue while you squirt slick onto my knot?" 

"Ooh, Vicchan, please!" 

"Tell me what you want, Yura." 

Yuuri stilled, and Victor worried for a moment that he had upset the omega. But then Yuuri's big, brown doe eyes blinked up at him and the omega murmured, "I want you inside of me, Vicchan, all the way."  


	30. Fondu 1: Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor and Yuuri mark each other as mates. 
> 
> "Fondu: /fon-doo/ BALLET noun: “Melted”. A slow bending of the supporting leg." 
> 
> Songs: 
> 
> Gonna Love Ya by Avicii  
> You Were Meant for Me by Jewel  
> Kingdom Come by Coldplay  
> Everlong by Foo Fighters  
> This Wild Darkness by Moby  
> Everloving by Moby  
> Midnight by Coldplay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Please note: Yuri is present while Victor and Yuuri engage in sexual activities towards the end of this chapter. 
> 
> CHAPTER WARNINGS: 
> 
> Mentions of Prescribed Anxiety Medication  
> Biting/Marking  
> Rough Sex  
> Breastfeeding  
> Sexual Activity with Minor Present  
> Sexual Activity with Family Present  
> Lack of Boundaries  
> Underage Sexual Activity

Victor felt his venom spurt in stinging splashes against his tongue and burn a trail down the back of his throat. The scent of roses clouded the air around them thickly.

Victor’s hands had started shaking. His body was shaking. He felt like he was shaking apart into little pieces. His future, everything he wanted, that he hadn’t known he had wanted or even needed until this small omega had crashed his way so spectacularly into his life, was laid out before him on a platter. Yuuri was offering him life and love, and everything in between, and Victor’s body was shattering to pieces while his mind stalled and stuttered along. Was this it? Was his mate going to bond with him?

“You’re sure? You r-really want me inside of you?” Victor had to ask, he would never want Yuuri to try to force himself to do anything before he was ready, but his alpha instincts and his body were trembling at the ready. He desperately didn’t want their first time overshadowed by their secondary genders and instincts. He wanted to meet halfway as purely Victor and Yuuri, not as alpha and omega.

But Victor’s knot had already swollen, and oily venom and scented pheromones were dripping from every one of his throbbing glands, swirling and clouding through the air in a desperate call to his mate. His fangs had fully descended through his gums, blood was tinging his mouth with copper, and his mind was buzzing with instinctual urges to claim his mate. His mate had given him a pup and he was still un-bonded. It made Victor’s skin itch and burn with instinctual nerves-he needed to claim his mate. His bones were trying to shake out of his skin, and he was trying so hard to restrain himself.

Yuuri looked straight into the alpha’s hazy eyes, and nodded, “Yes, Vitya. I-I hadn’t been comfortable with it, with anyone like that, before, you know...but, w-we have a pup, a-and, and you talk about marrying me all the time, and, will you r-really...?”

“Really what, my Yura?” Victor managed to mumble from behind his throbbing fangs, they had cut through his gums so quickly that blood was still dripping in his mouth, forcing him to gulp mouthfuls of blood and burning venom.

“I mean, you’re really going to marry me? Yuchan, and I, we’re really your family? I-I’ve been t-telling myself, that you’re not going to leave, that...it’s just that, sometimes I...”

“Yuuri, yes, of course. I really, really am going to marry you, as soon as you let me. I will never leave you and Yuranya. What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

“If I... I didn’t...”

“If you didn’t...?”

“I don’t want you to leave me when I don’t win gold in competition,” Yuuri muttered, low and miserable-sounding. The omega sunk into himself, curling up in shame, and Victor knew he must have just bared one of his deepest insecurities. Victor felt like his heart was cracking in his chest; Yuuri, his poor Yuuri, had been allowing his anxieties to tell him awful things.

Victor’s entire countenance calmed, his inner alpha gentling for his omega mate. He could feel the painful ache in his fangs and gums dulling, his venom production slowed, his scent glands cooled a bit, and his shaking soothed slightly. He brought himself as close to his omega as possible and wrapped Yuuri in his arms, and started whispering thickly, his fangs and swollen glands giving him trouble speaking in any lengthy capacity, but he needed his mate to hear and believe his reassurances.

“My Yura, Yuuri, my life and my love, my everything...Yuuri, you really are everything to me. It hasn’t been a long time that we’ve shared together, and I know you have a lot of insecurities, and that you have actual anxiety issues that you take medication for, and that’s all alright, darling, it only makes me love you so much more, to want to give you more of myself, my love, my life, my everything. You have been so giving to me emotionally, reassuring me whenever I’ve come to you in tears, with an ache in my heart, and my love, please let me give to you also. I want you to tell me anytime you have an insecurity like this. I want to reassure you. I won’t dismiss your concerns, I won’t trivialize the emotional hardship you live with every day, like you don’t do to me; I just want to make sure you know exactly how much I love you, how dedicated and devoted I am to you. That you know, I will undoubtedly, never ever leave you. I will always stay by your side. I will never leave.”

“Vicchan. I-I love you, so much. I never thought I could or would love like this. And here you are. Like a, like a deity stepping into my life from the stars, from my dreams, and giving me everything I’d ever wished for. And I don’t...I don’t deserve this, I don’t deserve you. I know I don’t, I can’t, but I want to try every day to deserve you.”

“Katsuki Yuuri, you are the most beautiful, inside and out, kind, caring, hardworking, and talented individual I’ve ever had the deepest pleasure of knowing. You saved me. From all the people trying to tear me down. You saved me from myself. You saved me from...from being alone in the crowd and, from wanting to...well, from not wanting to be around anymore, you know? You have given me inspiration, life and love, everything. You’re so giving, Yuuri. You couldn’t do anything more to deserve me, you exist and I’m yours, always.”

“Oh Vicchan, I’m so sorry. I wish I could take away all the hurts of your past. I want to love you like no one ever could. I want to make your heart feel the way it should.”

“I want to do the same for you, my love. I want, I want everything with you. I want to bond with you, I know you’re my true mate. I know that you were meant for me and I was meant for you, even when we were apart, before we even knew each other. That’s why none of my other relationships ever worked. And Yuuri I, my love, I really, really want to marry you. I want you to know I’m yours not just as alpha and omega, with a bond; I want to wear your ring, for you to wear mine. How could I ever leave you? You’d live in my dreams even if you were gone from my waking world.”

“Victor...” Yuuri breathed, pupils dilating, “I d-don’t know what to say, but that, I love you, with everything I am. I love you. And all of me, my body, my mind, is yours, I am yours.”

“I am yours too, Yura, all of me.”

“Then...then isn’t it rather silly that we haven’t bonded yet? We’ve bonded our pup, but we haven’t bonded to each other and...and you haven’t been inside of me yet...” Yuuri tried to say, even though his face was steadily darkening in a hot blush, his rebuilt courage suddenly flagging somewhere beneath his pounding heart.

“Sweetheart, it is never silly to wait to do something until you’re comfortable. If you needed more time, that would be alright too. I will wait for you for as long as I need to, for forever if I have to.”

“I’m ready. Now. Please, make love to me, Victor?”

“Yes, yes, my love, yes,” Victor gasped, dotting breathy, affectionate kisses with his swollen, bloodied lips all over Yuuri’s face, leaving slightly damp marks behind, stinging slightly with venom.

Yuuri whined in sensitivity and brushed a soft kiss to Victor’s lips, minding his fangs. He opened his legs, cradling Victor above him within the curve of his hips and pelvis.

“I-I can’t believe we’re going to...” Yuuri laughed breathily, maybe even a bit nervously, “I’ve had all of you and now you’ll really have all of me, Vicchan, and it makes me so happy...and is it okay if...if I’m a bit scared too?” Yuuri finished in a low whisper, not making eye contact with Victor.

“It’s okay to be scared. I promise to be gentle, darling. And if you want to stop or don’t want to do anything at all, that’s okay too.”

“I need you now, Victor,” Yuuri laughed, nudging his hips and prominent erection up against Victor’s body, “I definitely want to do this. Just, p-please take care of me?”

“Of course, sweetheart,” Victor whispered into Yuuri’s hair, leaving more sweet kisses everywhere he trailed his lips, also marking the omega with his scented venom wherever he kissed.

He moved his mouth to the omega’s neck and laid soft, stinging kisses to his scent glands, careful not to suck at them or place much pressure against the swollen glands, he wanted his Yuuri to be coherent the first time they joined fully in love, and not to accidentally push the omega into a heat right away.

When the omega gasped and shook underneath Victor, squeezing his eyes shut against the sensations wracking through his body when the alpha’s venom made slight contact with his scent glands, the alpha took his mouth away from the omega’s neck, and moved down to suck any remnants of sweet milk still dotted in droplets around Yuuri’s swollen nipples.

Yuuri had stopped lactating for the time being which was a good sign, it meant his instinctual hormones had calmed, at least for the moment, and Victor was conscientious of that as well, moving his mouth quickly away from the intrinsically omegan sensitive areas much like he had with the omega’s scent glands. Brief brushes of love, reassurance that he loved every part of his mate, but no direct focus to wind up his omegan instincts too much in the moment.

He didn’t want to brush stinging kisses over Yuuri’s delicate webbing of stretch marks, knowing the soft, slightly rippled skin could be very tender to harsher sensations. But Victor thought Yuuri’s skin was so beautiful, like purple lines of sunset striped through the dusk-golden sky. The alpha petted his fingers reverently against the omega’s hips, stomach, and thighs, tracing Yuuri’s stretch marks with soft touches and whispering words of praise to the blushing omega.

Victor felt his stomach swoop and flutter with nerves and anticipation.

“It’s like we’re getting married now. We’re marrying our bodies, as alpha and omega,” Victor whispered reverently, smiling softly when all Yuuri could respond with was a firm nod, eyes filling with tears under his glasses.

He settled between Yuuri’s open legs, bent at the knee, and chased the scent of sugared apples to the omega’s furled entrance with his tongue. He didn’t necessarily have to stretch the omega and certainly didn’t have to use any lube, but he wanted to be sure Yuuri would experience as little discomfort as possible.

He opened his lover up on his tongue and fingers, sucking the taste of sweetened apples from the omega’s slick every time Yuuri moaned and another gush of slick would pour forth. Victor scissored his fingers inside Yuuri’s entrance widely, wanting to be sure that if he pressed his knot entirely inside the omega it wouldn’t tear him.

Yuuri has already orgasmed twice by the time Victor deemed him stretched enough, and had tears running down his face in steady rivulets from sweet overstimulation and pure want.

He welcomed Victor into his arms and into his body, cradling the alpha on himself and inside of himself in the most intimate embrace. When they joined at last, up to Victor’s hard knot pressing against Yuuri’s entrance, their lips met in a kiss and they were both crying. There were too many emotions to pick any one out, but Victor just felt an overwhelming sense of relief, he was finally home.

He made love to his mate softly, rolling his hips and nudging his hard sex into the omega’s body slowly and only increasing in pace and deepening his thrusts when Yuuri tugged Victor’s hips forward into his, and arched his back to receive more stimulation.

Victor’s knot was hard and swollen, but not fully inflated yet. At every thrust, his knot pressed against Yuuri’s entrance, but if Yuuri wanted Victor to knot him then they’d have to do it before the knot fully inflated and firmed up, to avoid any tearing.

And perhaps they should have discussed this before actually having penetrative sex with Victor topping, but he was an alpha that knotted with barbs when provoked. It only meant that he had more alpha hormones than most feeding his mating drive, that he had presented with the ability to inflate a barbed knot if he felt there was a threat to his mating or was particularly wrapped up in his hormones in the moment.

He had never experienced this with any other sexual partner, he just hadn’t cared enough, his inner alpha felt no threat or any over-strong desire to mate with his past partners. And since Yuuri had come into his life, he had never actually penetrated the omega with his own sex before, and the barbs hadn’t shown when he masturbated or during their other sexual activities.

Now though...Victor had only felt the barbs pop out once before in his life, during his presentation rut. But he could feel tingling sparks of pain in his knot, he could feel his skin shifting and thinning where the barbs would swell to lock him into his mate with no ability to separate, more so than a usual knot. The barbs physically locked an alpha into their mate’s body, and the consequences of parting once they were attached with a barbed knot was much worse than tearing, it could put an omega in the hospital, or in some cases, prove fatal.

He should have known. Nothing he experienced with Yuuri was like anything he had ever known with another partner. But now Victor felt shame well up inside of him. His partner deserved a choice. He wasn’t going to just push his knot inside his mate and lock them together without Yuuri’s informed consent. Victor panted against Yuuri's mouth and forced himself to pull back, kissing the omega's lips wetly when he whimpered questioningly at the sudden parting.

"Yura, honey I need to talk to you about something, I'm sorry I forgot, I'm so sorry, love."

"Mm, Vicchan?" Yuuri managed, breathing heavily and squirming underneath the alpha's weight, trying to get him to join their bodies again.

"Yura, Yura, please, honey, look at me?" Victor tried.

Yuuri blinked and some of the haze filtered from his vision, he looked at Victor and hummed questioningly at the alpha's frown.

Before Yuuri's heart could speed up and anxiety could sour his sweetened scent, Victor quickly explained, "Yura, love, I barb when I knot sometimes, and it feels like I'm going to now, though I'm not sure because I haven't since my first rut."

"Oh..." Yuuri mumbled, eyes wide.

"We didn't even discuss if you wanted me to knot you at all, honey, and I know it's much more uncomfortable for an omega out of heat to take a knot, so I won't knot you, I don't want to hurt you, ever. But then that means I can give you an orgasm with my fingers or a toy if you want, love, but you feel too good for me, I won't be able to last inside of you without popping a full knot, that probably will be barbed."

"Knot me."

"What?"

"Knot me, Victor. Please. I-I want it. I really do."

"But honey, it will hurt you, the barbs will hurt. And...and I can't wear a condom when I orgasm because the barbs will tear through it..."

"I... I don’t think that will be an issue," Yuuri blushed terribly, but didn’t elaborate, "So, please. Please, Vicchan, my mate, I need it, I do."

"If you're sure..." Victor mumbled, unsure, not really understanding what Yuuri had even meant about pregnancy not being an issue? What? Victor held his body up and away from his mate’s, trying to clear his head, until Yuuri pulled him back into the cradle of his body, kissing him deeply, and reaching a hand down to grab the alpha's damp member, wet with the omega's slick, and guiding it back inside of himself.

The alpha groaned and relented to the omega, allowing their bodies to fully join once more. Victor lost himself again in the rocking of their hips, the meeting of their lips in sweet, passionate kisses, their fingers grabbing, touching, and entwining together, and the overwhelming warmth enveloping his sex, drawing the alpha in to never let him go.

His knot was growing larger by the second and it was time to start working it into the omega before it fully hardened and before the barbs popped up. Victor pressed his knot directly against the omega’s entrance and ground his hips down, rubbing directly against Yuuri’s furled hole, where it was already stretched around his cock.

Victor felt the omega squirt slick onto his knot where his cock was swallowed by Yuuri’s entrance, the omega’s body responding to the pressure at his entrance with more slick to ease the penetration. The alpha reached his hands down to where they were joined, and rubbed the omega’s slick onto his fingers, before pressing the tip of one finger insistently against the omega’s stretched rim.

“That’s right, darling, open up for me sweetheart, just like that Yura, you’re so good to me,” Victor murmured huskily to the omega, encouraging him through the uncomfortable stretch.

Yuuri was whining and squirming but had managed to take in two of the alpha’s fingers, stretching his entrance alongside the alpha’s dick. Victor was scissoring his fingers as much as possible inside of the omega’s slit, around his own cock, opening the omega up for his knot.

Yuuri keened and his furled muscles twitched around Victor’s cock and fingers, and the alpha pulled his fingers out and gripped the omega’s hips firmly.

“Ready, Yura?”

Yuuri whined and cried, nodding feverishly and nudging his hips upwards.

Victor pressed forward bit by bit, pulling back in minute tugs only to press forward again, managing to force a bit more of his large knot into the omega’s body with each thrust. When the widest part of the knot was stretching Yuuri’s rim, while Victor held himself still, the omega whimpered and nudged his hips upward, forcing the large knot to sink the rest of the way into his body, his slit greedily swallowing the large intrusion with a wet squelching noise.

Once Victor’s knot was entirely inside the omega they both shook at the sensations moving through them. It was overwhelming in the midst of an already physically and emotionally overwhelming experience. Yuuri’s body clamped down around Victor’s knotted sex and Victor shivered when he felt small stings zipping through his knot, as his barbs poked up and embedded themselves into the walls of Yuuri’s channel.

When the barbs had embedded themselves, and they were fully connected and locked together, Victor started orgasming and releasing his first waves of seed into his mate. He moaned weakly and his arms nearly gave out, shaking where he was trying to support his own weight above the omega beneath him. When Yuuri felt the rush of warmth gushing into him, he cried out and orgasmed too, shooting his spend onto his own stomach between them.

“Lay on me, Vitya, it’s alright,” Yuuri cooed to the flustered alpha, shaking and panting as ripples of pleasure tore through him, instinctually forcing his sex to ejaculate into his mate over and over again.

Yuuri gathered Victor into his arms and laid the alpha’s sweaty head onto his chest. They lay together while Victor shook his way through dozens of orgasms, many of them triggering responding orgasms in Yuuri as well, until his softened erection wasn’t able to ejaculate seed anymore, his orgasms were entirely dry after the first several.

Yuuri cooed comfortingly at the alpha and combed his fingers through Victor’s hair. He was lactating again, warm drops of sticky, sweet milk beading on the tips of his dark, swollen nipples and trailing down the sides of his chest. Victor’s face was damp with milk and sweat now, but he only nuzzled his face deeper against his mate’s chest, seeking to be impossibly closer to Yuuri.

It was intense. Their bodies melded together. They could feel each other’s heartbeats. They could only hear each other’s breaths. Every time Victor’s sex would twitch, the barbs would sting Yuuri sharply, and the omega would moan weakly, but then the alpha would be orgasming and ejaculating another wave of seed into the omega, triggering an orgasm in Yuuri as well. It was a feedback loop of pleasure, with only small stings of pain every once in a while. But that’s what they got for knotting outside of a heat, when the omega’s body wasn’t utterly primed for the rough treatment.

When Victor’s knot finally deflated, and he could move without causing a sharp, tearing pain to his mate, he pulled himself off the omega and rolled to the side of the bed. His whole body was exhausted, he felt more wrecked than after any rut. He had never experienced anything like that before, and already he was missing the intimate closeness when they had been tied together, though it had been moments ago.

“Mate me again, Vitya?” Yuuri cooed at the alpha, reaching his fingers out to brush against Victor’s damp face and bangs.

“Oh, my love, I already missed you too,” Victor husked back, every inch of his body and mind feeling utterly enamored and wrapped up in this beautiful, amazing omega.

Victor grabbed a drink of water from a discarded water bottle next to the bed and crawled back over to Yuuri with the water bottle in hand.

“Drink, love.”

“Mm, my alpha provides for me so well,” Yuuri giggled playfully at Victor, but making sure to sip some water all the same to smooth the small, concerned frown forming on Victor’s face.

Then they were kissing again. Their hands couldn’t find enough places to lay loving touches on. They grabbed at each other’s bodies, learning every curve and hollow. Victor was already hard again by the time Yuuri was whining short, crying whimpers up into his mouth where their lips connected.

“Shh, love, shh, I’ve got you now,” Victor hushed the crying omega, trying to comfort him. He knew if his own instincts were already causing his skin to prickle and his nerves to short violently, demanding he re-join with his un-bonded mate immediately until they had bonded, that the omega must be experiencing even worse hormonal swings; Yuuri could be experiencing real pain, and Victor hated the thought of it.

Victor pressed the blunt head of his cock to Yuuri’s stretched, lax entrance, ruined by his knot and still dribbling gushes of semen with every squirt of slick. Yuuri reached for the alpha’s shoulders and clawed at them, whining, until Victor finally sank himself deeply into his mate once more.

He loved Yuuri softly, sweetly, and deeply. Their bodies melted into each other's as if they had always been one form, one soul, just temporarily separated until now. Parting was painful. When Victor pulled his hips back, a deep ache set in, burning from his groin up to his chest, settling behind his ribs with a steady, dull throbbing. He knew actually consummating a mating bond was extremely emotionally and physically intense. But they hadn't technically mated yet, their glands were not permanently marked, yet, and already Victor felt completely overwhelmed by everything he was experiencing.

His knot began to swell again and he pressed it into Yuuri's entrance deeply, sheathing his sex to the root in the omega's body. He let his knot swell and grow inside Yuuri this time, to minimize discomfort, and was surprised to feel his barbs begin to jut out and lock themselves into the omega's flesh once more. They were tied completely together again, and Victor collapsed into Yuuri's loving arms, hearts pounding together, knocking against their ribs in tandem. The alpha buried his face into the omega's rounded shoulder and started to cry as his sex continued releasing wave upon wave of semen into his mate, barbs stinging and aching pleasurably all the while.

"Vicchan, what's wrong?"

"I love you so much, Yura. I don't think you know how much," Victor cried, the thought of ever parting from his Yuuri's body making his stomach roll in protest, and a fierce ache burn through him.

"I know, Vicchan, I know. I love you too, with everything I am."

Yuuri whimpered in pain momentarily, when the alpha shifted against him and caused one of his barbs to scrape against the omega's insides, but Victor only pressed his sex even deeper, nudging the base of his cock right against Yuuri's abused rim, puffy and red, and shushed the omega's whines with wet kisses, his hips now moving mindlessly into the omega.

When Victor's knot deflated the second time, he barely had the willpower to pull himself out of his mate, but he managed to do so, but remained on top of the omega, keeping their bodies pressed closely together.

Yuuri wrapped his arms and legs around the alpha above him and pressed his body up against Victor’s, whining and trying to preen under the weight of his mate. They had just made love two times, and already his body was screaming for more. It seemed all of his omegan hormones had crested again. It felt like a heat, and his instincts were beginning to mute everything else in his mind. He needed to be claimed by his mate. Bonded. Marked. Why hadn't his alpha bonded him yet? They had joined their bodies twice now, as alpha and omega, and yet he was still not marked. His scent glands burned on his neck, aching painfully. He was ready, his whole body was ready. He needed his alpha.

His nipples had started leaking steady dribbles of milk once more, and they stung with no stimulation, but where they brushed against Victor's skin. Yuuri's bones felt like they were throbbing to the beat of his heart, his whole body was ready to shake apart, he needed to present for his mate. He had never actually done a mating presentation for his alpha, perhaps that's why Victor hadn't really bonded him yet. Yuuri's instincts flared, his inner omega yelling and howling for his mate, and he suddenly whined and bucked, trying to get the alpha off of him, so he could get onto his knees and present properly for his mate.

Victor lifted himself off Yuuri and moved to the side of the bed for the suddenly jittery omega. He was trying to talk down his alpha instincts going haywire and demanding he claim his mate unequivocally, brutally, so there could be no question who this omega belonged to. Victor clamped his mouth shut; just because Yuuri had just had the alpha’s cock inside of him didn’t mean he was ready for a mating bond, for a bite, yet. His whole body was suffering at being parted from his mate already. He was trying so desperately to hold onto any thread of control.

But then Yuuri got to his knees, facing Victor, and tilted his head widely to the side, so that his gland stuck out obviously, and started preening himself with his fingers, sliding them all over his body. When his hands got to his puffy, dark brown nipples, he rolled the elongated buds between his finger pads and cried out when milk spurted out in droves. Yuuri pinched his nipples and tugged rhythmically, milking himself, and Victor watched hungrily as the milk dripped down the omega's torso, and created a puddle on the bed. Yuuri's cock started dribbling too, precum gushing out to join the milk by his knees. Yuuri was almost sobbing now, the release of his milk felt so good, he was about to make himself cum just from tugging at his nipples, from milking himself. He choked out Victor's name and orgasmed all over himself, cock untouched, nipples twisted and squirting milk between his fingers.

The alpha whined but didn’t move. He couldn’t be sure. His whole body was shaking with the effort of staying still. What if Yuuri just wanted him to watch? He didn't want to throw himself all over the omega and maul his scent glands like his inner alpha was screaming to...he needed to know that's what Yuuri really wanted from him.

But then, the omega turned away from Victor and got on all fours, presenting his dripping, used hole to the alpha and started swaying his hips from side to side, flagging like a bitch in heat for his alpha, as if the omega needed to waft his scented pheromones towards the alpha to tempt him any further.

Victor could see his own cum leaking in thick globs from Yuuri's gaping hole, along with the omega's own, clear slick. His hole was stretched, the rim was bright red and puffy, wrinkled at the edges where the muscles continued twitching and fluttering around nothing.

"Alpha, bond me. Make me yours," Yuuri husked out, reaching one hand back to stuff three of his own fingers greedily into his hole with a harsh jab, before pulling them back out and sucking his alpha's semen and his own slick off of them with loud, lewd slurping noises.

The alpha leapt forward and covered the omega’s body with his own, growling and snapping his fangs near the omega’s ear, warning the omega away if this was not what he wanted. But the omega crumpled submissively under the alpha’s weight and tilted his head to the side again, presenting one of his glands, and whimpered, “Alpha, please.”

The alpha sunk his long, thick cock deep into the omega’s slick hole, pressing his semi-swollen knot past the rim quickly in one, hard thrust, and started fucking in and out of the omega as much as he could with his knot tugging at the omega’s wrecked rim at each pass. The alpha grabbed both of the omega’s hands above his head, tangled their fingers together, and pushed his dick so deeply into the omega they both jolted, causing the omega to whine in discomfort when the alpha’s plush cockhead pressed up against his hard cervix.

Victor was in a rut haze, pairing to Yuuri's suddenly induced heat. He was only an alpha, to Yuuri's omega. All he wanted to do was breed his omega and mark him viciously, so that no other alphas would ever even think to look at his omega. The alpha fucked into the omega at a brutal pace, until he could no longer pull himself out from the omega’s slit, because his knot had swollen too much and locked them into place once more, vicious barbs restraining the omega from moving beneath him. The omega was completely under his control. His barbed knot made sure of that.

The alpha pressed his cock firmly forward towards the omega's hard cervix and let the barbs scrape up inside the omega before stilling once more, locking the head of his cock directly against the omega's cervix. Then, the alpha shook on top of the omega and started releasing his seed deep into his mate’s body, aiming right into his cervix so he could get the omega pregnant with his pups right away. The alpha sunk his fangs into the scent gland on the right side of the omega's neck, ripping through the skin like a knife through butter. The alpha could feel pulses of venom flooding out of his fangs and into the omega as his seed gushed into his mate’s body where they were locked together.

The alpha pulled his fangs from the right scent gland and the omega whined and tilted his head the other direction, presenting his un-marred scent gland on the left side of his neck. What a good, sweet omega. The alpha struck forward and buried his fangs into the left scent gland as well, scarring and permanently leaving his scent in his mate’s most prominent scent glands, those on his neck. Then, the alpha nudged his nose against the omega's ear, and turned his neck to the side, so that the omega could turn his head and bite at the alpha's own scent glands with his blunt, omega teeth until they broke the skin and marked the alpha as belonging to Yuuri. Victor did this with both of his own scent glands.

They were bonded now. Both of their mating glands, their prominent scent glands on each side of their neck, were marked and would scar over with the imprint of their mate's teeth for all to see. They’d be able to pick up on each other’s scents almost intuitively now, like empathically sensing their mate’s feelings. Their instincts would demand they remain near to each other, while newly-bonded. And they already had a pup to think of too, he would also be affected by this.

But the alpha and omega couldn’t think beyond their instincts. It was like a reactionary heat and rut, and they were lost in each other. The alpha stayed buried inside the omega’s body, his knotted cock releasing waves of semen every couple of minutes, twitching and causing reverberating, orgasmic echoes in his mate’s entrance. The alpha nuzzled and licked at the fresh bonding bites on his mate’s neck and cleaned the wounds, while the omega lay limply beneath him and purred.

Victor’s knot finally went down and they were able to separate, and Yuuri whined and curled up in the bed. His nipples burned, and there was a wet puddle of milk on the bed where he had laid on his stomach while Victor fucked him. His mind was coming back to him out of the heat, he was marked, his omega was sated for now; but, they weren’t in a nest and his instincts were screaming at him that they weren't safe, and he needed his pup!

Yuuri started hyperventilating and Victor grabbed his mate, frantically whispering, “Shh, my darling, what is it, Yura? What’s wrong?”

His mate was flooding the room with distressed pheromones and Victor’s alpha instincts roared back to life, after calming out of the rut haze when his knot had finally deflated. He immediately grabbed what blankets he could find and covered his mate with them, growling at the whimpering omega to stay still on the bed while he protected him and hunted down their wayward pup.

Victor didn’t have to go far, he opened the door and bumped into Yuri, hovering outside, looking distressed, “Is Yuuri okay? He smelled upset, a-and I could smell it from my room?”

“Go to your mother, he needs you,” Victor managed to grit out, though his instincts and extended fangs were locking his tongue from speaking too much.

Victor went to the closet where Yuuri kept their nesting supplies and started carrying armfuls of it into the room where his mate and pup now lay on the bed, curled up together. Yuri had stayed above the blankets Yuuri was under, so he wouldn't lay in their bodily fluids.

Yuuri had mostly calmed, his pup had curled up with him and had started rooting around for a nipple, and the omega was finally able to feed his pup again. The relief coursing through his body as Yuri sucked large mouthfuls of milks from his nipples was powerful and coursed through him in orgasmic waves of relieved bliss.

The alpha had started making their nest around the omega and their pup, weaving a sturdy structure meant to protect. When his mate and pup were both safely ensconced in his nest, Victor stood guard at the entrance, purring in content as he smelled his mate’s enticing pheromones, sweetened apples, fully ripe, blossoming on the trees in the sunshine.

When Yuri had drunk his fill from the omega, he whined and tried leaving the nest. But Victor and Yuuri both growled at the wiggly pup and the omega pulled him back towards the center of their nest to preen him. Yuuri combed his fingers through Yuri’s hair and licked away any specks of dirt he detected on his pup. He pulled at his pup’s clothing and made sure to rub his scent all over the garments, marking their pup with their familial scents. Then, when his pup was finally cleaned and groomed, Yuuri pulled the bandage off his pup’s healing familial bond marks and gently nuzzled and licked the scabbed bites until his grumpy pup was purring lowly in his throat under the administrations.

Victor returned to the nest when he heard their pup’s purring, and enfolded Yuri into his arms, cooing at him, pleased. His mate and pup were so happy, it made him feel happy.

They didn’t have an adjoining nesting room for their pup like most parents would have for their newly birthed litters. And Victor wasn’t sure he was comfortable having their pup away from them, but his mate needed to be bred again. Now that the omega had fed their pup, his hormones were spiking yet again, as they were all so newly bonded to each other, and he needed to be mated as soon as possible, but this obviously wouldn’t be happening with their pup still in the nest.

Yuri solved the problem for them. He pulled himself out of their arms, "I'm glad you finally bonded, but you're disgusting. I can smell Katsudon needs you again," Yuri grumbled, gagging theatrically, "I know it'll hurt if I leave...I'm going to use your noise-cancelling headphones, okay?"

Victor nodded, scrambling to grab the headphones from where they rested near the bed, and plugged them into his phone, handing it all to Yuri. Yuri shuffled over to the edge of the nest and turned his back to them. The young teen was so mature in some ways, while remaining so lost and young in other ways. Victor didn't think he could have adopted a better pup.

He growled deep in his chest, reassuringly, pleased, to his pup and nipped his ear affectionately. He didn't comment on Yuri's twitching lips, hiding a smile, even as the teen refused to otherwise acknowledge his sire. Yuri curled up against the far wall of the nest, facing away from his sire and dam, and started watching videos on his phone with the noise-cancelling headphones on, ignoring them, but maintaining his comforting presence to soothe all their ragged, freshly-bonded instincts. Bless Yuri. He really could be the sweetest thing.

Victor turned back to his mate, who was whining and arching his back, legs open, waiting for his alpha to breed him again and again until this mating cycle passed. They all felt safe now. Their family was together in their nest. So Yuuri's omegan instincts could now focus on breeding in between bouts of feeding his pup, there was no more soured distress tinging his scent at all.

Victor rolled on top of Yuuri and his sex quickly found the omega's entrance once more. When Victor's knot popped this time, barbed again, Yuuri howled as one of the barbs caught inside of his body while the alpha was busy trying to press his shaft right up against his omega's cervix. Their pup startled and quickly went to his mother, to find out what was wrong, but Yuuri only cooed at him, petting his hair, and offering to breastfeed him again while the alpha was locked inside his body, cock mindlessly pushing wave after wave of semen into him.

Yuri suckled at Yuuri's milky nipples, not looking at his sire where he was locked inside of his dam's body, he only had eyes for his dam's glowing face and kind eyes. Yuuri petted Yuri's hair and whispered loving things to him in a mix of Japanese and English the entire time he was feeding him and when he was finished this time, Yuri laid himself against his dam, back to the omega, and whined until the omega started licking at his bonding mark on the base of his neck again.

They stayed like that for hours, together in their nest. Victor bred Yuuri over and over, and during the breaks, when his barbed knot was locked inside of the omega's body, their pup would roll over in his dam's arms and breastfeed from him, before turning his back to Yuuri once he was done and purring while his dam sucked and licked at his parental bonding mark while being bred by the alpha, Victor's thrusts causing Yuuri's body to nudge and press against Yuri. Yuuri remained under a blanket the whole time, with Victor, so Yuri couldn't feel his dam's sex each time it hardened and ejaculated again and again, but the pheromones hanging in the air were heavy and almost suffocating to the pup. He whined and palmed his own sex uncomfortably as it swelled, hard between his legs.

Eventually the trio fell asleep together, tangled in their nest. Bonding was exhausting, physically and emotionally. And now Victor was coaching both Yuuri and Yuri, they each had to develop a free skate program and an exhibition skate piece, continue to perfect their short skate programs, and plan for the upcoming competitions. It was a lot. And they were navigating their new bonds as well, in a world where it wasn't common for a pup to be physically bonded past early childhood, with a newly bonded parental pair on top of that. They had a lot to figure out, but they'd do it, together.

**Author's Note:**

> All translations for the various Russian and Japanese words/sentences used in this story have been taken from Google Translate.
> 
> *~~~*
> 
> At the beginning of each chapter, I post the song(s) that inspired my writing in the chapter summary. At the very end of the story I plan on posting the entire soundtrack listed out. 
> 
> *~~~*
> 
> Here is the timeline of canon events used in this story (this story will continue past canon):  
> 1\. Dec.: Yuuri and Victor meet at GPF  
> 2\. March: Victor competes at "Worlds" and Yuuri moves back to Hasetsu  
> 3\. April: Victor moves to Hasetsu  
> 4\. May: Hot Springs on Ice Event  
> 5\. Oct.: Chugoku, Shikoku, and Kyushu Competition  
> 6\. Nov.: Cup of China  
> 7\. Nov.: Rostelecom Cup  
> 8\. Dec.: Grand Prix Final in Barcelona, Spain


End file.
